Ukududuza Abagulela Ukufa
“Lapho ngiqala ukuzwa ukuthi umama ugulela ukufa, kwakunzima ukukukholelwa. Ngangishaqekile, kunzima ukukwamukela ukuthi umama wayezokufa.”—UGrace waseCanada.
LAPHO kutholakala ukuthi othandekayo unesifo esibulalayo, umkhaya nabangane bacindezeleka kakhulu futhi bangazi ukuthi benzenjani. Abanye baye bazibuze ukuthi ingabe kufanele bamtshele iqiniso yini ogulayo ngesimo sakhe. Abanye bayangabaza ukuthi bayokwazi ukubekezelela ukubona othile abamthandayo ehlupheka futhi mhlawumbe ephelelwa yisithunzi ngenxa yemiphumela yokugula. Abaningi bakhathazeka ngokuthi ngeke bazi ukuthi bathini noma benzeni lapho umuntu esegulela ukufa.
Yini okufanele uyenze ukuze wazi indlela ongazamukela ngayo lezi zindaba ezibuhlungu? Futhi ungaba kanjani “umngane weqiniso,” ududuze futhi usekele phakathi nalesi sikhathi esicindezelayo?—IzAga 17:17.
Ukusabela Okungokwemvelo
Kungokwemvelo ukucindezeleka lapho othandekayo ehlaselwa yisifo esibi. Ngisho nodokotela, nakuba bebhekana nokufa njalo, bavame ukukhathazeka—baphele ngisho namandla—lapho bebhekene nezidingo ezingokomzimba nezingokomzwelo zabantu abagulela ukufa.
Nawe ungase ube nobunzima bokulawula imizwelo yakho lapho ubona othandekayo ehlupheka. UHosa, ohlala eBrazil futhi onodadewabo ogulela ukufa, uthi: “Kuyinto enzima kakhulu ukubona othile omthandayo ehlushwa yizinhlungu ezingapheli.” Lapho ibona udadewabo eshaywe uchoko, indoda ethembekile uMose yakhamuluka: “O Nkulunkulu, siyacela! Sicela umphulukise!”—Numeri 12:12, 13.
Sizizwa sicindezeleka ngosizi lothandekayo wethu ogulayo ngenxa yokuthi senziwe ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu wethu onozwela, uJehova. (Genesise 1:27; Isaya 63:9) UJehova uzizwa kanjani ngokuhlupheka kwabantu? Cabangela indlela uJesu asabela ngayo. Wabonakalisa ubuntu bukaYise ngokuphelele. (Johane 14:9) Lapho uJesu ebona abantu begula, “waba nesihawu” ngabo. (Mathewu 20:29-34; Marku 1:40, 41) Njengoba kushiwo esihlokweni esandulele salo magazini, lapho umngane wakhe uLazaru efa, futhi uJesu ebona indlela ukufa kwakhe okwawuthinta ngayo umkhaya wakhe nabangane, wakhathazeka ngokujulile futhi “wakhala izinyembezi.” (Johane 11:32-35) Yebo, iBhayibheli lichaza ukufa njengesitha futhi lithembisa ukuthi maduzane ukugula nokufa kuzodlula.—1 Korinte 15:26; IsAmbulo 21:3, 4.
Kuyaqondakala ukuthi ungase ufune ukusola othile—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngubani—ngezindaba ezibuhlungu zokuthi othandekayo ugulela ukufa. Nokho, uDkt. Marta Ortiz, owabhala umbiko ngendaba yokunakekela abagulela ukufa, unikeza lesi seluleko: “Kugweme ukusola abanye—odokotela, abahlengikazi, noma wena ngokwakho—ngesimo sogulayo. Lokhu kuyomane kwenze ubuhlobo bube muncu futhi bunenze nigxile kokunye ngaphandle kwesimo esibalulekile okufanele nikhathazeke ngaso: izidingo zomuntu ogulela ukufa.” Yiziphi izinyathelo ezingokoqobo ongazithatha ukuze usize othandekayo abhekane nokugula kwakhe nethuba lokuba afe?
