Indlela Yokukhusela Abantwana Bakho Ngobulumko BukaThixo

SUKU ngalunye imizimba yethu isemfazweni. Ifanele ilwe neentsholongwane. Okuvuyisayo kukuba, inkoliso yethu inenkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela esikhusela kwiintsholongwane nesinceda ukuba sikwazi ukuphepha izifo ezininzi ezosulelayo.

Ngendlela efanayo, amaKristu amele alwe neengcinga nemilinganiselo engavisisaniyo neZibhalo kwakunye neengcinezelo ezinokusitshabalalisa ngokomoya. (2 Korinte 11:3) Ukuze sikwazi ukuzixhathisa ezi ngcinezelo zemihla ngemihla ukuba zingachaphazeli iingqondo neentliziyo zethu, sifanele sifune iindlela zokuzikhusela ngokomoya.

Iindlela ezinjalo zibaluleke nangakumbi kubantwana bethu, ekubeni bengazalwa bezazi iindlela zokuzikhusela kumoya wehlabathi. (Efese 2:2) Njengoko abantwana bekhula, kubalulekile ukuba abazali babancede bafunde ukukwazi ukuzikhusela. Zixhomekeke entwenini ezo ndlela zokuzikhusela? IBhayibhile ithi: “UYehova unika ubulumko; . . . uya kuyigcina indlela yabanyanisekileyo bakhe.” (IMizekeliso 2:6, 8) Ubulumko bukaThixo bunokwalathisa abaselula abanonxulumano oluyingozi, abajamelene nengcinezelo yoontanga okanye abazonwabisa ngendlela engafanelekanga. Abazali banokululandela njani ukhokelo lukaYehova baze babethelele ubulumko bukaThixo?

Ukufuna Unxulumano Olwakhayo

Kuyaqondakala ukuba, abakwishumi elivisayo bayathanda ukuchitha ixesha noontanga, kodwa ukunxulumana kuphela nabangenamava akuyi kubabangela babe nobulumko bukaThixo. Umzekeliso ulumkisa ngelithi: “Ubudenge bubotshiwe entliziyweni yenkwenkwe.” (IMizekeliso 22:15) Ngoko ke, abanye abazali baye babanceda njani abantwana babo basebenzise ubulumko bukaThixo ngokuphathelele unxulumano?

Omnye ubawo ogama linguDona wathi: “Oonyana bethu babechitha ixesha elininzi nabahlobo abangoontanga, kodwa ixesha elininzi babelichithela ekhaya, nathi sikho. Ikhaya lethu lalihlala livulekile yaye abaselula babedla ngokuzala kulo, sibapha ukutya size sibenze bazive besekhaya. Sakwazi ukuyinyamezela loo ngxolo neso siphithi-phithi ekhaya kuba sasifuna abantwana bethu babe kwindawo ekhuselekileyo baze bonwabe.”

UBrian noMary banabantwana abathathu kodwa bakuvuma ngokuphandle ukuba ukubaqeqesha bekungasoloko kulula. Bathi: “Ebandleni lethu, babembalwa abantwana abathe dlundlu ababenokunxulumana nentombi yethu uJane. Noko ke, wayenomnye umhlobo ogama linguSusan, owayengumntu oselula odlamkileyo nobathandayo abantu. Noko ke, abazali bakhe babekhangeleka bengekho ngqongqo njengathi. USusan wayevumelekile ukuba abuye ekhaya ebusuku kunoJane, anxibe iziketi ezifutshane, aphulaphule umculo othandabuzekayo aze abukele neefilimu ezingafanelekanga. Kangangexesha elide, uJane wayekufumanisa kunzima ukuyinqonda indlela thina esizibona ngayo izinto. Kuye, abazali bakaSusan babeziqonda kakuhle izinto, ngoxa thina sibonakala singqongqo. Kuphela kuxa uSusan waba neengxaki apho uJane waqonda khona ukuba, ukuba ngqongqo kwethu kwakumkhusela. Siyavuya kuba singakhange siyekelele koko sasikukholelwa njengokufanelekileyo ngentombi yethu.”

