Ukusiza Intsha Ukuba Ibhekane Nenselele

IZWE, izitayela nezimfashini zalo bekulokhu kushintsha njalo. Ushintsho luphawuleka ngisho nakakhulu manje ngenxa yobuchwepheshe banamuhla. Obekusemfashinini izolo kuyaphuma namuhla, futhi okuthandwayo namuhla kuyobe sekuyisidala kusasa. Lolu shintsho olusheshayo lunethonya eliphawulekayo entsheni.

Inguquko Emphakathini

Eminyakeni yamuva, ubuchwepheshe bulethe inguquko enethonya elikhulu entsheni. Ngokwesibonelo, emazweni amaningi umakhalekhukhwini ne-computer sekuyizinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ekuxhumaneni kwentsha nabangane. Izingosi ze-Internet zokuxhumana nabangane zivule amathuba amaningi amasha. Enye intombazane yase-Australia eneminyaka engu-19 ithi: “Ungase ungabi nabo nhlobo abangane abangokoqobo kodwa ngokuphazima kweso ube namakhulu abo kuyi-Internet.”

Bambalwa abangaphika ukuthi umakhalekhukhwini ne-Internet kunezinzuzo eziningi. Nokho, abantu abaningi babonakala sebeyimilutha yala mathuluzi. Uprofesa waseyunivesithi uDonald Roberts uphawula ukuthi abanye abafundi “abakwazi ukuhlala bengakhulumi komakhalekhukhwini babo phakathi nokushintsha ikilasi lika-10:00 beya kwelika-11:00.” Uthi: “Mina ngibona sengathi bayakhathazeka uma kungekho okubashukumisayo—kunjengokungathi bathi ‘Anginakukumela ukuhlala ngithule.’”

Enye intsha iyavuma ukuthi isiyimilutha. UStephanie oneminyaka engu-16 uthi: “Sengiwumlutha omkhulu kamakhalekhukhwini nowokuthumelelana imiyalezo ngokushesha nge-Internet, ngoba iyona ndlela engixhumana ngayo nabangane bami. Uma ngifika ekhaya, ngivele ngiqonde kuyi-Internet, ngihlale kuyo . . . ngezinye izikhathi kuze kushaye ihora lesithathu entathakusa.” Ngenyanga, uStephanie uchitha imali engango-R730 kuya ku-R3 800 ngocingo. Uthi: “Njengamanje ngikweleta abazali bami imali engaphezu kwama-dollar angu-2 000 [R15 000] yokusebenzisa ucingo ngokweqile. Kodwa sengikujwayele kakhulu ukuhlala ngiphethe umakhalekhukhwini kangangokuthi angiphili kahle ngaphandle kwawo.”

Izinkinga zingaba ngaphezu kwemali. Lapho sihlola ngokuphila komkhaya, isazi semvelaphi nokuhlalisana kwabantu u-Elinor Ochs sathola ukuthi lapho umzali osebenzayo efika ekhaya, umuntu ashade naye nezingane babesuke begxile kakhulu kulokho ababekwenza kangangokuthi izikhathi ezimbili kwezintathu babengambingeleli nakumbingelela! Babemane baqhubeke nabakwenzayo emishinini yabo. U-Ochs uthi: “Sabona nokuthi kunzima kangakanani ngabazali ukuba bahileleke ekuphileni kwezingane zabo.” Unezela ukuthi kulokhu kuhlola abazali empeleni babebonakala beqhelelana nezingane zabo ezigxile kulokho ezikwenzayo.

Ingabe Izingosi Zokuxhumana Nabangane Azinangozi?

Abazali nothisha abaningi bakhathazekile ngesikhathi esichithwa yintsha ezingosini ze-Internet zokuxhumana nabangane. Lezi zingosi zivumela amakhasimende ukuba azakhele izingosi zawo bese ezihlobisa ngezithombe, ama-video, futhi abhale nezenzakalo zosuku, okuthiwa ama-blog.

