Ukoyisa Ukukhotyokiswa Yinto Ethile

UKUYEKA into ekukhobokisayo kufana nokufuduka kwindlu owakhulela kuyo. Kwanokuba loo ndlu sele indala yaye idilika, kunzima ukuyishiya. Ibilikhaya lakho.

Ukuba ukhotyokisiwe, loo nto ikukhobokisayo mhlawumbi ibilikhaya leemvakalelo zakho. Nangona lona belibubugxwayiba, kodwa ubuliqhelile. UCharles, ikhoboka lotywala elichachayo uthi: “Ubunxila ndibuqhelile. Kuyandithukuthezela ukuhlala ndinganxilanga.” Ukuyeka into ekukhobokisayo kuya kuba nzima, kodwa ukwenjenjalo kuwufanele umgudu.

Inyathelo lokuqala kukuyeka izinto ezikukhobokisayo.a Ungaphozisi maseko okanye usuke uzixelele ukuba akuzi kuphumelela. Zisuka nje zilahle zonke izinto ezikukhobokisayo nezinye izinto ezihamba nazo. Emva koko kuya kufuneka uthi xha ukuzisebenzisa, nto leyo maxa wambi ekunokuba bhetele xa uyenza phantsi kweliso likagqirha. Esi sisiqalo sokuzinxwema oza kukwenza ubomi bakho bonke. Kodwa musa ukucinga ukuba akunakukwazi ukukwenza oko. Qala ngokuzibekela usukelo onokulufikelela: ukuyeka kangangenyanga, iveki, okanye usuku. Xa lide laphela xesha ngalinye kula, ungakhange woyisakale, zimisele ngakumbi kwisigqibo sakho.

Esi sisiqalo nje sokuguqula ukukhotyokiswa. IBhayibhile isibongoza ukuba “sizihlambulule kuko konke ukudyobheka kwenyama nokomoya.” (2 Korinte 7:1) Ukukhotyokiswa akudyobhi inyama nje kuphela. Kukwachaphazela umoya, okanye amandla okucinga. Yintoni enokukunceda uchache, ngokwenyama nangokomoya?

Kufuneka Wenze Umgudu Ngokuqhubekayo

UGqr. Robert L. DuPont uthi: “Ukukhotyokiswa kusisigulo somzimba uphela.” Ngenxa yoko, ukoyisa ukukhotyokiswa kufanele kujoliswe kumntu ephela. Kumele kuguqule yonke imilinganiselo yakho. Oku kuthabath’ ixesha. Akunakuchacha ukuba ufuna undlela-lula. Naziphi na izithembiso zokuba ungachacha ngokukhawuleza zinokusuka zikhokelele ekubuyeleni kwikakade ngokukhawuleza.

Idabi lokulwela ukwenza okulungileyo liyaqhubeka. Umpostile uPawulos ongumKristu wabhala: “Ndibona mthetho wumbi, emalungwini am, usilwa nomthetho wengqiqo yam.” (Roma 7:23) Kwakhona wabhala esithi amaKristu afanele ‘abufeze ubungcwele.’ (2 Korinte 7:1) Incwadi ethi Word Pictures in the New Testament iphawula ukuba igama elithi “sibufeza” apha alithethi, “ukuba ngcwele ngokugqibeleleyo ngephanyazo, kodwa kuyinto eqhubekayo.” Ngoko ukoyisa ukukhotyokiswa yinto ethile kwenziwa ngokuthe ngcembe.

Ukufuna Unobangela

Kwabaninzi, ukukhotyokiswa kulilinge lokulibala iziganeko ezibuhlungu zexa elidluleyo. UJanis uthi: “I-bulimia [ukutya ngokungalungelelananga] yayindenza ndingakhumbuli nto. Yaba licebo lam lokufumana isiqabu.” KuJanis, ukungafuni kwakhe ukucinga ngeziganeko zexa elidluleyo kwabangela ukukhotyokiswa kwakhe kwendela. Ukuqonda isizathu sokuba enze izinto ngendlela awayezenza ngayo kwamnceda uJanis wabuyis’ unyawo ekukhotyokisweni kwakhe.

Bambi bayayiyeka imikhwa yabo yangaphambili ibe bayakwazi ukuphumelela ngaphandle kokuhlolisisa iziganeko zexesha elidluleyo. Abanye bafumanisa ukuba ezaa mvakalelo bazifumana kula meko babekuyo zikhe zifune ukuvusa ikakade labo. Basenokuvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo nomdumisi uDavide, owabhala oku: “Ndigocagoce, Thixo, uyazi intliziyo yam; ndicikide, uzazi iingcinga-ngcinga zam; ubone ukuba kukho ndlela yobubi na kum, undikhaphele kwindlela engunaphakade.”—INdumiso 139:23, 24.

