Nceda Umntwana Wakho Ahlangabezane Neengxaki Zasesikolweni
Iimeko zehlabathi eziya zisiba mbi zisichaphazela sonke, kuquka nabantwana bethu. ILizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile, ngokuchanileyo laxela kwangaphambili ukuba kwimihla yethu “[kwakuya] kufika amaxesha anomngcipheko” yaye “abantu abangendawo noosiyazi, kukhona [babeya] kuhambela phambili ebubini.” (2 Timoti 3:1-5, 13) Ngaloo ndlela, ukuhamba isikolo namhlanje kuzaliswe ziingxaki njengoko abantwana bexakene neengxaki ezazinqabile ngexesha labazali babo. Yintoni abazali abanokuyenza ukuze bancede abantwana babo bahlangabezane nazo?
Ingcinezelo Yoontanga
Inkoliso yabantwana ijamelana nengcinezelo yoontanga ngamaxesha athile. Omnye umfundi oselula ongumFrentshi ukhalaza esithi: “Abazali nabanye abantu benza okusemandleni abo, kodwa akwanele. Iinjubaqa eziselula zinyanzela olunye ulutsha. . . . Abazali abangabalawuliyo abantwana babo abangobazali.”
Abazali abanenkathalo bazama ukunceda abantwana babo babe neempawu zokomoya ezibenza babe namandla ayimfuneko ukuze bamelane nengcinezelo yoontanga eyonakalisayo. Omnye ubawo wacacisa wathi: “Senza umgudu ngenyameko ukuze sincede abantwana bethu bazihlonele, ukuze bangayiboni imfuneko yokufuna ukukholisa oontanga babo. Ukuba abakukhathalele ukufana nabanye abantwana, kuya kuba lula ukwala xa kufuneka benjenjalo.” Ukuze afundise abantwana bakhe ukusingatha iimeko ezinzima, lo mzali ubeka ixesha lokuba intsapho yakhe yenze umdlalo, izilinganise ngokoqobo iingxaki ezinzima ezinokuvela ize ibonise iindlela zokuhlangabezana nazo. Yiba ngumzali onenkxaso uze uncede umntwana wakho azithembe.
Intetho Engamanyala
Njengokuba imilinganiselo yokuziphatha iwohloka ehlabathini lonke, intetho engamanyala iya ixhaphaka ngakumbi. Kumazwe amaninzi iviwa rhoqo nakwiinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezidlala ngexesha abantu abaninzi ababukele ngalo. Ngaloo ndlela, kumabala emidlalo esikolo, kwiivaranda nakumagumbi okufundela kuthethwa le ntetho ingamanyala.
Abanye abafundisi-ntsapho bayakuthethelela ukuthuka kwabo, besithi abafundi babo banokuzigqibela ukuba baza kuyijonga njani intetho enjalo. Kodwa loo ndlela benza ngayo yenza abantwana besikolo bawathabathe loo mabinzana amdaka njengawamkelekileyo kwintetho yemihla ngemihla.
Umzali olumkileyo usichaza ngobubele isizathu sokuba ukusebenzisa amazwi anjalo kungavumelekanga entsatsheni. Kwakhona usenokuyihlola kusengaphambili ingxaki yentetho engamanyala kumsebenzi wesikolo ngokuhlola ucwangciso lwezifundo ukuze abone iincwadi eziza kufundwa ngumntwana wakhe. Ukuba nayiphi na kwiincwadi ezisetyenziswayo inentetho engamanyala okanye ibalaselisa ukuziphatha okubi, mhlawumbi unokucela ukuba umfundisi-ntsapho womntwana wakhe akhethe enye incwadi enemibandela eyamkelekileyo. Ukulungelelana kubonisa ukuba nolwazelelelo.—Filipi 4:5, NW.
Ukuziphatha Okubi Neziyobisi
Uhlolisiso lutyhile ukuba abazali abaninzi bayavuma ukuba “baneentloni ukuthetha ngombandela [wemfundo yesini] ekhaya.” Kunoko, bathembele kwelokuba isikolo siya kubanceda abantwana babo ngenkcazelo echanileyo. Kodwa iThe Sunday Times yaseLondon inikela ingxelo yokuba, ngokutsho kwelinye igqala lomfundisi-ntsapho, amanani axhomileyo okukhulelwa kwabakwishumi elivisayo “anento yokwenza nokuziphatha kungekhona ukusebenza kwezinto zoqingqo-nzala.” Abazali ngabona bafanelekayo ukumisela imilinganiselo yokuziphatha abafuna abantwana babo babe nayo.