NjengoJane, abantu abaselula abaninzi baye bafunda ubulumko bokufuna ukhokelo lwabazali babo xa kufikelelwa kumbandela wonxulumano. Omnye umzekeliso uthi: “Indlebe esiphulaphulayo isohlwayo sobomi ihlala phakathi kwabantu abazizilumko.” (IMizekeliso 15:31) Ubulumko bukaThixo bukhokelela abaselula ukuba bafune ukunxulumana nabahlobo abakhayo.

Ukoyisa Ingcinezelo Yokuhamba Nomndilili

Enye ingxaki edla ngokubakho kunxulumano yingcinezelo yoontanga. Rhoqo, abantwana bajamelana nengcinezelo yokuhamba nomndilili nto leyo ekwenza kube nzima ukuzikhusela. Ekubeni ulutsha ludla ngokufuna ukukholisa oontanga, ingcinezelo yoontanga inokubabangela benze izinto ihlabathi elizigqala njengezinomtsalane.—IMizekeliso 29:25.

IBhayibhile iyasikhumbuza ukuba “ihlabathi liyadlula nenkanuko yalo.” (1 Yohane 2:17) Ngoko ke, abazali bafanele bangabavumeli abantwana babo baphenjelelwe kakhulu ziimbono zehlabathi. Banokubanceda njani abantwana babo bacinge ngendlela yamaKristu?

URichard uthi: “Intombi yam yayisoloko ifuna ukunxiba izinto ezinxitywa ngabanye abantwana abaselula. Ngomonde saqiqa nayo ngeenzuzo nangeengxaki zokwenza oku. Kwaneefashoni esasicinga ukuba zazifanelekile, sasebenzisa icebiso esaliva iminyaka emininzi eyadlulayo, ‘Ngumntu osisilumko ongabi ngowokuqala ukulandela ifashoni entsha yaye angabi ngowokugqibela ukuyiyeka.’”

Omnye umama ogama linguPauline wayoyisa ngenye indlela ingcinezelo yoontanga. Uthi: “Ndandiba nomdla kwizinto abantwana bam abazithandayo yaye ndandisiya rhoqo kwigumbi labo ukuze ndithethe nabo. Ukuhlala ndincokola nabo ixesha elide kwandenza ndakwazi ukubanceda kwiingcinga zabo nendlela abazijonga ngayo izinto.”

Ingcinezelo yoontanga ayisayi kuphela, ngoko ke kuyabonakala ukuba abazali baza kuqhubeka besilwa nzima ‘bebhukuqa iingcinga zehlabathi’ yaye benceda abantwana babo ukuba ‘bathimbe zonke iingcamango, bethobela uKristu.’ (2 Korinte 10:5) Kodwa ‘ngokuzingisa emthandazweni,’ abazali nabantwana baya komelela ukuze benze lo msebenzi ubalulekileyo.—Roma 12:12; INdumiso 65:2.

Umtsalane Onamandla Wokuzonwabisa

Impembelelo yesithathu abazali abasenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuhlangabezana nayo kukuzonwabisa. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana abaselula bayakuthanda ukudlala. Nabantwana abaninzi abadadlana bafuna ukuzonwabisa. (2 Timoti 2:22) Kodwa lo mnqweno, ukuba waneliswa ngendlela engeyoyabulumko, kunokubabangela bangakwazi ukuzikhusela ngokomoya. Ngamaxesha amaninzi le ngozi ivela ngeendlela ezimbini.

Okokuqala, inkoliso yendlela yokuzonwabisa ibonisa imilinganiselo yehlabathi ephantsi yokuziphatha. (Efese 4:17-19) Sekunjalo, ezi ndlela zokuzonwabisa ziboniswa njengezimnandi nezibangel’ umdla. Oku kubabeka engozini abaselula, abasenokungaziqondi ezi ngozi.

Okwesibini, ixesha elichithelwa ekuzonwabiseni linokubangela iingxaki. Kwabanye, ukonwaba kuba yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ebomini, nto leyo ethabatha ixesha namandla amaninzi. Omnye umzekeliso ulumkisa usithi “ukudla ubusi obuninzi akulunganga.” (IMizekeliso 25:27) Ngokufanayo, ukuzonwabisa ngokugqithiseleyo kuya kubangela ubani angabi namdla wezinto zokomoya kuze kukhokele ekubeni adangale ngokwasengqondweni. (IMizekeliso 21:17; 24:30-34) Ukulisebenzisa ngokupheleleyo eli hlabathi kuya kuthintela abaselula bangabubambi “ngokuqinileyo ubomi benene”—ubomi obungunaphakade kwihlabathi elitsha likaThixo. (1 Timoti 6:12, 19) Abazali baye bahlangabezana njani nale ngxaki?

