Ubufasha nyakuri bwagenewe umuryango

“Bihuje n’ukuri kuvuga ko muri Amerika, umuryan go ugeze aharindimuka. Nta wundi mwanzuro umuntu ashobora kugeraho, arebye umubare w’abashakanye batana, umubare w’abana b’ibinyendaro, [hamwe] n’abantu bagirira ibya mfura mbi abana babo hamwe n’abo bashakanye.”

AYO magambo yavuzwe n’uwitwa Tom Brokaw wo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika, utegura ibiganiro akanabitanga kuri televiziyo, ashobora no kwerekezwa ku bihugu hafi ya byose. Uko kuba umuryango ugeze aharindimuka bisobanura iki?

Mu buryo bwinshi, umuryango ni ibuye ry’ifatizo umuryango w’abantu muri rusange ushingiyeho. Iyo umuryango uri mu kaga, umuryango w’abantu bose muri rusange na wo uba uri mu kaga. Byongeye kandi, mu muryango ni ho abana babonera ibyo bakeneye byo mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo n’umutungo. Ni ho babonera amasomo y’ibanze kandi y’ingenzi cyane mu buzima. Niba umuryango uri mu kaga, ni ibiki abana baba barimo biga? Umutekano wabo se uba uri hehe? Nibakura bazaba abantu bameze bate?

Mbese, haba hari ubufasha runaka bwagenewe umuryango muri iki gihe cy’akaga? Yego rwose. Umuryango ni urwego Imana ubwayo yishyiriyeho (Itangiriro 1:27, 28). Kandi mu Ijambo ryayo Bibiliya, yatanze ubuyobozi bwa ngombwa bugenewe umuryango (Abakolosayi 3:18-21). Mu by’ukuri, ntidushobora guhindura umuryango w’abantu bose muri rusange uko wakabaye, ariko kandi mu muryango wacu bwite, dushobora gushyira mu bikorwa inama za Bibiliya. Twishimiye kukubwira ibihereranye n’abantu bamwe na bamwe babikoze, hamwe n’ingaruka nziza bagize.

Kwirinda Gutana

Mu bihugu byinshi, abantu bagera kuri 50 ku ijana bashyingiranwe bose, bagera aho bagatana. Ibyo bikaba bigaragaza gutsindwa mu rugero runini mu bihereranye n’imibanire y’abantu! Koko rero, ababyeyi benshi mu basigara barera abana batari kumwe n’abo bashakanye biturutse kuri iyo mpamvu, bahura n’akazi katoroshye ko kurera abana babo. Ariko kandi, nta gushidikanya ko abenshi bakwemera ko biba byiza kurushaho iyo abashakanye bashoboye gukemura ibibazo byabo, maze bakagumana.

Ishyingiranwa ry’umugabo n’umugore bo mu birwa bya Salomon ryari rigeze aharindimuka. Uwo mugabo, wari umuhungu w’umutware, yagiraga urugomo hamwe n’izindi ngeso mbi nyinshi. Umugore we yabonaga ubuzima bumukomereye cyane ku buryo yanagerageje kwiyahura. Hanyuma, uwo mugabo we yaje kwemera kwigana Bibiliya n’Abahamya ba Yehova. Yamenye ko umuntu wese ushaka kunezeza Imana atagomba gusa kumenya ikibi icyo ari cyo, ko ahubwo agomba no ‘kwanga ibibi’ (Zaburi 97:10). Ibyo bikubiyemo no kwanga ibintu runaka, urugero nko kubeshya, kwiba, urugomo n’ubusinzi. Ibyo yabishyize ku mutima, maze bidatinze atangira kwigobotora ingeso mbi yari afite hamwe n’umujinya we w’umuranduranzuzi. Umugore we yatangajwe n’ihinduka yagize, kandi ishyingiranwa ryabo ryarushijeho kuba ryiza cyane, bitewe n’ingaruka z’Ijambo ry’Imana.

