Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokubutha?
IINDAWO zemidlalo yevideo, iindawo zokutyela, iimbombo zezitrato, iivenkilana ezivala kade zasekuhlaleni—kwimimandla yezityebi neyabangamahlwempu—ziye zaziindawo zokuhlanganisana apho abantu abaselula babutha khona.
Iindawo zentengiso zidume ngokukhethekileyo njengeendawo zokubutha eUnited States. Apho amaqela olutsha anokubonwa ngokufuthi esehla esenyuka kangangeeyure ezininzi. Enye intombazana eselula ithi, “Siya kusoloko sisiya kwiindawo zentengiso kuba zininzi izinto eziqhubekayo apho, yaye kusoloko kukho okuthile okukuthimba ingqondo—njengemakhwenkwe!”
Kuthekani ukuba akukho ndawo yentengiso ekufuphi? Ngoko ibala elingenanto okanye imbombo yesitrato iba yindawo efanelekileyo. UTari oneminyaka eli-15 ubudala uthi: “Mna nabahlobo bam siyaphuma siye kumabala amakhulu okumisa iinqwelo-mafutha kwipaki ekufuphi, sihlale phezu kweebonnet zeenqwelo-mafutha zethu size sincokole ixesha elide.”—Iphephancwadi i’Teen, likaSeptemba 1990.
Kakade ke, enyanisweni akukho nto intsha ngokubutha. IBhayibhile ithetha ngabantu bamaxesha amandulo ababehlanganisana kwiindawo zikawonke wonke baze “bachithe ixesha abangenzi nto ngalo bengazilibazisi nganto yimbi, ngaphandle kokuxela nokuva olona daba lutsha.” (IZenzo 17:21, NW) Kodwa kutheni olu hlobo lokuzonwabisa luqheleke kangaka kulutsha lwanamhlanje?
Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi The Adolescent, ebhalwe nguF. Philip Rice, abantu abafikelele ebuntwini obukhulu “bayiqonda ngakumbi imfuneko yokuba ngabeqela elithile. Bafuna ukuthandwa ngoontanga babo.” Ngaloo ndlela, ukubutha nabahlobo kubonakala ikukuzalisekisa intswelo yokufuna ukunxulumana nabanye nokufumana inkxaso yabo.
Olunye ulutsha lukujonga njengeyona ndlela ilula yokuchitha isithukuthezi. UMichelle oselula uthi: “Kusisithukuthezi ukuhlala ekhaya ngokuhlwa. Ufuna ukuphuma uyokonwaba kuba ukuba awenzi njalo uyakuba nobusuku obusisithukuthezi.” UEd oneminyaka elishumi elinesithandathu ubudala uthi ukubutha “kuyinto yokwenza yaye ngandlel’ ithile kukugcina ukude neengxaki.” Kodwa ngaba ngokwenene oko kunjalo?
Xa Abantu Bebuthile
IBhayibhile ayikugwebi ukonwaba nabahlobo. Sekunjalo, iyalumkisa: “Ohamba nezilumko uba sisilumko naye, ke olikholwane lezidenge uya konakaliswa.” (IMizekeliso 13:20) Ngoko, lungakanani ulutsha oluma kwiimbombo zezitrato lungoongqikane ekunokuthiwa luzizilumko—lunentlonelo yokwenene ngemigaqo yeBhayibhile? Lusenokungabi ngabaqhwayi benkathazo, kodwa iqela elikhulu lolutsha olunesithukuthezi, olungenamntu ulujongileyo nolunexesha elininzi luswel’ int’ okwenza ngokulula lusenokuphelela ekwenzeni inkathazo.
Ngenxa yesi sizathu iBhayibhile ayikuncomeli ukubutha. Khawucinge ngexesha laxa umpostile uPawulos noSilas babetyelele isixeko saseTesalonika. Abachasi besigidimi sobuKristu ‘bazithabathela amadoda athile angendawo, angamahilihili [“angoongqikane,” Today’s English Version] aza enza ibubu, awuphithizelisa umzi.’ (IZenzo 17:5) Ngokutsho kweVine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, la mahilihili yayingabantu “ababesiya ngokuthe rhoqo ezivenkileni, ngoko besihla benyuka beswel’ int’ okwenza.” Ngaba asinto iqhelekileyo leyo? Phofu ke, kubonakala ngathi la mahilihili ayengenamdla kwisigidimi sikaPawulos, kodwa kuba engenanto ilunge ngakumbi anokuyenza, ngokulula ahendelwa ekwenzeni isiphithiphithi.
