Ukuxhumana Phakathi Komkhaya Nasebandleni
“Ukukhuluma kwenu makube-nomusa njalo, kuyolisiwe ngosawoti.”—KOLOSE 4:6.
1. Yini uAdamu ayisho lapho uNkulunkulu eletha uEva kuye?
“AKEKHO umuntu oyisiqhingi . . . Wonke umuntu uyingxenye yezwe.” Yaloba kanjalo indoda ephawulayo eyisifundiswa emakhulwini ambalwa eminyaka adlule. Lapho isho lokho, yayimane igcizelela lokho uMdali akusho ngoAdamu: “Akukuhle ukuba umuntu ahlale yedwa.” UAdamu wayenaso isipho sokukhuluma nesolimi, ngoba wayeqambe zonke izilwane amagama. Kodwa uAdamu wayengenaso esinye isidalwa esingumuntu ayengaxhumana naso. Akumangalisi ukuthi lapho uNkulunkulu eletha uEva othandekayo kuye njengomkakhe, wababaza: “Lo useyithambo lamathambo ami nenyama yenyama yami”! Kanjalo, njengoba umkhaya wokuqala wesintu wawuqala uAdamu waqala ukuxhumana nomuntu ayephila naye.—Genesise 2:18, 23.
2. Ikuphi ukulimala okungabangelwa ukubukwa kwethelevishini okungalawuliwe?
2 Umkhaya uyindawo ekahle yokuxhumana. Ngempela, khona kanye ukuphumelela kokuphila komkhaya kuncike kukho. Nokho, ukuxhumana kudinga isikhathi nomzamo. Namuhla, elinye lamasela esikhathi elikhulu kunawo wonke ithelevishini. Ingaba ithuluzi elilimazayo okungenani ngezindlela ezimbili. Ingaheha kakhulu kangangokuba amalungu omkhaya angaluthwa yiyo, kubangele ukuntuleka kokuxhumana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ithelevishini ingaba indlela yokubaleka lapho kunokungaqondani kahle noma imizwa elimele. Esikhundleni sokulungisa izinkinga, abanye abalingane bomshado baye bakhetha ukuyeka ukuxoxa bese bebukela ithelevishini. Ngakho iTV ingaba nengxenye enkulu ekuhlulekeni ukuxhumana, okuthiwa kuwumbhidlizi wemishado oyinhloko. Labo abanobunzima ekugcineni ukubukela ithelevishini kusesilinganisweni esiphansi bangenza kahle uma becabangela ukwehlukana nayo ngokuphelele.—Mathewu 5:29; 18:9.
3. Abanye baye bazuza kanjani ekulinganiseni ukubuka iTV?
3 Eqinisweni, kuye kwatholakala imibiko ethakazelisayo elandisa ngezibusiso ezitholakalayo lapho ukusetshenziswa kweTV kuncishiswa noma kuyekwa ngisho nokuyekwa. Omunye umkhaya wabhala: “Sesixoxa ngokwengeziwe . . . senze ukucwaninga okwengeziwe kweBhayibheli . . . Sidlala imidlalo ndawonye . . . Zonke izici zenkonzo yethu yasensimini ziye zenyuka.” Omunye umkhaya washo lokhu ngemva kokuhlukana neTV yawo: “Asongi imali nje kuphela [babenesikhokhelo sezinhlelo zeTV ezikhokhelwayo] kodwa siye sasondelana ngokwengeziwe njengomkhaya futhi siye sathola ezinye izinto eziningi ezizuzisayo ukuba sizenze ngesikhathi sethu. Asinaso neze isizungu.”
Ukubuka, Ukuxoxa, Nokulalela
4. Umbhangqwana oshadile ungatshelana kanjani ukuthi uyazisana?
4 Kunezinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zokuxhumana emkhayeni. Ezinye azenziwa ngamazwi. Lapho abantu ababili bebukana nje, kuwuhlobo lokuxhumana. Ukuba ndawonye kungadlulisela umuzwa wokukhathalela. Abalingane kumelwe bakugweme ukungabi ndawonye isikhathi eside ngaphandle kokuba kunesizathu esingenakugwenywa. Umbhangqwana oshadile ungathuthukisa injabulo yomunye nomunye ngokujabulela ubungane obuseduze onabo ngaphakathi kwesibopho somshado. Ngendlela enothando kodwa enenhlonipho ephathana ngayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuphakathi kwabantu noma ngasese, ukubonisa isizotha esifanele ngokugqoka nangemikhuba emihle, ingatshelana buthule ukuthi yazisana ngokujulile. INkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yakubeka kulamazwi: “Mawubusiswe umthombo wakho, uthokoze ngomfazi wobusha bakho.”—IzAga 5:18.