Umugore umwe wo muri Afurika y’Epfo, akaba n’umwe mu Bahamya ba Yehova, yumvise ko umukoresha we n’umugabo we bateganyaga gutana. Uwo Muhamya yabwiye nyirabuja ibihereranye n’icyo Bibiliya ivuga ku ishyingiranwa, kandi amwereka igitabo gifite umutwe uvuga ngo Le secret du bonheur familial. Icyo gitabo cyanditswe n’Abahamya ba Yehova, cyibanda ku mahame ya Bibiliya arebana n’ishyingiranwa, kigatsindagiriza mu buryo bwihariye ukuntu Bibiliya ifasha abagabo n’abagore bashakanye gukemura ibibazo byabo. Uwo mukoresha n’umugabo we bombi basomye icyo gitabo, maze bihatira nta buryarya gushyira mu bikorwa inama za Bibiliya gitanga. Ibyo byatumye bafata icyemezo cyo kudatana​—iryo riba ribaye irindi shyingiranwa ryarokowe no gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya.

Amadini Atandukanye

Bite se ku birebana n’ishyingiranwa ririmo abashakanye bari mu madini atandukanye? Mu buryo buhuje n’ukuri, Bibiliya igira Abakristo inama yo gushaka “mu Mwami” gusa (1 Abakorinto 7:39). Icyakora, hari ubwo umwe mu bashakanye ahindura idini. Mbese, ibyo bigomba gutuma ishyingiranwa risenyuka? Oya rwose.

Umugore wo muri Botswana wari umaze igihe gito abaye umwe mu Bahamya ba Yehova, bamubajije icyo idini rye rishya ryari ryaramuhinduyeho. Yasabye umugabo we kumusubiriza, maze aravuga ati “kuva aho umugore wanjye abereye Umuhamya wa Yehova, nabonye ihinduka ryiza yagiye agira mu bintu byinshi. Ubu asigaye afite kamere ituje kandi irangwa n’ubwenge atari yarigeze agira mbere hose. We yagize imbaraga zo kureka kunywa itabi kandi aramaramaza rwose, nyamara jye iyo ngeso na n’ubu sindashobora kuyinesha. Umugore wanjye yarushijeho kunkunda no gukunda abana banjye, kimwe ndetse n’abandi bantu. Yarushijeho kuba umuntu worohera abandi, cyane cyane abana. Njya mbona amara igihe runaka mu murimo we agerageza gufasha abandi kuvugurura imibereho yabo. Nanone kandi ku rwanjye ruhande, nabonye ko hari ihinduka ryiza nagize. Ntekereza ko ibyo byose uko byakabaye byatewe n’urugero yagiye ampa.” Mbega ingaruka nziza amahame ya Bibiliya yagize kuri uwo muryango! Abantu benshi batari Abahamya, bagiye bavuga ibintu nk’ibyo ku bihereranye n’abo bashakanye b’Abahamya.

Mu Gihe Umubyeyi w’Umugabo Atita ku Nshingano Ze

Imishyikirano umubyeyi w’umugabo agirana n’abana be, ni urufunguzo rwo kubaka imiryango ikomeye. Intumwa Pawulo yatanze inama igira iti “namwe ba se, ntimugasharirire abana banyu, ahubwo mubarere, mubahana mubigisha iby’Umwami wacu” (Abefeso 6:4). Ku bw’ibyo rero, ntibitangaje kuba ingingo yo mu kinyamakuru cyitwa The Wilson Quarterly yaravugaga ko ababyeyi b’abagabo badasohoza inshingano zabo ari bo bagomba kuryozwa ibibazo byinshi bihereranye n’umuryango. Iyo ngingo yagize iti “hagati y’umwaka wa 1960 na 1990, ijanisha ry’abana batabana na ba se bababyaye ryikubye incuro zisaga ebyiri . . . Kuba ababyeyi b’abagabo baradohotse ku nshingano zabo, ni impamvu y’ingenzi iteza ibyinshi mu bibazo by’ingutu byugarije umuryango w’abatuye muri Amerika.”