UMari Carmen, umama oneentombi ezintathu, uthi: “Sasifuna iintombi zethu zizonwabise ngendlela eyakhayo zize zonwabe. Ngoko ke rhoqo sasizikhupha njengentsapho, yaye kwakhona babechitha ixesha nabahlobo abasebandleni. Kodwa sasikubeka endaweni yako ukuzonwabisa. Sasikufanisa nezimuncumuncu emva kokutya—zimnandi kodwa azikokutya okunesondlo. Bafunda ukwenza imisebenzi ekhaya, esikolweni nasebandleni.”

UDon noRuth abazange bakushiyele kumabona-ndenzile ukuzonwabisa. Bathi: “Senza umkhwa wokuba uMgqibelo ibe lusuku intsapho yayiba kunye. Sasisiya kwinkonzo yasentsimini ekuseni, siye kudada emva kwemini, size sitye ukutya okukhethekileyo ngokuhlwa.”

Oku kuthethwa ngaba bazali kubonisa ukubaluleka kokulungelelana xa sizonwabisa size sikubeke kwindawo efanelekileyo kubomi bomKristu.—INtshumayeli 3:4; Filipi 4:5.

Kholosa NgoYehova

Kakade ke, kuthabatha iminyaka emininzi ukuze ubani afunde iindlela zokuzikhusela ngokomoya. Ayikho indlela engummangaliso yokufundisa abantwana ubulumko bukaThixo, ubenze bakholose ngoBawo wabo osemazulwini. Kunoko, abazali bafanele ‘baqhubeke bebakhulisela kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova.’ (Efese 6:4) ‘Ukweyiselwa kwengqondo’ okuqhubekayo kuthetha ukubanceda abantwana bazijonge izinto ngendlela uThixo azijonga ngayo. Abazali banokukwenza njani oku?

Eyona nto engundoqo enokukwenza uphumelele kukufundisisa iBhayibhile. Esi sifundo ‘sivula amehlo abantwana ukuze bakhangele kwizinto ezimangalisayo ezisemthethweni kaThixo.’ (INdumiso 119:18) UDiego wayesigqala njengesibalulekileyo isifundo sentsapho yaye ngaloo ndlela wabanceda abantwana bakhe basondela kuYehova. Wathi: “Ndandisilungiselela kakuhle isifundo. Ngokwenza uphando kwiimpapasho zeZibhalo, ndafunda ukuthetha ngabantu abaseBhayibhileni njengabantu abaphilayo. Ndandibakhuthaza abantwana ukuba bafumanise indlela ubomi babo obufana ngayo nobo babantu ababenokholo. Oku kwakubakhumbuza kakuhle abantwana bam ngoko kumkholisayo uYehova.”

Kwakhona abantwana bafunda kwiimeko ezingacwangciswanga. UMoses wabongoza abazali ukuba bathethe ngemithetho kaYehova ‘ekuhlaleni kwabo endlwini yabo, nasekuhambeni kwabo ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwabo, nasekuvukeni kwabo.’ (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Omnye ubawo wathi: “Unyana wam uthabath’ ixesha ngaphambi kokuba athethe ngokukhululekileyo. Xa sihambahamba kunye okanye sisenza into ethile kunye, ekugqibeleni ude akhululeke ade aphalaze imbilini yakhe. Ngala maxesha, siba nencoko emnandi esizuzisa sobabini.”

Kwakhona abantwana bafunda okuthile kwimithandazo yabazali. Ukuva abazali babo bezithoba kuThixo bethandaza befuna uncedo yaye befuna ukuxolelwa kubangela abantwana ‘bakholwe ukuba ukho.’ (Hebhere 11:6) Abazali abaninzi abaye baphumelela babethelela ukubaluleka kokuthandaza njengentsapho, phakathi kwezinto abazithandazelayo yimibandela yesikolo nezinye izinto ezikhathaza abantwana babo. Omnye ubawo wathi umfazi wakhe udla ngokuthandaza nabantwana ngaphambi kokuba baye esikolweni.—INdumiso 62:8; 112:7.