Okukhangayo ngalezi zingosi ukuthi zenza amakhasimende akwazi ukuhlala exhumana nabangane. Okunye futhi ukuthi ukuzakhela ingosi yakho kwenza intsha ikwazi ukuveza lokho eyikho ‘nemibono yayo.’ Kuyaqondakala ukuthi kungani kukhanga lokhu, ngoba isikhathi sokuthomba siyisikhathi sokuba umuntu azifunde yena siqu futhi aveze imizwa yakhe ngendlela efinyelela futhi ishukumise abanye.

Kodwa inkinga iba ukuthi abanye abantu bazakhela ingosi eveza lokho abafuna ukuba yikho kunalokho abayikho. Omunye umfana oneminyaka engu-15 uthi: “Kwelinye lamakilasi engifunda kuwo, kukhona umntwana othi uneminyaka engu-21 futhi uhlala eLas Vegas.” Bobabili laba bafana bahlala endaweni engamakhilomitha angu-1 600 ukusuka kulelo dolobheni lase-United States.

Kuvame kakhulu ukukhohlisa okunjalo. Enye intombazane yase-Australia eneminyaka engu-18 iyavuma: “Ungenza noma yini kuyi-Internet. Ungaba umuntu ohluke ngokuphelele ngoba akekho okwaziyo ngempela. Uzizwa uzethemba. Ungase ukhulume ngezinto ezingekho ukuze ubonakale njengomuntu okungajabulisa ukuba naye. Ungase ufake izithombe zakho ovele kuzo ugqoke izingubo obungenakulokotha uzigqoke noma wenza izinto obungeke uzenze ngempela. Ungabhala izinto obungeke ulokothe uzisho ngempela. Uba nomuzwa wokuthi ungenza noma yini ungabanjwa ngoba awubonwa muntu. Akekho owaziyo ukuthi ungubani ngempela.”

Njenganoma iluphi uhlobo lokuxhumana, kukhona abazisebenzisa kahle nabazisebenzisa kabi lezi zingosi ze-Internet. Njengomzali, ingabe uyazi ukuthi izingane zakho zenzani kuyi-Internet? Ingabe uyaqiniseka ukuthi zisebenzisa isikhathi sazo ngokuhlakanipha?a (Efesu 5:15, 16) Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukusebenzisa kabi i-Internet kungachaya intsha ezingozini eziningi ezimbi kakhulu. Iziphi ezinye zalezi zingozi?

Ububi Be-Internet

Ukungaziwa kwabantu abasebenzisa i-Internet kuyenza ibe inkundla yokuzingela yabanukubezi bezingane. Intsha ingangena ogibeni ingahlosile uma inikeza abanye imininingwane yayo siqu noma ivuma ukuhlangana nabantu ebilokhu ixhumana nabo kuyi-Internet. Enye incwadi ethi Parenting 911 ithi abanye abantu baphikisa ngelithi “izingane zibhekana nezinsongo ezinkulu zodlame noma zokunukubezwa emakhaya noma ezinkundleni zokudlala. Kodwa kukhona ingozi ecashile kubazali, yokuthi abantu abanukubeza izingane ngokobulili bayakwazi ukungena ezindlini zabo nge-Internet bese bonakalisa ubumsulwa bezingane zabo.”

Ubuchwepheshe bokuxhumana busetshenziswa kabi nangezinye izindlela. Enye intsha ihileleka kulokho okuthiwa “ukuxhaphaza abanye kuyi-Internet [cyberbullying]”—okuwukubagcona, ukubakhipha inyumbazane, ukubahlupha noma ukubasongela njalo kulezi zingosi. Kuye kwenziwa izingosi zokujivaza abanye ngokuqondile, kuyilapho i-e-mail, izingosi zengevu nezinye izinto ezinjalo seziyimigudu yokunyundela. Umqondisi weqembu lezokulondeka kuyi-Internet ukholelwa ukuthi izingane ezingamaphesenti angu-80 eziphakathi kweminyaka eyishumi nengu-14 zathinteka ngokuqondile noma ngokungaqondile kulo mkhuba wokuxhaphaza abanye kuyi-Internet.

