Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokuba Ngumgcini Wabantwana Olungileyo Njani?
‘SINGATHANDA ukuba ugcine umnakwenu nodade wenu omncinane.’
Enoba isabelo esinjalo usijonga njengesiyingxaki ecaphukisayo okanye njengesibonakalisa ukuba unyulwa kuba uthenjwa, ingcamango yokushiywa wedwa kunye nabantakwenu isenokukwenza ungakhululeki. Usenokuzibuza oku: ‘Kuthekani ukuba abathobeli? Kuthekani ukuba kungena isela okanye kuyatsha? Yaye kuthekani ukuba omnye wabo uyenzakala okanye agule?’
Unesizathu sokuba nenkxalabo. Ngapha koko, abantwana abazizo izinto nje okanye izinto zokudlala kodwa bangabantu abaneemfuno ezikhetheke kakhulu. Baxabisekile kokubini kubazali babo nakuThixo. (INdumiso 127:3) Ngoko enoba unyamekela abantakwenu okanye ugcina abantwana njengomsebenzi wempangelo, ukunyamekela abantwana kungumsebenzi ozisa imbopheleleko nofuna inyameko. Noko ke, ukuba unesimo sengqondo esilungileyo yaye ucebe kakuhle, unokuphumelela.
Ngaba Unguzwilakhe Okanye Unenyameko?
Olunye ulutsha lubonakala ngathi luvakalelwa kukuba isabelo sokugcina abantwana sikukumiselwa ukuba ube nguzwilakhe. Enye intombazana yakhalaza yathi, “Udade wethu wayeye angandivumeli ukuba ndenze oku, engayi kundivumela nokuba ndenze okuya! Ndazama ukumyekisa ukuba andiyalele, yaye wandiqhwaba ngempama!” Enye inkwenkwe eselula ithi: “Ndandigcinwa ngumnakwethu nangudade wethu abadala kunam, yaye iyamangalisa indlela abakhawuleza ngayo ukuba negunya!”
Ukukhupha imiyalelo njengokuba esenza umqeqeshi womthambo kusenokubonakala kumnandi. Kodwa ukuba abazali bakho bayakufumanisa oko—njengoko kusenokwenzeka benjenjalo—“ulawulo” lwakho lusenokufikelela esiphelweni esikhawuleze ngokubangela iintloni. IMizekeliso 11:2 ilumkisa ngokuthi: “Kwafika ukukhukhumala, kofika ukucukucezwa.”
Lo mzekeliso ukwamnye uqhubeka uthi: “Bunabathozamileyo ubulumko.” Ukuthozama kuquka ukuzazi izinto osikelwe umda kuzo. Yaye isibakala sikukuba ngabazali—kungekhona abagcini babantwana—abamiselwe nguThixo ukuba bakhulise baze baqeqeshe abantwana. (Efese 6:4) Indima yakho yileyo yokunikela inkuselo nenyameko.
Ukunyamekela Abantwana Ngobuchule
Oku akuthethi kuthi abantwana banokuyekelelwa nje benze unothanda ukuze ukwazi ukuzonwabisa ngokubukela umabonwakude okanye ukufunda. “Umntwana oyekelelweyo udanisa unina”—yaye uyingxaki enkulu kumgcini wabantwana! (IMizekeliso 29:15) Ngelishwa, abeshumi elivisayo abasoloko bebalawula ngobuchule abantwana abangathobeliyo.
Elinye iqela labeshumi elivisayo baseUnited States lavavanywa kule nkalo laza labuzwa indlela elaliya kuzisingatha ngayo iimeko eziqhele ukubakho ebudeni bokugcina abantwana. Ngokutsho kukalindixesha othi Adolescence, sisi-8 ekhulwini solutsha kuphela esabonisa ukuba sasiya kuyisingatha imibandela ngendlela eyayilungele iimvakalelo zabantwana. Ama-92 ekhulwini aseleyo atyekela ekusebenziseni amacebo angenampumelelo, anjengokuyalela, ukukhalimela nezisongelo. Abaphengululi baqukumbela ngokuthi abafikisa kubuntu obukhulu “batyekela ekubeni ngabangakhathaliyo kulwalamano lwabo nabantakwabo abaselula.”