Gxila Kumuntu, Hhayi Ekuguleni Kwakhe
Isinyathelo sokuqala ukubheka ngalé kwemiphumela yokugula futhi ugxile kumuntu. Ungakwenza kanjani lokho? USarah, ongumhlengikazi, uthi: “Ngizinika isikhathi sokubheka izithombe zogulayo lapho esenamandla. Ngiyamlalelisisa lapho engitshela izinto ezidlule. Lokhu kungisiza ukuba ngikhumbule ukuphila nomlando wogulayo futhi ngingagxili nje esimweni sakhe samanje.”
U-Anne-Catherine, naye ongumhlengikazi, uchaza indlela agxila ngayo ngalé kwezimpawu zomzimba zogulayo. Uthi: “Ngimbheka emehlweni lowo muntu, futhi ngigxila kulokho engingakwenza ukuze ngithuthukise isimo sakhe.” Incwadi ethi The Needs of the Dying—A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter ithi: “Kuvamile ukuzizwa uxakeke impela lapho ubona othandekayo exhwaliswe ukugula noma ingozi. Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ngaphansi kwalezo zimo ukubheka othandekayo emehlweni ubone ubuntu bakhe obungashintshi.”
Kuyavunywa ukuthi ukwenza kanjalo kudinga ukuzithiba nokuzimisela. UGeorges, ongumbonisi ongumKristu ovame ukuvakashela abagulela ukufa, ukubeka ngale ndlela: “Uthando lwethu ngomngane kumelwe lube namandla kunokugula.” Uma ugxila kumuntu kunasekuguleni kwakhe, uzizuzisa wena nothandekayo wakho. UYvonne, obenakekela izingane ezinomdlavuza, uthi: “Ukuqaphela ukuthi ungasiza abagulayo ukuba balondoloze isithunzi sabo kukusiza ukuba ubekezelele ukuwohloka kwabo ngokomzimba.”
Kulungele Ukulalela
Abantu bangase banqikaze ukuthintana nomuntu olengela egodini nakuba bemthanda kakhulu lowo muntu. Ngani? Bakhathazeka ngokuthi ngeke bazi ukuthi bazothini. Kodwa u-Anne-Catherine, obesanda kunakekela umngane obegulela ukufa, ubonisa ukuthi ukuthula kunendawo yako. Uthi: “Induduzo ayilethwa nje yilokho esikushoyo kodwa nayisimo sethu sengqondo. Ukudonsa isihlalo sihlale phansi, sisondele sibabambe ngesandla, singazibambi ekukhaleni lapho besitshela indlela abazizwa ngayo—konke lokhu kubonisa ukuthi siyabakhathalela.”
Othandekayo wakho kungenzeka ufuna ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngokwethembeka futhi angagwegwesi. Kodwa ngokuvamile ogulayo uyabona ukuthi abathandekayo abakhululeki futhi bayakugwema ukuxoxa ngezindaba ezingathí sina. Abangane nomkhaya abanezinhloso ezinhle nabo bangase bakugweme ukuxoxa ngezinto ogulayo akhathazeke ngazo, baze bamfihlele nokwaziswa okubalulekile okuphathelene nempilo yakhe. Uba yini umphumela wokuthula ngale ndlela? Udokotela othile osebenzelana neziguli ezigulela ukufa uchaza ukuthi umzamo odingekayo ekufihleni iqiniso “uniphuca amandla okugxila enqubweni ebalulekile yokusebenzelana nabanye nokubhekana nokugula.” Ngakho-ke, uma ogulayo ethanda, kufanele avunyelwe ukuba akhulume ngokukhululekile ngesimo sakhe noma ngethuba lokufa kwakhe.
