Vahe 30

ʻOku Ou Mateuteu ki he Nofo Malí?

KO E nofo malí ʻoku ʻikai ko ha vaʻinga. Naʻe fakataumuʻa ʻe he ʻOtuá ki he ngaahi husepānití mo e ngaahi uaifí ke nau faʻu ha haʻi tuʻuloa, ʻo vāofi ange ʻi ha toe vahaʻangatae kehe mo e tangatá. (Senesi 2:24) Ko ia ai, ko ha hoa mali ko ha tokotaha ia te ke pīkitai ki ai—pe nofo mo ia—ʻi he toenga ʻo hoʻo moʻuí.

Ko e nofo mali kotoa pē kuo pau ke tofanga ʻi ha ngaahi ‘mamahi.’ (1 Kolinito 7:28) Ka ʻoku fakatokanga mai ʻa Marcia Lasswell, ʻa ia ko ha palōfesa ʻi he saienisi ki he tōʻongá: “Kapau ʻoku tau maʻu ha kiʻi konga fakamatala taʻetoefehuʻia ʻe taha ʻo fekauʻaki mo e tolonga pe ʻikai tolonga ʻa ha nofo mali, te tau pehē ai, ʻoku ʻikai ke lavameʻa ʻa e faʻahinga ʻoku mali kei siʻí.”

Ko e hā ʻoku lahi fau ai ʻa e ngaahi nofo mali kei siʻi ʻoku taʻelavameʻá? Ko e tali ki he fehuʻí ni ʻe ʻi ai nai ʻene kaunga mālohi ki hono fakapapauʻi pe ʻokú ke mateuteu ki he nofo malí pe ʻikai.

Ngaahi ʻAmanaki Lalahi

“Naʻe kovi ʻaupito ʻa ʻema ʻilo fekauʻaki mo e nofo malí,” ko e fakahā ia ʻa ha taʻahine taʻu hongofulu tupu. “Naʻá ma fakakaukau ʻe malava pē ke ma ʻalu mo haʻu, fai ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ma loto ki aí, fufulu pe ʻoua ʻe fufulu ʻa e ʻū ipú, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke pehē ia.” ʻOku ohi ʻe he kau talavou tokolahi ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau taʻematuʻotuʻa pehē fekauʻaki mo e nofo malí. ʻOku nau fakakaukau ki ai ko ha fakaʻānaua fakaemanako. Pe ko ʻenau malí koeʻuhi ʻoku nau fiemaʻu ʻa e tuʻunga ʻo e hā fuʻu lahí. Ko e niʻihi leva ko ʻenau fiemaʻu pē ke hola mei ha tuʻunga kovi ʻi ʻapi, ʻi he ʻapiakó, pe ʻi honau koló. Ko e fakamatala eni ʻa ha taʻahine ki he tangata naʻe teu mali mo iá: “Te u fiefia lahi ʻi he taimi te ta mali aí. ʻE ʻikai ʻaupito ai ke u toe fai ha ngaahi fili!”

Ka ko e nofo malí ʻoku ʻikai ko ha fakaʻānaua pe ko ha faitoʻo ki he ngaahi palopalema kotoa pē. ʻI hono kehé, ʻokú ne ʻomai ha ngaahi palopalema foʻou ke fekuki mo ia. “ʻOku mali ʻa e kau taʻu hongofulu tupu tokolahi ke nau vaʻinga,” ko e lau ia ʻa Vicky, ʻa ia naʻá ne maʻu ʻene ʻuluaki tamá ʻi hono taʻu 20. “ʻOku hā fakafiefia moʻoni ia! ʻOkú ke fakakaukau ki ha kiʻi tama ko ha kiʻi tamapua, ko ha meʻa ʻoku foʻi fakaʻofoʻofa pea te ke vaʻinga pē mo ia, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke anga pehē ia.”

