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  • Ndinokuhlala Njani Kwikhaya Elahluleleneyo Ngokonqulo?
  • Vukani!—1991
  • Imixholwana
  • Amanqaku Afanayo
  • Imigibe Efanele Iphetshwe
  • Ukwenza Ukhetho Lwakho Lonqulo
  • Ukuzuza Umzali Wakho Ongakholwayo
  • Ndiqhubana Njani Nomzali Oye Wemka Ekhaya?
    Vukani!—1990
  • Kuthekani Ukuba Umzali Wam Ulikhoboka Leziyobisi Okanye Lotywala?
    Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo, Umqulu 2
  • Ngaba Le Yintlungu Eqhelekileyo?
    Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo, Umqulu 1
  • Ndinokumnceda Njani Umzali Wam Omnye?
    Vukani!—1991
Khangela Okunye
Vukani!—1991
g91 2/8 iphe. 21-23

Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuhlala Njani Kwikhaya Elahluleleneyo Ngokonqulo?

“Kwakungelula ekukhuleni kwethu. Utata wayelucekisa unqulo lwethu. Kwakusoloko kukho ukungakhululeki endlwini.”​—⁠UTerry.

NGABA uhlala kwikhaya elahluleleneyo ngokonqulo? Ukuba kunjalo, uyayazi indlela izinto ezinokuxaka nezinokuba nzima ngayo. UMama noTata basenokuzinyamezela kakuhle kakhulu iinkolelo zomnye, kodwa kunjengokuba uS. Sandmel waphawulayo kwincwadi yakhe ethi When a Jew and Christian Marry: “Ngaba ukunyamezela komntu unqulo lweqabane kufikelela nasekuvumeleni abantwana bakhuliswe kolo nqulo? Impendulo enyanisekileyo kwiimeko ezininzi ithi hayi.”

Ngokomzekelo, qwalasela okusenokwenzeka ukuba omnye wabazali bakho uliNgqina likaYehova. Loo mzali uvakalelwa kuyimfuneko enzulu ukuba akukhulisele “ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni kweNkosi” yaye usenokuba neembono ezibukhali kakhulu ngokwenza amadinga, ngemilinganiselo yokuziphatha, ngokuthabatha inxaxheba kwimidlalo yesikolo, ngokusebenzisa ixesha ongasebenziyo ngalo nangosukelo lwakho lomsebenzi. (Efese 6:⁠4) Noko ke, umzali wakho ongeloNgqina usenokuba nembono eyekelele ngakumbi ngale mibandela.

Ngemva kwemini yangeCawa uMama usenokufuna uye naye kwintlanganiso yamaKristu. UTata usenokufuna uhlale naye ekhaya uze ubukele umdlalo webhola kumabonwakude. UDoug ukhumbula oku: “Kwakukho amaxesha endandiye ndimsizele utata. Wayengumthengisi, ngoko sasingamboni phakathi kweveki, yaye ngoko ngempela-veki, intsapho yayimshiya ngasemva xa isiya kwiintlanganiso zayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, bendiye ndiphoswe yintlanganiso ndize ndishiyeke naye.”

UYesu wabona kwangaphambili ukuba iimeko ezinjalo zaziya kubakho. Wathi: “Kuba ndize kubambanisa umntu noyise, intombi nonina, umolokazana noninazala. Zaye iintshaba zomntu ziya kuba ngabendlu yakhe.” (Mateyu 10:​35, 36) Asikuko ukuba uYesu wahlulahlula iintsapho ngabom, kodwa wayesazi ukuba kwakuya kuvela iingxaki xa amanye amalungu entsapho esamkela unqulo lokwenyaniso aze amanye angenjinjalo. Umbuzo ngulo: Yintoni ofanele uyenze ukuba ukwimeko enjalo?

Imigibe Efanele Iphetshwe

Okokuqala, qonda ukuba usukelo lukukukholisa, kungekhona nje omnye wabazali bakho, kodwa uThixo! Nguye ofuna ‘ukunqulwa ngomoya nangenyaniso.’ (Yohane 4:​24) Kodwa ukwenza njalo kwikhaya elahluleleneyo ngonqulo, kukho imigibe efanele iphetshwe.