Lapho zibhekene nokufa, izinceku zikaNkulunkulu zesikhathi esidlule zazingangabazi ukutshela uJehova uNkulunkulu indlela ezesaba ngayo. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho izwa ukuthi yayizokufa, iNkosi uHezekiya eneminyaka engu-39 yaveza ukuphelelwa kwayo yithemba. (Isaya 38:9-12, 18-20) Ngokufanayo, abantu abagulela ukufa kumelwe bavunyelwe ukuba baveze usizi lwabo ngokuzibona belengela egodini. Mhlawumbe bazizwa bekhungathekile ngenxa yokuthi abasenakuyifinyelela imigomo yabo, njengokuvakashela amazwe athile, ukuba nomkhaya, ukubona abazukulu bekhula, noma ukukhonza uNkulunkulu ngokugcwele. Mhlawumbe banovalo ngokuthi abangane namalungu omkhaya bazobashiya ngoba bengazi ukuthi benzenjani. (Jobe 19:16-18) Bangase bakhathazeke kakhulu ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlupheka, ukuphelelwa amandla omzimba, noma ukufa bebodwa.
U-Anne-Catherine uthi: “Kubalulekile ukuvumela umngane wakho ukuba aveze imizwa yakhe, ngaphandle kokumngena emlonyeni noma ukumahlulela noma ukululaza ukwesaba kwakhe. Kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokwazi indlela azizwa ngayo ngempela nokuqonda izifiso zakhe, ukwesaba, nalokho akulindele.”
Qonda Izidingo Eziyisisekelo
Usizi lomngane wakho, mhlawumbe olubhebhethekiswa yizinqubo zokwelapha ezihlukumezayo nemiphumela yazo, lungakukhathaza uze ukhohlwe isidingo sogulayo esiyisisekelo. Leso yisidingo sokuba azenzele izinqumo.
Emasikweni athile, umkhaya ungase uzame ukuvikela ogulayo ngokufihla iqiniso ngesimo sakhe, kuze kube seqophelweni lokungamhileli ezinqumweni eziphathelene nezokwelashwa. Kwamanye amasiko, kungase kuvele inkinga ehlukile. Ngokwesibonelo, uJerry, ongumhlengi, uthi: “Ngezinye izikhathi izivakashi zithambekele ekukhulumeni ngomuntu ogulayo ziphambi kombhede wakhe, njengokungathi akasekho.” Kunoma isiphi isimo, ukuziphatha okunjalo kuphuca ogulayo isithunzi.
Esinye isidingo yithemba. Emazweni okutholakala kuwo ukwelashwa okuhle, ngokuvamile ithemba lihlotshaniswa nokuthola ukwelashwa okuphumelelayo. UMichelle, osize unina amahlandla amathathu enomdlavuza, uyachaza: “Uma umama efisa ukuzama enye indlela yokwelashwa noma abone omunye uchwepheshe, ngiyamsiza ngocwaningo alwenzayo. Ngiyaqaphela ukuthi kufanele ngibhekane namaqiniso enhliziyweni yami kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ngikhulume amazwi akhuthazayo.”
Kuthiwani uma lingekho ithemba lokuthola ikhambi? Khumbula ukuthi umuntu ogulela ukufa uyakudinga ukukhuluma ngokufa ngokukhululekile. UGeorges, umbonisi ongumKristu ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungakufihli ukuthi ukufa sekusondele. Lokhu kusiza umuntu ukuba enze amalungiselelo afanele okulungiselela ukufa.” Amalungiselelo anjalo anganikeza ogulayo umuzwa wokugculiseka futhi adambise ukukhathazeka ngokuthi angase abe umthwalo kwabanye.
Yiqiniso, kungokwemvelo ukukuthola kunzima ukuxoxa ngalezi zindaba. Kodwa ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile kanjalo kukunikeza ithuba eliyingqayizivele lokuyiveza ngobuqotho imizwa yakho esekujuleni. Umuntu oselengela egodini angase afise ukulungisa ukungezwani kwangaphambili, asho indlela azisola ngayo noma acele intethelelo. Ukuxoxa ngalezi zinto kungathuthukisa ubuhlobo bakho nalowo muntu.
