Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Ndingafanele Ndiphile Ubomi Obumbaxa?

“Ndandiphila ubomi obumbaxa—obunye ndibuphila nabahlobo bam abangamaKristu yaye obunye ndibuphila nabahlobo bam basesikolweni.”

IMEKO yeli bhinqa liselula ekucatshulwe amazwi alo ngasentla iqhelekile. Kodwa kuthetha ntoni “ukuphila ubomi obumbaxa”? URuth Bell, umbhali wencwadi ethi Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, wakuchaza ngokuthi “yiyo nayiphi na into oyenzayo ongabaxeleliyo abazali bakho ngayo.”

Lo mbhali wadlan’ indlebe nabantu abaselula abaninzi waza wanikela le ngxelo: “Abaninzi abakwishumi elivisayo bathi babenezinto abazenzayo ebomini babo ababengenakuthetha ngazo kubazali babo. Ezona zinto ziqhelekileyo ababezifihla sisini neziyobisi kunye nokusela, kodwa abantu bakwakhankanya izinto ezinjengokubutha kude kube sebusuku, ukwenza amadinga nabantu abangaziwayo ngabazali babo, ukungabikho esikolweni ngaphandle kwemvume, ukulwa nokunxulumana nabahlobo abangathandwayo ngabazali babo.”

Okubuhlungu kukuba, kwanolunye ulutsha olukhuliswe ngabazali abangamaKristu luyazifihla into oluyiyo kubazali balo nakwabanye.a (Thelekisa INdumiso 26:4.) Xa lukunye nabazali namanye amakholwa, olu lutsha lubonakala lulungile yaye luhlonel’ uThixo. Kodwa malumke nje phambi kwabo, luziphatha okwabantu abahluke mpela.

Yintoni kanye le ishukumisela umntu oselula ukuba aphile ubomi obumbaxa?

Umgibe Wokuzimela Geqe

IBhayibhile ithi ekugqibeleni “indoda yomshiya uyise nonina.” (Genesis 2:24) Ngoko, kungokwemvelo ukuba ufune ukukhula, ukuzicingela, ukuzenzela izigqibo. Ingxaki kukuba usenokuba awukakulungeli ukuba ngumntu omkhulu. Ekubeni ungenamava ngobomi, usafuna inkxaso yabazali abahlonel’ uThixo.—IMizekeliso 1:8.

Ulutsha oluninzi aluzimiselanga ukuyamkela le nyaniso. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ethi How to Survive Your Child’s Rebellious Teens, ulutsha oluninzi lufuna “ukuziva amandla, ngokungathi kunjalo, luzivavanya amandla olusandula ukuwafumana, luze luzingqine luzimele geqe.” Xa abazali bengaluvumeli ukuba lwenze izinto abazigqala zingebobulumko—okanye ziphosakele—lumbi ulutsha luyavukela. Yaye lusenokungaboni nto iphosakeleyo ekuvukeleni. Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo ithi: “Ndikuthanda gqitha ukwenza izinto [abazali bam] abangazaziyo kuba oko kundenza ndizive ndibalulekile. Ubomi bam bahluke mpela kobabo yaye andiqondi ukuba banalo nofifi ngaloo nto. . . . Abanakukholelwa nditsho nesiqingatha soko ndikwenzayo.”

‘Abazali Bam Bangqongqo Gqitha’

Noko ke, kutheni kwanolunye ulutsha olukhuliswa ngendlela yobuKristu lubandakanyeka kwizenzo eziphosakeleyo oluzifihlayo? Xa uVukani! wabuza lo mbuzo kwelinye iqela lolutsha, enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo yaphendula yathi: “Lubaqumbele abazali balo. Lufuna ukuziphindezela ngenxa yokuba belumisela imiqathango.” Alithandabuzeki elokuba, ubuKristu buyindlela yobomi enemiqathango. UYesu wathi: “Limxinwa isango, icuthene nendlela, esa ebomini.” (Mateyu 7:14) Ukuba ufuna ukufumana isipho sikaThixo sobomi obungunaphakade, akunako ukwenza ezinye zezinto ekufane kuthiwe kukuzonwabisa olunye ulutsha oluzenzayo. Ngokomzekelo, amatheko angalawulekiyo, iimbutho zokusela, isini sangaphambi komtshato, ukuziphatha okubi, zonke ezi zinto iBhayibhile iyazigweba.—Galati 5:19-21.

