Ol Yangfala Oli Askem . . .

?Olsem Wanem Mi Save Haremgud Bakegen Afta We Papa i Ded?

“Papa blong mi i ded taem hem i slip long bed. Mi faenem hem long ples ya. Hem i kasem hat atak. Samting ya i mekem mi mi fraet tumas from we mi mi laekem hem tumas. . . . Mama i stap krae yet long naet. Naoia, mi no haremgud blong mekem ol wok, from we papa blong mi i no stap wok wetem mi.”—Emily.

KATHLEEN McCOY, we i wan woman blong raetem ol buk, i talem se: “Taem wan yangfala i lusum papa no mama blong hem, no wan memba blong famle blong hem long ded, hemia wan bigbigfala trabol long laef blong hem. Blong smoltaem, maet fasin blong harem nogud, fasin blong ting se hem i gat fol, fasin fraet, mo fasin kros, i mekem se boe no gel ya i safa tumas.” Sipos yu lusum papa no mama blong yu finis, ale yu savegud se fasin blong harem nogud ya i bigwan tumas.

Be, fasin ya blong harem nogud tumas taem hemia we yumi laekem tumas i ded, i oraet nomo. Baebol i talem se taem ol pikinini blong Jekob oli talem long hem se boe blong hem Josef i ded, hem i singaot bigfala, “i terem ol klos blong hem,” from i harem nogud tumas. Mo tu, nating se “ol narafala pikinini blong hem, wetem olgeta dota blong hem oli kam blong traem mekem hem i haremgud bakegen, be hem i no save haremgud.” (Jenesis 37:34, 35) Long sem fasin, maet yu harem se fasin blong yu blong safa i bigwan tumas, we neva bambae i lus.

Sloslou, bambae hem i save lus. Be bigfala samting blong mekem se nogud filing ya i lus, yu mas soemaot se yu harem nogud. Yu no mas traem blong haedem. Eksampel, yangfala John i no soemaot nating se hem i harem nogud taem wan memba blong famle blong hem i ded. Be hem i stat blong joen long ol faet long skul. John i eksplenem se: “Oltaem, mi stap wokbaot wetem samting olsem wan bigfala soa insaed long mi. Mi joen long ol faet blong traem winim soa ya, be rod ya i no wok.”

Sam nara yangfala, oli stap bisi oltaem blong traem blokem ol nogud filing ya. Samfala oli no wantem soemaot trufala filing blong olgeta taem ol narafala oli askem olgeta olsem wanem long filing blong olgeta, ale oli mekem olsem we oli glad, be oli stap gyaman. Fasin ya bambae i kavremap ol nogud filing blong smoltaem nomo, be i no blong longtaem. Proveb 14:13 i talem se: “Nating se man i laf, be hat blong hem i save harem nogud.”

Samting we yumi intres long hem se, wan haf blong wan magasin long saed blong ol yangfala, i talem se: “Long wan stadi oli faenemaot se, ol yangfala we oli haedem ol filing we oli stret nomo taem wan famle i ded, olsem sore, kros, mo filing ya se oli gat fol . . . oli joen plante long ol fasin we oli save spolem olgeta, olsem fasin nogud blong yusum drag mo alkol, ol fasin we oli denja tumas (olsem fasin blong spid long trak) mo fasin blong brekem loa.” Yumi glad se, i gat sam narafala rod we oli moa gud blong winim fasin blong sore from we wan i ded.

“Taem Blong Krae”

Eklesiastis 7:2 i talem se: “Sipos man i go long haos we ol man blong hem oli stap krae from wan dedman, fasin ya i moa gud, i bitim we hem i go long haos we oli stap mekem bigfala kakae long hem. From we olgeta man oli finis long ples ya. Mo man we i stap laef i mas tingtinggud long samting ya.” Ded i save mekem man i fraet. Mo taem wan fren no wan we yumi laekem tumas i ded, maet samfala oli “go long haos we oli stap mekem bigfala kakae long hem” mo laf, blong traem ronwe long fasin blong harem nogud we ded i mekem i kamaot long olgeta. Be Solomon i leftemap fasin ya blong no ronwe long fasin blong sore from dedman mo fasin blong “go long haos we ol man blong hem oli stap krae from wan dedman.” Solomon i ademap se: “Fasin blong harem nogud i moa gud bitim fasin blong laf: from we, fes we i kam nogud from i sore i mekem hat i kam moa gud.”—Eklesiastis 7:3, King James Version.