Ukulalanisa​—⁠Enye inkwenkwe ekwishumi elivisayo enabazali abaqhawula umtshato ithi ngokutyelela utata wayo ongakholwayo: “Uzama ukundenza ndihambe nxamnye nenyaniso noThixo.” Ukwenza oku ngokucinezela unyana wakhe ukuba athabathe inxaxheba kwimibhiyozo yeeholide ezingezozabuKristu. Le nkwenkwe ivuma oku: “Oku kundenza ndizive ndingonwabanga kakhulu.” Kodwa uYesu usikhumbuza oku: “Lowo uthanda uyise nokuba ngunina kunam, akandifanele mna.” (Mateyu 10:​37) Ngoko kumele ngokuqinileyo oko ukukholelwayo! Ukuba ukwala ngobulumko ukwenza into embi akumanelisi, mazise ngobubele kodwa ngokuqinileyo umzali wakho ukuba uyala ukulalanisa. Njengoko umzali wakho ebona uzimiselo lwakho olungagungqiyo, ingcinezelo isenokuhla ngokuthe ngcembe.

Noko ke, kukho imfuneko yolungelelwano. EyabaseFilipi 4:⁠5 ithi: “Ukuthantamisa kwenu makwazeke kubantu bonke.” Ukuthantamisa kubandakanya ukuyekelela, ukuba bhetyebhetye. Mhlawumbi unokucwangcisa izinto ukuze ukwazi ukuchitha ixesha elingakumbi nomzali ongakholwayo ukuba uvakalelwa engakhathalelwanga. Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba unembopheleleko kubazali bakho bobabini.​—⁠Efese 6:⁠1.

Ukudlala ‘unam nawe’​—⁠Ngenxa yembono engachananga yokwenza ubulungisa, usenokulingelwa ukuthabatha icala likaMama kwimibandela yonqulo kuba nje umntakwenu eye wathabatha icala likaTata⁠—​okanye umntakwenu elikaMama wena elikaTata. Kodwa ngaba eso sisiseko esiqinileyo sokunyula indlela yokunqula uThixo? Kuthekani ukuba iimbono zikaMama ngonqulo ziphosakele, azizozazibhalo? IMizekeliso 23:​23 icebisa ngokuthi: “Thenga inyaniso, ungathengisi ngayo.”

Landela inkokeli​—⁠Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa usondele ngakumbi kumntakwenu okanye kudade wenu omdala kunaye nawuphi na omnye umzali kubazali bakho. Ngaloo ndlela usenokutyekela ekulandeleni nawuphi na umendo ongokonqulo ubani lowo anyula ukuhamba kuwo. URoberto uthi: “Leyo yindlela endandivakalelwa ngayo, njengoko ndivela kwintsapho enkulu.” Ngoko ke akazange enze nkqubela ngokomoya xa umntakwabo omdala walulahla ngokupheleleyo unqulo lokwenyaniso waza washiya ikhaya. Uvuma oku: “Kwakudimaza kakhulu.” Ingakhathaliseki indlela osenokuvakalelwa usondele ngayo kumntakwenu, ngaba bekungayi kuba bubudenge obupheleleyo ukuvumela ukuba akutyekise ekukhonzeni uThixo?

‘Ukwahlulahlula nokweyisa’​—⁠UDoug ukhumbula oku: “Xa ndandineminyaka emalunga ne-19, utata waqalisa ukundikhuthazela ukuba ndenze amadinga. UMama, owayengumKristu obhaptiziweyo, wayekuchase ngokupheleleyo oko. Ngequbuliso ndazibona ndixhasa uTata, nangona ndandisazi ukuba oko kwakuthethwa nguMama kwakulungile.” Apho abazali banemilinganiselo eyahlukahlukeneyo yokuziphatha, maninzi amathuba okwenza into engavumelekanga komnye umzali kodwa ivunyelwa ngomnye kuba ufuna ukuzanelisa. Unokulingelewa ukuba uzibandakanye ngokupheleleyo nomzali onguvula-zibhuqe.

Noko ke, ukuthelekisa abazali akuncedi nto ngaphandle kokwandisa iingxaki zentsapho. Yaye ukufuna imvume yokwenza into oyaziyo ukuba ayibobulumko okanye iphosakele akukuthetheleli phambi koThixo. “Kowaziyo ukwenza okuhle, angakwenzi, kulowo kusisono.” (Yakobi 4:​17) Kunokusebenzisa umzali okunika inkululeko eninzi, kutheni ungazami ukuthobela umzali okwalathisela ‘kwindlela yobomi’?​—⁠IMizekeliso 6:⁠23.

Ukwenza Ukhetho Lwakho Lonqulo

Sekunjalo, olunye ulutsha lusenokudideka ngenene ngomzali osenokuba ngoyena ufanelekileyo. Unokugqiba njani? IBhayibhile isixelela ngomfana ogama linguTimoti owakhulela ekhayeni elahluleleneyo ngonqulo. Uchazwa ‘njengonyana wentokazi ethile engumYudakazi okholwayo, kodwa uyise engumGrike.’ (IZenzo 16:⁠1) Ngamaxesha athile uTimoti umele ukuba wayevakalelwa ahlulwe phakathi ngabazali bakhe. Sekunjalo, wamkela ukholo olungokonqulo lukanina waza waba liqabane elihambahambayo lompostile uPawulos. (IZenzo 16:​2, 3) Ngaba le yayiyimeko yokuthanda unina ngaphezu koyise? Akunjalo konke konke.

Umpostile uPawulos wabhalela uTimoti oku: “Ke wena yima ezintweni owazifundayo, waqiniselwa kuzo, umazi owazifunda kuye; nokuba uzaze kwasebuntwaneni izibhalo ezingcwele, ezinako ukukulumkisela elusindisweni ngokukholwa kuKristu Yesu.” (2 Timoti 3:​14, 15) Ngokuphuma koku sinokugqiba ngokuthi uTimoti walwenza ukhetho lwakhe ngokusekelwe ekufundisiseni iLizwi likaThixo ngokuzimisela! ‘Waqiniselwa,’ weyiselwa ukulikholelwa.

Kunokwenza ukhetho ngokusekelwe kwiimbono okanye kwimvakalelo, hlolisisa iinkolelo zabazali bakho ngokukhanyiselwa ‘zizibhalo ezingcwele.’a Ekugqibeleni wena, kungekhona uMama okanye uTata, unembopheleleko yokulusebenza ulufeze usindiso lwakho!​—⁠Filipi 2:⁠12.

Ukuzuza Umzali Wakho Ongakholwayo

Wakuba ugqibe entliziyweni yakho ukulandela unqulo lokwenyaniso, ngoko, ufanele umjonge njani umzali wakho ongakholwayo? Umpostile uPawulos wakhuthaza amaKristu ukuba azame ukuzuza amaqabane awo angakholwayo esithi: “Khawucinge ngako oku: njengomfazi usenokuyisindisa indoda yakho; njengendoda usenokumsindisa umfazi wakho.” (1 Korinte 7:​12-16, The New English Bible) Ngokomgaqo, ngaba oku akunakusebenza kubantwana babantu abangakholwayo?

Ihambo yakho enyulu nentlonelo yakho enzulu ngomzali wakho zinokwenza okuninzi ekumncedeni achukumiseke ngobuKristu bokwenyaniso. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kaPetros 3:​1, 2.) Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba ukumela inyaniso akuthethi ukuba nangayiphi na indlela unxamnye nomzali ongakholwayo. Eneneni, ngokuqhubeka unobubele, unentobelo yaye usebenzisana, unokumqinisekisa loo mzali ngothando lwakho olungenakutshitsha.

“Ukuthi cwaka kunexesha lako, ukuthetha kunexesha lako.” (INtshumayeli 3:⁠7) Ukuba kuvela ithuba lokuthetha ngeenkolelo zakho nomzali wakho, yenza njalo ngazo zonke iindlela! IMizekeliso 3:​27 isikhumbuza oku: “Musa ukwala nento elungileyo kolunge nayo.” Kodwa yiba nobubele nobuchule. Kuphephe ukuthetha ngendelelo kumzali wakho kuba usenokuba wazi okungakumbi ngeBhayibhile. Ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi imigudu yakho iya kuba nomphumo. UJay ukhumbula oku: “UTata wayechase ngokukrakra kangangeminyaka. Kwakungathi wayengayi kuze aguquke, kodwa ekugqibeleni samzuza.” Xa utata kaJay wafayo kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo, wayekhonza njengomdala ongumKristu.

Ukuba akukho ntsabelo, khumbula amazwi kaDavide kwiNdumiso 27:​10 athi: “Ngokuba ubawo noma bandishiyile, wesuka uYehova wandichola.” Ukwaxhaswa nangabahlobo abanyanisekileyo kwibandla lamaKristu, ‘abanokunamathela kunomzalwana.’ (IMizekeliso 18:​24) Ngoncedo lwabo nangoncedo lomzali wakho okholwayo, unokuyimela ngokuqinileyo inyaniso.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

a Bona inqaku elinomxholo othi “Kutheni Ndifanele Ndamkele Unqulo Lwabazali Bam?” kuVukani! (wesiNgesi) kaNovemba 22, 1986, nothi “Ngaba IBhayibhile Inyanisile Ngokwenene?” kuVukani! (wesiNgesi) kaJuni 8, 1987.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 23]

Ngokuthelekisa abazali usenokwenza okuthandayo, kodwa ekugqibeleni, kwandisa iingxaki entsatsheni

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