Dɛn Na Ɛma Wɔyɛ Saa?
NHWEHWƐMUFO no tee nka sɛ wɔate biribiara ase. Na wɔayɛ mmofra mu nhwehwɛmu yiye fi wɔn mmofraase abesi wɔn mmerantebere ne wɔn mmabaabere mu. Wɔhwehwɛɛ awofo no, ofie asetra ne abofra biara adwene anaasɛ ne nsusuwii ho nsɛm mu. Afei wɔkaa mmofra yi mu wɔn a wɔbɛyɛ mpanyimfo a wɔwɔ anigye ho asɛm siei. Ná ɛte sɛ nea ɛyɛ mmerɛw—anigye a obi benya wɔ ne mmofraabere mu wɔ abusua asetra a anigye wom mu no bɛma wanyin abɛyɛ ɔpanyin a ɔwɔ anigye.
Bere a wɔtwɛn kosii sɛ mmofra no dii mfe 30 no, wɔsan bisabisaa wɔn nsɛm. Ná nea wɔka siei no abiɛsa biara mu abien yɛ mfomso! Nkyerɛkyerɛmu tiaa a ɛfa nea enti a mmofra yɛ ade sɛnea wɔyɛ ho biara nni hɔ. Nanso nneɛma bebree di dwuma kɛse wɔ sɛnea abofra nyin mu.
SO SAA NA WƆWO WƆN?
Sɛnea yɛn nipadua hwɛbea te no pii fi yɛn awofo nkyɛn. Na yɛn suban nso ɛ? Animdefo binom, te sɛ ɔbenfo A. H. Chapman, se: “Nkɛntɛnso a awosu nya wɔ nipasu a abofra nya so no sua sen tumi a ɔkwan a wɔfa so tete no no nya wɔ ne so no. . . .Dwuma a awosu di no yɛ ketewaa.” Nanso awofo bebree nnye ntom koraa. Sɛ nhwɛso no, ɛnã bi bisaa faa ne ba ho sɛ: “Dɛn nti na otumi suasua n’agya pɛpɛɛpɛ saa—anuonyampɛ, ahantan, aniammɔho—bere a onhuu no da? Ne papa [gyaw me] bere a ɔne me nyinsɛnee bere tiaa bi akyi no.”
Nnansa yi, nyansahufo kuw bi suaa ntafo 15 a wɔantete wɔn faako ho ade. “Wɔn ho dwiriw wɔn wɔ sɛnea na wɔne wɔn ho wɔn ho di nsɛ no ho.” Esiane sɛ wɔtetew ntafo no mu na wɔtetee wɔn wɔ mmeae a ɛsonsonee nti, nyansahufo no tee nka sɛ awosu titiriw na ɛde nsɛdi kɛse a ɛte saa bae wɔ wɔn nneyɛe mu. Sɛnea nyansahufo no mu biako, David Lykken, kae no, adesua no da no adi sɛ “su a onipa nya fi awo mu no mu fã kɛse no ara yɛ nea wotumi kɛntɛn so sen sɛnea yɛasusuw pɛn.”
BAABI A ƆTRA
FAAKO A ABOFRA NO TE: Obi a ɔyɛ asetra mu nhwehwɛmu a na ɔde mfe anum ayɛ saa wɔ mmofra mu fii ase sɛ: “Na Tommy nso yɛ abofra a ne ti nye koraa a minim no. Ɔne n’abusuafo traa ɔdan ketewaa bi a nsuɔhyew nni mu mu wɔ ofi bi mu. Wɔ ofie hɔ no, ohyiaa ɔhaw ahorow a na efi agya sabowfo bi ne nnipa bebree a na ɔne wɔn te nkyɛn . . . na ɔtee nka sɛ ne ho nni mfaso na ne ho nhia.” Aberantewa no bɛyɛɛ obi a ɔde adubɔne a wɔfrɛ no heroin di dwuma bere a odii mfe 14 no, na mfe abiɛsa akyi no, owui denam nom a ɔnom boroo so nti. Ɛda adi sɛ faako a ɔtrae no nyaa abofra yi so tumi wɔ ɔkwan a enye so. Nanso, abofra foforo nso a ɔtraa kurow a nnipa kyere so wɔ mu mu yɛɛ nea ɛbɔ abira. Ne maame bɔ amanneɛ sɛ: “Ɛwom sɛ ɛtɔ mmere bi a Jeff ma mete abasamtu nka de, nanso esiane sɛ me ne mmofra no ne nnipa a wɔn ani gye wɔn ho ankasa da so ara te nti, ama me mma baanu nyinaa abenya ɔdɔ ne adamfofa su ama afoforo.”
NEA ABOFRA HWƐ: Wɔ aman binom so no, wɔbɔ amanneɛ sɛ mmofra tumi de nnɔnhwerew 8,000 hwɛ TV ansa na wɔafi sukuu ase. Eyi bɛka wɔn adwene wɔ asetra ho ɔkwan biara so. Adwene ho nimdefo Robert Liebert a ɔyɛ wɔn a wɔhyɛ abofra nneyɛe nsõ no mu biako a wobu no yiye no se: “Ɛkyerɛkyerɛ wɔn sɛ tumi ne ahonya ma obi tumi yɛ biribiara. Nneɛma a woyi wɔ TV so no mu asuade fã kɛse ara ne sɛ adefo, ahoɔdenfo ne wɔn a wɔboa ma bɔne kɔ so no ne wɔn a wodi yiye kɛse.”
Nea ɛka ho no, nhwehwɛmu pii rekyerɛ sɛ TV a wɔhwɛ no dodo siw nea ebetumi ama obi asua ade kwan. Sɛnea onimdefo bi bɔɔ amanneɛ no, ose: “Sɛ television no si so a, enya obiara so tumi . . . biribiara a na anka ɛkɔ so wɔ nnipa ntam—agorudi ahorow, kasa, nkitahodi ahorow a ɛde nipasu ne dwumadi ahorow mu nkɔso ba—gyae. Enti sɛ wosɔ television a, woma ɔkwan a nnipa fa so yɛ nnipa no to twa.”
ADUAN—ƐHO HIA DƐN?
Nnuruyɛfo binom se ‘ɛho hia yiye.’ Eyi ho nhwɛso ne aberantewa bi ne ne maame suahu no. Ne maame kae sɛ: “Wadi mfe ason na ɔpɛ sukuu, sɛ onya du hɔ nkutoo a. Nanso ɛyɛ a na ɛsɛ sɛ metwe no fi mpa so, na meyere no de atade hyɛ no, na mehwe no ansa na wadidi. Ɔfe. Yɛde no tra kar mu kɔ sukuu.” Ɔredi tebea no ho awerɛhow no, ɔde kaa ho sɛ: “So ɔkwan pa bi wɔ hɔ a ɛsɛ sɛ wɔfa so tra ase?” Nanso, oduruyɛfo bi a waben hui sɛ na aberantewa no di ice cream pii anadwo biara ansa na wakɔda. Bere a wɔde aduan pa bi sii adɔkɔdɔkɔde no ananmu no, anɔpa no ne suban sesa yɛɛ yiye. Wɔ ne nhoma Improving Your Child’s Behavior Chemistry mu no, oduruyɛfo a ɔhwɛ ade yiye, Lendon H. Smith si hia a aduan pa ho hia so dua bere a ɔka sɛ: “Nea ɛma ankorankoro biara nyin yiye no gyina aduan pa a amemene no nya so.”
Amanneɛbɔ a efi Science World (February 22, 1979) , a ɛtwe adwene kɔ pira a nnɔkɔnnɔkɔwade bebree a wodi de ba, titiriw wɔ mmofra fam no so mu ne sɛ: “Awiei koraa no, aduammɔne betumi asɛe nipadua.” Anyɛ yiye koraa no, adesua biako akyerɛ sɛ aduan a ɛte saa no betumi “de nipasu mu nsakrae ahorow a enye koraa [a ɛbɛma obi abɛyɛ] ntɔkwapɛfo ne obi a ɔyɛ keka anaasɛ obufufafo yiye aba.”
Nnuan a ɔbɛpow ne di betumi aka sɛnea abofra yɛ ade nso. Maame bi kaa ne ba abarimaa bi a wadi mfe 11 ho asɛm sɛ ɔyɛ obi a ne bo fuw ntɛm, bere nyinaa n’ani nnye, ɔyɛ kusuu na ɔyɛ akyinnyegyefo. Oduruyɛfo bi hui sɛ na abofra no mpɛ nnuan bi, na awofo no bɔɔ amanneɛ saa, na bere a wɔhwɛɛ no yiye no, wɔn ba abarimaa no yɛɛ “onipa foforo.” Wɔabɔ nea ɛte saa ara a afi mu aba wɔ mmofra a na wɔte saa a wɔahwɛ wɔn aduandi so yiye no ho amanneɛ.
AWOFO NHWƐSO
Abarimaa bi a wadi mfe 17 kyerɛkyerɛɛ mu sɛ: “Na me maame yɛ me mmɔbɔ.” Ɔkwan bɛn na ɔfaa so daa no adi? Na ɔde sekan ahunahuna abeawa bi ato no mmonnaa saa bere no. Ose, ɔyɛɛ saa na ɔde ahyɛ n’agya a na osisi ne yere no aniwu.
Sɛ́ anka wobekwati ɔwofo nhwɛso bɔne no, mmofra bebree nyɛ saa. Nhoma Who’s Bringing Them Up? kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Akokoaa nam tumi a ɛwɔ asuasua mu so sua ade. . . Wosua suban ahorow nyinaa, nkate ahorow, adwenemhaw ahorow, anigye, awerɛhow, na wosuasua mpanyimfo nneyɛe. Mmofra a wɔn awofo yɛ basabasa besuasua basabasayɛ, wɔn a wɔn awofo wɔ ɔdɔ besuasua saa su no.”
Tumi horow bebree wɔ hɔ a ɛka abofra asetra, nanso sɛnea ntetee ho ɔbenfo bi kae no, ose: “Ɛsɛ sɛ awofo hu sɛ wɔne tumi a ɛho hia kɛse wɔ wɔn mmofra asetra mu.
MMOFRA HWEHWƐ ƆDƆ NE GYE A WOBEGYE WƆN ATOM
Bere a wadi abosome abiɛsa pɛ wɔ wiase no,” akokoaa bi hui sɛ na ɔrehwere biribi titiriw bi. Na ade a ɛtaa tɔ ne so no ne nea ɛma ɛda adi kɛse sɛ biribi haw no. Ná nnuruyɛfo ntumi nhu hwee a atoto. Nhoma The Secret World of Kids bɔɔ amanneɛ sɛ; “Nanso wohui sɛ na ɛnã no mpɛ abofra no asɛm, na ɔmma no so na onnye no agoru, na nea ɔyɛ ara ne sɛ ɔde toaa a abofra no aduan wom no bɛhyɛ n’anom bere a adu sɛ ɔma no aduan no.” Bere a ayaresafo tee wɔn ani hwɛɛ abofra no yiye no, ade a na ɛtɔ no so no gyaee.
Wɔawo yɛn a yɛrehwehwɛ ɔdɔ. Mmofra adwene ho nimdefo Bruce Narramore se: “Ɔdɔ a wɔhwehwɛ yi betumi ayɛ w’abofra nneyɛe ho nkyerɛkyerɛmu a ɛho hia kɛse.” Sɛ wɔde ɔdɔ yi kame no a, ɛbɛma abofra a wayɛ basaa no ayɛ biribiara—obedi atoro, awia ade, de gya ahyew nneɛma, ɔde nnubɔne bedi dwuma, ɔde ne ho bɛhyɛ aguamammɔ no nea ɛkeka ho mu. Ɔdɔ a wɔhwehwɛ yi a enyin sɛ nea abofra nyin no nso da adi wɔ ɔkwan foforo so.
“NHYƐSO A ƐYƐ KƐSE SEN BIARA” MA MMOFRA: Abofra bi a onnya nnuu mpanyin afe so kae sɛ: ‘Emfi akyerɛkyerɛfo, emfi sukuu mu adesua horow.’ “Ɛyɛ nhyɛso horow a efi mmofra afoforo hɔ.” Hwehwɛ a wɔhwehwɛ sɛ mmofra afoforo pɛ wɔn asɛm no kyerɛ bebree nneyɛe kwan. obi a ɔyɛ asetra mu nhwehwɛmu a ɔbɔɔ mmɔden sɛ ɔbɛsakra mmofra kuw bi a wɔyɛ nsɛmmɔnedifo ma wɔayɛ yiye bɔɔ amanneɛ sɛ: “Titiriw no, nea mmofra a wɔn ti nye yi rehwehwɛ no yɛ nea yɛn nyinaa pɛ—sɛ wɔbɛyɛ obi sen sɛ wɔnyɛ obiara, wobebu wɔn sɛ nnipa, sɛ ani bɛsɔ wɔn na mpo wɔadɔ wɔn.” (Yɛn na yɛde nkyerɛwde soronko akyerɛw ɔfã yi) Wɔnam anibere so bɔ mmɔden sɛ wobenya eyi wɔ wɔn mmofra kuw no mu.
Pɛ ka wɔbɛpɛ sɛ kuw no pene wɔn so no ano yɛ den dɛn? Abenfo kuw bi pɛe sɛ wohu. Wɔfrɛɛ mmofra 10 a wonnya nnuu mpanyin afe so kɔɔ dan bi mu na wɔmaa kratasin bi a nsensanee wɔ so so kyerɛɛ wɔn. Abenfo no kae sɛ: “Sɛ yɛde yɛn nsa kyerɛ nsanee tenten no so a, yɛsrɛ wo, ma wo nsa so.” Nanso, bere a abofra biako nnim ho hwee no, na wɔaka akyerɛ baakron a aka no sɛ wɔnka nea ɛnyɛ nokware no.
Bere a bere a wɔde bɛkyerɛ no dui no, abofra a na wɔresua ne ho ade no ho dwiriw no bere a afoforo a aka no nyinaa penee nsanee tiatia no so no. Abofra no susuwii sɛ: “Ebia manhu nea ɛyɛ nokware no, na ɛbɛyɛ papa sɛ mɛyɛ nea obiara reyɛ no, anyɛ saa a wɔbɛserew me.” Enti ɔyɛɛ bɔkɔɔ maa ne nsa so kaa afoforo no ho! Wotii eyi mu mpɛn pii. Sɛnea ɛbɛyɛ na ‘ɔmma wɔnnserew no nti, ɔtow n’ankasa ne nimdeɛ a ɔwɔ kyenee. Ɔbenfo James Dobson bɔɔ amanneɛ sɛ: “Mmofra a wɔsɔɔ wɔn hwɛe no bɛboro ɔha mu nkyem 75 yɛɛ saa ara!”
Hwɛ mmofra dodow a wɔatow wɔn ankasa nimdeɛ akyene denam wɔn ho a wɔde ahyɛ aguamammɔ, nnubɔne a wɔde di dwuma, asabow ne nea ɛkeka ho mu, a nea enti a wɔyɛ saa nyinaa ne pɛ a wɔpɛ sɛ kuw a wɔwom no gye wɔn tom nti. Nanso nkate foforo bi nso ka sɛnea mmofra yɛ ade no.
“METEE NKA BERE NYINAA SƐ MEBA FAM WƆ ME NNAMFONOM MU”: Eyi ne sɛnea abeawa bi a wadi mfe 15 tee nka esiane sɛ na wayɛ kɛse dodo na ɔbarima biara ani nnye ne ho nti. Ɔpanyin bi a ɔnam telefon so de amanneɛbɔ ma aban adwumayɛfo te sɛ wɔn a wosianka wɔn a wɔpɛ sɛ wokum wɔn ho no na ogyee no bere a ɔpɛe sɛ okum ne ho. Ɛnyɛ abeawa yi nkutoo na ɔwɔ nkate yi.
“So wunim sɛ mmofra a wonnuu mpanyin afe so ɔha biara mu 80 ani nnye sɛnea wɔte no ho?” Ɔbenfo Dobson bɔ amanneɛ wɔ ne nhoma Preparing for Adolescence mu sɛ “ɔha biara mu aduowɔtwe!” Yiw, wɔte nka sɛ wɔyɛ tenten anaasɛ wɔyɛ tiaa dodo, sɛ wɔyɛ kɛse anaasɛ wɔyɛ ketewa dodo! Ebinom di awerɛhow esiane mfoaa a esisi wɔn anim nti. Nea ɛka ho no, wɔ nnɛ bere yi a awofo bebree si nea abofra nya so dua kɛse, na ɛnyɛ sɛnea ɔte nka wɔ ne mu no, mpɛn pii no, mmofra te huammɔdi nka wɔ wɔn ankasa mu na wonni obu mma wɔn ankasa ho. Wɔn mu bebree tew atua, sɛesɛe neɛma, wɔyɛ nneɛma a nyansa nnim, bere nyinaa wɔkɔ ha ba ha, esiane sɛ wontumi ntra faako nti.