Yiqiniso, ukuxhaphaza abanye akukusha. Kodwa manje, amahemuhemu, inhlebo nokunyundela kungabhebhetheka ngokushesha okukhulu. Futhi lo mkhuba uya uba mubi nakakhulu. Kwezinye izimo, omakhalekhukhwini abanamakhamera basetshenziselwa ukuthwebula izithombe nama-video ahlambalazayo nangase abangele amahloni, mhlawumbe egumbini lesikole lokushintsha noma lokugeza. Lezi zithombe zifakwa kuyi-Internet bese zithunyelwa kunoma ubani oshisekela ukuzithola.

Ukukhathazeka Komphakathi Okwandayo

Izindaba ezinjalo zashukumisela uMnyango Wezomthetho Nokulondeka Komphakathi eNew Jersey, e-U.S.A., ukuba uthumelele abazali nabanakekeli bezingane incwadi, ubanxusa ukuba ‘bafake isandla emkhankasweni wawo wokuthatha isinyathelo ngenkinga evelayo yezingane ezisebenzisa kabi i-Internet, esikoleni nangaphandle kwesikole.’ Le ncwadi yaveza ukuthi into ekhathaza kakhulu ukufakwa kwemininingwane yomuntu siqu nezithombe kuyi-Internet. Izingosi ezembula imininingwane enjalo ngokuvamile zikhanga intsha nabantu abadala abonakele. Futhi yathi: “Njengomzali kudingeka wazi ukuthi kunesizathu sangempela sokukhathazeka ngalezi zinkinga, futhi ungafeza ingxenye ebalulekile ekugcineni izingane zakho zilondekile ngokuthola ulwazi, futhi uhileleke ngokwengeziwe ekusebenziseni kwazo i-Internet.”

Kodwa kuyamangaza ukuthi kuncane kangakanani abazali abakwaziyo ngalokho okwenziwa izingane zabo kuyi-Internet. Omunye umama, oneso elibukhali kulokho okwenziwa indodakazi yakhe eneminyaka engu-16 kuyi-Internet, uthi: “Abazali bebengashaqeka futhi babe namahloni ngempela uma bebengathola ukuthi izingane zabo zithumelelana ini nokuthi zixoxani kuyi-Internet.” Ngokwesinye isazi sezokulondeka kuyi-Internet, enye intsha ithumelelana izithombe eziveza ubulili ingcaca.

Amathonya Amabi

Ingabe konke lokhu kwesaba kumane kuwukusangana nje kwabantu abadala abakhathazeka ngokweqile, futhi asebekhohliwe ukuthi kunjani ukuba umuntu osemusha? Izibalo zibonisa okuphambene. Cabanga: Kwezinye izindawo, cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu yabafana namantombazane abaphakathi kweminyaka engu-15 no-17 isike yalala nothile. Intsha engaphezu kwesigamu ephakathi kweminyaka engu-13 no-19 ithi ike yahlanganyela ubulili ngomlomo.

Ingabe ubuchwepheshe bube nomthelela kulezi zibalo ezisangulukisayo? Akungatshazwa. Umbiko we-New York Times Magazine uthi: “Intsha ingaxhumana nothile kalula nje ngomakhalekhukhwini ne-Internet, okungamathuluzi ayinikeza izinga elingenakuqhathaniswa lokwenza izinto ingabonwa.”b Ngempela, umuntu kudingeka achofoze izinkinobho ezimbalwa nje ze-computer ukuze abonane ngasese nomuntu wobulili obuhlukile. Kokunye ukuhlola, amantombazane angaphezu kwamane kwayisihlanu avuma ukuthi awaqaphi ngendlela okumelwe aqaphe ngayo lapho esebenzisa i-Internet.

Abanye abafuna umuntu abangaqomana naye noma abangaxhumana naye kuyi-Internet bathola okungaphezu kwalokho abakulindele. UJennifer Welch we-Novato Police Department eCalifornia uthi: ‘Siye sabona ukwanda kwamacala okuhlasela ngokobulili.’ Uthi izisulu eziningi zaqala ukuhlangana nababezoba abahlaseli bazo kuyi-Internet zabe sezivumelana ngokuhlangana nabo ubuso nobuso.

Qaphela “Ukuhlakanipha Kwezwe”!

