Isahluko 24

Yini Okufanele Ngiyenze Uma Abazali Bami Bexabana?

Ingabe abazali bakho bake baxabane phambi kwakho? Uma kunjalo, yikuphi kulokhu okulandelayo okuvame ukubaxabanisa?

□ Imali

□ Imisebenzi yasekhaya

□ Izihlobo

□ Uwena

Yini ofisa ukuyitshela abazali bakho ngendlela okukuthinta ngayo lokhu? Bhala izimpendulo zakho ngezansi.

․․․․․

UKUXABANA kwabazali bakho kuyokuthinta nakanjani. Phela, uyabathanda futhi uthembele kubo ukuba bakusekele. Ngakho, kungase kukuqede amandla ukubezwa behilizisana. Ungase uvumelane nentombazane egama layo nguMarie, ethi, “Kunzima ukuhlonipha abazali bami lapho bona bebonakala bengahloniphani.”

Ukubona abazali bakho bejikijelana ngamazwi kukwenza uqaphele iqiniso elibuhlungu: Nabo abaphelele, benza amaphutha njengabanye abantu. Ukuqaphela leli qiniso kungase kukwenze uhlalele ovalweni. Uma kuhlale kunezingxabano ezishubile, ungase ukhathazeke ngokuthi umshado wabo usengcupheni yokuchitheka. UMarie uthi, “Lapho ngizwa abazali bami bexabana, ngivele ngibone sengathi bazohlukana nokuthi kuzodingeka ngikhethe ukuthi imuphi engizohlala naye. Ngiye ngesabe nokuthi ngizohlukaniswa nezingane zakithi.”

Kungani abazali bexabana, futhi yini okufanele uyenze lapho kuqubuka izingxabano ekhaya?

Okwenza Abazali Baxabane

Ngokuvamile, abazali bakho ‘babekezelelana ngothando.’ (Efesu 4:2) Kodwa iBhayibheli lithi: “Bonke bonile futhi bayasilela enkazimulweni kaNkulunkulu.” (Roma 3:23) Abazali bakho abaphelele. Ngakho-ke, akufanele kukumangaze uma becasulana futhi ngezikhathi ezithile kuze kube sezingeni lokuba bahilizisane ngamazwi.

Khumbula nokuthi siphila ‘ezikhathini ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo.’ (2 Thimothewu 3:1) Izingcindezi zokuziphilisa, ukukhokha izikweletu, ukushikiliswa yizimo zasemsebenzini—konke lokhu kwenza kube nezinkinga ezinkulu emshadweni. Futhi uma bobabili abazali besebenza, ukunquma ukuthi ubani ozokwenza imisebenzi ethile yasendlini kungabaxabanisa.

Qiniseka ngokuthi uma abazali bakho bengaboni ngaso linye, akusho ukuthi umshado wabo uzochitheka. Uzomangala ukuthola ukuthi basathandana—nakuba imibono yabo ingafani ezintweni ezithile.

Ake sifanekise: Wake wayibukela ibhayisikobho nabangane bakho, wabe usuthola ukuthi ninemibono engafani ngayo? Kuyenzeka lokho. Ngisho nabantu abasondelene bayoba nemibono engafani ngezinto ezithile. Kungenzeka okufanayo nangabazali bakho. Mhlawumbe bobabili bakhathazekile ngesimo sezimali zomkhaya, kodwa banemibono engafani ngendlela yokusebenzisa imali; bobabili bafuna ukuhlela iholide lomkhaya, kodwa banemibono engafani ngokuthi bangaphumula kanjani; bobabili bayafuna uphumelele esikoleni, kodwa banemibono engafani ngokuthi iyiphi indlela engcono yokukukhuthaza.

Iphuzu liwukuthi, ubunye abudingi nibe nemibono efana ncimishí. Abantu ababili abathandanayo bangase bangaboni ngaso linye ngezinye izikhathi. Noma kunjalo, kungase kube nzima ukulalela abazali bakho bejikijelana ngamazwi. Yini ongayenza noma ongayisho engakusiza ukuba ukhuthazele?

Ongakwenza

Yiba nenhlonipho. Kulula ukucasulwa abazali abaxabana njalo. Phela, yibona okufanele babekele wena isibonelo—kungabi uwena obabekela isibonelo. Yize kunjalo, ukweyisa umzali kuyomane kwenezele ezinkingeni zasekhaya. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, uJehova uNkulunkulu ukuyala ukuba uhloniphe futhi ulalele abazali bakho—ngisho nalapho kungelula ukwenza kanjalo.—Eksodusi 20:12; IzAga 30:17.

Kuthiwani uma abazali bakho bexatshaniswa udaba oluhilela wena ngokuqondile? Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi omunye umzali ungumKristu, omunye akakholwa. Kungase kuphakame izinkinga ezingokwenkolo lapho kuyomelwe umelele ukulunga kanye nomzali owesaba uNkulunkulu. (Mathewu 10:34-37) Njalo nje kwenze “ngomoya omnene nangenhlonipho ejulile.” Ngelinye ilanga kungenzeka isibonelo sakho sisize ekuzuzeni umzali wakho ongakholwa.—1 Petru 3:15.

