Khala Banja Ikufuna Kufudzika

1, 2. Kodi banja ingakhala pa nyatwa, ndi mbvunzo upi usafunika kucitwa?

MU CAKA 1988 nkazi unango wa ku Itália anacemerwa Lúcia akhali wakutsukwala kakamwe.a Pakumala piaka khumi banja yace ikhamala. M’midzidzi izinji iye ayesera kubverana papswa na mamunace, mbwenye pidaphata basa tayu. Natenepa nkazi unoyu amwalana na mamunace thangwi yakukhonda bverana mu uwiri wawo na cincino akuthimbana na nyatwa ya kukuza ekhene anace awiri acikazi. Mu kuyang’ana umaso wace wa n’nduli, Lúcia asakumbuka: “Ndikhali na cinyindiro kuti nee cinthu cibodzi mbicidapulumusa banja yathu.”

² Khala imwe muli na nyatwa pabanja, munakwanisa kubvesesa mabvero a Lúcia. Banja yanu ingakhale pa nyatwa panango mpaka imwe kukhonda khala na cinyindiro cakuti iyo nkhabe kwanisikabve. Khala ndi tenepo, pikhali pyadidi kutoma kudinga mbvunzo uyu: Kodi ine ndisatowezera uphungu udapereka Mulungu m’Biblya towera kuphedza banja kuti ipembere?​—Masalmo 119:105.

3. Maseze kumwalana kwakhala kwakudzolowereka, kodi mapfunziro apangiza tani mabvero a anyakumwalana azinji pabodzi na mabanja awo?

³ Kukhonda bverana kungakula pakati pa mamuna na nkazi, kumwalana kusaoniwa ninga njira yakukhonda nensa towera kumalisa nyatwa. Mbwenye, maseze kufudzika kwa mabanja kuthimizirike m’madziko mazinji, mapfunziro acincino asapangiza kuti anyakumwalana azinji ali akutsukwala thangwi ya pyenepi. Anyakumwalana azinji asathabuka na nyatwa za ungumi na za m’manyerezero, kupiringana ale anapitiriza m’mabanja mwawo. Nthonga pabodzi na kukhonda komerwa kwa ana a pabanja ya anyakumwalana kusapitiriza mu piaka pizinji. Anyakubala na axamwali a banja ya anyakumwalana asaonambo nyatwa. Kodi Mulungu, Ntomesi wa banja, asaona tani pinthu pyenepi?

4. Kodi nyatwa za m’banja zisafunika kutongwa tani?

⁴ Ninga mwaona kale m’makapitulu a ndulimu, cifuniro ca Mulungu ndi cakuti banja ikhale na umaso wakubverana kwenda na kwenda. (Genesi 2:24) Thangwi yanji, mphapo, mabanja azinji akufudzika? Pyenepi nee pisacitika mwandzidzidzi tayu. Kazinji kene pasakhala pidzindikiro pyakucenjeza. Nyatwa zing’ono m’banja zinakwanisa kuthimizirika kakamwe mpaka kuoneka ninga zakucimwanika kutongwa. Mbwenye nyatwa zenezi zingatongwa mwakucimbiza na ciphedzo ca Biblya, mabanja mazinji nkhabe kufudzika.

KHALANI NA CIDIKHIRO CAKULINGANIRA

5. Kodi ndi n’khaliro upi wandimomwene wakuti mabanja onsene asafunika kuthimbana nawo?

⁵ N’khaliro ubodzi wakuti unakwanisa kutsogolera ku nyatwa ndi cidikhiro cakukhonda linganira cakuti m’bodzi peno mu uwiri wa anyakumanga banja anakwanisa kukhala nawo. Mabukhu a nkhani za kufunana, marevista akudziwika, maprogramu a televizau pabodzi na mafilimu anakwanisa kupereka cidikhiro pabodzi na ndoto za pinthu pyakusiyana kakamwe na umaso wandimomwene. Ndoto zenezi zingakhonda citika, munthu anakwanisa kupibva ninga aphatiswa mwala, mbakhala wakukhonda komerwa, ngakhale wakupinda. Natenepa, kodi anthu awiri akusowa ungwiro anakwanisa tani kugumana utsanzayi pa banja? Pasafunika kuwangisira towera kukhala na uxamwali wakupembera.

6. (a) Kodi ndi maonero api akulinganira a pa banja anaperekwa m’Biblya? (b) Kodi ndi mathangwi api anango anacitisa kukhonda bverana m’banja?