Ukuqhubana Neemvakalelo

Ngaba wakha wathi uphuma kwisakhiwo ekumnyama thsu kuso wee ntla ngokukhanya kwelanga? Umele ukuba wancina amehlo koko kukhanya udibene nako ngephanyazo. Ngokufanayo, xa uqala ukulwa nezinto ezikukhobokisayo, usenokufumanisa ukuba uhlaselwa ngesiquphe nakabuhlungu ziimvakalelo ezingakuphi siqabu. Uthando, umsindo, ikratshi, umona, uloyiko, ingqumbo nezinye iimvakalelo obuzifukamile ngoku ziyaqandusela.

Ixhala lisenokukwenza uhlehlele kwakoba bumnyama ubuqhelileyo bokusebenzisa kakubi into ethile. Kodwa akufuneki uzibaleke iimvakalelo zakho. Zinokuba ngumthombo oluncedo wenkcazelo kuwe. Ngokufuthi iimvakalelo sukuba zikuxelela ukuba kukho into ekufuneka unikele ingqalelo kuyo. Ngoko ukuba kuyimfuneko, cinga ngeemvakalelo zakho. Yintoni le zikuxelela yona? Ukuba akusiqondi kakuhle isigidimi sazo okanye ukuba iimvakalelo zibonakala zikongamela, zityand’ igila kumhlobo othile oqolileyo. (Yobhi 7:11) Akuyomfuneko ukuba ujamelane neemvakalelo zakho wedwa.—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 12:25.

Khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo azisoloko ziziintshaba zakho. UYehova uThixo uba nazo iimvakalelo ezinzulu, ibe nomntu—odalwe ngokomfanekiselo kaThixo—ukwanjalo. (Genesis 1:26; INdumiso 78:21, 40, 41; 1 Yohane 4:8) Njengokuphandlwa lilanga, neemvakalelo zisenokuba buhlungu ekuqaleni. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha nazo, njengelanga, ziya kuba ngumthombo wokhokelo nokufudumala.

Ukucombulula Iingxaki

Ukuhamba entanjeni ephezulu koyikisa gqitha kumntu okoyikayo ukuhamba ezindaweni eziphakamileyo. Kulowo ukhotyokisiweyo oqala ukuchacha, ubomi busenokufana nokuhamba okoyikekayo kwintambo ephezulu. Iimbopheleleko eziphakamileyo zokuba yingcathu zisenokuzisa uloyiko olufanayo nolokuhamba kwintambo ephezulu, ngokungathi kunjalo. Ukulindela ukuba uza koyisakala kusenokukubangela ucinge ngolu hlobo: ‘Ndiza kuwa kakade. Kutheni ndingaqali apho bendiyeke khona?’

Kodwa khumbula, iingxaki azikuhlaseli. Zona ziziimeko nje ezifuna kuhlangatyezwane nazo. Ngoko ungaxhali. Yilwa neengxaki zakho nganye nganye. Oku kuya kwenza uzijonge ngendlela efanelekileyo.—1 Korinte 10:13.

Ukuzixabisa

Ikhoboka lotywala elichachayo elinguMarion, kwafuneka lilwe nemvakalelo yokungazixabisi. Lithi: “Ngaphakathi, ndandisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba ukuba ndinokuziveza into endiyiyo, [abantu] abayi kundithanda.”

Ukuphuncula ekukhotyokisweni kufuna ukuba ufunde—mhlawumbi okwesihlandlo sokuqala—ukuba nawe uxabisekile njengomntu. Kunzima oku ukuba ubomi bakho bebudlavulwe kukukhotyokiswa. Yintoni enokukunceda?

IBhayibhile yincwadi enikela intuthuzelo kwabantliziyo zaphukileyo. Inokukunceda wakhe ukuzihlonela okufanelekileyo. (INdumiso 94:19) Ngokomzekelo, umdumisi uDavide wabhala esithi abantu bathiwe jize “ngobuqaqawuli nangobungangamela.” Waphinda wathi: “Ndenziwe ngokoyikekayo, ngokubalulekileyo.” (INdumiso 8:5; 139:14) Anjani wona ukuba myoli amazwi abonisa ukuzihlonela okufanelekileyo!

Yiba nebhongo ngomzimba wakho, yaye uya kuwunyamekela ngokuvisisana nesi sibhalo: “Akukho namnye wakha wayithiya eyakhe inyama; usuka ayondle, ayigcine.” (Efese 5:29) Ewe, unokujamelana nocelomngeni lokuchacha ekukhotyokisweni.b

Noko ke, ukukhotyokiswa kunokuquka okungakumbi. Kukho izinto ezithile ezinokusukelwa ngokuzinikela okufanayo nangenjongo efanayo naleyo yokusukela iziyobisi, utywala nokutya. Siza kukhe siqwalasele ezinye zezi zinto zenziwayo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 15]

“Ukuchacha kuthetha ukuguqula yonke imilinganiselo [kabani].”—UGqr. Robert L. DuPont.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]

Inyathelo lokuqala kukuyeka izinto ezikukhobokisayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]

Xa iimvakalelo zikongamela, thetha ngazo