Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokuyixhathisa Njani Ingcinezelo Yokutshaya?
“Kundenza ndikhululeke, kundenza ndonwabe ndize ndibe seluxolweni.”
“Kuphelis’ isithukuthezi.”
“Kukwenza uzive unqabiseke ngakumbi.”
‘Kunento yokwenza nezandla zam.’
EZI zizizathu ezanikelwa ngabathile abakwishumi elivisayo xa babebuzwa isizathu sokuba batshaye. (Teens Speak Out) Ewe, phezu kwako nje ukulunyukiswa kwabantu ngomhlaza wemiphunga, iemphysema nesifo sentliziyo, ukutshaya kusenomtsalane ongaxhathisekiyo kulutsha oluninzi. Mhlawumbi usenokuba uye walingelwa ekubeni nawe ukuzame.
Imithombo yeendaba ikuhlasela ngemifanekiso yamadoda namabhinqa anomtsalane, anxibe kakuhle asoloko etshaya. Akukho namnye kuwo obonakala egula ngumhlaza. Okanye usenokuziva uphantsi kwengcinezelo yoontanga yokuba ukhe ukulinge. Esikolweni basenokukuxwaxwa bekucel’ umngeni, njengokuthi, ‘Kutheni uligwala nje?’ ‘Bonk’ abantu abadumileyo bayatshaya.’ Yaye ukuba uphakathi kolutsha olutshayayo, unokuziva ungamkelekanga ukuba akunamdiza esandleni sakho.
Ingcinezelo yokutshaya isenokuvela nasekhaya. Ukuba omnye umzali akatshayi kodwa omnye umzali ukhetha ukutshaya, oku kusenokukudida ngeyona ndlela. Yaye ukuba abazali bobabini bayatshaya, ingcinezelo isenokude ibe yenkulu ngakumbi. URebecca oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala uthi: ‘Abazali bam batshaya iipakethe ezimbini ngosuku, ngoko kusoloko kukho imidiza kuyo yonke indawo.’ Ukuxelelwa ngabazali abanjalo ukuba ufanele ungatshayi kusenokubonakala njengohanahaniso olugqithiseleyo! UAllison oselula ukhalaza ngelithi: “Ukuba sixelela abazali bethu ukuba sinenkxalabo ngempilo yabo, abaphulaphuli. Ngoko yintoni enokubenza balindele ukuba thina sibaphulaphule?”—The Private Life of the American Teenager.
Enoba lunaziphi na izizathu, ulutsha oluninzi lugqiba kwelokuba malukhe lulinge ukutshaya yaye ngokufuthi luba ngamakhoboka ako ngexesha lalo lokudla ubomi.a Sinethemba lokuba ufuna ukwenza eyona nto ilunge ngakumbi ngesiqu sakho. Uyayazi imiphumo emibi yokutshaya yaye akuboni sizathu sokuba uzivele ngokobuqu. Sekunjalo, usenokuzibuza indlela onokumelana ngayo nengcinezelo enamandla yokutshaya.
Ukuba Neentloni Xa Uphakathi Kwabanye
Makhe siqale sijonge ezinye zezizathu zokuba ulutsha lutshaye. Njengolutsha olukhankanywe ekuqaleni, abaninzi bathi ukubamba umdiza kubenza babonakale bezinze ngakumbi yaye “bekhulile.” UOren oselula wayekukholelwa oku njengokuyinyaniso kwimeko yakhe. Eneentloni kakhulu phakathi kwabanye, ukhumbula oku: “Ndandingakhululekanga, ingakumbi emathekweni. Ndandingayazi into emandiyenze okanye emandiyithethe. Ukutshaya kwabonakala kusisicombululo kwingxaki yam.”
Noko ke, ukutsala nokukhupha umsi onobungozi ngokwenene kwenza ubani abonakale esisiyatha, enganqabisekanga kwaye engenalwazelelelo. Ulutsha oluya lusanda ngenani luqalisa ukukubona ngale ndlela oku. Kuhlolisiso olwenziwa nguJane Rinzler, ama-63 ekhulwini amantombazana nama-73 ekhulwini amakhwenkwe ekwadliwan’ iindlebe nawo akugxeka ukutshaya! Enye intombazana ene-16 leminyaka ubudala yathi: “Abantu bacinga ukuba kubenza babonakale bebalulekile [ukutshaya], kodwa ngokwenene kubonakala ngathi benza umzamo onzima gqitha.” Nokuba ukutshaya kwenze ubani ‘abonakale ebalulekile,’ ngaba oko kuba sisizathu sokuqalisa lo mkhwa utshabalalisayo nokhobokisayo?
