Kulimbana ndi Mavuto Obwela Cifukwa Colekana

“Ndinavutika maganizo kwambili. Umoyo unali kuoneka kuti ukuyenda bwino, koma mwadzidzidzi zinthu zinasintha kwambili.”—MARK,a amene watha caka cimodzi pambuyo polekana ndi mkazi wake.

“Mwamuna wanga anacita cigololo ndi mtsikana wa zaka zofanana ndi za mwana wathu. Pamene tinalekana, ndinamasuka cifukwa cakuti iye anali ndi khalidwe loipa, koma ndinadziona ngati wacabe-cabe ndipo ndinacita manyazi.”—EMMELINE, amene analekana ndi mwamuna wake zaka 17 zapitazo.

Anthu ena amathetsa cikwati cifukwa coganiza kuti zinthu zidzawayendela bwino. Ena amafuna kukhalabe m’cikwati koma mwamuna kapena mkazi wao amakana kuti cikwati cipitilile. Komabe, pafupi-fupi anthu onse amene alekana, pambuyo pake amaona kuti umoyo ndi wovuta kuposa mmene anali kuganizila. Ndipo ngati inu munalekana ndi mnzanu posacedwapa, mungaone kuti kulekana ndi vuto lalikulu kwambili. Conco, mungacite bwino kuganizila malangizo ena a m’Baibo amene angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi mavuto amene amabwela pambuyo pa kulekana.

VUTO LOYAMBA: MAGANIZO OFOOKETSA

Munthu angakhale ndi nkhawa kwambili cifukwa ca mavuto okhudza zacuma, kulela ana ndi kusowa woceza naye. Ndipo nthawi zina nkhawa imeneyi imatenga nthawi yaitali. Judith Wallerstein, amene anali katswili wa zamaganizo anapeza kuti anthu ena amene alekana amavutika maganizo kwa zaka zambili. Iwo amaona kuti mnzao anawacitila zacinyengo, ndipo amaganiza kuti “umoyo ndi wovuta, wopanda phindu ndiponso amakhala wosungulumwa.”

ZIMENE MUNGACITE

▪ Lilani kaamba ka zimene munataya. Nthawi zina mungasowe mnzanu wokhala naye. Ngakhale kuti mwina m’cikwati canu munali mavuto ambili, mungadzimvele cisoni cifukwa cakuti simunapeze cimwemwe cimene munali kuyembekezela. (Miyambo 5:18) Conco, musacite manyazi kulila.—Mlaliki 3:1, 4.

▪ Musadzipatule. Musakhale kwanokha nthawi yaitali cifukwa ca cisoni. (Miyambo 18:1) Muzikamba zinthu zolimbikitsa pamene mulankhula ndi mabwenzi anu. Pewani kudandaula nthawi zonse za mnzanuyo cifukwa kucita zimenezi kungapangitse kuti anthu azikupewani. Ngati mwalekana posacedwapa ndi mnzanu ndipo mufuna kupanga cosankha cacikulu, pemphani thandizo kwa munthu wina amene mumam’dalila.

▪ Muzisamalila thanzi lanu. Kawili-kawili, kuvutika maganizo cifukwa colekana kumayambitsa matenda monga BP kapena kuwawa kwa mutu. Motelo, muzidya mokwanila, kucita maseŵela olimbitsa thupi, ndi kugona mokwanila.—Aefeso 5:29.

▪ Cotsani zinthu zimene zimapangitsa kuti muyambenso kukhumudwa ndi mnzanuyo kapena zimene mulibe nazo nchito. Koma sungani makata ofunika. Ngati zinthu monga zithunzi-thunzi za pa cikwati zimakuwawitsani mtima, muyenela kuzikhomela pena pake ndi kuzisungila ana anu.

▪ Yesetsani kuthetsa maganizo ofooketsa. Olga, amene analekana ndi mwamuna wake kaamba kakuti mwamunayo anacita cigololo, anati: “Nthawi zonse ndinali kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi mkazi ameneyo ali ndi ciani cimene ine ndilibe?’” Koma iye pambuyo pake anazindikila kuti kuganizila zinthu zofooketsa nthawi zonse kungaswe mtima.—Miyambo 18:14.

Anthu ambili amaona kuti kulemba maganizo ao kumawathandiza kupewa maganizo ofooketsa. Inunso yesani kucita zimenezo, ndiyeno pezani maganizo ena olimbikitsa amene angalowe m’malo mwa ofooketsawo. (Aefeso 4:23) Ganizilani zitsanzo ziŵili izi:

Maganizo ofooketsa: Ndine amene ndinacititsa kuti iye acite zinthu mosakhulupilika.

Maganizo olimbikitsa: Ngakhale kuti ndimaphonya zinthu zina, iye sanafunikile kundicitila zinthu mosakhulupilika.

Maganizo ofooketsa: Ndinaononga nthawi yanga kukhala ndi munthu wosayenela.

Maganizo olimbikitsa: Kuti ndikhale wosangalala ndiyenela kuyang’ana za mtsogolo osati zam’mbuyo.

▪ Musalabadile mau okhumudwitsa. Mabwenzi ndi acibale anu amene amakufunilani zabwino angakuuzeni zinthu zina zokhumudwitsa kapena zabodza. Iwo anganene kuti: ‘Iye sanali woyenela kwa inu,’ kapena kuti ‘Mulungu amadana ndi kulekana.’b Ndiye cifukwa cake Baibo imatilangiza kuti: “Usamaganizile kwambili mau onse amene anthu amalankhula.” (Mlaliki 7:21) Martina, amene analekana ndi mwamuna wake zaka ziŵili zapitazo anati: “M’malo moganizila mau okhumudwitsa, ndimayesetsa kuona zinthu mmene Mulungu amazionela. Maganizo ake ndi apamwamba kuposa athu.—Yesaya 55:8, 9.

