Wanem Nao Sexual Assault?​—Part 2: Hao for Deal Witim Samting wea Happen

Wanem for duim sapos iu feel guilty from samting wea happen

Plande victim bilong sexual abuse barava feel shame long samting wea happen long olketa. Maet olketa tingse olketa nao kosim datwan for happen. Tingim example bilong Karen, wea age bilong hem distaem hem 19 year. Samwan spoelem hem saed long sex taem hem 6 year go kasem taem hem 13 year. Hem sei: “Samting wea mekem mi barava feel nogud nao hem wei wea mi feel guilty long samting wea happen. Mi savve tingting olsem, ‘Why nao mi letem hem for spoelem mi for longfala taem olsem?’”

Sapos iu ting olsem, tingim olketa samting hia:

• Olketa pikinini no redi saed long body or long feeling for duim sex. Olketa no really minim wanem nao sex, dastawe olketa no fit for disaed seleva sapos olketa shud duim datwan. So diswan minim olketa pikinini no kosim datwan for happen.

• Plande taem olketa pikinini savve trustim olketa bigman and no luksavve long olketa trik bilong rabis pipol, so datwan mekem hem isi for spoelem olketa. Datfala buk The Right to Innocence hem sei: “Pipol wea spoelem pikinini saed long sex, olketa savve tumas for konim pikinini and pikinini no luksavve long kleva trik bilong olketa.”

• Maet pikinini garem feeling for laek duim sex taem samwan abusim hem. Sapos datwan hem happen long iu taem iu pikinini, hem olsem bikos samwan nao tasim iu and hem nao mekem datfala feeling kamap. Hem no minim iu agree for letem hem abusim iu and hem no minim iu shud kasem blame for datfala abuse.

Tingim diswan: Tingim wanfala pikinini wea age bilong hem semsem witim age bilong iu taem samwan abusim iu. Tingim diswan, ‘Waswe, hem stret for blamem datfala pikinini sapos samwan spoelem hem saed long sex?’

Karen hem ting raonem datfala kwestin taem hem lukaftarem thrifala young pikinini. Wanfala pikinini hia hem klosap six year, wea hem nao age samwan start for abusim Karen. Karen sei: “Mi luksavve hao hem barava isi for samwan spoelem smol pikinini olsem, olsem hem isi for datfala man spoelem mi taem mi 6 year nomoa.”

Tru samting: Man wea spoelem iu nao hem guilty long samting wea happen. Bible sei: “Nogud man mas garem panis fo evri ravis samting wea hemi duim.”​—Esikiel 18:20.

Why hem gud for story witim samwan

Hem savve help sapos iu story witim wanfala adult wea iu trustim abaotem samting wea happen long iu. Bible sei: “Fren blong yu, hemi lavem yu olowe. Brata blong yu, hemi helpem yu long hadtaem.”​—Provebs 17:17.

Maet iu tingse hem moabeta for no storyim long narawan samting wea happen long iu. From iu no story long eniwan, maet iu feel olsem iu wakem wanfala wall raonem iu for protectim iu. Bat datfala wall wea iu wakem for protectim feeling bilong iu savve stopem iu tu for kasem help from eniwan.

Wanfala young woman, Janet, hem feel gud taem hem story long narawan abaotem abuse wea hem kasem. Hem sei: “Samwan wea mi savve long hem and wea mi trustim hem abusim mi taem mi smol pikinini, and mi no talem eniwan abaotem datwan for longfala taem. Bat taem mi story witim mami bilong mi abaotem samting wea happen, hem olsem wanfala big hevi nao hem aot from mi.”

Taem Janet hem ting abaotem samting wea happen long hem, hem luksavve why samfala savve fraet for story long narawan abaotem samting wea kasem olketa. Hem sei: “Hem barava no isi for pipol story abaotem abuse. Bat sapos mi no story long eniwan hem moa worse for mi. Hem moabeta for mi story abaotem samting wea happen winim wei for mi weit longtaem.”

“Taem hemi stap fo hilim man”

From samwan hem spoelem iu, maet datwan mekem iu feel nogud abaotem iuseleva. Maet iu tingse iu barava iusles nomoa or pipol interest long iu for duim sex nomoa. Bat datwan hem laea toktok and iu savve lusim kaen tingting olsem and kasem gud samting from datfala ‘taem for hilim man.’ (Eklesiastes 3:3) Wanem nao savve helpem iu?

Studyim Bible. Tingting bilong God hem stap long Bible and hem “garem paoa for aotem olketa samting wea strong tumas,” olsem tingting wea mekem iu feel iusles nomoa. (2 Corinth 10:​4, 5) Olsem example, readim and ting raonem olketa scripture hia: Aesaea 41:10; Jeremaea 31:3; Malakae 3:​16, 17; Luke 12:​6, 7; 1 John 3:​19, 20.

Prea. Taem iu feel iusles or guilty abaotem samting wea happen, prea long Jehovah and “givim go olketa wari blong iu long hem.’ (Sams 55:22) Bae hem helpem iu!

Olketa elder long kongregeson. Olketa elder hia kasem training for kamap “olsem wanfala strongfala sefples fo haed long hem from win an ren.” (Aesaea 32:2) Olketa savve helpem iu for garem gudfala tingting abaotem iuseleva and for lusim nogud tingting wea iu garem bifor.

Olketa gudfala fren. Tingim olketa man and woman wea showimaot gudfala example long kongregeson. Lukim wei wea olketa tingim each other. Gogo bae iu luksavve hao no evriwan mekius long paoa bilong olketa for spoelem man wea olketa sei olketa lovem.

Wanfala young woman, Tanya, hem lanem datfala important leson. Taem hem young pikinini, olketa difren man spoelem hem saed long sex. Hem sei: “Olketa man wea mi klos long olketa, olketa spoelem mi.” Bat gogo Tanya hem luksavve no evri man hem olsem, bat plande man showimaot trufala love. Hao nao hem luksavve long diswan?

Tingting bilong Tanya hem change taem hem fren witim wanfala hasband and waef wea showimaot gudfala example. Hem sei: “Mi lukim hao datfala hasband showimaot gudfala wei so no evri hasband hem duim rabis samting. Datfala hasband protectim waef bilong hem, and hem nao wanem God laekem.”a—Ephesus 5:​28, 29.