Mbese, ibyo byaba bishaka kuvuga ko abana bafite ba se batabaha ubuyobozi, byanze bikunze nta cyo bazageraho? Oya. Umwanditsi wa kera wa Zaburi yagize ati “ubwo data na mama bazandeka, Uwiteka azandarura” (Zaburi 27:10). Umwana w’umuhungu wo muri Tayilande ufite imyaka icyenda, yiboneye ukuntu ibyo ari ukuri. Yapfushije nyina akiri uruhinja, maze kubera ko se atamushakaga, amusigira nyirakuru. Kubera ko uwo muhungu yumvaga atifuzwa kandi adakunzwe, yabaye icyigomeke kandi aba umuntu uhutaza abandi. Ndetse yanakangishaga nyirakuru kumugirira nabi. Ababwirizabutumwa babiri b’igihe cyose b’Abahamya ba Yehova, bamaze kubona ko yakundaga kuba ahagaze hanze y’Inzu y’Ubwami yabo, umunsi umwe baramutumiye ngo aze iwabo.

Bamubwiye ibihereranye n’Imana​—bamubwira ko imeze nk’umubyeyi w’umugabo, ikaba ikunda abana bayo. Nanone kandi, bamubwiye ibihereranye na Paradizo yo ku isi Imana yasezeranyije abantu bizerwa (Ibyahishuwe 21:3, 4). Ibyo byose byakoze uwo muhungu ku mutima, kandi yagiye agaruka buri munsi kugira ngo amenye byinshi kurushaho. Abo Bahamya bamubwiye ko niba mu by’ukuri ashaka ko Imana imubera Se, agomba kureka kuba umuntu uhutaza abandi. Ibyo byari bihuje n’amagambo Pawulo yabwiye Abaroma agira ati “niba bishoboka, mu rwanyu ruhande, mubane amahoro n’abantu bose” (Abaroma 12:18). Nanone kandi, yagombaga kubana neza na nyirakuru (1 Timoteyo 5:1, 2). Bidatinze, yatangiye gushyira amahame ya Bibiliya mu bikorwa​—nta gushidikanya, bikaba byaratumye imibanire ye na nyirakuru mu muryango irushaho kuba myiza (Abagalatiya 5:22, 23). Abaturanyi be batangajwe cyane n’ihinduka bamubonyeho, ku buryo na bo bifuje ko abana babo bakwigana Bibiliya n’Abahamya ba Yehova!

Kugira Umwuka w’Amahoro

Intumwa Pawulo yandikiye Abakolosayi iti “mwambare urukundo, kuko ari rwo murunga wo gutungana rwose. Mureke amahoro ya Kristo atwarire mu mitima yanyu” (Abakolosayi 3:14, 15). Umwuka w’amahoro hamwe n’urukundo ruvuye ku mutima, nta gushidikanya ko bizahuriza hamwe abagize umuryango. Kandi bishobora no gukemura amacakubiri amaze igihe kirekire yarashinze imizi mu muryango. Uwitwa Rukia, akaba atuye muri Alubaniya, yari amaze imyaka 17 atavugana na musaza we bitewe n’ubwumvikane buke bari bafitanye mu muryango. Igihe yiganaga Bibiliya n’Abahamya ba Yehova, yamenye ko buri mugaragu w’Imana asabwa kugirana n’abandi imishyikirano y’amahoro. Agomba ‘gushaka amahoro, akayakurikira.’​—1 Petero 3:11.

Rukia yabonye ko agomba gushaka amahoro hagati ye na musaza we. Yaraye asenga ijoro ryose, maze bukeye bw’aho ajya kwa musaza we, umutima udiha. Mwisengeneza wa Rukia yakinguye urugi maze amubaza atangaye cyane ati “uje gukora iki hano?” Rukia yamusubije atuje ko ashaka kubonana na musaza we, amusobanurira ko yifuza kwiyunga na we. Kubera iki? Ni ukubera ko noneho yabonaga ko ibyo ari byo Imana ishaka. Musaza we yabyakiriye neza, kandi kongera guhura kwabo kwaranzwe no guhoberana n’amarira y’ibyishimo​—uwo ukaba ari umuryango wongeye guhura bitewe n’uko amahame ya Bibiliya yakurikijwe.