5, 6. Kungani amadoda kufanele aqaphele ukubaluleka kokuxhumana nomkawo?
5 Ukuxhumana kudinga futhi ingxoxo, inkulumo phakathi kwabantu ababili—ukuxoxisana, hhayi ukutshelana. Nakuba abanye abesifazane bekwazi kangcono ukuveza imizwa yabo kunamadoda, lokhu akusona isaba sokuba amadoda abe abalingane abazithulelayo. Amadoda angamaKristu kufanele aqaphele ukuthi ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kuyinkinga eyinhloko emishadweni eminingi, ngakho kufanele azikhandle ekugcineni imizila yokuxhumana ivulekile. Ngempela, ayokwenza lokhu uma wona, kanye nomkawo, elalela iseluleko esihle umphostoli uPawulu asinikezayo kweyabase-Efesu 5:25-33. Ukuze indoda ithande umkayo njengomzimba wayo siqu, kumelwe ikhathalele inhlala-kahle yakhe nenjabulo, hhayi eyayo kuphela. Ukuze ifeze lokho, ukuxhumana kubalulekile.
6 Indoda akufanele ibe nesimo sengqondo sokuthi umkayo kufanele afunisele noma aqagele ukuthi iyamazisa. Udinga ukuqinisekiswa ngothando lwayo ngaye. Ukwazisa kwayo ingakubonisa ngezindlela eziningi—ngamazwi anothando nezipho ezingalindelwe, kuhlanganise nokumenza ahlale azi ngezinto ezingase zimthinte. Kunenselele futhi yokubonisa ukwazisa ngemizamo yomkayo, kungaba ukuzihlobisa kwakhe, ukuzikhandla kwakhe ngenxa yomkhaya, noma ukusekela kwakhe ngenhliziyo yonke imisebenzi engokomoya. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuze indoda ilalele iseluleko somphostoli uPetru esikweyoku-1 Petru 3:7, ‘sokuhlala nabo ngokokwazi,’ kumelwe ibe nozwela, oluboniswa ukuxhumana naye ngazo zonke izindaba ezibathinta bobabili, imnikeze udumo njengesitsha esibuthaka.—IzAga 31:28, 29.
7. Umfazi unasiphi isibopho sokuxhumana nomyeni wakhe?
7 Ngokufanayo, ukuze umfazi alalele iseluleko esiphathelene nokuzithoba esikweyabase-Efesu 5:22-24, kumelwe akhathalele ukugcina imizila yokuxhumana nomyeni wakhe ivulekile. Kudingeka anikeze indoda yakhe “inhlonipho ejulile,” (NW) kokubili ngenkulumo yakhe nangokuziphatha. Akumelwe neze azenzele izinto ngokwakhe noma angazinaki izifiso zayo. (Efesu 5:33) Ngaso sonke isikhathi, yena nomyeni wakhe kumelwe bathululelane izifuba.—Qhathanisa nezAga 15:22.
8. Ukuze bagcine imizila yokuxhumana ivulekile, yini abafazi okumelwe bazimisele ukuyenza?
8 Ngaphezu kwalokho, umfazi kumelwe aqaphele ukuba angazithuleli lapho ephatheke kabi njengendlela yokubonisa ukuzidabukela. Uma kunokungaqondani kahle okuthile, makafune ithuba elifanelekile lokuveza indaba. Yebo, thola isifundo eNdlovukazini uEsteri. Kwakunendaba yokufa nokuphila okwakumelwe iyilethe ekunakekeleni komyeni wayo. Ukuthatha kwayo isinyathelo ngokushesha nangobuhlakani kwasho insindiso kumaJuda. Sinesibopho kokubili kubalingane bethu nakithi ngokwethu sokuba sisebenzise ukuxhumana uma siye saphatheka kabi noma uma siphathwa kabi. Ubuhlakani nokuba nesimo sokuba namahlaya sokwesaba uNkulunkulu kungasiza ekwenzeni ukuxhumana kube lula ngokwengeziwe.—Esteri 4:15–5:8.
9. Ukulalela kufeza yiphi indima ekuxhumaneni?
9 Okushiwoyo ekusebenziseni inkulumo ukuze kugcinwe imizila yokuxhumana ivulekile yisibopho sokulalela lokho okushiwo ngomunye—nokwenza umzamo wokuthola incazelo yalokho akushilo. Lokho kudinga ukumlalelisisa lowo okhulumayo. Umuntu akudingeki aqonde amazwi ashiwoyo kuphela kodwa futhi kudingeka anakisise nesimo esingokomzwelo, indlela okuthile okushiwo ngayo. Ngokuvamile indoda iyashiyeka kulokhu. Abafazi bangase baphatheke kabi ngenxa yokuthi abayeni babo bayehluleka ukulalela. Futhi abafazi nabo kudingeka balalele ngokucophelela ukuze bagweme ukugijimela eziphethweni. ‘Ohlakaniphileyo uyokuzwa, aqhubeke ekufundeni.’—IzAga 1:5.
Ukuxhumana Phakathi Kwabazali Nabantwana
10. Ukuze benze ubulungisa ekuxhumaneni nabantwana babo, yini abazali okumelwe bazimisele ukuyenza?
10 Kunesimo futhi lapho abazali nabantwana babo beba nobunzima khona ekuxhumaneni. ‘Ukukhulisa umntwana ngendlela eyakuba ngeyakhe’ kudinga ukwakha imizila yokuxhumana. Ukwenza kanjalo kuyosiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi ‘lapho esekhulile, akayikusuka kuyo.’ (IzAga 22:6) Ukuthi abanye abazali balahlekelwa abantwana babo baye ezweni ngezinye izikhathi kuhlangene negebe ekuxhumaneni elakheka phakathi nesikhathi sokuthomba. Isibopho sabazali sokuxhumana ngokuqhubekayo nabantwana babo siqokonyiswe kuDuteronomi 6:6, 7: “Lawamazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla ayakuba-senhliziyweni yakho, ubafundise impela wona abantwana bakho, uwakhulume lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni, nalapho ulala, nalapho uvuka.” Yebo, abazali kumelwe bachithe isikhathi benabantwana babo! Kumelwe bazimisele ukuzidela ngenxa yabantwana babo.
11. Yiziphi ezinye izinto abazali okumelwe bazitshele abantwana babo?
11 Bazali, tshelani abantwana benu ukuthi uJehova uyabathanda nokuthi nani niyabathanda. (IzAga 4:1-4) Benzeni bakubone ukuzimisela kwenu ukudela ukunethezeka nezinjabulo ngenxa yokukhula kwabo okungokwengqondo, okungokomzwelo, okungokomzimba, nokungokomoya. Okubalulekile kulokhu uzwela, okungukuthi, ikhono labazali lokubona izinto ngeso labantwana babo. Ngokubonisa uthando olungenabugovu, nina bazali ningakha isibopho esiqinile sobunye nabantwana benu futhi nibakhuthaze ukuba bathululele izifuba kinina kunokuba bazithululele kontanga yabo.—Kolose 3:14.
12. Kungani abasha kumelwe baxhumane nabazali babo ngokukhululekile?
12 Ngakolunye uhlangothi, basha, ninesibopho sokuxhumana nabazali benu. Ukwazisa lokho abaye banenzela khona kuyonisiza ukuba nibethembe. Niyaludinga usizo nokusekela kwabo, futhi kuyoba lula ukuba bakunikeze uma nixhumana nabo ngokukhululekile. Kungani nenza ontanga yenu umthombo wenu oyinhloko weseluleko? Laba cishe baye banenzela okuncane uma kuqhathaniswa nabazali benu. Njengani, abanakho okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni futhi uma bengeyona ingxenye yebandla, abanaso ngempela isithakazelo enhlala-kahleni yenu ehlala njalo.
Ukuxhumana Ebandleni
13, 14. Iziphi izimiso zeBhayibheli ezihilela ukuxhumana phakathi kwamaKristu?
13 Enye inselele iwukugcina imizila yokuxhumana nabafowenu ivulekile ebandleni. Sinxuswa ngokunamandla ukuba singakuyeki “ukuhlangana kwethu.” Sihlanganela yiphi injongo? “Ukuze kuvuswe uthando nemisebenzi emihle.” Lokhu kudinga ukuxhumana. (Heberu 10:24, 25) Uma othile ekucasula, lokho akusona neze isizathu sokungayi emihlanganweni. Gcina imizila yokuxhumana ivulekile ngokulandela isimiso seseluleko uJesu asinikeza sona njengoba silotshwe kuMathewu 18:15-17. Khuluma nalowomuntu onomuzwa wokuthi uyena okwenza ungajabuli.
14 Uma unenkinga nomunye wabafowenu, lalela iseluleko esingokomBhalo njengoba sitholakala kweyabaseKolose 3:13: “Nibekezelelane, nithethelelane, uma umuntu enensolo komunye; njengoba neNkosi yanithethelela, yenzani njalo nani.” Lokho kusho ukuxhumana esikhundleni sokwenqaba ukukhulumisa othile. Futhi uma kwenzeka uphawula ukuthi othile ubonakala engakujabuleli kahle, lalela iseluleko esitholakala kuMathewu 5:23, 24. Xhumana nomfowenu, futhi uzame ukwenza ukuthula naye. Lokhu kudinga ukuba ube nothando nokuzithoba, kodwa unesibopho kuwe ngokwakho nakumfowenu sokulalela iseluleko sikaJesu.
Iseluleko Nesikhuthazo
15. Kungani amaKristu kungamelwe ehluleke ukudlulisela iseluleko uma esesimweni sokwenza kanjalo?
15 Isibopho sokuxhumana sihilelekile futhi ekulaleleni iseluleko sikaPawulu esikweyabaseGalathiya 6:1: “Bazalwane, uma umuntu ehlelwa isiphambeko, nina-bomoya mbuyiseni onjalo ngomoya wobumnene; uzibheke wena, funa uyengwe nawe.” Isizotha kufanele sisenze samukele ukusibonisa kothile lapho senze khona iphutha enkulumweni yethu noma ekuziphatheni. Empeleni, sonke kufanele sibe nesimo sengqondo umhubi uDavide ayenaso lapho ebhala: “Olungileyo makangishaye, kungumusa kimi; angisole, kungamafutha ekhanda; ikhanda lami malingawenqabi.” (IHubo 141:5) Abadala ikakhulukazi kufanele babe izibonelo ezivelele zokuthobeka, bangaphoqeleli umbono womuntu siqu kodwa balungele ukwamukela ukulungiswa, bakhumbule ukuthi ‘amanxeba abangelwa umngane onothando athembekile.’—IzAga 27:6.
16. Luhlobo luni lokuxhumana izikhulumi eziseyintsha okufanele ziluthakazelele?
16 Kuyinkambo yokuhlakanipha nesizotha ngabasha ukuba bafune iseluleko nesiqondiso kumaKristu avuthiwe, lawo cishe ayobanikeza okuthile okwakhayo. Ngisho nabadala bangazuza ngalendlela. Ngokwesibonelo, enkulumweni yakhe omunye umdala wathi izibusiso okukhulunywa ngazo kusAmbulo 7:16, 17, eziphathelene nokungasalambi nokungasomi, zaziyizinto ezinye izimvu ezazingabheka phambili kuzo ezweni elisha. Nokho, kuye kwaphawulwa ukuthi lombhalo ngokuyinhloko usebenza esikhathini sanamuhla. (Bheka ethi IsAmbulo—Umvuthwandaba Waso Omkhulu Useduze!, amakhasi 126-8.) Umdala owayesezilalelini waba nomuzwa wokuthi kwakufanele ambonise lendaba, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba athole ithuba lokwenza kanjalo, isikhulumi ngokwaso sashaya ucingo futhi sacela noma yikuphi ukusikisela ngokuqondene nokuthuthukisa inkulumo yaso. Yebo, masenze kube lula ngalabo abangathanda ukusisiza ngokuxhumana nabo ngesifiso sethu sokuba selulekwe. Masingabi abacasuka kalula noma abashesha ukuzwela ngokungadingekile.