ʻOku toe maʻu foki ʻe he kau talavou tokolahi ʻa e ngaahi ʻamanaki taʻemoʻoni fekauʻaki mo e fehokotaki fakasinó. Naʻe pehē ʻe ha talavou ʻa ia naʻe mali ʻi hono taʻu 18: “ʻI he hili ʻa ʻeku malí naʻá ku ʻilo ko e fuʻu fakafiefia ʻo e fehokotaki fakasinó ʻoku mole vave ʻaupito ia pea naʻe kamata moʻoni leva ke ʻi ai ʻema ngaahi palopalema.” ʻI ha ako ʻe taha ki he ngaahi hoa taʻu hongofulu tupú naʻe ʻilo ai, ʻi he fika ua ki he ngaahi palopalema fakapaʻangá, ko e lahi taha ʻo e fakakikihí naʻe fekauʻaki ia mo e fehokotaki fakasinó. ʻOku hoko taʻetoeveiveiua eni koeʻuhi ko hono fakafiemālieʻi ʻo e ngaahi vā fakaemalí ʻoku tupu ia mei he taʻesiokitá mo e mapuleʻi-kitá—ko e ongo ʻulungāanga ʻoku ʻikai faʻa lava ke fakatupulekina ʻe he toʻutupú.—1 Kolinito 7:​3, 4.

ʻI heʻene fakapotopotó, ʻoku fakalototoʻaʻi ai ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻa e kau Kalisitiané ke nau mali ʻi heʻenau ‘tauhili mei he finemuí’ pe talavoú. (1 Kolinito 7:36) Ko e mali ʻi he taimi ʻoku kei mālohi ai ʻa e holí ʻe malava ke ne mioʻi ʻa hoʻo fakakaukaú pea fakakuihi ai koe ki he ngaahi mele ʻo ha hoa ʻoku ʻamanekina.

Taʻemateuteu ki Honau Ngafá

Ko e lea eni ʻa ha taʻahine mali taʻu hongofulu tupu ʻo fekauʻaki mo hono husepānití: “Ko eni kuó ma mali, ko e toki taimi pē ʻokú ne tokanga mai ai kiate aú ʻa e taimi ʻokú ne fiemaʻu ai ʻa e fehokotaki fakasinó. ʻOku fakakaukau ia ʻoku mahuʻinga tatau pē ke ʻi hono ngaahi kaungātangatá mo e ʻiate aú. . . . Naʻá ku fakakaukau te u hoko ko au toko taha pē ʻi heʻene moʻuí, ka ko e tākihalaʻi lahi ʻoʻokú.” ʻOku fakaeʻa ʻe he meʻá ni ha fakakaukau hala ʻoku lahi hono maʻu ʻe he kau talavoú: ʻOku nau fakakaukau, ʻi honau tuʻunga ko e husepānití, ʻoku kei malava pē ke nau moʻui ʻi he founga moʻui ʻo e kei toko tahá.

ʻOku lave ha taʻahine mali taʻu 19 ki ha palopalema ʻoku lahi ʻi he ngaahi uaifi kei siʻí: “ʻOku sai ange ke u sio TV au mo mohe ʻi he fakamaʻa falé mo e ngaohi kaí. ʻOku ou mā ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻaʻahi mai ai ʻa e ongo mātuʻa ʻa hoku husepānití he ʻoku maau maʻu pē hona falé ka ko hoku falé ʻoku taʻemaau maʻu pē ia. ʻOku toe kovi ʻaupito foki mo ʻeku ngaohi kaí.” Hono ʻikai fakamafasia moʻoni ki ha nofo mali ʻa e vale ʻa ha fefine ʻi he ngaahi ngāue fakaʻapí! “Ko e nofo malí ʻoku fiemaʻu moʻoni ki ai ʻa e tukupā,” ko e fakahā ia ʻe Vicky (naʻe lave ki ai ki muʻá). “ʻOku ʻikai ko ha vaʻinga eni. Ko e fakafiefia ʻo e ʻaho malí kuo ʻosi. ʻOku hoko mai leva ki he moʻui fakaʻahó pea ʻoku ʻikai ke faingofua ia.”