“Masingayeki Ukwenza Okuhle”

Bonke abazali bayazenza iimpazamo yaye basenokuzisola ngendlela abaye bahlangabezana ngayo neemeko ezithile. Sekunjalo, iBhayibhile iyasibongoza ukuba siqhubeke sizama, “singayeki ukwenza okuhle.”—Galati 6:9.

Noko ke, abazali banokuziva befuna ukunikezela xa bengabaqondi kakuhle abantwana babo. Kunokuba lula ukuqiqa ngelithi isizukulwana sangoku sahlukile yaye siyinkathazo. Kodwa, ngokwenene abantwana banamhlanje banobuthathaka obufanayo nezizukulwana zangaphambili, yaye bajamelana nezilingo ezifanayo, nangona ingcinezelo yokunxaxha iba qatha ngakumbi. Ngoko ke, omnye utata, emva kokukhalimela unyana wakhe, ngobubele wongezelela esithi: “Intliziyo yakho ifuna ukwenza kanye oko ndandifuna ukukwenza xa ndandingangawe.” Kusenokwenzeka ukuba abazali abazi nto ingako ngeekhompyutha, kodwa balwazi kwakuhle utyekelo lwenyama engafezekanga.—Mateyu 26:41; 2 Korinte 2:11.

Mhlawumbi abanye abantwana abalulandeli ukhokelo lwabazali babo baze babe nemvukelo xa belulekwa. Noko ke, kwakhona kubalulekile ukunyamezela. Phezu kwako nje ukungeva nokuvukela ekuqaleni, abantwana abaninzi ekugqibeleni bayaphulaphula. (IMizekeliso 22:6; 23:22-25) UMatthew, umKristu oselula ngoku osebenza kwiofisi yesebe yamaNgqina kaYehova, uthi: “Xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo, kwakungathi abazali bam bandidlel’ indlala. Ndandiqiqa ngelithi, xa abazali babahlobo bam bebavumela ukuba benze okuthile, kutheni abam bengandivumeli nje? Yaye ndandicaphuka nakakhulu, xa ngamaxesha athile, bebendohlwaya ngokungandivumeli ukuba ndihambe ngephenyane—into endandiyithanda gqitha. Noko ke, xa ndibuyel’ umva ngokucinga, ndiyaqonda ukuba uqeqesho endandilufumana kubazali bam lwalusebenza yaye lufanelekile. Ndiyababulela kuba bandinika ukhokelo endandulufuna xa lwalufuneka.”

Alithandabuzeki elokuba—nangona abantwana bethu maxa wambi benokuba phakathi kwabantu abangaphilanga ngokomoya, basenokukhula babe ngamaKristu alungileyo. Njengokuba iBhayibhile ithembisa, ubulumko bukaThixo bunokubabangela babe neendlela zokuzikhusela ngokomoya. “Xa ubulumko bungena entliziyweni yakho nolwazi luthandeka emphefumlweni wakho, amandla okucinga aya kukulinda, ukuqonda kuya kukulondoloza, ukuze kukuhlangule endleleni embi, emntwini othetha izinto ezigwenxa.”—IMizekeliso 2:10-12.

Ukugcina usana esibelekweni iinyanga ezisithoba akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Yaye iminyaka engama-20 elandelayo inokubangela intlungu kwangaxeshanye ivuyise. Kodwa kuba bebathanda abantwana babo, abazali abangamaKristu bazabalaza ngamandla abo onke ukuba babakhusele ngobulumko bukaThixo. Indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngabantwana babo iyafana neyompostile uYohane owayesaluphele ngokuphathelele abantwana bakhe bokomoya nowathi: “Andinaluvuyo lungaphezu kolu lokuba ndive ukuba abantwana bam bahamba enyanisweni.”—3 Yohane 4.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]

“Ikhaya lethu lalihlala livulekile yaye abaselula babedla ngokuzala kulo”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Bonakalisa umdla kwizinto abantwana bakho abazithandayo

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 26]

“Ndandisilungiselela kakuhle isifundo”