Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Abazali Bam Bengabonakalisi Mdla Ongakumbi Kum?

“Nanini na ndicela kumama imizuzu emihlanu kwixesha lakhe, usoloko exakeke gqitha,” ikhalaza isitsho enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo.

UCHRISTINA wayeneminyaka eli-16 ubudala​—⁠engatshatanga yaye ekhulelwe. Nangona wayezisola ngemeko elingayo awayekuyo, wayekwalugcwabevu ngumsindo. Enesingqala wathi: “Umama akazange azikhathaze nakancinane ngokundicacisela ezi zinto. Akazange abe nalo nje kwaphela ixesha lokuba nomdla koko ndandikwenza.”

Ngaba leyo yindlela ovakalelwa ngayo maxa wambi​—⁠ukuba abazali bakho abanawo kwaphela umdla kuwe? Kusenokuba akutyekelanga ekuyivakaliseni indlela onxunguphele ngayo ngendlela awenza ngayo uChristina. Kwaye uyazi ukuba ukuba nabazali abangenankathalo akusosizathu sakuzithethelela kwihambo embi. Sekunjalo, usenokuziva ubuhlungu gqitha xa bengakukhathaleli. Nangona usondele kubuntu obukhulu, usenokuziva ulufuna ngamandla uthando nenkxaso yabazali. Ukutyeshelwa ngabazali bakho kunokukwenza uzive ulahliwe. Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo yakhalaza isithi: “Nanini na ndicela kumama imizuzu emihlanu kwixesha lakhe, usoloko exakeke gqitha.”

Akumangalisi ngoko, ukuba, ngokutsho komnye umhloli, ama-25 ekhulwini abantu abaselula “avakalelwa kukuba abanaxesha laneleyo bekunye nabazali babo.” Omnye oselula wathi: “Ndinqwenela ukuba bendisondelelene ngakumbi nabazali bam ndize ndibe ngokhululeke ngakumbi kubo.” Naxa ulutsha nabazali bekunye ngokwenyama, banokwahlukana ngokweemvakalelo. Kusenokungabikho lunxibelelwano lunentsingiselo.

Isizathu Sokuba Babonakale Bekutyeshela

Khawufan’ ucinga: Ulinde imini yonke ukuba uphalaze ingxaki ethile kumama wakho. Kodwa uthi nje akufika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, aziphose esihlalweni aze athabatheke ziindaba zangokuhlwa kumabonwakude. Xa uzama ukuncokola naye, ukubhebhethela kude ecaphukile esithi, “Akuboni ukuba ndizama ukuphumla?”

Ngaba ngumzali ongenabuntu nongenaluthando? Akunjalo, kunqabile ukuba abazali bangabakhathaleli abantwana babo ngabom. Kodwa siphila ‘kumaxesha anomngcipheko.’ (2 Timoti 3:​1-⁠3) Yaye abazali bakho basenokuzifumanisa bephantsi kwengcinezelo engakumbi kunanini na ngaphambili. Basenokuziva bexinezelekile, bedandathekile, okanye bediniwe kangangokuba bangabi nawo kwaphela amandla okuchitha ixesha elifanelekileyo nawe. Oku kunokuba yinyaniso ngokukodwa ukuba uhlala kwintsapho enomzali omnye. Ngoko ngaphandle kokuba abazali bakho banokukuva ukhalaza, banokusuka nje bacinge ukuba zonke izinto zikuhambela kakuhle.

Abazali basenokuba baxakekiswe iingqondo yeminye imicimbi. Ukuba utata wakho ungumKristu okhutheleyo, usenokuba nomthwalo onzima wembopheleleko yebandla. (Thelekisa eyesi-⁠2 kwabaseKorinte 11:​28, 29.) Yaye nangona esenokungafane athethe ngako oku, umama wakho usenokuba uphazanyiswe ziingxaki ezikhulayo zempilo. Ngaba unabo abanakwenu noodadewenu? Ngoko abazali bakho basekwanokuba baxakekiswe kukunyamekela iintswelo zabo.

