Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuyeka Njani Ukuthandana Nomntu Othile?

“NDINEMINYAKA engama-20 ubudala yaye ndiliNgqina likaYehova elibhaptiziweyo. Kodwa ndaqalisa ukwenza amadinga [nongakholwayo] oneminyaka engama-28 ubudala. Ndandimthanda, yaye ndandikholelwa kukuba naye wayendithanda. Abazali bam babengakwazi oku, kuba ndandisazi ukuba babengasayi kukwamkela. Xa bakufumanisayo, benzakala ngokweemvakalelo yaye bothuka. Babengakwazi ukusiqonda isizathu sokuba ndithandane nendoda yehlabathi.”

Labhala lisitsho elinye ibhinqa eliselula elingumKristu esiza kulibiza ngokuba nguMonique.a Kulusizi ukuthi abantu abaselula abaliqela baye bazifumana bekwiingxaki ezifanayo—ukuthabatheka okanye ukuthandana nongakholwayo, ubani ongadlelani nabo ngeenkolelo zabo zamaKristu nangemilinganiselo yokuziphatha. Inqaku elandulela eli kolu ngcelele kwakule nkupho libonise ukuba ulwalamano olunjalo asilulo olungamkholisiyo uThixo nje kuphela kodwa lukwasisisongelo esiyingozi kulonwabo nakwimpilo-ntle kabani. URuth oselula wayiqonda le nyaniso. Uyavuma esithi: “Ndaye ndasondelelana gqitha nomfana owayengelilo ikholwa. Noko ke, ndaqonda ukuba, ukuba ndandiza kuba nalo naluphi na uhlobo lolwalamano noYehova, kwakuza kufuneka ndiluphelise ulwalamano lwam naye.”

Ukuba ungumKristu, mhlawumbi unokuwakhumbula amazwi eBhayibhile akuYakobi 4:4 athi: “Anazi na ukuba ubuhlobo balo ihlabathi bubutshaba kuye uThixo? Othe ngoko wanga angaba sisihlobo salo ihlabathi, uzenza utshaba lukaThixo.” Kodwa ukuba uthandana nongakholwayo, kusenokungabi lula kangako ukuwasebenzisa la mazwi. Eneneni, ingcamango yokuphelisa ulwalamano lwenu isenokukongamela. Unokuziva wenzakele gqitha ngaphakathi. Usenokubuza: ‘Ndinokuyeka njani ukuthandana—nomntu othile?’

Umpostile uPawulos wakha wathi: “Kuba ndikholene nomthetho kaThixo ngokomntu ongaphakathi; kodwa ndibona mthetho wumbi, emalungwini am, usilwa nomthetho wengqiqo yam, undithimbela emthethweni wesono, lowo usemalungwini am. Athi ke mna, mntu uludwayi!” (Roma 7:22-24) Ngokufanayo noPawulos, usenokuba uzamazamana neemvakalelo zakho. Sekunjalo, iqela lolutsha olungamaKristu luye lwaphumelela kweli dabi yaye luye, ngokungathi kunjalo, ‘lwarhewulwa emlilweni.’ (Thelekisa uYuda 23, TE.) Njani? Ngokuphelisa ulwalamano oluyingozi ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke umonakalo ongenakulungiswa.

Ukufumana Uncedo

Ngokomzekelo, uMark wayeneminyaka eli-14 kuphela ubudala xa waba noko akubiza ngokuthi kukuthi “swii ingqondo” ngongakholwayo. Kunokuba afune uncedo, wazama ukuzigcina ziyimfihlo iimvakalelo zakhe. Kodwa uthando lwakhe ngale ntombazana lwaya lukhula ngokukhula. Kungekudala wayeyitsalela umnxeba ngokufihlakeleyo. Xa yaqalisa ukumtsalela umnxeba nayo, akuzange kube kudala ngaphambi kokuba abazali bakhe bakuqonde oko kwakuqhubeka.

