Japta 30
?Mi Mi Rere Blong Mared?
MARED i no wan pleplei. God i wantem se man mo woman we i mared, tufala i mas stap tugeta olwe, mo tufala i mas besfren. (Jenesis 2:24) Wan woman no man we yu jusum blong mared wetem hem, hem i wan we yu mas glad blong stap wetem hem blong ful laef blong yu. !Sipos i no olsem, bambae yu harem nogud long ful laef blong yu!
I tru se, long evri mared i gat “wari mo trabol.” (1 Korin 7:28, The New English Bible) Be Marcia Lasswell, we i stadi long saed blong fasin blong yumi, i givim woning se: “I gat wan samting we mifala i savegud long hem, long saed blong ol mared we oli stanap strong longtaem. Hemia se, sipos tufala i mared taem tufala i yang tumas, samting ya bambae i mekem i had blong mared ya i stap longtaem.”
?From wanem mared blong plante we oli yangfala tumas i no save stap longtaem? Ating ansa blong kwestin ya i save soemaot sipos yu yu rere blong mared no nogat.
Wanem We Yangfala i Wantem
Wan gel we i no gat 20 yia yet, i talem se: “Mitufala i no bin save nating se mared i olsem wanem. Mitufala i bin ting se mared i wan samting we i isi nomo, mo se mitufala i save mekem wanem we mitufala i wantem, olsem livim ol doti plet oli stap. Be mared i no olsemia.” Plante yangfala oli gat tingting olsem pikinini long saed blong mared. Oli ting se mared i olsem drim blong lav we i stap long hed blong olgeta. No maet oli wantem mared, blong ol man oli luk olgeta olsem we oli bigman finis. Samfala oli mared from we oli wantem ronwe long ol trabol long haos, long skul, no long vilej blong olgeta. Wan gel i talem long boe we i promes finis blong mared long hem, se: “Bambae mi glad tumas taem yumitu mared. !Bambae mi no moa nidim blong mekem wan disisen!”
Be mared i no wan drim nomo, mo i no wan rod blong finisim olgeta trabol. Mared bambae i givim sam niufala trabol we yu mas winim. Gel ya Vicky we i karem faswan pikinini blong hem taem hem i gat 20 yia, i talem se: “Plante yangfala oli mared, from we i olsem wan pleplei nomo blong oli lukaot long wan haos mo pikinini. !Long tingting blong olgeta, bambae oli harem gud tumas long pleplei ya! Oli tingbaot wan pikinini olsem wan doli, wan samting we i naes tumas mo oli save pleplei wetem hem. Be mared i no olsem.”
Mo tu, plante yangfala oli gat wan narakaen tingting long saed blong seks. Wan boe we i mared taem hem i gat 18 yia, i talem se: “Afta we mi mi mared blong smoltaem, mi luk se filing ya blong harem gud blong slip tugeta, i no olsem fastaem, nao trabol i stat.” Wan stadi long saed blong ol yangfala we oli mared bifo we oli gat 20 yia, i soemaot se faswan samting we oli rao from, hemia mane, mo namba tu samting, hemia seks. I klia se trabol ya i kamaot from we, ol yangfala ya oli no wokem yet ol fasin we oli mekem man mo woman i harem gud blong slip tugeta, hemia fasin blong tingbaot narafala fastaem, mo fasin blong blokem samting we yumi nomo i wantem.—1 Korin 7:3, 4.
Baebol i givim waes advaes ya se, i moagud blong ol Kristin oli mared taem oli ‘pastru long yang taem blong olgeta finis.’ (1 Korin 7:36, NW) Sipos yu mared taem filing blong seks i strong tumas, bambae yu no save skelemgud ol samting, mo maet yu no save luk ol slak fasin blong gel no boe we bambae yu mared long hem.
Oli No Rere Blong Mekem Wok Blong Olgeta
Wan waef we i no gat 20 yia yet, i tokbaot hasban blong hem, se: “Naoia we mitufala i mared finis, hem i no moa intres long mi, jes long taem we hem i wantem slip wetem mi nomo. Hem i no ting se mi mi moa impoten long ol narafala fren blong hem. . . . Mi bin ting se bambae mi nomo mi impoten long tingting blong hem, be hem i trikim mi.” Yes, wan rong tingting we plante yangfala man oli gat, hemia: Oli ting se taem oli mared, oli save gohed blong folem fasin blong laef we oli bin folem bifo we oli mared.