ƆBARIMA NE ƆBEA NNA HO AKƆNNƆ NO NYIN: Biribi ketewa bi a ɛwɔ amemene no ho fi ase de “ahyɛde” a ano yɛ den ma mmofra a wonnya nnuu mpanyin afe so no. Ade foforo nso ka kyerɛ nipadua no sɛ, ‘Kɔ so, siesie wo ho ma ɔwofo a wobɛyɛ!’ Nneɛma bi a ɛwɔ nipadua no mu fi ase ma awode no nyin. Nanso nkwammoaa yi a ɛkanyan dwumadi wɔ nipadua mu no di dwuma pii.
Nhoma The Story of Human Emotions a ɔbenfo G. M. Lott yɛe no ka sɛ: “Mmofra a wonnuu mpanyin afe so no wɔ . . . nkwaa mu nsakrae horow bi a ɛkanyan mmofra ma wonya akɔnnɔ.” Yiw, nkwaa a ɛwɔ nipadua mu a ɛkanyan yi hyɛ mmofra a wonnuu mpanyin afe so no nkate horow so. Saa bere yi mu no, abofra a onnuu mpanyin afe so no fi ase sɛ ɔbɛyɛ nea ɔpɛ. Sɛ ɔyɛ ɔbarima a ebia ɔbɛkyerɛ ɔbea ho anigye kɛse, na sɛ ɔyɛ ɔbea a ebia ɔbɛkyerɛ ɔbarima ho anigye kɛse.
Bible no (NW) ka saa bere yi ho asɛm sɛ ‘bere a obi asi so sɛ aberante,’ na ɛkamfo sɛ obi betumi aware bere a ‘watra’ saa bere yi. (1 Kor. 7:36) Tete Hela asɛmfua (hyperakmos) a wɔde dii dwuma no kyerɛ sɛ ‘watra nea ɛsen biribiara, nhwiren a anyin awie.’ Saa bere yi no, ɔbarima ne ɔbea nna ho akɔnnɔ a mmofra wɔ no nyin anaasɛ ano ba bɛyɛ den. Mfe ɔha a atwam ni no, mfe a na ɔbea di ansa na wayɛ bra no so atew afi mfe 16 aba mfe 12 mprempren. Eyi de bi ka ɔhaw no ho, efisɛ eyi hyɛ ebinom a wonnuu mpanyin afe so no ma wɔko tebea bi a wontumi nni ho dwuma mu.
Sɛ mmofra a wonnuu mpanyin afe so ma ɔbarima ne ɔbea nna ho akɔnnɔ yi nya wɔn so tumi a, nea efi mu ba no taa yɛ awerɛhow—babaso, nyinsɛn a wɔnhwɛ kwan, nyinsɛn a wɔsɛe no ne obu a wonnya mma wɔn ankasa ho. Ɛho hia sɛ wodi akɔnnɔ a ɛte saa so. (Kol. 3:5) Obi a ɔkɔ ntoaso sukuu a ɔkaee saa bere yi wɔ n’asetra mu no gye toom sɛ: “Me ne m’adamfowa dii kan dae bere a na yɛadi mfe dunum. Na yɛayɛ nneɛma bebree nanso, da koro anadwo bi obisae sɛ yebetumi ayɛ saa anaa. Nna kakra bi akyi no, yɛtetew mu. Na ɛyɛ bere a metee yaw nka sen biara wɔ m’asetra mu. Me werɛ howee, meyɛɛ komm na m’adwene mu yɛɛ basaa. Metee huammɔdi nka.’
Ɛda adi sɛ, nneɛma bebree na ɛma mmofra yɛ ade sɛnea wɔyɛ no. Abofra biara yɛ soronko, enti ɛnyɛ wɔn nyinaa na nkɛntɛnso a yehu no bɛma wɔayɛ ade koro. Nea ɛyɛ awerɛhow no, ebinom nneyɛe betumi aka wɔn bere nyinaa. Dɛn na awofo betumi ayɛ de aboa wɔn ma wɔakwati ɔhaw a ɛte saa? Afei nso, so biribi foforo bi wɔ hɔ a ebetumi aboa ma ade pa afi mu aba?
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TV a wɔbɛhwɛ no pii betumi asiw obi adesua kwan, na mfonini ahorow a woyi betumi akyerɛkyerɛ ɔbrasɛe
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Aduankoro a enye a wodi daa betumi ama obi ayɛ nea n’ani bere ntɛm
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Mmofra a wɔwɔ awofo a wɔwɔ dɔ no besuasua wɔn nneyɛe
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Hwehwɛ a wɔhwehwɛ sɛ mmofra afoforo pɛ wɔn asɛm kyerɛ bebree nneyɛe kwan