Pea fēfē ʻa e ongosia fakaʻaho ʻi hono tauhi ha fāmilí? ʻOku pehē ʻe Mark, ko e husepāniti ʻo Vicky: “ʻOku ou manatuʻi ʻi heʻeku ʻuluaki ngāué naʻe pau ai ke u mālanga hake ʻi he 6 pongipongí. Naʻá ku fakakaukau maʻu pē: ‘Ko e meʻa faingataʻa eni. ʻE faifai ange peá u maʻu ha mālōlō?’ Pea ʻi heʻeku aʻu atu leva ki ʻapí naʻá ku ongoʻi naʻe ʻikai ke mahinoʻi ʻe Vicky ʻa e meʻa naʻá ku fehangahangai mo iá.”

Palopalema Fakapaʻanga

Ko e meʻá ni ʻokú ne ʻomai ai kitautolu ki ha tupuʻanga ʻe taha ʻo e fepaki fakaemali ʻa e ngaahi hoa mali kei siʻí: paʻangá. Naʻe fakahā ʻe he ngaahi hoa taʻu hongofulu tupu ʻe 48, ʻi he hili ʻa e māhina ʻe tolu ʻo e malí, ko ʻenau palopalema lahi tahá ko e “ngāueʻaki ʻo e paʻanga ʻa e fāmilí.” ʻI he hili ʻa e meimei taʻu ʻe tolu, ko e ngaahi hoa ʻe 37 mei he ngaahi hoa ko ení naʻe ʻeke ki ai ʻa e fehuʻi tatau. Naʻe toe fika ʻuluaki ai pē ʻa e ngaahi palopalema fakapaʻangá—pea ko honau mamahí naʻe toe fuʻu kovi ange! “Ko e hā hano ifo ʻo e moʻuí,” ko e fehuʻi ia ʻa Bill, “ʻi he ʻikai te ke maʻu ʻa e paʻanga feʻunga ke fakatau mai ʻaki ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ke fiemaʻu ke ʻai ai koe ke ke fiemālié? . . . ʻI he ʻikai te ke maʻu ʻa e meʻa feʻunga ke aʻu mei he ʻaho vahe ko eé ki he ʻaho vahe ko eé, ʻoku malava ke ne fakatupunga ke lahi ʻa e keé mo e loto-mamahí.”

ʻOku hoko lahi ʻa e ngaahi palopalema fakapaʻangá ʻi he kau taʻu hongofulu tupú, he ko kinautolu ʻoku faʻa māʻolunga taha ai ʻa e tuʻunga ʻo e taʻemaʻungāué pea mo e vāhenga māʻulalo tahá. “Koeʻuhi naʻe ʻikai lava ke u fai ha tokonaki maʻa hoku fāmilí, naʻe pau ai ke ma nofo mo ʻeku ongo mātuʻá,” ko e fakahā ia ʻa Roy. “Naʻe fakatupunga ʻe he meʻá ni ʻa e loto-hohaʻa lahi, tautefito koeʻuhi naʻe ʻi ai foki mo ʻema tama.” Ko e faleʻi eni ʻa e Palovepi 24:27: “Tokonaki hoʻo ngaue ʻi tuʻa, pea teuteu maʻau ʻi he vao; hili ia pea ke nofo ke langa hao fale.” ʻI he ngaahi taimi ʻo e Tohi Tapú, naʻe ngāue mālohi ʻa e kakai tangatá ke nau ʻi ha tuʻunga ʻamui ke tauhi ha fāmili. ʻI he taʻemalava ke fai ʻa e ngaahi teuteu feʻunga peheé, ʻoku hoko ai ʻa e ngafa ʻo e tauhi fāmilí ʻo fakakavenga ki he ngaahi husepāniti kei siʻi tokolahi he ʻahó ni.