Kuyafana ke nangokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi. Kukunganikeli kwabazali ukhokelo okwenza ukuba le ngxaki yande. IFrancoscopie 1993 iphawula oku: “Okukhona ubomi bentsapho bubonakala bunganiki mdla emntwaneni, kokukhona efuna ukuzifumanela enye into enokubuthabathel’ indawo. Ngokufuthi enye yezo zinto [kukusebenzisa] iziyobisi.” UMicheline Chaban-Delmas, ongumongameli weziko eliyiToxicomanie et Prévention Jeunesse (Ukusetyenziswa Kweziyobisi Nokukhuselwa Kolutsha) uvumelana noko esithi: “Kunzima ukuba ngumzali. Kufuneka usoloko uphaphile; amaxesha amaninzi iziyobisi yeyona ndlela yokulumkisa umzali ukuba kukho undonakele. Ukuba okwishumi elivisayo uvakalelwa kukuba unina okanye uyise akamkhathalele, xa enikwa iziyobisi, zisenokubonakala zingumlingo wokucombulula iingxaki zakhe.”
Omnye umzali waseKhanada ucacisa indlela yena nomfazi wakhe abanomdla ngayo kwimfundo yentombazana yabo ekwishumi elivisayo: “UNadine siyamsa size simlande ngenqwelo-mafutha esikolweni. Ngokufuthi, emva kokuba simlandile, xa sincokola siba nomdla wokwazi ukuba usuku lwakhe belunjani na. Ukuba sifumanisa ukuba kukho into enzulu, siye siyithethe kwangelo xesha naye okanye siphinde siwuxubushe loo mbandela ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ebudeni bengxubusho yentsapho.” Ngokufanayo unokubonakalisa inkxalabo yokwenene nothando ngomntwana wakho ngokwenza kube lula ukunxibelelana nawe.
Ukuxhaphaza Nogonyamelo
UMaureen O’Connor uthi kwiHow to Help Your Child Through School ukuxhaphaza “yenye yezona ngxaki zingaqondakaliyo esikolweni.” Kwakhona uphawula ukuba “kubabandezela kakhulu abo bangamaxhoba ako, amaxesha amaninzi bayanqena ukuxelela abazali babo kuba besoyika kuthiwe ‘ngamatyutyusi.’”
Okulusizi kukuba abanye abafundisi-ntsapho bakujonga ukuxhaphaza njengento eqhelekileyo. Kodwa abanye abaninzi bayavumelana nomhlohli uPete Stephenson, okholelwa kwelokuba ukuxhaphaza “luhlobo lwempatho-mbi” yaye ukwathi “ukukuvumela kuqhubeke akubancedi abo baxhaphazayo.”
Ngoko, yintoni onokuyenza ukuba umntwana wakho uba lixhoba lokuxhatshazwa? Lo kaO’Connor ubhala athi: “Abantu bokuqala abamele bakhusele umntwana ngabantu abakhulu ahlala phakathi kwabo [amaxhoba].” Kuxubushe oku nomfundisi-ntsapho onovelwano. Oku kuya kumqinisekisa umntwana wakho ukuba nobabini anisamkeli eso senzo senkohlakalo. Izikolo ezininzi zinenkqubo yokungamkelwa ngokupheleleyo kokuxhaphaza, abafundisi-ntsapho abayixubusha ngokuphandle kumagumbi okufundela.
UNatalie waba lixhoba lokuxhatshazwa ngenxa yonqulo lwakhe. Ubalisa oku: “Kuba ndandingomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova, ndandithukwa, yaye izinto zam maxa wambi zazikrazulwa.” Ukuze acombulule le ngxaki, wathetha nabazali bakhe, abamcebisa ukuba athethe nomfundisi-ntsapho wakhe. Wenjenjalo. Wongezelela athi: “Kwakhona ndabatsalela umnxeba abazali babantwana ababini endandifunda nabo ababendixhaphaza. Ngenxa yokuba ndakwaziyo ukubachazela ingxaki yam, izinto zibhetele kakhulu ngoku. Ngaloo ndlela ndathenjwa ngabafundisi-ntsapho bam nenkoliso yabanye endifunda nabo.”