Noko ke, okubangela umdla kukuba uMaurice Falk, injingalwazi kwezemfundo nokunyanga izifo zengqondo zabantwana, uthi: “Abantu abaselula abayaziyo into amabayenze kwiindawo ezinabantu abaninzi baziva bengenazintloni. . . . Abanakufane batshaye.” Oku kungqineke kuyinyaniso kulutsha oluninzi lwamaNgqina kaYehova. Ukuthetha nabantu abakubudala obahlukahlukeneyo kumsebenzi wokushumayela wasesidlangalaleni kulwenza luzinze kwaye aluzoyikiseli. Ngokusebenzisa ucwangciso lwemfundo olunikelwa kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu kwiHolo yoBukumkani, lukwafunda nendlela enobuchule kodwa enesidima yokuthetha phambi kwabaphulaphuli. Oku kulwenza ukuba lungabi nazintloni xa luphakathi kwabantu.
Ukuba uziva ungonwabanga okanye uziva uneentloni okanye unesithukuthezi xa uphakathi kwabantu, ngoko zama ukuzinxulumanisa ngokusondeleyo nebandla lamaKristu okwenyaniso. Kunzima ukuhlala ithuba elide uneentloni ukuba usoloko unxulumene nabanye. Unokuzixubusha izinto ezikuxhalabisayo kunye nabazali bakho. Noko ke, khumbula ukuba uhlonelwa ngabanye, kungekhona ngokubamba umdiza emilebeni yakho, kodwa, njengokuba iBhayibhile ibongoza, ngokuba: “Ngumzekelo . . . ngentetho, ngehambo, ngothando, ngokholo, ngobunyulu.”—1 Timoti 4:12.
“Kundenza Ndikhululeke”
Kuthekani ngebango labanye lokuba ukutshaya ngamava ayolisayo? Umbhali uAlvin Rosenbaum uthi: “Ezinye iintshayi zithi azinakukwazi ukukhululeka ngaphandle komdiza, zithi ukutshaya kuthomalalisa uxinezeleko, ixhala nomsindo.” Noko ke, kunokuba sibe sibangela ukukhululeka, uRosenbaum uthi: “isiyobisi esifumaneka ecubeni siyavuselela.”
Ngoko, yintoni ebangela ukukhululeka okuviwa yintshayi? Eneneni, into eviwa yintshayi sisiqabu esibangelwa kukwanelisa kwayo imvakalelo yokukhotyokiswa! Ewe, abantu bakhotyokiswa sesi siyobisi sifumaneka ecubeni. Oku kukhotyokiswa kufana nqwa nokukhotyokiswa yiheroin okanye icocaine, abanye bade bathi kunzima ukukoyisa.
Xa esi siyobisi sifumaneka ecubeni siphela kumzimba wentshayi, iqalisa ukunqanqatheka. Isuka iphakuzele, izive ingakhululekanga, yaye ithukuthezelwe de ifumane esinye isiyobisi esifumaneka ecubeni. Okwexeshana, iziva ikhululekile—de umzimba wayo uphinde unqanqathekele esi siyobisi sifumaneka ecubeni. Ngaloo ndlela ukutshaya kuyindlela yobutyhakala yokuzenza ukhululeke. Ukuphulaphula umculo ovakalela ezantsi, ukufunda, nokuhambahamba ngamathuba athile ziindlela ezikhuseleke ngakumbi.
Ukuxhathisa Ingcinezelo Yoontanga
UGeorge oneminyaka elishumi elinesine ubudala uthi: “Baninzi gqitha abantwana ababendinika imidiza ekwafuneka ndingayamkeli.” Ingcinezelo yoontanga ibonakala isesona sizathu sibangela ukuba inkoliso yolutsha iqalise ukutshaya. Olunye uhlolisiso lwabeshumi elivisayo lwatyhila ukuba ‘bangaphantsi kwesi-1 ekhulwini abatshayayo nangona kwakungekho utshayayo kubahlobo babo, ngoxa ama-73 ekhulwini atshaya kuba babetshaya bonke abahlobo bawo.’ Ukuba uphantsi kwengcinezelo yoontanga bakho, usenokubuza uthi: ‘Ngaba ibiya kuba yintoni ephosakele kangako ekuthaphuzeni nje kube kanye ukwenzela ukuba abanye bayeke ukundikhathaza?’