Ukwenza Intlondi Nogonyamelo
Ngoku, cinga ngamathuba okubakho kwenkathazo xa iqela lolutsha oluswel’ int’ okwenza lihlanganisene. Oku akuthethi kuthi wonk’ umntu uceba ukwenza intlondi. UKen oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala obutha kwibala lesikolo lokumisa iinqwelo-mafuthi uthi: “Akukho nto ingako iqhubekayo, sihlala kwiinqwelo-mafutha zethu, sincokole izinto ezingenamsebenzi ezihlekisayo okanye sincokole nje ngamadinga.” Ewe, okwexesha elithile, ukushwaqa nje ngezemidlalo, umculo nangabesini esahlukileyo kusenokugcina wonke ubani onwabile. Noko ke, ngokufuthi, ulutsha luyakhawuleza ukudinwa kukuncokola nje.
Abaphengululi uMihaly Csikszentmihalyi noReed Larson banikela le ngxelo: “Ngokufuthi, [ulutsha] luzichaza ezi zihlandlo [zokubutha] njengamaxesha ‘okwenza intlondi,’ okuthethela phezulu, okugeza nokungalawuleki. . . . Ngokuzenzekelayo nje xa iqela loontanga lihlanganisene kubakho intlondi, kwanokuba umntu ngamnye kwabo baselula bayenzayo akayithandi. . . . Izenzo zentlondi zibandakanya ukujikeleza ngenqwelo-mafutha lunkqangaza, lugibisela iinkonkxa emizini yabantu nemilo.” (Akekeliswe sithi.)—Being Adolescent.
Kuyinyaniso ukuba, usenokungathandi ukwenza into ebubudenge kuba nje abahlobo bakho beyenza. Kodwa unokuzifaka kwingcinezelo enkulu yokwenza okubi ngokuba phakathi kwabenzi bubi. (1 Korinte 15:33) Yaye nokuba awungeneleli kwizenzo zokungalawuleki, ubukho bakho bunokubangela ukuba abanye babe nembono ephosakeleyo ngawe. Oku koko kwenzeka kwintombazana eselula egama linguDina, intombi yosolusapho ongumHebhere uYakobi.
UDina wayekhuliswe njengomnquli kaYehova uThixo, nangona intsapho yakowabo yayihlala kwilizwe lakwaKanan—ilizwe ekwakuxhaphake kulo isini esigqwethekileyo nombulo. Ngoko ke, uyise, uYakobi, wazama ngamandla ukulunciphisa unxulumano lwakhe namaKanan aziphethe kakubi ngokumisa intente yakhe ngaphandle komzi kaShekem waza wenza iqula elahlukileyo. (Genesis 33:18; Yohane 4:12) Sekunjalo uDina ‘wayephuma aye kubona iintombi zelo zwe,’ mhlawumbi ngokuthe rhoqo. (Genesis 34:1) Kusenokuba uDina wayekujonga ukubutha namaKanan njengokuzonwabisa okungeyongozi. Kodwa amabhinqa angamaKanan ayedume ngokuziphatha okubi. Ngoko xa indoda engumKanan egama linguShekem yabona uDina enxulumene naloo mabhinqa, ‘yamthabatha, yalala naye, yamona.’—Genesis 34:2.
Ngokufanayo, ukubutha neqela elingalunganga kunokukufaka enkathazweni. Umfana ogama linguLeonard ukhumbula ukuba phezu kwaso nje isibakala sokuba wayekhule engumKristu, waqalisa “ukubutha neqela elinemvukelo. Sasijikeleza size sisele ibhiya kunye—nakubeni ndandingekho kubudala obungokwasemthethweni. Xa ndandineminyaka eli-18 ubudala ndanditshaya umya.”