Izingosi ezeluleka intsha emaphephandabeni nakomagazini zibonakala ziyekethisa uma kuziwa endabeni yentsha nobulili. Nakuba ziwamukela umqondo wokuzithiba ebulilini noma wokuzigcina umsulwa ngokuziphatha, umgomo wazo uwukukhuthaza ubulili “obuphephile” kunokungahlanganyeli nhlobo kubo. Kubonakala sengathi zizithethelela ngelithi: ‘Asikwazi ukuyinqanda intsha, kodwa okungenani singayikhuthaza ukuba ingenzi izinto budedengu.’

Kwesinye isihloko esasisengosini ye-Internet ehlonishwayo eyenzelwe intsha, udaba lokuthi kuyafaneleka yini ukuhlanganyela ebulilini noma cha lwafingqwa ngala maphuzu amathathu okumelwe acatshangelwe: (1) ingozi yokukhulelwa, (2) ingozi yokungenwa izifo ezithathelwana ngobulili (3) nokubaluleka kokunquma kwalaba ababili ukuthi bakulungele yini ngokomzwelo lokho abafuna ukukwenza. Le ngosi ithi: “Ekugcineni, yini okumelwe nenze isinqumo.” Kwasikwa kwelijikayo nje endabeni yokuxoxisana nabazali ngale ndaba. Futhi ayizange iphathwe nakuphathwa eyokuthi kulungile yini noma akulungile ukuhlanganyela lobo bulili.

Ngokuqinisekile, uma ungumzali ufuna izingane zakho zithole isiqondiso esingcono kakhulu kunokuqondiswa ‘ukuhlakanipha kwezwe’ okungathembekile nokuwubuwula. (1 Korinte 1:20) Ungazisiza kanjani ukuba zibhekane ngokuphumelelayo nezinselele zokuthomba futhi zigweme izingosi okukhulunywe ngazo kulesi sihloko? Impendulo ingase ingabi lula njengokucisha i-computer noma ukuziphuca ucingo. Amakhambi akha phezulu awayifinyeleli inhliziyo. (IzAga 4:23) Cabangela nokuthi izingane zakho kungenzeka zisebenzisa la mathuluzi njengomakhalekhukhwini ne-Internet ukuze zanelise izidingo ezithile ongazanelisa ngokuphumelelayo wena njengomzali. Iziphi ezinye zalezi zidingo?

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 4]

“Uma ngifika ekhaya, ngivele ngiqonde kuyi-Internet, ngihlale kuyo . . . ngezinye izikhathi kuze kushaye ihora lesithathu entathakusa”

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 5]

“Ungenza noma yini kuyi-Internet. Ungaba umuntu ohluke ngokuphelele ngoba akekho okwaziyo ngempela”

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 7]

“Abazali bebengashaqeka futhi babe namahloni ngempela uma bebengathola ukuthi izingane zabo zithumelelana ini nokuthi zixoxani”

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Ukuxhumana Nabangane Nge-Internet Indaba Yentombazane Ethile

“Ngaqala ukuya engosini ye-Internet yesikole sethu ukuze ngixoxe nengifunda nabo nothisha. Ngaqala ngokuchitha ihora ngesonto. Ngokushesha ngase ngiya kuyo nsuku zonke. Ngase ngiwumlutha we-Internet kangangokuthi ngangicabanga ngayo ngisho nalapho ngingayisebenzisi. Ngangehluleka ukugxilisa ingqondo kunoma yini enye. Ngasilela emsebenzini wami wesikole, futhi ngangingasalaleli emihlanganweni yobuKristu, ngingasabanaki ngisho nabangane bami bangempela. Ekugcineni, abazali bami bakuqaphela okwakwenzeka base benginqumela isikhathi sokusebenzisa i-Internet. Kwakunzima kakhulu lokho kimi. Kwakungihlanyisa. Kodwa manje ngiyajabula ngokuthi izinto zenzeka ngale ndlela, futhi ngiye ngakwazi ukuzivumelanisa nesimo. Angisafuni neze ukuphinde ngibe umlutha!”—UBianca.