Kgwetlho Ya Go Nna Motlhokomedi

“KA DINAKO tse dingwe ke ne ke eletsa gore nkabo ke kgona go tila seemo seo. Lefa go ntse jalo, o ne a ntlhoka fela thata. Ka dinako tse dingwe ke ne ke ikutlwa ke latlhegile.”—Jeanny yo o neng a fetsa dikgwedi tse 18 a oka monna wa gagwe wa dingwaga tse 29 pele ga a bolawa ke tlhagala mo bobokong.a

“Go na le dinako tse ka tsone ke ikutlwang ke serwa ke Mama, mme go tswa foo ke bo ke itenegela. Ke ikutlwa ke paletswe fa ke sa kgone go itshokela seemo sentle.”—Rose wa dingwaga tse 59, yo o neng a tlhokomela mmaagwe wa sekoa yo o dingwaga tse 90 yo o neng a aga a letse fela mo bolaong.

Fa motho a tsenwa ke bolwetse jo bo koafatsang kana jo bo sa foleng seo se ka dira gore ba lelapa le ditsala ba hutsafale thata. Jeanne Munn Bracken o bolela jaana mo bukeng ya Children With Cancer: “Ka nako ya fa go setse go lemogilwe bolwetse, lelapa lengwe le lengwe le ikutlwa le latlhegile. Ba ka nna ba bo ba sa itse motho ope yo o kileng a nna le bothata joo.” Gape, go le gantsi ba ka “gamarega e bile ba sa dumele,” fela jaaka go ile ga diragalela Elsa fa a ne a utlwa gore tsala ya gagwe e kgolo Betty, yo o dingwaga tse 36 o tshwerwe ke kankere. Sue, yo rraagwe a neng a lwala o ile a utlwa “a segwa” ke mala fa a utlwa gore rraagwe o ne a tlile go bolawa ke kankere.

Ba lelapa le ditsala ba ka nna ba iphitlhela fela ka tshoganetso ba tshwanelwa ke go nna batlhokomedi—ba tlamela molwetse ka dilo tse a di tlhokang mo mmeleng le mo maikutlong. Go ka nna ga tlhokega gore ba mo apeele dijo tse di otlang, ba ele tlhoko gore o nwa melemo, ba mo rulaganyetse sepalamo go ya ngakeng, ba itisatise le batho ba ba etetseng molwetse, ba kwalele molwetse makwalo le dilo tse dingwe tse dintsi. Gantsi ba tshwanelwa ke go pateletsa go dira dilo tseno tse di fitlhelang ba setse ba na le tse dingwe tse dintsi go di dira.

Lefa go ntse jalo, fa maemo a molwetse a ntse a nnela maswe go ya pele, tiro ya go mo tlhokomela e simolola go tlhoka motho go le gontsi. Seno se ka akaretsa eng? “Sengwe le sengwe!” Elsa o tlhaeletsa jalo a bua ka tsala ya gagwe Betty yo o neng a letse mo phateng. “Go mo tlhapisa le go mo jesa, go mo thusa fa a kgwa, go tsholola kgetsana ya gagwe ya motlhapo.” Le mororo Kathy a ne a bereka tiro ya malatsi otlhe, o ne a tshwanelwa ke gore a tlhokomele mmaagwe yo o lwalang. Sue, yo o umakilweng pelenyana, a re o ne a “ela tlhoko themperetšha [ya ga rraagwe] le go e kwala morago ga sephatlo sengwe le sengwe sa ura, a tla a mo phimola fa a gotela thata le go mo fetola diaparo le dilo tsa bolao morago ga diura dingwe le dingwe di sekae.”

Tsela e e molemo e molwetse a tlhokomelwang ka yone e ikaegile thata ka botsogo jo bo molemo jwa yo o mo tlhokometseng. Lefa go ntse jalo, gantsi batho ba tlhokomologa maikutlo le dilo tse di tlhokwang ke yo o tlhokometseng molwetse. Fa tiro ya motlhokomedi e ne e dira gore a sale a tshwerwe ke mokwatla le go opelwa ke magetla, goo ka bogone fela go ne go tla e dira thata. Lefa go ntse jalo, fela jaaka bontsi jwa batlhokomedi ba tla dumalana, gantsi ba dira tiro eo ya go tlhokomela mongwe ba tla ba amega maikutlo ka tsela e e botlhoko thata.