Ukulisebenzisa Ngokufanelekileyo Ixesha
Kolunye uhlolisiso kwafunyaniswa ukuba ama-44 ekhulwini olutsha ekwenziwa udliwano-ndlebe nalo achitha iiyure ezintathu ukusa kwezintlanu nangaphezulu sihlandlo ngasinye etyelela isakhiwo esineevenkile; ngoxa i-14 ekhulwini lichithe iiyure ezintandathu. Kodwa kunokuba ludlale ngexesha luswel’ int’ okwenza, ulutsha olunobulumko ‘luzongela ixesha ngokuba le mihla ayindawo.’—Efese 5:15, 16.
Ngaba umsebenzi wakho wesikolo kunye nemisetyenzana yasekhaya iyasilela ngenxa yexesha olichithela kwiimbutho zolutsha? Kuthekani ngemisebenzi yokomoya—ufundisiso lobuqu lweBhayibhile, iintlanganiso zamaKristu, umsebenzi wokunikel’ ubungqina kwabanye? Ngaba uyazityeshela iimbopheleleko ezinjalo? Xa ‘uhlala uphuphuma umsebenzi weNkosi,’ akunakufane kwenzeke ukuba ube nexesha elininzi lokungenzi nto.—1 Korinte 15:58.
Ezinye Iindlela Ezilunge Ngakumbi
Ukuzonwabisa yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi. (INtshumayeli 3:4) Kodwa asikokubutha kuphela okuyindlela yokuzonwabisa. Ibhinqa eliselula elibizwa ngokuba nguLucy lithi, “Ndiyakunandipha ukuhlala ndedwa, ndiyathanda ukufunda, yaye oku kuye kwandinceda ukuze ndikhulise umdla wam ngembali, impucuko neelwimi zamanye amazwe. Ndityelela iimyuziyam neendawo ezibonisa ngezinto zobugcisa, ndithunge ndize ndipheke. Kwakhona ndiyakunandipha ukuzoba nokubhala iileta, yaye maxa wambi ndizama ukubhala umhobe omfutshane.” Ukuhlala wedwa akumele kube yinto ekruqulayo.
Intsapho yakowenu isenokuba ngomnye umthombo oluncedo wokuzonwabisa. Ngoko, ngaphambi kokuba uyigatye le mbono, khawuphulaphule okuthethwa ngumfana ogama linguJack. Ukhumbula oku: “Abazali bam babesoloko benokuthile abasicebele ukukwenza. Sasisiya kwi-ice-skating nakwiroller-skating; sasisiya kwiipaki, kwiindawo ezigcina izilwanyana nakwiimyuziyam. Kwanokucoca ibala okanye umzi kwakuyinto eyonwabisayo xa sasikwenza kunye njengentsapho.” Mhlawumbi intsapho yakowenu iyayekelela kumkhwa wokwenza izinto kunye. Ukuba kunjalo, kutheni ungezi neengcamango ezithile zendlela intsapho enokuzikhupha ngayo? Usenokukunandipha oko nangaphezu kokuba ubulindele!
Oku akuthethi ukuba awunakunandipha unxulumano kunye noontanga bakho—kuquka amathuba axa nincokola izinto ezonwabisayo okanye niphumle kunye. Kodwa bakhethe abahlobo bakho. Umfana ogama linguEnrique uthi: “Ndandiqhele ukubutha nolutsha lwehlabathi, kodwa xa ndahlulela ubomi bam ekukhonzeni uYehova, ndanxulumana nabaselula abasebandleni. Sasisiya kunye kumsebenzi wokushumayela, sasidlala ibhola kunye—ndandizama ukwenza konke endandinokukwenza kunye nabo.”
Ngokufanayo uShelleace wayeqhele ukubutha neqela elingalunganga. Ukhumbula oku ngabahlobo bakhe bangaphambili: “Ubomi babo babungenanjongo nandawo busingise kuyo. Kwathabatha ixesha ukuzikhwebula kubo, kodwa xa ndakwenzayo oko, ndazifaka phakathi kwabahlobo abalungileyo. Kuphela kungelo xesha endaba nenkqubela ngalo ngokomoya.”
Ngoko ngoxa ukubutha kusenokuba kukuzonwabisa okanye maxa wambi kuzis’ ihlombe, akuyi kukunceda ngokomoya, yaye kusenokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba kukwenzakalise. Yiba ngophaphileyo. Funa iindlela ezilunge ngakumbi onokulisebenzisa ngazo ixesha onalo.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 14]
Ngaba ukubutha yindlela elunge ngakumbi yokusebenzisa ixesha onalo?