17. Ukuxhumana kungasiza kanjani ekwakheni abafowethu?
17 INkosi uSolomoni yakhuluma ngesimiso esingasebenza kahle engxoxweni yethu. Yathi: “Ungagodleli abaninikho okuhle, lapho kusemandleni esandla sakho ukukwenza.” (IzAga 3:27) Sikweleta abafowethu uthando. UPawulu wathi: “Ningabi-nacala lani nakubani, kuphela elokuthandana; ngokuba othanda omunye uwugcwalisile umthetho.” (Roma 13:8) Ngakho yiba ophanayo ngamazwi akho esikhuthazo. Ingabe inceku ekhonzayo eseyintsha inikeza inkulumo yayo yeningi yokuqala? Yituse. Ingabe udade uye wazama ngokuzikhandla noma wenza kahle kakhulu esabelweni sakhe seSikole SeNkonzo EsingokwaseZulwini? Mtshele ngendlela oyijabulele ngayo imizamo yakhe. Ngokwengxenye enkulu, abafowethu nodadewethu baphishekela ukwenza okungcono kakhulu futhi bayokhuthazwa izwi elinothando elinokwazisa.
18. Lapho kuboniswa ukuzethemba okweqile, yini okungaba umusa ukuyenza?
18 Ngokwehlukile, isikhulumi esisesincane singase sibe nekhono elikhulu, kodwa ngenxa yokuthi sisesincane, singase sibonise ukuzethemba okwengeziwe kunokuba kufanelekile. Luhlobo luni lokuxhumana obeluyodingeka lapha? Bekungeke yini kube okunomusa uma umdala ovuthiwe esitusa nganoma yimaphi amaphuzu amahle enkulumweni yaso, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngesineke asikisele izindlela esingahlakulela ngazo isizotha esikhathini esizayo? Ukuxhumana okunjalo bekuyobonisa uthando lobuzalwane futhi kusize abasebasha ukuba balahle izimo zengqondo ezimbi kusenesikhathi, ngaphambi kokuba zigxile.
19. Kungani abadala nezinhloko zemikhaya kufanele babe abaxhumanayo nabanye?
19 Abadala baxhumana bodwa kanye nebandla ngezinto ezizuzisayo—yebo, begwema ukudalula izindaba eziyimfihlo, njengalezo eziphathelene nezinkinga zokwahlulela. Nokho, ukuba ofihla kakhulu kuphumela ekungethembini nasekudumaleni futhi kungalimaza umoya ofudumele ebandleni—noma emkhayeni. Ngokwesibonelo, wonke umuntu uyakujabulela ukuzwa umbiko owakhayo. Njengoba nomphostoli uPawulu ayelangazelela ukudlulisela izipho ezingokomoya, kanjalo abadala kufanele bashisekele ukudlulisela ukwaziswa okwakhayo kwabanye.—IzAga 15:30; 25:25; Roma 1:11, 12.
20. Yisiphi isici sokuxhumana okuzoxoxwa ngaso esihlokweni esilandelayo?
20 Yebo, ukuxhumana kubalulekile kokubili ebandleni lobuKristu nasemkhayeni wamaKristu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile futhi nakwenye indawo. Kuphi? Enkonzweni yobuKristu. Esihlokweni esilandelayo, sizocabangela izindlela zokuthuthukisa amakhono ethu okuxhumana kulomsebenzi obaluleke kakhulu.
Ungaphendula Kanjani?
◻ Isithiyo esivamile esivimbela ukuxhumana emkhayeni singanqotshwa kanjani?
◻ Amadoda nabafazi bangahlangabezana kanjani nenselele yokuxhumana?
◻ Abazali nabantwana bangaligwema kanjani igebe lesizukulwane?
◻ Ukuxhumana emabandleni nasemikhayeni kungaba kanjani okwakhayo?
[Isithombe ekhasini 23]
Ukuxhumana okuhle kuthuthukisa inhlala-kahle yomkhaya nenjabulo