Kuyavunywa ukuba, bambi abazali balwisana neengxaki ezinzulu ezinjengokuba likhoboka lotywala baze bangabi nako ukusabela kwiintswelo zabantwana babo. Kanti abanye basenokuba nje abayazi indlela abangabonakalisa ngayo umdla ebantwaneni babo. Ngaphezu koko, abantwana balufunda kubazali babo uthando. (Thelekisa eyoku-⁠1 kaYohane 4:⁠19.) Yaye mhlawumbi abazali bakho bakhuliswa ngabazali abangazange babonakalise umdla kubo.

Kwakhona kukho isibakala sokuba wambi amabutho abantu azityeshela ngokupheleleyo iintswelo zabantu abaselula. Kwimimandla ethile yaseAfrika, kukho isiko elingqongqo lokuba ngamaxesha esidlo ootata, oomama nabantwana batyele kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo. Ngawuphi umphumo? UCollin oselula waseAfrika oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala ukhumbula oku: “Kwakunzima ukuziva ndisondelelene ngokweemvakalelo nabazali bam. Ndavakalelwa kukuba ndandiziphuthaphuthela nje ndedwa ebomini.”

Imigibe Emele Iphetshwe

Enoba siyintoni na isizathu esibangela abazali bakho babonakale bengakhathali, usenokushiyeka ubuhlungu yaye unomsindo. Lumbi ulutsha lusabela ngokuba lube lolungenantsebenziswano okanye olungathobeliyo. Abanye lugqiba kwelokuba imvukelo ikuphela kwendlela yokwenza ukuba kutsalelwe ingqalelo kwimeko yalo enxunguphalisayo. Kodwa njengoChristina, okhankanywe ekuqaleni, ulutsha olunemvukelo ngokufuthi luye lwazenzakalisa ngakumbi ngoxa lusenza oku. IMizekeliso 1:​32 ilumkisa isithi: “Kuba ukuphamba kweziyatha kuyazibulala.”

Kwelinye icala, akuloncedo ukusuka nje uyityeshele le meko​—⁠ngokukodwa ukuba ikwenza ube buhlungu ngokunzulu. “Ngaba uye wabonakala udimazekile?” ibuza isitsho IMizekeliso 24:​10. (NW) Ukuba kunjalo, “oba ebandezelwe amandla akho.” Amanxeba angokweemvakalelo asekwanokuba ngawokwenene aze abe buhlungu ngakumbi kunamanxeba angokwasemzimbeni. (IMizekeliso 18:​14) Yaye xa evunyelwa endele ngaphakathi, anokuqhubeka ebangela intlungu naxa sele ungumntu okhulileyo. Cinga ngomfana ogama linguJohan. UJohan ukhumbula oku: “Ekukhuleni kwam, utata owayelinxila wayengaze afumaneke xa ndandimfuna ngamandla.” Wongezelela esithi: “Iingxaki zakhe zobuqu zazimxine gqitha ukuba anganikela ingqalelo engakumbi kum.” Njengomntu okhulileyo, uJohan wadandatheka waza wasoloko eziva enetyala kangangethuba elide.

Ngoncedo lwabahlobo abathile abalungileyo, kwakhona uJohan wakwazi ukuqalisa ukwakha uxabiso ngesiqu sakhe. Sekunjalo, amava akhe abethelela ukubaluleka kokuzama ukufumana iindlela ezikhuthazayo zokuqhubana nemeko ohlangabezana nayo ekhaya.

Hlakulela Umdla Wabo Kuwe

Masithi kunqabile ukuba uTata okanye uMama baqalise incoko kunye nawe. Unokuqalisa ukuphelisa loo nzolo ibangel’ isithukuthezi ngokubonakalisa umdla othile kubo. (Mateyu 7:​12; Filipi 2:⁠4) Zenze ufumanekele ukuhamba nabo xa besiya endaweni ethile besiya kufuna okuthile. Buza enoba unokubanceda ngandlel’ ithile, mhlawumbi ngokulungiselela isidlo okanye ngokucoca. Ekuhambeni kwexesha unokuqalisa ukwabelana nabo ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo, ezinjengoko kuqhubeka esikolweni.

Noko ke, maxa wambi usenokuba uneengxaki ezithile ezinzulu ngoku ofuna ukuzixubusha. Kusenokungakuncedi nganto ukuya kuTata ngoxa ethe zava esofeni, ephumle emva komsebenzi onzima wemini. Zama ukufumana ‘ilixa elililo’​—⁠xa eziphumlele nje ngokufanelekileyo yaye onwabile⁠—​ukuze axubushe imicimbi. (IMizekeliso 15:​23) Mhlawumbi kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba abe nomdla kwiingxaki zakho.

Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba abazali bakho abasabeli phezu kwayo yonke imigudu oyenzileyo?a IMizekeliso 15:​22 isikhumbuza ukuba “iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya.” Ewe, kusenokufuneka ubaxelele abazali bakho (phofu ke, ngendlela yobubele nangobuchule) ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ababonakalisi mdla waneleyo kuwe yaye oku kukwenza uzive ubuhlungu yaye ungathandwa. Mhlawumbi ungathanda nje ukunconywa ngokuthile nokuba kukanye, okanye ubuya kuluxabisa uncedo oluthile kumsebenzi wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya.

Mhlawumbi abazali bakho baya kukhwankqiswa kukufumanisa ukuba uvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Basenokukuqinisekisa kwakamsinya ngothando lwabo baze mhlawumbi bacele uxolo ngokukubangela ube nolu luvo luphosakeleyo. Amaxesha amaninzi abazali baya kwenza umgudu wokwenene wokuguquka yakuba nje ingxaki iziswe engqalelweni yabo.

Kwelinye icala, mhlawumbi ingxubusho yenu iya kutyhila ukuba wena ubungaziqondi kakuhle izinto. Mhlawumbi nje awukhange uziphawule ezinye zeendlela ezahlukeneyo abawubonakalise ngazo umdla kuwe. Enoba imeko injani, ukuyibeka elubala imicimbi linyathelo elibalulekileyo ekuphuculeni izinto ekhaya.

Ukuvala Umsantsa

Kuthekani ukuba abazali bakho abakasabeli kakuhle? Kuyaqondakala ukuba, oku kunokuba buhlungu ngenene. Sekunjalo, zikho ezinye iindlela ezikuvulekeleyo.

Ngokomzekelo, zama ukufumana uthile​—⁠ukuba kunokwenzeka umntu omdala kunawe⁠—​onokunceda ekuvaleni umsantsa oshiywe ngabazali bakho abangenankathalo. Njengokuba IMizekeliso ikubeka, kukho umhlobo ‘ozalelwe imbandezelo.’ (IMizekeliso 17:​17) Funa umhlobo onjalo. Kodwa likhethe naliphi na icebiso olamkelayo, uqiniseke ukuba lihambisana nezilangazelelo zakho yaye livisisana neLizwi likaThixo.

Omnye umthombo woncedo nenkxaso libandla lasekuhlaleni lamaNgqina kaYehova. Apho unokufumana abazalwana noodade, ootata noomama bokomoya abaya kuba nomdla wokwenene kuwe baze bakuncede ukhule ngokomoya nangokweemvakalelo. (Marko 10:​30) UCollin, oselula waseAfrika okhankanywe ngaphambilana, wafumana abahlobo abanjalo. Eziva efuna ukhokelo, waqalisa ukuya kwiintlanganiso zamaNgqina kaYehova. Ngokukhawuleza waphathwa ngobuhlobo ngamalungu ebandla awamenza waziva ethandwa yaye efunwa. Kwangaxeshanye abazali bakhe nabantakwabo nabo baqalisa ukuya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu.

Kunokwenzeka ukuba, abazali bakho bakukhathalele ngokwenene kodwa nje bafanele baziphaphele ngakumbi iintswelo zakho. Thabatha inyathelo lokuqala, yaye ubenze bazi oko zikuko kanye ezo ntswelo! Ngubani owaziyo? Mhlawumbi uya kufumanisa ukuba banomdla ngokungakumbi kuwe kunokuba wena ubucinga.

Ukuba, emva kokufunda eli phephancwadi, unemibuzo ethile ngeBhayibhile, nceda uzive ukhululekile ukubonana namaNgqina kaYehova kwiHolo yoBukumkani ekummandla ohlala kuwo, okanye bhalela abapapashi beli phephancwadi. (Bona iphepha 5.)

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]

Abazali namhlanje baziva bexinezelekile yaye bedinwe gqitha ukuba bangasingatha iingxaki zabantwana babo