Ka naʻa mo ha vāhenga lahi ʻe ʻikai ngata ai ʻa e ngaahi palopalema fakapaʻangá ia ʻo kapau ʻoku maʻu ʻe ha ongo meʻa ha fakakaukau fakatamaiki ki he ngaahi meʻa fakamatelié. Naʻe fakahā ʻi ha ako ʻe taha “naʻe ʻamanekina ʻe he kau taʻu hongofulu tupú ke nau malava ʻo fakatau leva maʻa honau ngaahi fāmili ʻoku faʻú ʻa e konga lahi ʻo e ngaahi meʻa naʻe feʻunga nai mo e laui taʻu ki heʻenau ngaahi mātuʻá ke maʻú.” ʻI he fakapapauʻi ke maʻu he taimí ni ʻa e ngaahi meʻa fakamatelie ko ení, ʻoku tō ai ʻa e tokolahi ki he moʻua lahi. ʻI he ʻikai maʻu ʻa e tuʻunga matuʻotuʻa ke fiemālie pē ʻi he “meʻakai mo e kofu,” ʻoku nau fakalahi ai ʻi heʻenau nofo malí ʻa e loto-mafasiá.—1 Timote 6:​8-10.

“Lau Maile Hona Vāmamaʻó”

Ko e manatu eni ʻa Maureen: “Naʻá ku ʻofa ʻia Don. Naʻe matātangata ʻaupito, kaukaua, tō-atu ʻene sipotí pea toe fuʻu manakoa . . . Naʻe pau ke lelei ʻema nofo malí.” Ka naʻe ʻikai. Ko e loto-mamahí naʻe ʻalu ʻo aʻu ki he tuʻunga, ʻo hangē ko e lau ʻa Maureen, “Ko e meʻa kotoa pē naʻe fai ʻe Don naʻá ne ʻai au ke u ʻita—naʻa mo e anga ʻo ʻene kai longoaʻa ʻi heʻema kaí. Faifai atu pē, naʻe ʻikai ke ma toe makātakiʻi.” Naʻe holafa ʻa ʻena nofo malí ʻi loto ʻi he taʻu ʻe uá.

Ko e hā ʻa e palopalemá? “Ko ʻema ngaahi taumuʻa ʻi he moʻuí naʻe lau maile hona vā mamaʻó,” ko e fakamatala ia ʻa Maureen. “ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi he taimí ni naʻá ku fiemaʻu ha taha naʻe malava ke ma femahinoʻakí. Ka ko Don ko ʻene moʻuí pē ʻaʻana ʻa e sipotí. Ko e ngaahi meʻa naʻá ku fakakaukau naʻe fuʻu mahuʻinga ʻi hoku taʻu 18 naʻe fakafokifā pē ʻa e ʻikai hano mahuʻinga kiate aú.” ʻOku faʻa maʻu ʻe he toʻutupú ha vakai fakatamaiki ki he meʻa ʻoku nau fiemaʻu ʻi ha hoa mali, ʻo ʻai ʻa e matamata-leleí ko e meʻa muʻomuʻa tahá ia. ʻOku fakatokanga mai ʻa e Palovepi 31:30 (PM): “Koe mea kākā ae matamatalelei, bea koe vaiga ae hoihoifua.”

Fai ha Sivisiviʻi-Kita

ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú ko e loto-ʻoho ʻa e tokotaha ʻokú ne fai ha tukumoʻui ki he ʻOtuá, ka ʻi he toki “hili ʻene tukumoʻui, pea toki nofo ke sivi.” (Fakaʻītali ʻamautolu; Palovepi 20:25) ʻIkai ʻoku fakapotopoto ange ke ke sivisiviʻi koe ʻi he maama ʻo e Tohi Tapú ki muʻa ke ke hū atu ki ha meʻa ʻoku hangē hono mafatukitukí ko ha fuakava mali? Ko e hā ʻa hoʻo ngaahi taumuʻa ʻi he moʻuí? ʻE uesia fēfē ia ʻe he nofo malí? ʻOkú ke loto ke ke malí koeʻuhi pē ke ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ʻa e fehokotaki fakasinó pe ke hola ai mei he ngaahi palopalemá?