Nating se advaes ya i go fastaem long ol fren mo famle blong ol man we oli krae from dedman, i gud tu se man ya we i krae i no traem blong ronwe long fasin blong harem nogud taem wan i ded. I gat “wan taem blong krae.” (Eklesiastis 3:4) Olsem nao, ol man mo woman long taem blong Baebol we oli fraetgud long God, oli soemaot ol filing blong harem nogud, oli no haedem.—Lukluk Jenesis 23:2; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12.

Taem yu soemaot se yu harem nogud, samting ya i save givhan bigwan long yu. Buk ya The Art of Condolence i talem se: “Man we i lusum wan long ded, i mas filim ol soa mo fasin blong safa we hem i harem nogud from, i no mas blokem ol filing ya. Yu no save haremgud bakegen sipos yu stap traem blong haedem se yu harem nogud.” Be, sam yangfala boe, oli traem folem gyaman tingting ya se, ol trufala man oli no save krae. From samting ya, oli faenem se i had tumas blong soemaot filing blong olgeta. Be, man we i hae moa long olgeta man “i krae” long fes blong ol man, taem fren blong hem, Lasros i ded. (Jon 11:35) Mo i stret nomo we man i krae, taem hem i lusum papa no mama blong hem. Ale, yu no mas fraet blong krae. (Lukluk Jemes 4:9.) Buk ya Death and Grief in the Family i talem se: “Fasin blong krae i wan impoten rod blong tekemaot fasin blong harem nogud.”

Winim Fasin Blong Yu Blong Sore

Long taem blong Baebol, King Deved i krae from bes fren blong hem, Jonatan, i we i ded. Be hem i no krae nomo, hem i raetemdaon ol filing blong hem tu. Long ol tok blong talemaot sore, we Deved i kolem “Bow,” hem i raetem se: “Mi mi harem nogud tumas from yu, brata blong mi Jonatan, yu yu kaen tumas long mi.”—2 Samuel 1:18, 26.

Long sem fasin, maet yu faenem se i givhan bigwan, taem yu raetemdaon ol filing blong yu. Buk ya Giving Sorrow Words i talem se: “Fasin blong raetemdaon ol filing blong yu i save givhan blong soemaot ol filing we oli stap haed. . . . Taem yu kros, taem yu sore, yu raetemdaon.” Shannon, wan yangfala gel we yia blong hem i stap bitwin 13 mo 19, i talem se: “Mi gat wan buk blong raetemdaon ol impoten samting we oli hapen long laef blong mi. Ale, mi raetemdaon olgeta filing blong mi. Mi raetemdaon evriwan, we mi no haedem wan nating. Mi raetemdaon evri samting we oli stap long filing blong mi, mo samting ya i halpem mi bigwan . . . raetemdaon evri samting.”

Wan narafala samting we i save givhan, hemia eksasaes. Baebol i talem se: “Sipos yu stap mekem bodi blong yu i strong, hemia i gud.” (1 Timote 4:8) Mo, wan buk long saed blong fasin blong krae from dedman i talem se: “Eksasaes i wan gudfala rod blong mekem paoa i kamaot.” Fasin blong ronron, wokbaot strong, no blong ron long baskel i save givhan bigwan blong winim wari we i kasem yu taem yu sore mo yu stap krae from dedman.

Toktok Long Wan Man

Be lukaot, yu no mas stap yu wan nomo. (Proveb 18:1) Proveb 12:25 i talem se: “Wari we i stap nomo long hat blong wan man bambae i mekem hat i harem nogud, be gudfala toktok i mekem hat i glad.” ?Olsem wanem wan man we i harem nogud i save kasem “gudfala toktok” ya blong leftemap tingting blong hem? Hem i save kasem nomo sipos hem i toktok long wan man mo i talemaot “wari” blong hem. I gud yu yu mekem olsem. Yu no fraet, go toktok long wan man we yu trastem hem.

Oltaem, papa no mama blong yu we i fraetgud long God, hem nao yu mas go toktok wetem hem. ?Be olsem wanem sipos hem i harem nogud tumas, nao i no save halpem yu? Yes, olgeta we oli bigman long saed blong speret long Kristin kongregesen, oli save givhan long yu. Proveb 17:17 i talem se: “Wan trufala fren i soemaot lav oltaem nomo, mo hem i olsem wan brata we i rere blong givhan long taem blong trabol.” Afta we mama blong hem i ded, yangfala Morfydd i dipen bigwan long kongregesen blong ol Wetnes blong Jeova long ples blong hem. Hem i talem se, “Evri elda oli givhan bigwan long mi, be i gat wan we i rere oltaem blong lesin long mi.”

I gud yu traehad blong kasem help mo sapot olsem. Talem long wan man se yu nidim blong toktok. Maet yu kros, yu fraet, no yu harem se yu gat fol. No ating, yu harem se yu no gat fren mo yu sore we yu no moa gat papa no mama blong yu we i ded. Fasin blong tokbaot ol samting ya long wan man we i lesin wetem filing, i save givhan bigwan.

Givhan Long Papa No Mama Blong Yu

Be sam yangfala oli harem nogud moa taem oli traem blong karem ol hevi responsabiliti we oli no rere blong karem. Naoia, maet ol famle long haos oli olbaot olsem we oli no moa folem wan plan. Maet papa no mama we i laef i stap, i harem nogud, i kros—mo i sore. Ale, taem yu luk se hem i stap safa olsem, yu wantem givhan long hem. Wan woman we i gat save long saed blong fasin blong krae from dedman i talem se, “maet ol yangfala . . . oli blokem fasin blong krae, from oli gat rong tingting ya se, samting ya i save halpem papa no mama blong olgeta.” Maet oli “mekem wok blong ol ‘bigman’ we oli no naf blong mekem yet, mo ating oli tekem moa responsabiliti.”

I tru, maet i gat rod ya nomo we yu mas tekem sam moa responsabiliti from we papa no mama blong yu i ded. Be samting ya i no minim se yu yu hed blong famle. No gat. Papa no mama blong yu we i laef i stap, hem i hed yet long famle. Mo yu yu save givhan long hem moa sipos yu stap wok wanples wetem hem mo obeigud long hem, be i no blong traem tekem ples blong hem. (Efesas 6:1) Rimemba se “waes i stap wetem ol man we oli no flas.” (Proveb 11:2) Fasin ya we man i no flas i joen wetem fasin we man i savegud ol mak we hem i naf blong kasem.

I impoten tumas blong tingbaot samting ya sipos papa no mama blong yu we i laef i stap, i stat blong dipen long yu blong kasem advaes, no i givim plante wok blong ol bigman long yu. Yu wantem soem kaen fasin mo givhan long hem, be fasin ya blong savegud ol mak we yu yu naf blong kasem bambae i halpem yu blong luksave se ekspiryens blong yu i smol nomo. (Lukluk Hibrus 5:14.) Ale, sipos yu harem se ol wok oli hevi tumas long yu, wetem fasin respek, yu go stret long papa no mama blong yu, mo tokbaot bisnes ya. (Proveb 15:22) Maet yu save askem hem blong lukaot sam bigman long kongregesen blong givhan long hem long sam rod.

I no isi nating blong haremgud bakegen taem papa no mama blong yu i ded. Be yu mas save se, sloslou, bambae ol filing blong sore oli godaon. (Lukluk Jenesis 24:67.) Samtaem, ol tingting long saed blong papa no mama blong yu we i ded oli save kambak, mo bambae yu sore long hem bakegen. Be tu, i gat plante gudfala samting we yu save tingbaot blong mekem yu yu haremgud. Yu no mas foget se Jeova i kea long yu mo i kasem save long fasin blong yu blong sore. Taem yu harem se yu no gat fren mo se papa no mama blong yu i lego yu, tingbaot ol tok blong man blong raetem Ol Sam, se: “Papa mo mama blong mi, maet tufala i save lego mi, be yu, Hae God [Jeova], bambae yu stap lukaotgud long mi oltaem.”—Ol Sam 27:10.

Mo tu, tingbaot hop ya blong Baebol long saed blong fasin blong laef bakegen mo blong luk papa no mama blong yu bakegen—long wan paradaes wol. (Luk 23:43; Ol Wok 24:15) Yangfala Kim, wan gel we i lusum papa blong hem long ded, i talem se: “Evri dei mi tingbaot papa blong mi. Mi save se hem i wantem we mifala i no mas lego wok blong Jeova no letem wan samting i blokem mifala. Mi wantem stap taem hem i laef bakegen blong mi save welkamem hem.”—Jon 5:28, 29.

[Tok pija long pej 30]

Taem yu krae, samting ya i save givhan long yu blong haremgud bakegen