Olunye ulutsha olukhuliswe emakhayeni amaKristu luye lwaqiqa ngelokuba bekungasayi kuba kubi kangako yaye luye lwalalanisa elukholweni lwalo.b Abambalwa baye bakuvuma ukubamba umdiza okanye bade bawufake emlonyeni—nje ukuze nabo ‘babe njengabanye.’ Noko ke, iBhayibhile ithi: “Nyana wam, ukuba aboni bathe bakuhenda, uze ungavumi.” (IMizekeliso 1:10) Yaye okuncomeka kakhulu kukuba inkoliso yolutsha olukhuliswe emakhayeni amaKristu luye lwawanikela ingqalelo la mazwi. Ngokomzekelo, uMaribel oneminyaka elishumi elinesine ubudala, wanikwa umdiza zizinxulumani zakhe, yaye akazange awamkele. Ukhumbula oku: “Baqalisa ukuzinxwema kum, yaye bandenza intlekisa.” Noko ke, wazikhumbuza ukuba ‘kulunge ngakumbi ukwamkeleka kuThixo kunokuba wamkeleke ehlabathini’ yaye akazange ayekelele kwingcinezelo!
Ngokwenene, ngaba luhlobo olunjani lwabahlobo olunokukubongoza ukuba usezele umoya obulalayo? IMizekeliso 13:20 ilumkisa isithi: “Olikholwane lesidenge uya konakaliswa.” Ukuba kuyimfuneko, zifunele abahlobo abatsha. Kaloku, ukuba phakathi kweentshayi kukodwa nje kuyingozi enkulu empilweni! UBrenda oneminyaka eli-15 ubudala uthi: “Akukho namnye kubahlobo bam otshayayo. Ngoko andinangxaki ngengcinezelo yoontanga.”
Noko ke, usenokungakwazi ukuluphepha ngokupheleleyo ulutsha olungengomakristu. Kusenokufuneka ukuba uzimele iinkolelo zakho yaye ukwale ngokuphandle ukutshaya! Oku akuthethi kuthi ufanele ubashumayeze ngobubi becuba. Umbhali onguSharon Scott ubonisa ukuba ngokufuthi ukuthi “hay’ enkosi” kwanele. Ukuba oku akunampumelelo, uncomela ukuba ukucacise ukwala kwakho ngamazwi angqongqo athi, “Ndithe HAYI!”
Amanye amacebo kukuhamba kuloo ndawo, ungalamkeli icuba, okanye nje utshintshe incoko. Unokude uzame ukuyiqhelisela kwangaphambili indlela oya kuyixhathisa ngayo ingcinezelo yokutshaya. Yaye ukuba kufuneka inkcazelo engakumbi, ufanele ukulungele ukuyinikela. Kunjengokuba iBhayibhile isithi: ‘Hlalani ke nikulungele ukuziphendulela kumntu wonke obuzayo kuni ilizwi.’—1 Petros 3:15.c
Imfundo yeBhayibhile enikelwa kwiHolo yoBukumkani yamaNgqina kaYehova iye yanceda abaninzi ukuba bayeke ukutshaya. UOren ukhumbula oku: “Umnqweno wokuthetha nabanye ngokuphila ngonaphakade empilweni efezekileyo kumhlaba oyiparadisi ocociweyo wandinika ukhuthazo lokuyeka.” Inyathelo lobulumko lelokuba ungaze uqalise kwaukuqalisa!—Kolose 4:5.
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Abantu abathathu kwabane abaziintshayi eUnited States baqalisa ukutshaya ngaphambi kokuba babe neminyaka engama-21 ubudala. Kolunye uhlolisiso, isiqingatha seqela leentshayi ezikwishumi elivisayo latshaya umdiza walo wokuqala ngaphambi kokuba lugqibe kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi.
b Ukuba uye ngokusemfihlekweni walinga ukutshaya, nceda ufune uncedo ngokwazisa abazali bakho ngengxaki onayo. (IMizekeliso 28:13) Basenokukhathazeka ngokwazi ngale ngxaki yakho. Kodwa ukuba bangamaKristu, emva kokuba kuthomalele ukukhathazeka, baya kunikel’ ingqalelo kwindlela yokukunceda ukuba ukuphephe ukuphindaphinda eso siphoso. Abaveleli bebandla lasekuhlaleni lamaNgqina kaYehova basenokuba luncedo kakhulu yaye babe lukhuthazo kuwe kulo mbandela.—Yakobi 5:14, 15.
c Ukuze ufumane inkcazelo engeengozi zokutshaya, bona inkupho kaVukani! ka-Agasti 8, 1991.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]
Kunokuba kumenze ubani abonakale engokhulileyo, ukutshaya kunokudiza ukungazithembi kukabani