⁶ Biblya isalonga pyandimomwene. Iyo isadzindikira kutsanzaya kwa banja, mbwenye isacenjezambo kuti ale anamanga banja “anadzaona nyatwa thangwi ya manungo awo.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Ninga pyalongwa kale, anyakumanga banja ndi anthu akusowa ungwiro na ali na cipendamiro cakufuna kucita madawo. Manyerezero, mabvero na makuziro a m’bodzi na m’bodzi mwa anyakusembana ndi akusiyana kakamwe. Anyakusembana m’midzidzi inango nkhabe bverana thangwi ya kobiri, ana na acibale. Ndzidzi wakucepa towera kucita pinthu pabodzi na nyatwa za kupita m’mabonde zinakwanisambo kucitisa nthonga pakati pa mamuna na nkazi.b Kutsalakana nkhani zenezi kusaphemba ndzidzi, mbwenye khalani wacipapo! Mabanja azinji asathimbana na nyatwa zenezi na asawangisira kuzimalisa mu uwiri wawo.

CEDZANI THANGWI YA KUKHONDA BVERANA

7, 8. Khala pana mabvero akuphesa ntima peno kukhonda bverana pakati pa anyakusembana, kodi ndi njira ipi ya Malemba isafunika kuphatisirwa?

⁷ Azinji asaona kukhala kwakunensa kumatama munacedza iwo pya mabvero akupha ntima, kukhonda bverana peno kudodomeka kwa munthu. Mbuto mwakulonga mwadidi kuti: “Ine sidabveserwa mwadidi tayu,” m’bodzi m’banja angaipirwa anakwanisa kuthimizira nyatwa ineyi. Azinji anadzalonga: “Imwe musatsalakanika mwekhene,” peno “Imwe nkhabe kundifuna.” Towera kucalira kunensana, panango m’bodzi wa m’banja anakwanisa kumatama pyace.

⁸ Njira yadidi kakamwe ndi kutowezera uphungu wa Biblya: “Ngakhala imwe mwazhangalira mwanzanu, lekani tawirisa kuzhangaliko kukuchitisani kuti mudawe, pontho lekani khala akupinda kufikirana kudoka kwa dzuwa.” (Aefesi 4:26, CC) Banja inango yakutsanzaya, pidafika iyo piaka 60 pyakusembana, abvunziswa kuti cibisobiso cawo ndi cipi towera kukhala na banja yakupembera. Mamuna atawira: “Tapfunza kuti nkhabe funika kwenda kagona mbatisati kumalisa pinthu pya kukhonda bverana, mwakukhonda tsalakana kucepa kwapyo.”

9. (a) Kodi ndi ninji pidadzindikirwa m’Malemba ninga khundu yadidi ya kucedza? (b) Kodi anyakusembana kazinji kene asafunika kucitanji, ngakhale pyenepi piphembe cipapo na kucepeseka?

⁹ Mamuna na nkazi angakhonda kubverana, mu uwiri wawo asafunika kuti ‘akhale akuchimbizisa na kubva, akudembuka na kulonga, akudembukambo na kuchita ukali.’ (Tyago 1:19) Pakumala kubvesera mwacidikhodikho, anyakusembana mu uwiri wawo asafunika kulekererana. (Tyago 5:16) Towera kulonga na ntima onsene kuti, “Ndilekerere thangwi ndakupindisa,” kusaphemba kucepeseka na cipapo. Mbwenye njira ineyi yakumalisa kukhonda kubverana inadzaphedza kakamwe anyakusembana, tayu towera kumalisa nyatwa zawo basi mbwenyembo towera kukulisa uxamwali wawo na kufunana kwawo kwakuti kunadzaacitisa kufuna kukhala pabodzi.

PEREKANI PINAFUNA NZANU WA M’BANJA

10. Kodi ndi citsidzikizo cipi cidapereka Paulu kwa Akristu a ku Korinto cakuti cinakwanisa kuphatisirwambo kwa Akristu lero?

¹⁰ Pakulembera Akorinto, mpostolo Paulu alonga pya kumanga banja “gopa kuchita pya lukwali.” (1 Akorinto 7:2) Makhaliro a dziko ya lero ndi akuipa kakamwe, ngakhale akunyanyisa, kupiringana a ku Korinto wakale. Makhaliro a pya ulukwali akuti anthu a kudziko asaalonga pakweca, mabvaliro awo akukhonda kuthema pabodzi na pithankano pyakuipa pinagumanika m’marevista na m’mabukhu, mu televizau na mafilimu, pyonsene pisacitisa cilepelepe ca kufuna kupita m’mabonde. Kwa Akorinto akhakhala m’makhaliro akulandana, mpostolo Paulu alonga: “Kumanga banja [nkhwadidi] kupita kupya mu ntima.”​—1 Akorinto 7:9.

11, 12. (a) Kodi ndi mangawa api ali na mamuna na nkazi mu uwiri wawo, na asafunika kulipwa tani mangawa anewa? (b) Kodi ndi makhaliro api asafunika kutsalakanwa khala pinafuna nzanu m’banja pyatoma kulimiriswa mu ndzidzi wakucepa basi?

¹¹ Na thangwi ineyi, Biblya isapereka matongero kwa Akristu adamanga banja: “Mamuna apite na nkazache mabonde, nkazi apitembo na mamunache.” (1 Akorinto 7:3) Onani kuti pyenepi pisagomezera kupasa​—tayu kukakamiza. Pinafuna nzanu m’banja pinakwanisa kukwaniriswa mwakutsanzayisa khala m’bodzi mwa anyakumanga banja asatsalakana ukhali wadidi wa nzace. Mwacitsanzo, Biblya isapereka matongero kwa amuna towera kutsalakana akazi awo “mwanzeru.” (1 Pedro 3:7, CC) Unoyu ndi undimomwene pakulonga pya kupasa na kutambira pinafuna nzanu m’banja. Khala nkazi nee asatsalakanwa mwakufuna, iye anaona kukhala kwakunensa kutsanzaya na pinthu pyenepi m’banja.

¹² Pana midzidzi inango yakuti anyakusembana anakwanisa kukhonderana pinthu pya m’banja pinafuna zace. Pyenepi pinakwanisa kucitika kwa nkazi m’midzidzi inango nkati mwa nthanda peno khala ali wakuneta kakamwe. (Landanisani Levitiko 18:19.) Pinakwanisa kucitikambo kwa mamuna khala ali kuthimbana na nyatwa ikulu kubasa na khala aneta kakamwe. Njira yadidi towera kulekererana thangwi ya kukhonda kupasaa pinthu pya m’banja pinafuna nzanu mu ndzidzi unoyu wakucepa ndi kucedza mwakucena ntima mu uwiri wanu na “kubverana pyadidi.” (1 Akorinto 7:5) Pyenepi pinadzatsidzikiza anyakusembana kukhonda khala na manyerezero akuipa kwa unango na nzace. Khala nkazi asakhondesa mamunace mwakufuna peno mamuna asacimwana mwanyakhomo kupasa pinafuna nkazi wace mu njira yakufuna, m’bodzi mwa anyakusembana anakwanisa kukhala pa ngozwi ya kuyeserwa. Makhaliro anewa anacitisa nyatwa m’banja.

13. Kodi Akristu anakwanisa tani kukhala na manyerezero akucena?

¹³ Mwakulandana na Akristu onsene, atumiki a Yahova adamanga banja asafunika kucalira kuona maprogramu anapangiza ucipezipezi, akuti anakwanisa kucitisa pifuno pyakuipa na pyakukhonda khala pyacibaliro. (Akolose 3:5) Iwo asafunikambo kucita mphole-mphole na manyerezero awo pabodzi na macitiro awo pakulonga peno pakucita pinthu na anthu akusiyana piwalo. Yezu acenjeza: “Munthu anayanganisa nkazi mbansirira, achita naye kale upombo mu ntima mwache.” (Mateo 5:28) Pa kuphatisira uphungu wa m’Biblya unalonga pyakupita m’mabonde, anyakusembana anakwanisa kucalira kuyeserwa na kucita upombo. Iwo anakwanisa kupitiriza kukhala akutsanzaya na banja yawo mwakuti kupita m’mabonde ndi kwakutawirika ninga muoni wakulemedzeka wakubulukira kwa Ntomesi wa banja, Yahova.​—Misangani 5:15-19.

PHATA YA BIBLYA TOWERA KUMWALANA

14. Kodi ndi n’khaliro upi wakutsukwalisa wakuti usaoneka m’midzidzi inango? Na thangwi yanji?

¹⁴ Mwakukomeresa, mabanja mazinji Acikristu asakwanisa kutsalakana nyatwa zonsene zinaoneka kwa iwo. M’midzidzi inango pyenepi nkhabe citika. Nakuti anthu ndi akusowa ungwiro na asakhala mu dziko yakuipa yakuti iri pantsi pa utongi wa Sathani, mabanja anango asafudzika. (1 Jwau 5:19) Kodi Akristu anakwanisa tani kuthimbana na makhaliro anewa?