▪ Pemphelani kwa Mulungu. Iye amalimbikitsa olambila ake kuti ‘amutulile nkhawa zao zonse,’ maka-maka pamene akuvutika kwambili.—1 Petulo 5:7.

YESANI KUCITA IZI: Lembani pa pepala malemba a m’Baibo amene mungagwilitsile nchito ndi kuika pepalalo pa malo woonekela. Kuonjezela pa malemba amene tachula kale, anthu ambili amene analekana aona kuti malemba otsatilawa ndi othandiza: Salimo 27:10; 34:18; Yesaya 41:10; ndi Aroma 8:38, 39.

VUTO LACIŴILI: UBALE WANU NDI MWAMUNA KAPENA MKAZI WANU WAKALE.

Juliana, amene anakhala m’cikwati zaka 11, anati: “Ndinapempha mwamuna wanga kuti asacoke. Koma pamene anacoka, ndimukwiila kwambili ndipo ndinakwiilanso mkazi amene anatengana naye.” Anthu amene alekana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wao amakhalabe okwiya ndi mnzawoyo kwa zaka zambili. Komabe, kaŵili-kaŵili io amafunika kukambilana zinthu zina ndi mnzawoyo maka-maka ngati ali ndi ana.

ZIMENE MUNGACITE

▪ Citani zinthu mwaulemu ndi munthu amene munalekana naye. Kambilanani zinthu zokha zimene ndi zofunika ndipo citani zimenezi mwacidule ndi molunjika. Ambili aona kuti kucita zimenezi kumalimbikitsa mtendele pakati pa io ndi mnzao wakaleyo.—Aroma 12:18.

▪ Pewani kulankhula mau okhumudwitsa. Ngati mnzanu amene munalekana naye wakuuzani mau okhumudwitsa, muyenela kutsatila langizo la m’Baibo lakuti: “Aliyense wosalankhulapo mau ake ndi wodziŵa zinthu.” (Miyambo 17:27) Ngati mwasiyana maganizo, munganene kuti: “Lekani kuti ndikaganizile nkhaniyi coyamba, ndiyeno tidzakambilana nthawi ina.”

▪ Musamacite zinthu mogwilizana kwambili ndi munthu amene munalekana naye. Zimenezi zikuphatikizapo kukhala ndi makalata anu-anu a kubanki, a kuboma ndi a kucipatala.

YESANI KUCITA IZI: Ulendo wotsatia pamene mudzakambilana ndi mnzanuyo, mudzakhale wosamala ngati muona kuti mmodzi wa inu wayamba kudziikila kumbuyo kapena kuumilila maganizo ake. Mungamupemphe kuti mudzakambilanenso nthawi ina kapena mudzakambilane mwa kugwilitsila nchito kalata.—Miyambo 17:14.

VUTO LACITATU: THANDIZANI ANA ANU KUTI AZOLOWELE UMOYO WATSOPANO.

Maria, anafotokoza mmene zinthu zinalili pamene analekana ndi mwamuna wake. Iye anati: “Mwana wanga wang’ono anali kulila nthawi zonse, ndipo anayambanso kukodzela pogona. Mwana wanga wacitsikana anayesa kubisa mmene anali kumvela, koma ndinaona kuti nayenso anakhumudwa.” Nthawi zina mungaone kuti simupeza nthawi yokwanila yoceza ndi ana anu kuti muwalimbikitsa pamene akufuna kwambili thandizo lanu.

ZIMENE MUNGACITE

▪ Limbikitsani ana anu kuti akuuzeni mmene io akumvela, ngakhale kuti mwina angakambe zinthu “zopanda pake.”—Yobu 6:2, 3.

▪ Musapatse ana udindo waukulu. Nthawi zina mungafune munthu wina wokulimbikitsani ndipo ana anu angafune kucita zimenezo. Koma si bwino kupempha mwana kuti akuthandizeni pa mavuto ofunika anthu aakulu. (1 Akorinto 13:11) Pewani kudalila kwambili mwana wanu kuti azikulimbikitsani kapena kuti akhale ngati nkhoswe pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu amene munalekana naye.

▪ Muzisamalila bwino ana anu. Kukhala m’nyumba imodzi ndiponso kucitila zinthu pamodzi kumathandiza. Koma cofunika kwambili ndi kukhala ndi cizolowezi cocita zinthu za kuuzimu monga kuŵelenga Baibo ndi kucita kulambila kwa pabanja.—Deuteronomo 6:6-9.

YESANI KUCITA IZI: Mlungu uno, patulani nthawi yakuti muuze ana anu kuti mumawakonda ndiponso kuti io si amene anapangitsa cikwati canu kutha. Pamene muyankha mafunso ao, musaimbe mlandu mnzanu amene munalekana naye.

Mungathe kulimbana ndi mavuto amene amabwela pambuyo polekana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Melissa, amene anakhala m’cikwati zaka 16, anati: “Pamene tinalekana, ndinayamba kudandaula kuti, ‘Sindinafune kuti umoyo wanga ukhale wotelo.’” Koma iye ndi osangalala tsopano ngakhale kuti amakumana ndi mavuto. Iye anati: “Pamene ndinaleka kuganizila kwambili za m’mbuyo, zinthu zakhalako bwino pa umoyo wanga.”

[Mau apansi]

DZIFUNSENI KUTI . . .

▪ Kodi ndinalilako cifukwa cakuti cikwati cathu cinatha?

▪ Kodi ndingathetse bwanji mkwiyo umene ndili nao pa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga wakale?

[Cithunzi papeji 30]

Dalilani Mau a Mulungu kuti mupezenso mphamvu pa nthawi yovuta