“Go ne Ga Ntlhabisa Ditlhong Tota”

The Journals of Gerontology e bega jaana: “Gangwe le gape dipatlisiso di na le go tlhalosa tlalelo e motho a nnang le yone ka ntlha ya go se itshware sentle [ga molwetse], go itshwara ka tsela e e tlhabisang ditlhong le go bua mafoko a a bogalaka.” Ka sekai, Gillian o tlhalosa se se neng sa direga fa tsala nngwe e ne e batla go itse mmaagwe yo o godileng thata kwa dipokanong tsa Bokeresete. Gillian o gakologelwa jaana a hutsafetse: “Mama o ne a mo tadinya fela a bo a sa re sepe. Go ne ga ntlhabisa ditlhong tota ga ba ga dira gore ke lele.”

Joan yo monna wa gagwe a koafalang tlhaloganyo a re: “Ke selo se go leng thata tota go se itshokela. Go mo dira gore a se ka a ela tlhoko maitsholo a gagwe. Fa re dutse re ja le batho ba bangwe, ka dinako tse dingwe o fitlhela a ya kwa ditafoleng tse dingwe mo phaposing ya bojelo, a kgotlha jeme a bo a busetsa leswana le a kgotlhileng ka lone mo sejaneng sa jeme. Fa re etela baagelani, o fitlhela a kgwela mathe mo tselaneng ya mo tshingwaneng. Ga ke kgone go itebatsa kgang ya gore batho ba bangwe ba ka nna ba bo ba bua dilo tseno tse a di dirang e bile gongwe ba akanya gore ruri ga a na maitsholo a a siameng. Ke na le go ikutlwa ke tsitsibana mmele tota.”

“Ke ne Ka Boifa Gore Fa re Se Kelotlhoko . . .”

Go tlhokomela moratwa yo o lwalang thata e ka nna selo se se boifisang thata. Motlhokomedi a ka boifa se se ka diregang fa bolwetse bo ntse go etegela pele—gongwe e bile a boifa gore moratwa yoo o tla swa. Gape a ka boifa gore ga a ne a nna le nonofo kana bokgoni jwa go thusa molwetse ka tsotlhe tse a di tlhokang.

Elsa o tlhalosa selo se se neng se mo boifisa jaana: “Ke ne ke boifa gore nka tloga ka utlwisa Betty botlhoko mo mmeleng mo go neng go tla gakatsa pogisego ya gagwe, kana gore nka tloga ka dira sengwe se se neng se tla khutshwafatsa botshelo jwa gagwe.”

Ka dinako tse dingwe selo se molwetse a se boifang se ka boifisa le motlhokomedi. Sue o dumela seo a re: “Rre o ne a boifa gore o tla kgangwa mme ka dinako tse dingwe seo se ne se mo dira gore a tshoge thata. Ke ne ka boifa gore fa re se kelotlhoko, o tla kgangwa, mme ka jalo, ka simolola go boifa sone selo se a neng a se boifa thata.”

“O ka Hutsafadiwa ke go Gopola Tsela e ba Neng Ba le Ka Yone Pele”

Caring for the Person With Dementia e bolela jaana: “Khutsafalo ke selo se gantsi se tlelang batho ba ba tshwanetseng go tlhokomela moratwa yo o lwalang bolwetse jo bo sa foleng. Fa bolwetse jwa gagwe bo ntse bo gakala, go dira dilo mmogo le botsala jo o neng o bo tsaya bo le botlhokwa di ka go latlhegela. O ka hutsafadiwa ke go gopola tsela e ba neng ba le ka yone pele.”

Jennifer o tlhalosa kafa lelapa la gaabo le neng la amiwa ka teng ke tsela e bolwetse bo neng bo koafatsa mmaagwe ka yone jaana: “Re ne re utlwa botlhoko thata. Re ne re tlhoafalela tsela e a neng a tlhola a tlotla monate ka yone. Re ne re hutsafetse tota.” Gillian o a tlhalosa: “Ke ne ke sa batle mmè a swa e bile ke ne ke sa batle a boga. Ke ne ke nnela go lela.”

“Ke ne Ke Ikutlwa ke sa Batliwe, Ke Shakgala”

Motlhokomedi a ka ipotsa jaana: ‘Ke eng fa seno se ne se tshwanetse go diragalela nna? Ke eng fa batho ba bangwe ba sa nthuse? A ga ba bone gore ga ke kgone? Ke eng fa molwetse a sa leke go nna tirisanommogo go sekae?’ Ka dinako tse dingwe, motlhokomedi a ka galefa thata ka ntlha ya go ikutlwa gore molwetse le ba bangwe mo lapeng ba mo batla dilo di le dintsi e bile e le ka tsela e e sa akanyetseng. Rose, yo o umakilweng kwa tshimologong, a re: “Gantsi ke a itenegela—mo pelong. Lefa go ntse jalo Mama a re seo se iponatsha mo sefatlhegong sa me.”

Motho yo o tlhokomelang le ene a ka bolaisiwa pelo le go galefesiwa ke tsone dilo tse di tshwenyang molwetse. Mo bukeng ya Living With Cancer, Dr. Ernest Rosenbaum o tlhalosa gore balwetse bangwe “ka dinako tse dingwe ba ka tlelwa ke kgalefo le khutsafalo e ba e kgwelang mo mothong ope fela yo o gaufi le bone . . . Kgalefo eo e bonala fa ba tenwa ke dilo tse di sa reng sepe tse mo maemong a a siameng fela molwetse a se keng a itshwenya ka tsone.” Go a utlwala he gore seno se tla sera baratwa ba molwetse ba ba lekang go dira gotlhe mo ba ka go kgonang go mo tlhokomela.

Ka sekai, Maria o ne a dira tiro e e molemo tota ya go oka tsala ya gagwe e e neng e swa. Lefa go ntse jalo, gangwe le gape tsala ya gagwe e ne e lebega e kgopisega motlhofo le go mo akanyetsa ka tsela e e sa siamang. Maria o a tlhalosa: “O ne a tle a bue dipuo tse di tlhabang, a le mabifi a tlhabisa baratwa ba gagwe ditlhong.” Seo se ne sa ama Maria jang? “Ka nako eo motho a ka lebega a ‘tlhaloganya’ molwetse. Lefa go ntse jalo, fa ke ne ke go akanyetsa sentle, ke ne ke ikutlwa ke sa batliwe, ke shakgala, ke sa tlhomamisege—e bile ke sekamela mo go ikgogoneng go mmontsha lorato lo a lo tlhokang.”

Patlisiso nngwe e e phasaladitsweng mo The Journals of Gerontology e ne ya konela ka go re: “Maemo a ka dira gore motlhokomedi a galefe thata [e bile] ka dinako tse dingwe a ka dira gore a dirise dikgoka kana a batle go dira jalo.” Babatlisisi ba ile ba lemoga gore mo e ka nnang motlhokomedi a le 1 mo go bangwe le bangwe ba le 5, o boifa gore a ka nna a tloga a dirisa dikgoka. Mme ba ba fetang 1 mo go ba le 20 tota ba kile ka nako nngwe ba dirisa dikgoka mo balwetsing ba bone.

“Ke Ikutlwa ke le Molato”

Batlhokomedi ba le bantsi ba tshwenngwa ke go ikutlwa ba le molato. Ka dinako tse dingwe ba ikutlwa jalo morago ga gore ba shakgale—ke go re, ba ikutlwa ba le molato ka gonne ba tle ba galefe ka dinako tse dingwe. Maikutlo a a ntseng jalo a ka ba fekeetsa thata go fitlha ba ikutlwa gore ba ka se kgone go tswelela ka tiro ya bone.

Ka dinako tse dingwe, ga go sepe se sengwe se se ka dirwang fa e se fela gore molwetse a isiwe kwa setheong sengwe kana kwa bookelong go ya go tlhokomelwa gone. Seo e ka nna tshwetso e e ngomolang tlhogo e e ka tshwenyang maikutlo a motlhokomedi. Jeanne a re: “Fa kgabagare ke ne ke patelesega go isa Mama kwa legaeng la tlhokomelo, ke ne ke ikutlwa e kete ke a mo tlhanogela, ke a mo latlha.”