Pehē foki, ko e hā hono lahi ʻo hoʻo mateuteu ke fakahoko ʻa e ngafa ʻo e husepānití pe uaifí? ʻOku malava ke ke fakalele ha fāmili pe ngāueʻi ha moʻui? Kapau ʻokú ke fepaki maʻu pē mo hoʻo ongo mātuʻá, ʻe malava ke ke felātani mo ha hoa mali? ʻE malava ke ke matuʻuaki ʻa e ngaahi ʻahiʻahi mo e ngaahi mamahi ʻoku haʻu fakataha mo e nofo malí? Kuó ke liʻaki moʻoni “ʻa e toʻonga fakatamasiʻi” ʻi he fekauʻaki mo hono tokangaʻi ʻo e paʻangá? (1 Kolinito 13:11) ʻOku ʻikai ha veiveiua ʻoku lahi ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻe leaʻaki ʻe hoʻo ongo mātuʻá ʻo fekauʻaki mo e meʻa kuó ke lavaʻí.

ʻOku malava ke hoko ʻa e nofo malí ko ha matavai ʻo e fiefia lahi pe ʻo e mamahi lahi tahá. ʻOku fakatuʻunga ʻa e meʻa lahi ʻi he anga ʻo hoʻo mateuteu ki aí. Kapau ʻokú ke kei taʻu hongofulu tupu, fēfē ke ke kiʻi tatali ʻi ha vahaʻa taimi peá ke toki kamata ʻa e faialeá? ʻE ʻikai te ke lavea he tatalí. ʻE ʻoatu pē ai ʻa e taimi ʻoku fiemaʻu ke ke hoko ai ʻo mateuteu moʻoni ʻo kapau pea ʻi he taimi te ke laka ai ʻi he sitepu mafatukituki—mo tuʻuloa—ko ia ʻo e nofo malí.

Ngaahi Fehuʻi ki he Fetalanoaʻaki

◻ Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau taʻematuʻotuʻa fekauʻaki mo e nofo malí ʻoku ohi ʻe he kau talavou ʻe niʻihi?

◻ Ko e hā ʻokú ke fakakaukau ai ʻoku taʻefeʻunga ke mali pē ki he foʻi fehokotaki fakasinó?

◻ Kuo anga-fēfē ʻa e hoko ʻo taʻemateuteu ʻa e kau talavou ʻe niʻihi ki he ngafa ʻo e husepānití pe ʻo e uaifí?

◻ Ko e hā ʻoku faʻa maʻu ai ʻe he ngaahi hoa kei siʻí ʻa e ngaahi palopalema mafatukituki fekauʻaki mo e paʻangá?

◻ Ko e hā ʻa e fehālaaki ʻoku fai ʻe he kau talavou ʻe niʻihi ʻi hono fili ha hoa mali?

◻ Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi te ke ʻeke hifo nai kiate koe fekauʻaki mo hoʻo mateuteu ki he nofo malí? ʻI he hili ʻa e fakakaukau ki he fakamatala ko ení, ʻoku fēfē hoʻo ongoʻi ki hoʻo mateuteu ki he nofo malí?

[Fakamatala ʻi he peesi 240]

“Kapau ʻoku tau maʻu ha kiʻi konga fakamatala taʻetoefehuʻia ʻe taha ʻo fekauʻaki mo e tolonga pe ʻikai tolonga ʻa ha nofo mali, te tau pehē ai, ʻoku ʻikai ke lavameʻa ʻa e faʻahinga ʻoku mali kei siʻí.”—Marcia Lasswell, palōfesa ʻi he saienisi ki he tōʻongá

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 237]

ʻOku hū ʻa e kau talavou tokolahi ki he nofo malí ʻo ʻikai toe mateuteu ange ki ai ʻi he ongo meʻa ko ení