15. (a) Kodi ndi ipi phata ibodzi basi ya Malemba towera kumwalana na kumanga papswa banja? (b) Thangwi yanji anango asakhonda kumwalana na nzawo adacita upombo m’banja?

¹⁵ Ninga pyafokotozwa kale mu kapitulu 2 ya bukhu ino, upombo ndi phata ibodzi basi ya Malemba inatawirisa kumwalana na kumanga papswa banja.c (Mateo 19:9) Khala imwe muli na umboni wakuti nzanu acitadi upombo, muli na cisankhulo cakunensa kakamwe towera kucita. Kodi munapitiriza na banja ineyi peno munamwalana? Nkhabepo miyambo ya pyenepi. Akristu anango alekerera na ntima onsene anzawo adadawa mbatcinyuka, na banja yawo yapitiriza kukhala pyadidi. Anango asakhonda kumwalana thangwi ya ana.

16. (a) Kodi ndi pinthu pipi pinacitisa kuti anango amwalane na nzawo wa m’banja adadawa? (b) Khala nyakusowa thangwi pa banja atonga kumwalana peno nkhabe, thangwi yanji anango nkhabe funika kusumula?

¹⁶ Ku khundu inango, macitiro akuipa anewa anakwanisa kubweresa nthenda zakupasirana peno kukhala na mimba. Panango panyumba ana asafunika kutsidzikizwa ku usumankha wa pyakupita m’mabonde. Mwapakweca, pana pinthu pizinji pyakuti pisafunika kudingwa mbamusati kucita cisankhulo. Natenepa, khala imwe mwadzindikira kuti nzanu acita upombo mbwenye buluka penepo mbumupita naye m’mabonde, mukupangiza kuti mwamulekerera na mwatonga kupitiriza kukhala naye pabanja. Mu njira ineyi, phata ya Malemba towera kumwalana na kumanga papswa banja nkhabe phatabve basa. Nkhabepo munthu anafunika kupitira mu nkhani ineyi na kuyesera kunyengerera cisankhulo canu, nee m’bodzi asafunika kusumula cisankhulo cidacita imwe. Imwe mwekhene munadzathimbana na nyatwa za pinthu pidasankhula imwe. ‘Thangwi munthu m’bodzi na m’bodzi anadzathukula ntolo wace.’​—Agalata 6:5, NM.

MATHANGWI TOWERA KULEKANA

17. Khala nee m’bodzi acita ulukwali m’banja, kodi ndi ninji pinakhondesa Malemba kwa anyakulekana peno anyakumwalana?

¹⁷ Maseze m’bodzi mwa anyakusembana hadacita ulukwali tayu, kodi pana mathangwi anango anatawirisa kulekana peno kumwalana? Inde, mbwenye pyenepi nee pisatawirisa tayu kuti mamuna peno nkazi asembe peno kusembwa na munthu unango. (Mateo 5:32) Ngakhale Biblya isatawirisa kulekana kweneku, iyo isapereka matongero akuti munthu adalekana asafunika ‘kukhala ekhene peno kusekerana’ panango abverane pontho. (1 Akorinto 7:11) Kodi ndi makhaliro api akuipa kakamwe akuti angacitise kukhala kwadidi kulekana?

18, 19. Kodi ndi makhaliro api akuipa kakamwe akuti mamuna peno nkazi anakwanisa kunyerezera kulekana peno kumwalana, ngakhale kuti nkhabe tawiriswa kumanga papswa banja?

¹⁸ Ande, banja inakwanisa kutcerenga thangwi ya kupolola peno nsambo wakuipa wa mamuna.d Panango iye anakwanisa kubvunga kobiri ya banja na kugwa masenzekero a kobiri peno kugula mitombwe yakuledzeresa peno pyakumwa pyakuledzeresa. Biblya isalonga: “Ngakhala munthu anakhonda kutsalakana anthu . . . a ku nyumba kwache, uyu aleka kutawira kwache, iye ndi wakuipa kupita njentiyu.” (1 Timoti 5:8) Mamuna unoyu angakhonda kucinja njira zace, panango kufika pa kubvunga kobiri ya nkazi wace towera kupitiriza na nsambo wace, nkazi anakwanisa kulekana na mamuna unoyu mwakubverana na mwambo towera akwanise kutsidzikiza pinthu pyace pabodzi na pya anace.

¹⁹ Kulekana kweneku mwakubverana na mwambo kunakwanisambo kuphatisirwa khala m’bodzi m’banja ndi wausumankha kakamwe, panango kufika pakumenya nzace wa m’banja mpaka kuikha pangozwi ungumi ngakhale umaso wace. Mwakuthimizira, khala mamuna peno nkazi kazinji kene asakakamiza nzace wa m’banja kuswa mitemo ya Mulungu mu njira zinango, nyakucitirwa pyenepi anakwanisa kusankhula kulekana, makamaka khala asaikha umaso wauzimu pa ngozwi. Nyakuoneswa nyatwa anakwanisa kucita cisankhulo ca kulekana mwakubverana na mwambo towera “kutawira maka Mulungu, kupita kutawira anthu.”​—Machitiro 5:29.

20. (a) Pakufudzika kwa banja, kodi axamwali akukola na akulu a mpingo asafunika kuperekanji na ndi ninji pyakuti iwo nkhabe funika kupereka? (b) Anyakusembana nkhabe funika kuphatisira nkhani za m’Biblya zakulonga pya kulekana na kumwalana towera kutunira kuti anacitanji?

²⁰ Mu pyakucitika pyonsene pya usumankha m’banja, nkhabe munthu anafunika kukakamiza nzace wakusowa thangwi m’banja towera kulekana peno kupitiriza kukhala pa banja. Ngakhale axamwali akukola pabodzi na akulu a mpingo apereke ciphedzo na uphungu wakubulukira m’Biblya, mphyakucimwanika kuti iwo adziwe pinthu pyonsene pinacitika pakati pa mamuna na nkazi. Yahova basi ndi anakwanisa kuona pyenepi. Mwandimomwene, nkazi Wacikristu angasaka mathangwi akutunira towera kukhonda banja, iye nee asalemedza masasanyiro a banja adatomesa Mulungu tayu. Mbwenye khala makhaliro akugopswa asapitiriza, nkhabe munthu asafunika kusumula nkazi khala iye asankhula kulekana na mamunace. Pinthu pibodzi pene pinakwanisa kuphatisirwambo kwa mamuna Wacikristu khala asasaka kulekana na nkazi wace. “Ife tonsene tinakhala ntsiku ibodzi pa maso pa Mulungu, towera iye atonge miseru yathu.”​—Aroma 14:10, MZ.

KODI BANJA YAKUFUDZIKA YAKWANISA TANI KUMANGWA PONTHO

21. Kodi ndi cakugumana naco cipi cinapangiza kuti uphungu wa Biblya usaphata basa pabanja?

²¹ Pakupita nthanda zitatu Lúcia, adalongwa kale pakutoma, mbadamala kale kulekana na mamunace, iye aonana na Mboni za Yahova na atoma kupfunza Biblya. Iye alonga: “Pidandidzumisa kakamwe ndi pyakuti m’Biblya mukhali na midida yakuphata basa towera kumalisa nyatwa zanga. Pakumala sumana ibodzi basi mbindiri kupfunza Biblya, ndafuna mwakucimbiza kubwererana na mamunanga. Lero ndinakwanisa kulonga kuti Yahova asadziwa kumalisa nyatwa za m’banja thangwi mapfunzisiro ace asaphedza anyakusembana kupfunza kuti anakwanisa tani kulemedzana m’banja. Si pyandimomwene tayu, pinalonga anthu anango, kuti Mboni za Yahova zisamwaza mabanja. Ku khundu yanga, pyacitika pinthu pyakusiyana.” Lúcia apfunza kuphatisira midida ya Biblya mu umaso wace.

22. Kodi anyakusembana asafunika kunyindiranji?

²² Pyenepi pidacitikira Lúcia basi tayu. Banja isafunika kukhala nkhombo tayu ntolo. Ndi thangwi yace Yahova apereka phata yadidi kakamwe ya uphungu wa banja kupiringana phata inango yonsene​—Mafalace akufunika. Biblya inakwanisa ‘kupasa udziwisi anausowa.’ (Masalmo 19:7-11) Iyo yapulumusa anyakusembana azinji akuti akhatoma kulekana na yaphedza anango akuti akhali na nyatwa zikulu. Anyakusembana onsene asafunika kunyindira kakamwe uphungu unapereka Yahova Mulungu. Mwandimomwene iwo usaphata basa!