Kuyinyaniso ukuba bambi abazali basenokubonakala bengqongqo ngokugqith’ emgceni. Enye intombazana eselula egama linguKim yakhalaza yathi: “Kunzima nokuba basivumele sibukele nayiphi na imifanekiso eshukumayo. Nexesha endandilichitha ndiphulaphule umculo ndalinciphisa kakhulu, yaye ndazama ukuwukhetha. Kodwa utata akasivumeli siphulaphule phantse nawuphi na umculo! Kuphela usivumela ukuba siphulaphule amacwecwe omculo weklasiki nowejazz.” Kuba lujamelene noko lukujonga njengemiqathango egqith’ emgceni, lumbi ulutsha luye luqalise ukuziva lubawela inkululeko enanditshwa ngoontanga balo.

Umnqweno Wokwamkeleka Kwabanye

Ibhinqa eliselula eligama linguTammy likhumbula oku: “Ndaqala ngokusebenzisa intetho engafanelekanga esikolweni. Oko kwandenza ndaziva ndifana ngakumbi nabanye abantwana. Kamva ndazama ukutshaya. Kwakhona ndandidla ngokusela utywala ndide ndizive ndisemqheleni. Ndandula ke ndaqalisa ukuthandana namakhwenkwe—ndikufihla oko kuba abazali bam babengqongqo yaye babengandivumeli ukuba ndenze amadinga.”

Inkwenkwe ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguPete yaba namava afanayo: “Ndakhuliswa njengomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova. Kodwa ndandikoyika kakhulu ukuhlekwa, ngoko ndandisoloko ndizama ukuzithandisa kwiqela endikulo. Ndandizama ukuba ngodumileyo. Ndandiye ndixoke ndize ndibophe amaxonya xa ndibuzwa ngesizathu sokuba ndingafumananga zipho ebudeni beeholide zonqulo.”b Akuba uPete eqalise ukulalanisa kwizinto ezincinane, kungekudala wabandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi okunzulu.

“Unxulumano Olubi”—Phi?

Amava alolu hlobo abalaselisa ubunyaniso bamazwi ompostile ongumKristu uPawulos athi: “Unxulumano olubi lonakalisa imikhwa elungileyo.” (1 Korinte 15:33, NW) Ngoko ukuba unxulumana nolutsha olungayihloneliyo imilinganiselo nokuziphatha kwakho okusekelwe eBhayibhileni, ngokulula usenokwasulelwa yindlela oluphila ngayo. Noko ke, okubangel’ umdla kukuba, lo mpostile wayengathethi ngokukhethekileyo ngokunxulumana nabangakholwayo xa wayenikela eso silumkiso. Wayelumkisa ngokunxulumana nabo bakwibandla lamaKristu abasilelayo ukuphila ngokwemfundiso yobuKristu. (1 Korinte 15:12) Ngokufanayo namhlanje, kusenokubakho ulutsha olunxulumana nebandla olungabambeleliyo okanye olungakuncomeliyo ukuphila ngendlela yobuKristu efanelekileyo. Lusenokuzisa ingcinezelo echuliweyo kuwe lukwenza uphile ubomi obumbaxa.

Kwakhona, khawucinge ngoTammy ovumayo ukuba abazali bakhe “bamthanda kakhulu.” Umchaza uyise “njengonenzondelelo ephuphumayo, osoloko ethetha ngendlela uYehova asikhathalele ngayo.” Nasebandleni ukhonza njengomdala. Ngoko, walahlekiswa njani? Uthi: “Lunxulumano olubi ebandleni. Abanye babedla ngokundibalisela ngendlela ababonwabe ngayo kumatheko awahlukahlukeneyo nangokusela kwabo utywala. Okanye bandibalisele ngamakhwenkwe abathandana nawo nokuba babedla ngokuya kudanisa emva kweentlanganiso zebandla.”