Ukumduduza Ezinsukwini Zokugcina
Ungamduduza kanjani umuntu oselengela egodini? UDkt. Ortiz, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Vumela ogulayo ukuba enze izicelo zokugcina. Lalelisisa. Uma kungenzeka, zama ukwenza lokho ogulayo akufunayo. Uma kungenandlela yokufeza isicelo sakhe, mtshele iqiniso.”
Kunanini ngaphambili, umuntu oselengela egodini angase afune ukuhlala ethintana nabantu ababaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwakhe. UGeorges wathi: “Siza ogulayo ukuba athintane nabo, ngisho noma izingxoxo zimfushane ngenxa yokuthi ogulayo uphelelwa amandla.” Ngisho noma kusocingweni kuphela, ukuxhumana okunjalo kunikeza ithuba lokukhuthazana nokuthandaza ndawonye. UChristina, owesifazane waseCanada owashonelwa abathandekayo abathathu belandelana, uyakhumbula: “Njengoba kwakusondela isikhathi sokuba bashone, babethembele kakhulu emithandazweni yabangane babo abangamaKristu.”
Ingabe kufanele wesabe ukukhala phambi kothandekayo wakho? Cha. Uma ukhala, unikeza umngane wakho ogulayo ithuba lokuba umduduzi. Incwadi ethi The Needs of the Dying ithi: “Kuthinta inhliziyo ngokujulile ukududuzwa umuntu olengela egodini, kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu kuye.” Ngokududuza abanye, umuntu osenesikhathi enakekelwa uyakwazi ukuqaphela ukuthi yena ungumngane okhathalelayo, ubaba, noma umama.
Kuyaqondakala ukuthi izimo zingase zikuthiye ekubeni nothandekayo wakho phakathi namahora akhe okugcina okuphila. Kodwa uma ukwazi ukuba nomngane wakho esibhedlela noma ekhaya, zama ukumbamba ngesandla kuze kube sekugcineni. La mathuba okugcina akunika ithuba lokuveza imizwa obungeke uyiveze ngokuvamile. Ungavumeli ukungasabeli kwakhe kukuncishe ithuba lokuvalelisa nokuzwakalisa uthando lwakho nethemba lokuphinde umbone ngovuko.—Jobe 14:14, 15; IzEnzo 24:15.
Uma uwasebenzisa ngokuhlakanipha la mathuba okugcina, cishe uyogwema ukuzisola kamuva. Empeleni, esikhathini esizayo, lezi zikhathi zokuthinteka okukhulu ngokomzwelo zingaba umthombo wenduduzo kuwe. Uyobe ubonisile ukuthi ungumngane weqiniso ‘esikhathini sosizi.’—IzAga 17:17.
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 27]
Ukugxila kumuntu kunasekuguleni kwakhe kuzuzisa wena nothandekayo wakho
[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 29]
Indlela Yokuhlonipha Isithunzi Sogulayo Emazweni amaningi, kwenziwa imizamo yokuhlonipha ilungelo lesiguli esinesifo esingalapheki lokuba sizifele ngokuthula nangendlela ehloniphekile. Iziqondiso ezibhalwe kusengaphambili ziwusizo ekuhlonipheni la malungelo futhi zivumele iziguli ukuba zifele emakhaya noma ezibhedlela.
Isiqondiso esikhishwe kusengaphambili siyofeza okulandelayo:
• Siyokhuthaza ukukhulumisana phakathi kodokotela nezihlobo
• Siyokhulula umkhaya ekwenzeni izinqumo
• Siyonciphisa amathuba okwelashwa okungafunwa, okungelona usizo, okuhlukumezayo nokubizayo
Isiqondiso esisebenzayo esikhishwe kusengaphambili sihlanganisa okungenani ukwaziswa okulandelayo:
• Igama lomuntu ongummeleli wakho kwezokwelapha
• Ukwelashwa ozokwamukela noma ukwenqabe uma ungasenakululama
• Uma kungenzeka, igama likadokotela okwaziyo ukwelashwa okukhethayo
[Isithombe ekhasini 26]
Gxila ekuphileni nasemlandweni wogulayo kunasesimweni sakhe samanje