Wan waef we i gat 19 yia, i tokbaot wan trabol we i stap kamaot oltaem long ol yangfala waef, i se: “Mi mi laekem moa blong lukluk televisin mo slip, i bitim we mi klinim haos mo kukum kakae. Mi mi sem taem papa mama blong man blong mi i kam long haos, from we oltaem haos blong tufala i klingud be haos blong mi i olbaot nomo. Mo tu, mi no save kuk nating.” !Yes, taem wan gel i no naf blong lukaotgud long haos mo kuk, samting ya i save mekem bigfala trabol i kamaot insaed long mared! Vicky (we yumi tokbaot finis) i talem se: “Mared i wan wok, i no wan pleplei. Lafet blong mared i pas finis, naoia tufala i mas fesem ol trabol blong laef evri dei. Samting ya i no isi.”
?Olsem wanem long wok blong winim naf mane evri dei blong sapotem wan famle? Mark we i hasban blong Vicky, i talem se: “Faswan wok blong mi, mi mas girap long 6 klok evri moning. Oltaem mi stap tingting se: ‘Hemia i hadwok ya. ?Bambae mi save spel samtaem?’ Mo tu, taem mi kambak long haos, i luk olsem se Vicky i no kasem save nating long ol trabol ya we mi mi stap fesem.”
Trabol Long Saed Blong Mane
Wan narafala trabol we i stap kasem ol yangfala we oli mared, hemia mane. Long fotieit mared blong ol yangfala we oli no gat 20 yia yet, oli talem se tri manis afta long mared, bigfala trabol blong olgeta hemia “fasin blong spenem mane.” !Afta we tri yia i pas, ol man mo woman long 37 long ol mared ya oli talem se mane i bigfala trabol yet long mared blong olgeta, mo i kam moa nogud i bitim fastaem! Bill i askem se: “?Olsem wanem yu save harem gud long laef, taem yu no gat naf mane blong pem ol samting we yu nidim blong mekem yu yu glad? . . . Taem mane i finis mo bambae yu no moa gat mane go kasem nekiswan pei, plante rao mo trabol oli save kamaot.”
Ol yangfala nao oli kasem moa trabol long saed blong mane, from we plante taem oli no save faenem wok, mo tu, pei blong olgeta i smol. Roy i talem se: “Mitufala i mas stap wetem papa mama blong mi from we mi mi no kasem naf mane blong pem ol samting blong mitufala. Samting ya i mekem plante trabol i kamaot bitwin long mitufala, speseli from we mitufala i gat wan pikinini finis.” Ol Proveb 24:27 i givim advaes ya se: “Fastaem yu mas wok strong blong planem garen blong yu, mo yu mas lukaot gud long hem, nao biaen, bambae yu save wokem haos blong yu.” Long taem blong Baebol, ol man oli bin wok strong blong sapotem waef mo ol pikinini blong olgeta. Tede plante yangfala we oli no lanem fasin ya yet, oli faenem se wok blong hasban i hevi tumas.
Be nating sipos man i stap kasem gudfala pei, bambae tufala i gat trabol long saed blong mane yet, sipos tufala i no tingting gud bifo we tufala i pem ol samting. Wan stadi i soemaot se “ol yangfala we oli no gat 20 yia yet, oli ting se oli mas pem evri samting wantaem, blong niufala famle blong olgeta. Be, maet papa mama blong olgeta oli bin wet plante yia blong kasem naf mane blong pem ol semfala samting ya.” Yes, plante yangfala we oli wantem ol sas samting naoia nomo, oli mekem bigfala kaon. Oli no gruap yet long tingting blong olgeta, taswe oli no save haremgud taem oli gat ‘kakae mo klos blong olgeta’ nomo. Olgeta nomo oli pulum trabol i kam long mared blong olgeta.—1 Timoti 6:8-10.
“Mitufala i No Gat Semfala Tingting”
Maureen i tingtingbak i talem se: “Mi bin harem se mi lavem Don tumas. Hem i naes mo i strong, hem i wan man blong spot mo ol narafala oli laekem hem . . . Mared blong mitufala i mas hapi.” Be no gat. Maureen i talem se, kros i kam antap gogo, “evri samting we Don i mekem, mi mi kros from. Mi kros long hem from ol smosmol samting tu, olsem taem hem i mekem noes wetem maot blong hem blong soem se hem i laekem kakae blong hem. Biaen, mitufala i seraot.” Mared blong tufala i brok afta tu yia nomo.
?Wanem stamba trabol blong tufala? Maureen i eksplenem se: “Mitufala i no gat semfala tingting long samting we mitufala i wantem long laef. Naoia mi mi luksave se, i moagud sipos mi bin mared wetem wan man we i gat semfala tingting olsem mi. Spot i bigfala samting long laef blong Don. Ol samting we oli impoten long tingting blong mi taem mi gat 18 yia, biaen oli nating nomo.” Plante yangfala oli gat tingting olsem pikinini long saed blong wanem kaen man no woman oli wantem mared long hem. Faswan samting we oli tingbaot se, naesfala bodi mo fes. Be, Ol Proveb 31:30 i givim woning se: “Gudfala fasin blong woman i save trikim man isi nomo, mo fes we i naes i no save stap longtaem.”
Skelem Yu Wan
Baebol i tokbaot man we i hareap blong mekem wan promes long God. Maet biaen nomo hem i jes tingtinggud, nao ‘hem i harem nogud from.’ (Ol Proveb 20:25) I moa gud blong skelem yu wan wetem Baebol bifo we yu mekem wan bigfala promes olsem promes blong mared. ?Long laef blong yu, wanem ol samting we yu yu wantem traehad from? ?Mared bambae i jenisim ol samting ya? ?Yu yu wantem mared jes from seks no from we yu wantem ronwe long trabol nomo?
?Mo tu, yu yu rere blong mekem bigfala wok blong hasban no waef? ?Yu yu naf blong lukaot long ol pikinini blong yutufala, mo blong winim naf mane blong givim ol samting we oli nidim? ?Sipos oltaem yu stap rao wetem papa mama blong yu, yu ting se bambae yu joengud wetem hasban no waef blong yu? ?Yu yu naf blong stanap strong taem yu kasem ol traem mo trabol we oli save kam wetem mared? ?Long saed blong mane, yu yu livim finis “fasin blong pikinini”? (1 Korin 13:11) Yes, papa mama blong yu, ating tufala nao i save talem stret sipos yu yu naf blong mared.
Mared i save givim bigfala glad, no i save mekem hat i soa bitim mak. Samting ya i dipen long yu, sipos yu rere blong mared no nogat. Sipos yu yu yang tumas, ating i gud blong wet smol bifo we yu gat wan boefren no gelfren. Sipos yu wet, samting ya i no save spolem yu. Yu yu nidim taem ya blong reregud from promes ya blong mared, mo blong mekem i stap longtaem.
Ol Kwestin Blong Tokbaot
◻ ?Long saed blong mared, sam yangfala oli gat wanem tingting we i olsem pikinini?
◻ ?From wanem i no stret blong mared from seks nomo?
◻ ?Wanem i soemaot se sam yangfala oli no rere blong mekem wok blong hasban no waef?
◻ ?From wanem plante yangfala we oli mared oli kasem bigfala trabol long saed blong mane?
◻ ?Wanem mastik we sam yangfala oli mekem taem oli jusum wan hasban no waef?
◻ ?Wanem ol kwestin we yu yu save ansarem blong luksave sipos yu rere blong mared? ?Naoia we yu ridim japta ya finis, yu ting se yu yu rere blong mared?
[Tok blong pija long pej 237]
Plante yangfala oli no naf blong mared, oli olsem tufala ya nomo
[Tok blong pija long pej 240]
“I gat wan samting we mifala i savegud long hem, long saed blong ol mared we oli stanap strong longtaem. Hemia se, sipos tufala i mared taem tufala i yang tumas, samting ya bambae i mekem i had blong mared ya i stap longtaem.”—Marcia Lasswell, we i stadi long saed blong fasin blong yumi