Ungathathi hlangothi. Yini ongayenza uma abazali bakho bekucindezela ukuba uthathe uhlangothi ezindabeni ezingakuhileli ngokuqondile? Lwela ukungathathi hlangothi. Mhlawumbe ungase ucele uxolo ngenhlonipho, uthi: “Mama nawe baba, nginithanda nobabili. Kodwa ngicela ningangenzi ngithathe uhlangothi. Le nto kufanele niyixazulule nobabili.”

Khuluma. Tshela abazali bakho ukuthi uzizwa kanjani lapho bexabana. Khetha isikhathi ocabanga ukuthi bayokulalela ngaso, bese ngenhlonipho ubatshela indlela ukuxabana kwabo okukucasula ngayo, kukuthukuthelise noma kuze kukwesabise.—IzAga 15:23; Kolose 4:6.

Okungafanele Ukwenze

Ungazenzi umeluleki wezemishado. Njengosemusha, awukufanelekeli ukuxazulula izingxabano zabazali bakho. Ngokwesibonelo: Ake sithi usendizeni encane bese uzwa umshayeli nomsizi wakhe bexabana. Ungakhathazeka kufanele. Kodwa yini ebingenzeka uma ubungagabadela utshele abashayeli bendiza ukuthi kufanele bayishayele kanjani, noma uze uzame ngisho nokuthatha izintambo?

Ngokufanayo, ‘ukuzama ukuthatha izintambo’ ngokuzihilela ezinkingeni zomshado wabazali bakho cishe kuyokwenza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ngokugabadela umuntu umane nje abangele ukulwa, kodwa kulabo ababonisanayo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” (IzAga 13:10) Cishe abazali bakho bangakwazi ukuzixazulula kangcono izinkinga zabo ngokubonisana ngazo ngasese.—IzAga 25:9.

Ungahlanganyeli. Amazwi amabili axabanayo adala ukukhathazeka okukhulu. Kungani wenezela elesithathu? Noma ungaze ulingeke kangakanani ukuba usho okuthile, iqiniso liwukuthi ngumthwalo wabazali bakho—hhayi owakho—ukuxazulula izingxabano zabo. Ngakho-ke, lwela ukulandela iseluleko seBhayibheli sokuba ‘unake izindaba zakho siqu’ uma kuziwa kulokho. (1 Thesalonika 4:11) Musa ukuzigaxa ezingxabanweni.

Ungabaqhathi abazali bakho. Empeleni enye intsha iyakubhebhezela ukulwa kwabazali bayo ngokubaqhatha. Lapho umama ethi cha, iya kubaba iyomncenga ukuba avume. Ubuqili obunjalo bungase bukwenze uthole inkululeko ethile, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bandisa ukungezwani ekhaya.

Ungavumeli ukuziphatha kwabo kuthonye ukuziphatha kwakho. Osemusha okuthiwa uPeter waqaphela ukuthi wayesebenzisa izindlela ezingezona ezobuKristu ukuze aziphindiselele kuyise owayebahlukumeza. UPeter uthi: “Ngangifuna ukumzwisa ubuhlungu. Ngangimthukuthelele kakhulu ngendlela ayephatha ngayo umama kanye nami nodadewethu.” Kungakabiphi, uPeter kwadingeka abhekane nemiphumela yezenzo zakhe. Sifundani kulokhu? Ukuziphatha okungafanele kuyomane kwenezele ezinkingeni obhekene nazo ekhaya.—Galathiya 6:7.

Bhala lapha ukuthi yimaphi amaphuzu akulesi sahluko okudingeka usebenzele kuwo kakhulu. ․․․․․

Ngokusobala, ngeke ukwazi ukuvimba abazali bakho ukuba bangaxabani. Kodwa qiniseka ukuthi uJehova angakusiza ukwazi ukubhekana nokukhathazeka okubangelwa ukuxabana kwabazali bakho.—Filipi 4:6, 7; 1 Petru 5:7.

Zama ngawo wonke amandla ukusebenzisa ukusikisela okungenhla. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abazali bakho bangase bazimisele ukuxazulula izinkinga zabo. Kwazi bani—bangase bayeke nokuxabana.

UMBHALO OYINHLOKO

“Amazwi enu ngaso sonke isikhathi mawabe nomusa.”—Kolose 4:6.

ICEBISO

Uma abazali bakho benomkhuba wokuxabana kushunq’ uthuli, sikisela ngenhlonipho ukuba bafune usizo.

UBUWAZI . . . ?

Abantu abathandanayo bangase bangavumelani ngezikhathi ezithile.

ENGIZOKWENZA!

Lapho abazali bami beqala ukuxabana, ngizo- ․․․․․

Uma abazali bami befuna ngithathe uhlangothi, ngizothi ․․․․․

Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali (abazali) wami ngale ndaba ․․․․․

UCABANGANI?

● Kungani abanye abazali bexabana?

● Kungani kungafanele uzibeke icala ngezinkinga zabazali bakho?

● Yini ongayifunda ngokubuka indlela abazali bakho abaziphatha

[Amazwi ahambisana nesithombe esisekhasini 205]

“Ukuqaphela ukuthi abazali bami abaphelele nokuthi banezinto ezibakhathazayo njengami, kungisizile ngakwazi ukubhekana nesimo lapho bexabana.’’—UKathy

[Ibhokisi/Izithombe ekhasini 206]

Kuthiwani Uma Abazali Bami Behlala Ngokwahlukana?

Uma abazali bakho behlukana, ungenza kanjani ngokuhlakanipha naphezu kwemizwa ebuhlungu ekuququda ngaphakathi? Cabangela ukusikisela okulandelayo:

● Gwema ukuzikhohlisa. Ngokwemvelo, isinyathelo sokuqala singase sibe ukuzama ukwenza abazali bakho babuyelane. U-Anne uyakhumbula: “Ngemva kokuba abazali bami behlukene, babeqhubeka besikhipha siyoshaywa umoya ndawonye ngezikhathi ezithile. Sasihlebelana nodadewethu sithi, ‘Asigijime sibashiye ngemuva bobabili.’ Kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi akuzange kusebenze lokho. Abazange babuyelane.”

IzAga 13:12 zithi: “Ukuhlehliswa kwento elindelwe kuyayigulisa inhliziyo.” Ukuze ugweme ukucindezeleka okungenasidingo, khumbula ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukulawula izenzo zabazali bakho. Awuyona imbangela yokuba bahlale ngokwahlukana, futhi ngeke ukwazi ukungenela bese ulungisa umshado wabo.—IzAga 26:17.

● Gwema inzondo. Ukufukamela intukuthelo nenzondo ngomzali noma ngabazali bakho kungenza umonakalo ongeke uphele. UTom ukhumbula indlela ayezizwa ngayo lapho eneminyaka engu-12: “Ngaqala ukumcasukela ngempela ubaba. Angithandi ukusebenzisa igama ‘lokuzonda,’ kodwa ngangimbambele igqubu. Ngangingaqondi ukuthi wayesikhathalela kanjani uma asishiya.”

Nokho, ukuhlala ngokwahlukana akuvamile ukubangelwa ukuthi umzali oyedwa umsulwa ngokuphelele, omunye mubi ngokuphelele. Iqiniso liwukuthi, mhlawumbe abazali bakho abakutshelanga konke mayelana nomshado wabo noma ngokuhlukana kwabo; kungenzeka nokuthi kwabona abakuqondi. Ngakho, gwema ukwahlulela isimo uma ungawazi wonke amaqiniso. (IzAga 18:13) Kuyavunywa, kunzima ukungacasuki, futhi kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa uthukuthele kakhulu isikhathi esithile. Kodwa ukufukamela intukuthelo nomoya wokuphindisela kungabulimaza kancane kancane ubuntu bakho. Ngesizathu esihle, iBhayibheli lithi: “Hlukana nentukuthelo uyeke ukufutheka.”—IHubo 37:8.

● Bhekana namaqiniso. Kunokuba enye intsha imzonde umzali ongasahlali nayo, yenza okuphambene kakhulu nalokho, imthanda ngokweqile. Ngokwesibonelo, ubaba womunye umfana wayeyisidakwa futhi ezifela ngabantu besimame, washiya umkhaya wakhe izikhathi eziningi futhi ekugcineni wahlukanisa. Noma kunjalo, lona osemusha ukhumbula ukuthi ngasizathu simbe, wayecishe amkhulekele ubaba wakhe!

Uthando olunjalo luvamile. Kwelinye izwe, abantwana abangamaphesenti angu-90 abanabazali abahlukanisile, bahlala nonina futhi bavakashele oyise. Ngakho, ngumama onakekela izidingo zansuku zonke zabantwana—okuhlanganisa nokubayala. Nakuba eyithola imali yesondlo sabantwana, ngokuvamile umama udonsa kanzima ngokwezimali ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubaba angase achume ngokwezimali. Umphumela: Ukuvakashela ubaba kusho ukuthola izipho nokuba nesikhathi esimnandi! Ukuphila nomama kusho ukuciciyela nokutshelwa ukuthi yenza lokhu, ungakwenzi lokhu. Kuyadabukisa ukuthi enye intsha iye yashiya umzali ongumKristu ukuze iyohlala nomzali omi kahle ngokwezimali kodwa ongakholwa futhi ovumela noma yini.—IzAga 19:4.

Uma ulingeka ukuba wenze isinqumo esinjalo, bheka izinto eziza kuqala kuwe. Khumbula ukuthi uyasidinga isiqondiso sokuziphatha kanye nesiyalo. Ayikho enye into umzali angakunika yona eyobuthinta ngokujulile ubuntu bakho nohlobo lokuphila okuphila- yo.—IzAga 4:13.

[Isithombe ekhasini 202, 203]

Osemusha otshela abazali bakhe indlela yokuxazulula ukungezwani kwabo ufana nomgibeli otshela abashayeli bendiza ukuthi abayishayele kanjani