Kwifatanya n’Ababi

Igitabo cyitwa The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families cyagize kiti “muri iki gihe, umwana ureba televiziyo mu rugero, ayireba amasaha arindwi buri munsi. Ajya kurangiza amashuri abanza amaze kureba ibikorwa by’ubwicanyi bisaga ibihumbi umunani, hamwe n’ibikorwa by’urugomo ibihumbi ijana.” Ni izihe ngaruka bene ibyo bintu bigira ku mwana? “Impuguke” ntizivuga rumwe kuri icyo kibazo, ariko Bibiliya yo itanga umuburo utajenjetse wo kutifatanya n’ababi. Urugero, igira iti “mugenzi w’abapfu azabihanirwa” (Imigani 13:20). Nanone kandi, igira iti “kwifatanya n’ababi konona ingeso nziza” (1 Abakorinto 15:33). Imibereho yo mu muryango ishobora kurushaho kumera neza turamutse tuzirikanye iryo hame tubigiranye amakenga, tukaribona ko ari ukuri, izo ncuti mbi zaba ari abantu buntu cyangwa abantu bo muri porogaramu za televiziyo.

Umubyeyi w’umugore wo muri Luxembourg yiganaga Bibiliya n’umwe mu Bahamya ba Yehova. Umunsi umwe yabwiye uwo Muhamya ko nimugoroba abana be babiri b’abakobwa, umwe w’imyaka irindwi n’undi w’imyaka umunani, bajya batongana cyane kandi bagakunda gushotorana. Uwo Muhamya yamubajije icyo abo bakobwa baba bakora nimugoroba. Nyina yasubije ko baba bareba televiziyo, mu gihe we aba arimo asukura igikoni. Ni izihe porogaramu baba bareba? Nyina yarasubije ati “hmm, ni inkuru zishushanyije.” Igihe uwo mushyitsi we yamubwiraga ko bene izo porogaramu akenshi ziba zirimo urugomo, uwo mubyeyi w’abo bakobwa yamusezeranyije ko azazikurikiranira hafi.

Ku munsi wakurikiyeho, uwo mubyeyi yavuze ko yaguye mu kantu abonye inkuru zishushanyije abana be barebaga. Zari zirimo ibisimba by’ibihimbano biteye ubwoba byaje bituruka mu kirere, bikaba byararimburaga icyo bihuye na cyo cyose mu buryo burangwa n’ubugome bwa kinyamaswa. Yasobanuriye abakobwa be ko Yehova yanga urugomo, kandi ko atishima iyo tureba bene ibyo bikorwa by’ubugome (Zaburi 11:5). Kubera ko abo bakobwa bashakaga gushimisha Yehova, bemeye kujya bashushanya utuntu runaka aho kureba televiziyo. Imyifatire yabo y’urugomo yahise ihinduka, kandi uwo muryango warushijeho kurangwa n’umwuka mwiza.

Izo ni ingero nke gusa zigaragaza ko gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya bituma imibereho yo mu muryango irushaho kuba myiza. Bibiliya itanga inama ku mimerere y’uburyo bwose. Ni izo kwiringirwa, kandi zigira ingaruka zikomeye mu gusunikira abantu gukora ibyiza (Abaheburayo 4:12). Mu gihe abantu bize Bibiliya kandi bakagerageza gushyira mu bikorwa ibyo ivuga nta buryarya, imiryango irakomera, abayigize bakarushaho kuba abantu beza, kandi amakosa akirindwa. Ndetse n’iyo umuntu umwe gusa mu muryango akurikije inama z’Imana, ibintu birushaho kuba byiza. Mu by’ukuri, mu mpande zose z’imibereho, tugomba kubona Ijambo ry’Imana nk’uko umwanditsi wa Zaburi yaribonaga, we wanditse agira ati “ijambo ryawe ni itabaza ry’ibirenge byanjye, ni umucyo umurikira inzira yanjye.”​—Zaburi 119:105.

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 5]

Ibibazo by’umuryango byagiye bikemurwa no gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya