Icyo wakora kugira ngo ugire ibyishimo mu muryango
Uko wafasha abana gusohoza inshingano zibareba
Georgea yaravuze ati “twari tumenyereye ko buri mugoroba, umuhungu wanjye witwa Michael ufite imyaka ine, asiga ibikinisho bye byandagaye mu nzu. Mbere y’uko ajya kuryama namusabaga kubanza gutunganya aho yabaga yanduje. Ariko wasangaga bimurakaza, akivumbura, maze agaturika akarira. Hari igihe ibyo byambabazaga maze nkamukankamira, ariko ibyo nta kindi byamaraga, usibye gutuma twembi twumva tubabaye. Kubera ko nashakaga ko twajya tujya kuryama twishimye, nahisemo kumwihorera, maze nkajya mpitunganyiriza.”
Emily yaravuze ati “igihe umukobwa wanjye witwa Jenny yari afite imyaka 13, yagiranye ikibazo na mwarimu we, bapfa umukoro wo ku ishuri. Ubwo Jenny yari avuye ku ishuri, yamaze isaha yose arira. Namugiriye inama yo kubibwira mwarimu kugira ngo amufashe, ariko ampakanira ambwira ko mwarimu we yari umuntu mubi, ku buryo yumvaga adashaka kumuvugisha. Numvise nahita njya ku ishuri, maze nkihaniza uwo mwarimu. Numvaga nta muntu n’umwe ufite uburenganzira bwo kumbabariza umwana.”
ESE ibyabaye kuri George na Emily, nawe byakubayeho? Kimwe n’abo babyeyi, hari abantu benshi batishimira kubona umwana wabo ahangayikishijwe n’ikibazo runaka, cyangwa atishimye. Ni ibisanzwe ko ababyeyi bumva barinda abana babo kugerwaho n’izo ngorane. Ariko kandi, ingero zavuzwe haruguru zigaragaza ko ababyeyi bafite inshingano yo kwigisha abana babo isomo rikomeye, ryo kumenya uko bajya basohoza inshingano zibareba. Birumvikana ko ibyo wakwigisha umwana ufite imyaka 4, bitandukanye n’ibyo wakwigisha ufite imyaka 13.
Icyakora, wagombye kumenya ko utazahorana n’umwana wawe kugira ngo umurinde ingorane ahura na zo mu buzima. Amaherezo, umwana aba azasiga se na nyina, maze ‘akiyikorerera uwe mutwaro,’ ari wo nshingano aba agomba gusohoza (Abagalatiya 6:5; Itangiriro 2:24). Kugira ngo ababyeyi bafashe abana kwirwanaho, bagomba kubigisha kuba abantu bakuze, batarangwa n’ubwikunde, bita ku bandi kandi basohoza inshingano zibareba. Icyakora, uwo ni umurimo utoroshye.
Igishimishije, ni uko ababyeyi bashobora kwigana Yesu, we wababereye urugero ruhebuje, kandi bakigana ukuntu yitaga ku bigishwa be. Yesu nta bana yagiraga. Ariko kandi, igihe yatoranyaga abigishwa be kandi akabatoza, yari agamije kubafasha gusohoza umurimo wo kubwiriza, ndetse n’igihe yari kuba atakiri ku isi (Matayo 28:19, 20). Ibyo Yesu yagezeho, ni byo buri mubyeyi wese aba yifuza kugeraho, mu gihe atoza abana be gusohoza inshingano zibareba. Reka dusuzume ibintu bitatu bigaragara mu rugero Yesu yahaye ababyeyi.
‘Muhe icyitegererezo’ abana banyu.
Igihe Yesu yari hafi gupfa, yabwiye abigishwa be ati “mbahaye icyitegererezo kugira ngo ibyo mbakoreye namwe muzajye mubikora” (Yohana 13:15). Ababyeyi na bo, bagombye gusobanurira abana babo icyo gusohoza inshingano bisaba, kandi bakabaha icyitegererezo.
Ibaze uti “ese ibyo mvuga bigaragaza ko nishimira gusohoza inshingano mfite? Ese ibyo mvuga bigaragaza ko nezezwa no gukora uko nshoboye kugira ngo mfashe abandi? Cyangwa akenshi nditotomba, kandi nkigereranya n’abandi basa n’aho babaho bitabagoye?”
Ni iby’ukuri ko nta muntu utunganye. Hari igihe twese twumva turemerewe. Ariko kandi, birashoboka ko urugero uha abana bawe, ari cyo kintu gikomeye cyabafasha kwibonera akamaro ko gusohoza inshingano zibareba.
GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Niba bishoboka, rimwe na rimwe ujye ujyana umwana wawe aho ukorera, maze umwereke uko ubigenza kugira ngo ubone amafaranga atunga umuryango. Nanone, ujye umujyana mu bikorwa byo gufasha abandi ashobora kwifatanyamo, maze nyuma yaho muganire ku byishimo mwaboneye muri icyo gikorwa.—Ibyakozwe 20:35.
Mujye mwitega ibintu bishyize mu gaciro.
Yesu yari azi ko kugira ngo abigishwa be bashobore gusohoza inshingano yari yarabahaye, byari gutwara igihe. Yigeze kubabwira ati “nari ngifite byinshi byo kubabwira, ariko ntimushobora kubisobanukirwa nonaha” (Yohana 16:12). Mu mizo ya mbere, Yesu ntiyahise asaba abigishwa be gusohoza inshingano yari yabahaye ari bonyine. Ahubwo, yamaranye na bo igihe kinini abigisha ibintu byinshi. Igihe yari amaze kubona ko noneho hari icyo bashoboye, ni bwo yabohereje kubwiriza ari bonyine.
Mu buryo nk’ubwo, ntibyaba bikwiriye ko ababyeyi basaba abana babo gusohoza inshingano z’abantu bakuru, kandi bakiri bato. Nanone kandi, uko abana bagenda bakura, ababyeyi bagombye kugena inshingano n’imirimo abana babo baba bashobora gukora. Urugero, ababyeyi bagomba kwigisha abana babo kugira isuku, bagasukura ibyumba bararamo, bakubahiriza igihe kandi bagakoresha neza amafaranga. Mu gihe umwana atangiye ishuri, ababyeyi be bagombye kwitega ko umwana wabo amenya ko umukoro wo ku ishuri ari inshingano y’ingenzi agomba gusohoza.
Ababyeyi ntibagomba guha umwana wabo inshingano gusa, ahubwo bagomba no kumufasha mu gihe yihatira kuzisohoza. Wa mubyeyi wavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi nkuru witwa George, yamenye ko imwe mu mpamvu zatumaga Michael asiga ibikinisho bye byandagaye, ari uko kubibika byamugoraga. Yaravuze ati “aho kumutonganyiriza kubika ibikinisho bye, namwigishije uko yajya abibika.”
Ni ibihe bintu byihariye yakoze kugira ngo amufashe? George yaravuze ati “mbere na mbere, nashyizeho isaha twari kujya tubikiraho ibikinisho buri joro. Hanyuma, nakoranaga na Michael, ngakora uruhande rumwe rw’icyumba, na we agakora urundi. Nabihinduye nk’umukino ku buryo twageze ubwo tujya turushanwa, tugatanguranwa kubitoragura. Ntibyatinze, maze tumenyera kujya dukora ako kazi mbere yo kuryama. Nasezeranyije Michael ko najya agira vuba, nzajya nongera igihe namaraga musomera inkuru mbere yo kuryama, ariko ko natinda nzajya nkigabanya.”
GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Genera buri wese mu bana bawe umurimo ashoboye gukora, ku buryo imirimo yo mu rugo ikorwa neza. Ibaze uti “ese haba hari imirimo ngikorera abana banjye, kandi bashobora kuyikorera?” Niba ari uko bimeze, jya uyikorana n’abana bawe kugeza igihe uzabona ko bashobora kuyikorera. Jya ufasha abana gusobanukirwa ko nibakora neza imirimo bahawe, bizabagirira akamaro, ariko ko nibayikora nabi bizabagiraho ingaruka. Hanyuma, ujye ubahana mu gihe bakoze nabi cyangwa ubahembe mu gihe bakoze neza.
Jya ubaha amabwiriza yumvikana neza.
Kimwe n’undi mwigisha mwiza wese, Yesu yari azi ko kugira ngo umuntu yige neza, agomba guhabwa uburyo bwo gushyira mu bikorwa ibyo yiga. Urugero, igihe Yesu yabonaga ko igihe cyari gikwiriye, yohereje abigishwa be kubwiriza ari “babiri babiri ngo bamubanzirize imbere, bajye mu migi yose n’ahantu hose yendaga kujya” (Luka 10:1). Icyakora ntiyapfuye kubohereza, kuko yabanje kubaha amabwiriza yumvikana neza (Luka 10:2-12). Igihe abigishwa be bagarukaga bakabwira Yesu ibyo bari bagezeho, yarabashimiye kandi abatera inkunga (Luka 10:17-24). Yabagaragarije ko yari abafitiye icyizere, kandi ko yishimiraga ibyo bakora.
Ese ubyifatamo ute iyo abana bawe bahawe inshingano, maze kuyisohoza bikabagora? Ese ugerageza kubarinda inshingano bumva ko batashobora, ugira ngo batababara cyangwa ngo bitabananira? Hari igihe uhita wumva ko icyiza ari ukubarinda gusohoza izo nshingano, cyangwa ugahitamo kuzisohoreza.
Icyakora, wagombye gusuzuma ibi bikurikira: ese igihe cyose wihutiye kurinda abana bawe kwikemurira ikibazo kibahangayikishije, ni iki uba ushaka kubereka? Ese uba ugaragaza ko ubafitiye icyizere, kandi ko hari icyo bashoboye? Cyangwa uba ubereka ko bakiri abana badashobora kugira icyo bimarira, ugomba gukorera buri kantu kose?
Urugero, ni gute Emily wavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi nkuru, yakemuye ikibazo umukobwa we yari ahanganye na cyo? Aho kugira ngo yivange muri icyo kibazo, yafashe umwanzuro wo kureka Jenny akaba ari we wivuganira na mwarimu. Emily na Jenny, bandikiye hamwe urutonde rw’ibibazo Jenny yagombaga kubaza mwarimu we. Hanyuma, barebeye hamwe igihe gikwiriye cyo kubimubwira. Bakiniye hamwe uko icyo kiganiro cyari kuba kimeze. Emily yaravuze ati “ibyo byafashije Jenny kugira ubutwari bwo kubwira mwarimu we ibibazo yari afite, kandi na mwarimu yarabimushimiye. Jenny yarishimye cyane, kandi nanjye byaranshimishije.”
GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Andika ikibazo umwana wawe ahanganye na cyo. Imbere y’aho wanditse icyo kibazo, uhandike icyo wakora kugira ngo umufashe kucyikemurira. Wowe n’umwana wawe mwitoze uko mwabigenza, hanyuma murebe intambwe z’ingenzi mwatera, kugira ngo mukemure icyo kibazo. Jya ugaragariza umwana ko umufitiye icyizere.
Niba uhora urinda abana bawe kwikemurira ibibazo, uzaba urimo upfukirana ubushobozi bwabo bwo guhangana n’ingorane. Igihe urera abana bawe, ujye ubafasha kwemera gusohoza inshingano zibareba. Nubigenza utyo, uzaba ubahaye impano y’agaciro iruta izindi zose.
a Amazina yarahinduwe.
IBAZE UTI . . .
Ese abana banjye mbitegaho ibintu bishyize mu gaciro?
Ese mbabwira icyo bakeneye gukora kugira ngo basohoze neza inshingano zibareba, kandi nkabereka uko babigenza?
Ni ryari mperuka gushimira umwana wanjye?