E ka ne molwetse o robaditswe kwa bookelong kana nnyaa, baratwa ba gagwe ba ka ikutlwa ba le molato wa gore ga ba mo direle ka botlalo sentle. Elsa o ne a re: “Gantsi ke ne ke hutsafadiwa ke go bo ke se na nako e e lekaneng. Ka dinako tse dingwe tsala ya me e ne e sa batle ke tsamaya.” Gape motho a ka tlhobaediwa ke gore o tlhokomologile maikarabelo a mangwe a lelapa, segolobogolo fa motlhokomedi a fetsa nako e ntsi thata kwa bookelong kana a tshwanelwa ke go bereka diura tse di oketsegileng gore a kgone go duelela dikoloto tse di ntseng di oketsega. Mmè mongwe o ne a bua jaana ka khutsafalo: “Ke tshwanetse go bereka gore ke thuse ka go duelela ditshenyegelo, lefa go ntse jalo, ke ikutlwa ke le molato ka gonne ke sa kgone go tlhokomela banake sentle.”

Ga go na pelaelo gore batlhokomedi ba tlhoka go engwa nokeng fela thata, segolobogolo morago ga loso lwa yo ba neng ba mo tlhokomela. Dr. Fredrick Sherman wa kwa Huntington, kwa New York a re: “Maikarabelo a me a magolo thata [morago ga loso lwa molwetse] . . . ke go thusa batlhokomedi gore ba se ka ba nna le maikutlo a go ipona molato a gantsi ba se keng ba bua ka one.”

Fa motlhokomedi a tswelela pele fela ka go loba maikutlo ano, a ka mo gobatsa a bo a gobatsa le molwetse. Jalo he, ke eng se motho yo o tlhokomelang mongwe a ka se dirang go fenya maikutlo a a ntseng jalo? Mme ke eng se ba bangwe—ba lelapa le ditsala—ba ka se dirang go ba thusa?

[Ntlha e e kwa tlase]

[Lebokoso mo go tsebe 5]

Se Ba Tlhaetse Matlho!

“RE A itse gore 80% tsa batho ba ba tlhokomelang batsofe mo gae ke basadi,” go rialo Myrna I. Lewis, yo e leng porofesa yo e leng mothusi mo lephateng la kalafi ya mo motseng kwa Mount Sinai Medical School kwa New York.

Patlisiso nngwe e e dirilweng mo basading ba ba tlhokomelang mongwe e e neng ya phasaladiwa mo The Journals of Gerontology,b e bontsha gore diperesente di le 61 tsa basadi bao go begwa gore ba malapa a bone le ditsala ga ba ba thuse ka gope. Mme mo e ka nnang halofo ya bone (diperesente di le 57,6) e ne ya bolela gore banna ba bone ga ba ba eme nokeng mo maikutlong. Mo Children With Cancer, Jeanne Munn Bracken o tlhalosa gore le mororo bommè e le bone ba rwalang morwalo o mogolo wa go nna batlhokomedi, “rre a ka nna a bo a ikgogona a baya tlhokomelo fela mo tirong ya gagwe.”

Lefa go ntse jalo, Dr. Lewis o bolela gore go na le palo e ntsinyana ya banna ba ba tlhokomelang mongwe. Ka sekai, palo ya banna ba ba nang le basadi ba ba tshwerweng ke Alzheimer’s disease e ntsinyana. Mme ga go na pelaelo gore le bone ba ngomolwa pelo ke mathata a go tlhokomela moratwa wa bone yo o lwalang. Lewis o tswelela ka go re: “Gongwe banna bano ke bone ba aparetsweng ke mathata a magolo go gaisa botlhe ka gonne gantsi ba a bo ba le bagolo mo basading ba bone e bile bone ka bobone ba sa itekanela sentle. . . . Bontsi jwa bone ga ba a katisediwa go tlhokomela mongwe ka tsela e e molemo.”

Malapa a tshwanetse go tila tlwaelo ya go imetsa motho a le mongwe fela mo lapeng yo go bonalang e le ene fela yo o kgonang go tlhokomela sentle. Buka ya Care for the Carer ya re: “Gantsi ke motho a le mongwe fela mo lelapeng yo o nnang motlhokomedi, ka dinako tse dingwe a dira seo gantsintsi. Palo e kgolo ya bano ke basadi ba ka bobone ba setseng ba godile. . . . Gantsi basadi ba tsewa e le batho ba ka ‘tlholego’ ba itseng go tlhokomela . . . , le fa go ntse jalo, ba lelapa le ditsala le ka motlha ba se ka ba tlhaetsa seo matlho.”

[Ntlha e e kwa tlase]

[Setshwantsho mo go tsebe 6]

Batlhokomedi ba tlhoka go engwa nokeng gore ba kgone go fenya go ikutlwa ba le molato le go galefa