Ukulumkela Intlekele

Musa ukukuthethelela ukuziphatha okubi okunjalo kwabaselula ngokuqiqa ngolu hlobo, ‘Yinxalenye nje yokukhula’ okanye, ‘Bonke abantwana bayabafihlela abazali babo izinto.’ Phawula isilumkiso uThixo asinika abantu abaselula kwiNtshumayeli 11:9, 10: “Vuya, ndodana, ebutsheni bakho, ikuchwayithise intliziyo yakho ngemihla yobudodana bakho, uhambe ngeendlela zentliziyo yakho, nangokukhangela kwamehlo akho; kodwa yazi ukuba ngenxa yezo zinto zonke uThixo uya kukusa ematyaleni. Yisuse ke ingqumbo entliziyweni yakho, ubudlulise ububi enyameni yakho.”

Ukuphila ubomi obumbaxa kusenokubonakala kuyolisa. Kodwa ekugqibeleni kuba ngumgibe obulalayo. (Thelekisa INdumiso 9:16.) Ngokungaphephekiyo izenzo zokungathobeli zikhokelela kwizenzo ezinzulu ngakumbi zokwenza okuphosakeleyo. Ngokomzekelo, uPete oselula wayesele eziphethe kakubi ngokwesini xa washiya ikhaya eneminyaka eli-17 ubudala. Xa wayeneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, uPete wabanjelwa ukuphanga exhobile.

Ngokufuthi ulutsha oluninzi lubonakala lungafumani sohlwayo ngehambo yalo embi. Ngokulula usenokuqalisa ukuvakalelwa njengombhali weBhayibhile uAsafu, owavuma wathi: “Bendibamonela . . . ndakukubona ukuphumelela kwabangendawo. Ngokuba abanazintlungu ekufeni kwabo; baphilile, batyebile umzimba wabo; . . . Abakhathazwa njengabanye abantu.” Kodwa oko kwakubonakala ngathi kukuphumelela kwabangendawo kwangqineka kuyinkohliso ebuhlungu. UAsafu wafikelela kwesi sigqibo: “[UThixo] ubamise ezindaweni ezibuthelezi, wabawisa baba yintshabalala.” (INdumiso 73:3-5, 18) Ngoko, ngokufanelekileyo iBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelithi: “Intliziyo yakho mayingabamoneli aboni; ke mayizonde ukoyika uYehova imini yonke.”—IMizekeliso 23:17.

Kuthekani ke ngengcamango yokuba ukungabathobeli abazali kunceda ulutsha lukhule luze luzimele geqe? Oku kuphikisana mpela nesiluleko seBhayibhile sokuba uphulaphule abazali bakho. (IMizekeliso 23:22) Eneneni, ihambo yobuyatha okanye yokungakhathali yonakalisa ukukhula kwakho ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya. Kunoko, kungokusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile onokuthi ufikelele “ebudodeni obupheleleyo, emlinganiselweni wobukhulu bokuzala kukaKristu.”—Efese 4:13.

Kuyinyaniso ukuba abanye abazali basenokubonakala bengqongqo ngokungekho ngqiqweni. Kodwa ngaba oko akubangelwa luthando lwabo olunzulu ngawe nangumnqweno wabo wokukukhusela? Ngoko ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba abazali bakho kufuneka bathobe isantya kubungqongqo babo, kutheni ungathethi nabo—kunokuba ube nemvukelo ngokufihlakeleyo?c Ukubavukela kuya kuzisa intlungu enkulu kubo, kuwe, yaye, ngaphezu kwako konke, kuYehova uThixo.—IMizekeliso 10:1; 27:11.

Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba sele uqalisile ukuphila ubomi obumbaxa? Ngaba ikho indlela onokukhululeka ngayo kuko? Amanqaku alandelayo aya kuxubusha ngale mibuzo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 16]

Ngaba uphila ubomi obumbaxa?