Musa ukwenza impazamo efanayo yokuzama ukuyicombulula wedwa ingxaki. IMizekeliso 28:26 ithi: “Okholose ngeyakhe intliziyo usisidenge; ke yena ohamba ngobulumko uya kusinda.” Eneneni, ngaba ngowukule meko ukuyo ukuba bekungekho nto iphosakeleyo ngezigqibo ozenzayo kwasekuqaleni? Maxa wambi iimvakalelo zethu ziyakongamela ukucinga kwethu, yaye sifuna uncedo lomntu ongqondo ithe qwenge ngakumbi nonenjongo yokunceda. Ngokunokwenzeka abazali bakho ngabona bakulungeleyo ukukunceda, ngokukodwa ukuba bayamoyika uThixo. Ngokulindelekileyo, bakwazi ngakumbi kunaye nabani na. Bakha babatsha yaye banokuncedwa ukuba bayiqonde ingxaki yakho. Umbhali weBhayibhile uSolomon, kwiMizekeliso 23:26 ubongoza esithi: “Ndinike intliziyo yakho, nyana wam, amehlo akho akholiswe ziindlela zam.” Kutheni ungazityand’ igila kubazali bakho, uze ubenze bazi ukuba ufuna uncedo?

UJim oselula wenza kanye loo nto. Wayezamazamana nentabatheko enamandla awayenayo ngentombazana awayefunda nayo. Uthi: “Ekugqibeleni ndacela uncedo lwabazali bam. Oko kwakusisikhokelo ekuzoyiseni ezo mvakalelo. Bandinceda kakhulu.” Ebone inkxaso enothando yabazali bakhe, uJim unikela eli cebiso: “Ndicinga ukuba namanye amaKristu aselula akafanele athandabuze ukuthetha nabazali bawo. Nxibelelanani nabo. Baya kuniqonda.”

Ekwimeko efanayo, uAndrew oselula wasebenzisa olunye uhlobo loncedo. Ngokuphathelele ubukho bakhe kwindibano yesiphaluka yasekuhlaleni yamaNgqina kaYehova, uthi: “Enye yeentetho yandichukumisa. Umveleli wesiphaluka wanikela isiluleko esinamandla nxamnye nokuba nolwalamano nabesini esahlukileyo abangengawo amaKristu. Ndaqonda ukuba ndandifanele ndilungise indlela endandicinga ngayo kwangoko.” Ngoko wenza ntoni? Okokuqala wathetha nonina, ongumzali ongenaqabane lomtshato, waza wangenelwa licebiso lakhe. Kwakhona wabonana nomdala webandla lasekuhlaleni lamaNgqina kaYehova, owakwazi ukumnceda ngokuqhubekayo. Abadala bebandla banokuba “njengendawo yokuzimela umoya, neyokusithela esiphangweni” kwabo babandezelekileyo. (Isaya 32:2) Kutheni ungabonani nomnye wabo, uze umazise ngoko kukukhathazayo?

Ukuluphelisa Ngokupheleleyo

Abazali bakaMark basabela kwangoko, xa bafumanisa ngolwalamano lwakhe oluyimfihlo. UMark uthi: “Bandixelela ngokuphandle ukuba ndiluphelise olo lwalamano. Ekuqaleni ndasabela ngokunemvukelo. Saxambulisana kabukhali, ndaza ndaya kuzivalela egumbini lam. Kodwa kwangoko ndacingisisa nzulu, ndaza ndaqonda ukuba usukelo lwam nolwale ntombazana lwalungafani. Oku kwakungasayi kuphumelela.” Ewe, ukucamngca ngobunyaniso bemeko leyo kunokukunceda ukwazi ukuzilawula iimvakalelo zakho. Khawuzibuze: ‘Ngaba lo mntu uyadlelana nam ngosukelo lwam, ngoko ndikukholelwayo, ngemilinganiselo yam yokuziphatha? Ukuba besinokutshata, ngaba lo mntu ebeya kuyixhasa imizamo yam yokukhonza uThixo? Ngaba lo mntu uyadlelana nam ngenzondelelo endinayo kwizinto zokomoya? Eneneni, kukuphi ukuvisisana okunokubakho kulwalamano olunjalo?’—Thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 6:14-18.