Unokuqhubana njani nabantwana ngokunempumelelo nangobuchule? Abalusi abangamaKristu babongozwa ngokuthi: “Khuthalela ukubazi ubume bempahla yakho emfutshane, yibhekise intliziyo yakho emihlambini yakho.” (IMizekeliso 27:23) Ngokufanayo, ufanele uzabalazele ukuqonda iimfuno neemvakalelo zabantwana obanyamekelayo. Bazi njengabantu ngabanye. Kungekudala uza kufumanisa ukuba abantwana abancinane abanawo nje umlinganiselo wokunikela ingqalelo, umonde, okanye amandla omntu omkhulu. Kunoko, “abantwana bathambile.” (Genesis 33:13) Baba sempilweni xa bethandwa yaye benikelwe ingqalelo kodwa basenokukhawuleza bakruquke yaye bangahlali bezolile.
Ukusebenzisa Umthetho Omkhulu
Ngoko, maxa wambi abantwana bayathabatheka ekudlaleni kwabo yaye basenokukucaphukisa. Basenokuzichanaba engozini ngokungakhathali. Okanye basenokuzama ukukuvavanya ukubona ukuba kungakanani abanokukwenza bengakhalinyelwa. (UDouglas oneminyaka esixhenxe ubudala uvuma oku: “Maxa wambi ndidlala ngabo abantu abandigcinayo.”) Xa oku kusenzeka, musa ukuba nomsindo. Sebenzisa uMthetho Omkhulu othi: “Soloko uphatha abanye ngendlela obuya kuthanda bakuphathe ngayo.”—Mateyu 7:12, The New English Bible.
Khumbula ukuba “ukumatha kubotshiwe entliziyweni yomntwana,” yaye nawe ubusenza ngokufanayo kwiminyaka nje engephi edluleyo. (IMizekeliso 22:15) Gxininisa ekulungiseni iingxaki (“masicoce kulaa ndawo ichithelweyo”) kunokugxeka umntwana. Kuphephe ukuvutha ngumsindo ‘nokuphololoza njengokuhlaba kwekrele.’ (IMizekeliso 12:18) Ukuthi umntwana “usisidenge” okanye “usisiphukuphuku” kukumthuka yaye kusenokumenzakalisa umntwana. IMizekeliso 29:11 isikhumbuza oku: “Isinyabi siya kukhupha konke ukufutha kwaso, ke sona isilumko sikudambisela embilinini yaso.” Enye intombazana eselula engumKristu ithi: “Xa ndiziva ndifuna ukubetha udade wethu oneminyaka esibhozo ubudala, ndiyathandaza, yaye oko kuyandinceda ndilawule umsindo wam.”
Maxa wambi iingxaki zinokuthintelwa ukuba uba nesimo sengqondo esihle. Ihambo entle enomvuzo isenokukunceda kunothotho lwezisongelo zokumohlwaya. Kwakhona, abantwana basenokungakruquki yaye bahlale bezolile ukuba uceba imidlalo engeyongozi eyolisayo, enjengemidlalo oyiyile ngokwakho. (Thelekisa uMateyu 11:16, 17.) Mhlawumbi uyayikhumbula eminye yemidlalo owawuyidlala ungumntwana—okanye unokuyila eminye emitsha. Usekwanokuzama ukufunda amacandelo athandwa ngumntwana empapasho ethi Ukuphulaphula KuMfundisi Omkhulu okanye ethi Incwadi Yam Yamabali EBhayibhile.a
Maxa wambi abantwana bayalufuna uqeqesho. Kodwa kulunge kakhulu ukuba ukuxubushe nabazali bakho oko ufanele ukwenze kule nkalo. Oku kunjalo ingakumbi ukuba uqeshelwe ukugcina umntwana. Inkoliso yeengxaki inokulinda de abazali babuye ekhaya. Yaye uzibeka esichengeni sokwenzakalisa umntwana (kungasakhankanywa ke ukuxhokonxa umsindo womzali) ukuba usebenzisa izigalo. IMizekeliso 13:10 ilumkisa ngokuthi: “Ngokukhukhumala kuvuka ukulwa kuphela; ubulumko bunabavuma ukucetyiswa.”
Ukukhusela Abantwana Bangenzakali
Kwincwadi yakhe ethi The Babysitter’s Handbook uBarbara Benton ulumkisa ngokuthi: “Ukungazinzi kwakhe, ukufuna ukwazi kwakhe nokungakwazi kwakhe ngokupheleleyo ukwenza ugwebo xa kudibene kumenza umntwana abe lixhoba eliyintloko lazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezinokwenzeka ebantwaneni. Kufuneka usoloko ukuphaphele—yaye ukhawuleza—ukumgcina ekhuselekile.” UStephanie okwishumi elivisayo wafumanisa indlela okuyinyaniso ngayo oku. Ukhumbula oku: “Ndandigcine umtshana wam. Ngequbuliso waqalisa ukumiwa yiPopsicle! Kwafuneka ukuba ndiyikhuphe emlonyeni wakhe, yaye ndandisoyika ngokwenene!”
Inkoliso yeengozi ezimbi inokuthintelwa ukuba uneliso elibukhali ebantwaneni. UBarbara Benton unikela amanye amacebiso esithi: “Yenza umjikelo wokuhlolisisa ukuze ufumane uze ushenxise naziphi na izinto ezinokuba yingozi.” Ufanele uyazi indawo esisikhululo sombane, enesixhobo sokucima umlilo nenezixhobo zoncedo lokuqala. Funda indlela yokusebenzisa izixhobo zasekhaya ngokufanelekileyo nangokukhuselekileyo. Usenokwenza uluhlu lwezinto ezifuna ukukhangelwa ukuqinisekisa ukhuseleko eziquka izinto ezinjengeefestile (ngaba zivaliwe?), izinyuko (ngaba akukho zinto ziyingozi kuzo?), iindawo ekuhlonyelwa kuzo iintambo zombane (ngaba zigqunywe ngokufanelekileyo?), ityhefu namayeza (ngaba abekwe kwindawo efanelekileyo abangenakufikelela kuyo abantwana?), iintambo zombane (ngaba ziqhushekwe kakuhle?), izitshixo zendlu (ngaba zikho ezinye ukuze ungazitshixeli ngaphandle?).
Usekwanokuzilungiselela kangangoko unako ukusingatha iimeko zongxamiseko. Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo ithi: “Ndathabatha izifundo zokugcina abantwana esikolweni yaye ndafunda uncedo lokuqala lweentsana nabantwana.” Mhlawumbi izifundo ezinjalo ziyafumaneka kwisikolo ofunda kuso. Kukwabalulekile ukulugcina lukufuphi uludwe oluneenombolo zemfonomfono yamapolisa, yesebe lomlilo, yogqirha wentsapho, yasesibhedlele neyeziko elinikela uncedo ngokuphathelele izinto eziyityhefu. Yazi indlela yokuqhagamshelana nabazali bakho yaye mhlawumbi nabamelwane abanokunceda ebunzimeni.
Ukuba kubakho ingozi okanye imeko yongxamiseko, MUSA UKUPHAKUZELA! ‘Sona isilumko siwudambisela embilinini waso [umoya waso].’ (IMizekeliso 29:11) Ngokomzekelo, umntwana usenokuginya ityhefu. Ngokukhawuleza tsalela umnxeba esibhedlele okanye kwiziko elinikela uncedo ngokuphathelele izinto eziyityhefu. Ukuba oko akunakwenzeka, funda ngenyameko imiyalelo ekwiphetshana elihamba naloo nto ayiginyileyo nelinikela isilumkiso. Ukuyihlolisisa ngokuzolileyo imeko kulunge ngakumbi kunokwenza into engebobulumko (enjengokubangela ukuba ahlanze) enokuthi yenze imeko ibe mbi ngakumbi. Yaye njengoko kusenokuphazamisa yaye mhlawumbi kubangele ukuphoxeka, qiniseka ukuba uyakuxela nakuphi na ukwenzakala okanye iingozi kubazali bomntwana. Banelungelo lokwazi okuye kwenzeka, yaye banokugqiba enoba amanyathelo abhekele phaya afanele athatyathwe kusini na.
Ukugcina abantwana kusenokubonakala ngathi kuyimbopheleleko enkulu—yaye kuyiyo. Kodwa kungumzekelo nje woko abazali bakho baye bakwenza ukutyhubela iminyaka bekunyamekela. Ngoko wuthabathe nzulu umsebenzi wakho. Njengoko uya uzithemba yaye usiba namava, usenokukuvuza yaye unandipheke kuwe.
[Umbhalo osemazantsi]
a Zipapashwe yiWatchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 21]
Amacebiso Okugcina Abantwana
Yiba nobuchule. Qiniseka ukuba kuvunyelwene ngokucacileyo ngomvuzo wakho.
Ncokolisana nabaqeshi bakho. Fumanisa kusengaphambili oko kuya kubandakanywa yimisebenzi yakho.
Fika ngexesha yaye ube ngonokuthenjwa.
Bazi abantwana kwangaphambili.
Yazi imithetho yelo khaya.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 20]
Kufanele kunikelwe ingqalelo enyanisekileyo ebantwaneni ukuze bakhuseleke ekwenzakaleni