Ukubhekana Nokufelwa
“Ukufa kukababa kwangishiya ngishaqekile futhi ngiphelelwe yithemba. Ngangikhungethwe umuzwa wecala ngenxa yokuthi ngangingekho eduze kwakhe ngesikhathi efa. Ayikho into engaqhathaniswa nobuhlungu bokufelwa ngumuntu omthandayo. Ngimkhumbula kakhulu ubaba!”—USara.
ABANTU abaningi bakuthola kunzima ukuxoxa ngokufa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isizinda sabo noma inkolo. Ezinye izilimi zinamagama amaningana okukuhloniphisa ukuze kudanjiswe ubuhlungu. EsiZulwini, kunokuba kuthiwe umuntu “ufile,” abantu bayaye bathi “ushonile,” “usesishiyile,” noma “akasekho.”
Noma kunjalo, ngisho namagama amahle kakhulu awenzi mehluko otheni ekudambiseni ukujula kosizi oluzwiwa yilabo abalahlekelwe umuntu abamthandayo. Kwabanye, ukudabuka kuba kukhulu kangangokuba bayehluleka ukwamukela ukuthi le nto yenzeke ngempela.
Uma uke wafelwa umuntu omthandayo, kungenzeka ukuthi nawe ukuthola kunzima ukwamukela okwenzeka. Mhlawumbe uze wenze sengathi konke kuhamba kahle nakuba wazi ngaphakathi ukuthi akunjalo neze. Yiqiniso, abantu ababonisi ukudabuka ngendlela efanayo, ngakho uma ungakubonisi ngezinyembezi ukudabuka okuzwayo lokho akusho ukuthi uyayicindezela imizwelo yakho.a Nokho, kungaba nenkinga uma uzizwa unesibopho sokubonisa abanye ukuthi udabuke kanjani—mhlawumbe amalungu omkhaya nawo ngokwawo adabukile.
“Anginalo Ithuba Lokukhala”
Cabanga ngendaba kaNathaniel, insizwa esencane eyafelwa unina lapho ineminyaka engu-24. Uthi, “Ekuqaleni ngangididekile, nganginomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ngisekele ubaba neningi labangane bakamama elalidabukile. Ngangingenaso isikhathi sokukhala.”
Ngemva kwesikhathi esingaphezu konyaka, uNathaniel wathola ukuthi wayengakakwamukeli lokhu kufelwa. Uyalandisa, “Namanje ubaba uke angishayele ucingo ezwakalisa usizi lwakhe, futhi lokho kuyinto enhle. Uyakudinga ukukhuluma ngale ndaba futhi nami ngiyakujabulela ukumsiza. Inkinga iwukuthi lapho mina ngidinga ukusekelwa, kubonakala kungekho lapho ngingakuthola khona.”
Abanakekeli—kuhlanganise nalabo abaqeqeshelwe ezokwelapha abahlale bebona abantu befa—bangase bazizwe bebophekile ukuba bayicindezele imizwa yabo. Cabanga ngendaba kaHeloisa, osekuyiminyaka engaphezu kwengu-20 engudokotela. Wayesebenza emphakathini obumbene futhi wayesondelene neziguli zakhe. Uyalandisa, “Eziningi ngangisuke nginazo ngesikhathi zifa, futhi ezinye zazo zingabangane bami engibathandayo.”
UHeloisa waqaphela ukuthi ukukhala kuyindlela engokwemvelo yokudambisa ubuhlungu. Uthi, “Ngangikuthola kunzima ukukhala. Ngangikhathazeka kakhulu ngokuqinisa abanye kangangokuba ngangiba nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ngiyicindezele imizwa yami. Ngangikholelwa ukuthi abanye babelindele lokho kimi.”
“Ukushona Kwakhe Kwashiya Isizungu Ekhaya”
Cishe isizungu singenye yezinselele ezinkulu labo abashonelwe abhekana nazo. Ngokwesibonelo, u-Ashley wayeneminyaka engu-19 uma unina ebulawa umdlavuza. Uthi: “Ngemva kwalokho, ngazizwa ngingenabani futhi nginesizungu. Umama wayengumngane wami omkhulu. Sasichitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye!”
Kuyaqondakala ukuthi u-Ashley ukuthola kunzima ukubuyela ekhaya usuku ngalunye, afike athole ukuthi unina akekho. Uthi: “Ukushona kwakhe kwashiya isizungu ekhaya. Izikhathi eziningi ngangivele ngiye ekamelweni lami ngifike ngikhale njengoba ngibuka izithombe zakhe futhi ngicabanga ngezinto esasivame ukuzenza ndawonye.”
Qiniseka ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ushonelwe ilungu lomkhaya noma umngane omthandayo, awuwedwa osizini lwakho. Abaningi bathole izindlela eziphumelelayo zokubhekana nakho njengoba sizobona.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Njengoba yehlukile indlela umuntu ngamunye adabuka ngayo, kungaba okungafanele ukuba abanye bafinyelele iziphetho ngalabo abangayibonisi obala imizwelo yabo ngemva kokufa kothandekayo.
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 5]
“Ngazizwa ngingenabani futhi nginesizungu. Umama wayengumngane wami omkhulu”—U-Ashley