Noko ke, ukuluphelisa ngokupheleleyo akusayi kuba lula. UMonique, okhankanywe ekuqaleni uthi: “Ndazama kangangezihlandlo ezibini ukuluphelisa ulwalamano lwethu kodwa andaphumelela. Ndandingafuni ukwahlukana naye ngokupheleleyo. Ndazama ukunikela ubungqina kuye, ngethemba lokuba wayeya kumamkela uYehova. Ngenye imini wada weza kwintlanganiso yangeCawa. Kodwa wayengenamdla wokwenene ngoYehova. Ndaqonda ukuba ikhondo lobulumko yayikukwahlukana naye ngokupheleleyo.”

Oku kusikhumbuza ngamazwi kaYesu akuMateyu 5:30. Apho wathetha ngezinto ezinokuthintela ubani ukuba angene eBukumkanini bukaThixo—izinto ezisenokuxabiseka njengesandla sasekunene. Sekunjalo, uYesu wacebisa: “Sinqamle usilahle kuwe; kuba kukulungele kanye ukuba kutshabalale libe linye emalungwini akho, kunokuba umzimba wakho uphela uphoswe esihogweni [esifuzisela intshabalalo engunaphakade].” Ngokuvisisana nalo mgaqo, ngenkalipho bonana nalo mntu uthandana naye uze ‘uthethe inyaniso.’ (Efese 4:25) Ekuhleni—ningabi nedwa okanye kwimeko enokuvuselela uthando—menze acacelwe ngokuphandle ukuba ulwalamano lwenu luphelile. USheila oselula ukhumbula oku: “Okwandincedayo yaba kukuthabatha amanyathelo angqongqo. Singaphindi sitye isidlo sasemini kunye. Singaphindi sibonane ebudeni bexesha lokuzifundela kwigumbi leencwadi. Ndamenza wacacelwa kukuma kwam.” Intombazana engumKristu egama linguPam ngokufanayo yathetha ngokuphandle: “Ekugqibeleni ndamxelela ukuba ahlukane nam, ndaza ndasuka andamhoya.”

Ukunyamezela Intlungu

Emva kokwahlukana okunjalo, usenokuvakalelwa njengomdumisi owathi: “Ndiyapenapena, ndisibekeke kakhulu; yonke imini ndihamba-hamba ngezimnyama zokuzila.” (INdumiso 38:6) Ukuba buhlungu kangangexesha elithile kungokwemvelo. IBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba “ukulila kunexesha lako.” (INtshumayeli 3:4) Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba ube buhlungu ngokungapheliyo. Intlungu iya kuncipha njengoko ixesha lihamba. UMark uyavuma esithi: “Ewe, ndandibuhlungu kangangexesha elithile. Abazali bam bakuphawula oku baza benza ukuba ndinxulumane ngakumbi nolunye ulutsha olungamaKristu. Oku kwandinceda kakhulu.” UAndrew, owaziva edandathekile ngokufanayo emva kokwahlukana kwakhe namthandayo, uthi: “Abadala bandinceda. Kwakhona ndaxakeka ngakumbi kumsebenzi wokushumayela ndaza ndasondelelana nabazalwana abathile abangamaKristu endathi ndaqhogana nabo.” Ewe, zixakekise ngemisebenzi yokomoya. (1 Korinte 15:58) Ukwenza umsebenzi ofuna amandla okanye umthambo nako kusenokukunceda. Kuphephe ukuzenza ilolo. (IMizekeliso 18:1) Hlala ucinga ngezinto ezonwabisayo nezakhayo.—Filipi 4:8.

Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba, uYehova uya kukholiswa kukuba uye wema ngokunenkalipho. Zive ukhululekile ukucela uncedo nenkxaso yakhe ngomthandazo. (INdumiso 55:22; 65:2) USheila oselula ukhumbula oku: “Ndandithandaza ngokuphindaphindiweyo.” Ewe, akukho lula ukuphelisa ulwalamano oluyingozi. USheila uthi: “Nakubeni luphelile, maxa wambi ndiye ndicinge ngaye ndize ndizibuze ngoko anokuba uyakwenza. Kodwa wena namathela kwisigqibo osenzileyo, usazi ukuba ukholisa uYehova.”

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]

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