Maxa wambi, abazali bafumanisa ukuba umntwana wabo nguye oxhaphazayo, akaxhatshazwa. Ngoko, kuhle ukukhe baqwalasele oko kwenzeka ekhayeni labo. IThe Times yaseLondon inikela le ngxelo: “Abantwana abanesimilo esibi kudla ngokuthiwa ngabasuka kwiintsapho apho abazali bangazicombululi ngokufanelekileyo iingxabano khona,” yongezelele ngelithi: “Ugonyamelo luyinto efundwa komnye umntu.”
Kwezinye iindawo ugonyamelo luxhaphake ngokugqithisileyo. Xa iziphithiphithi zobupolitika zibangela kubonakale kunzima ukufunda, abantwana abakuxabisileyo ukuba ngoondilele, maxa wambi, bakufumanisa kufanelekile ukuhlala ekhaya. Kodwa ukuba ingxaki iqalisa ngoxa besesikolweni, ngobulumko bayazimela esikolweni baze babuyele ekhaya de kubekho inzolo.
Umgangatho Ophantsi Wokufundiswa
Ukunxibelelana okufanelekileyo komntwana wenu nomfundisi-ntsapho wakhe kunokumnceda xa umgangatho wokufundiswa ophantsi ubangela iingxaki. Esinye isibini sigqabaza sithi: “Intombazana yethu sisoloko siyikhuthaza ukuba izithande izifundo zayo.” Kodwa xa umfundisi-ntsapho esilela ukwenza ezo zifundo zinandipheke, ngokukhawuleza abantwana baphelelwa ngumdla. Ukuba umntwana wakho ufumanisa ukuba kunjalo, kutheni ungamkhuthazi ukuba athethe nomfundisi-ntsapho wakhe ngasese?
Nceda umntwana wakho alungiselele imibuzo, eya kuthi xa iphenduliwe, yenze kube lula ukulandela izifundo zakhe nendlela yokusebenzisa oko akufundayo. Noko ke, oku kukodwa nje akusosiqinisekiso sokuba uya kuhlala enomdla wokwenene kweso sifundo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngumzekelo wenu njengabazali. Bonisani ukuba ninenkathalo ngokuxubusha izifundo nomntwana wenu nize nithembise ukumnceda ekwenzeni uphando alwabelwe ngumfundisi-ntsapho wakhe.
Esikolweni, kukho abantwana abasuka kumakhaya angamanyananga, okanye abaxhatshazwayo nabangakhathalelwanga, yaye abathi ngenxa yoko baphelelwe kukuzithemba nokuzihlonela. Banxulumana nabantwana abameko zabo zingembi kangako. Abazali abaninzi bayaqonda ukuba kufuneka bazingise ekuncedeni abantwana babo bahlangabezane neengxaki ezivelayo esikolweni. Kodwa kuthekani ngendlela abazali abaqhubana ngayo nabafundisi-ntsapho? Bafanele bahlakulele ulwalamano olunjani, yaye bangakwenza njani oko?
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Ngaba Umntwana Wakho Uyaxhatshazwa?
IINGCALI zicebisa ukuba abazali bahlole iimpawu ezintama ukuba kukho undonakele emntwaneni. Ngaba uyasonqena isikolo, uyabaphepha abo afunda nabo, ufika ekhaya eneziva okanye impahla yakhe ikrazukile?
Mkhuthaze umntwana wakho akuxelele kakuhle oko kwenzekileyo. Oku kuya kukunceda wazi enoba unengxaki yokuxhatshazwa. Ukuba kunjalo, ngoko thetha nomfundisi-ntsapho onovelwano.
Mncede umntwana wakho ngokumcebisa ukuba anxulumane nabantwana afunda nabo abathembekileyo aze aziphephe iindawo nezihlandlo ekuye kuxhatshazwe abanye ngazo. Umntwana onoburharha nokwaziyo ukuzithethelela ukuze aphuncule kwimeko enzima amaxesha amaninzi akayi kuba nangxaki.
Kuphephe ukuxhalaba ngokugqithisileyo, yaye musa ukukhuthaza ukuziphindezela.