Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuyeka Njani Ukucinga Ngabesini Esahlukileyo?

‘YONKE imihla, amajelo eendaba onakalisa ukuziphatha okuhle kwabeshumi elivisayo ngamacebiso angakhiyo aze ahlekise ngesini; iingoma zerock ezingeentlobano zesini zinkenteza ezindlebeni zabo; inkitha yezona ncwadi zithengwayo zamabali othando zenza iintlobano zesini zibonakale ziyinto emnandi ngokwenene.’ Watsho njalo umbhali uLesley Jane Nonkin. Ewe, njengomntu okwishumi elivisayo, wonganyelwe zizikhuthazo zamajelo eendaba zokuba ucinge ngabesini esahlukileyo.

Kakade ke, kungokwemvelo ukuba nomdla othile kwabesini esahlukileyo.a Kodwa xa iingcinga, ukubhadula kwengqondo, nemibono engothando isongamela iingcinga zakho kangangokuba ungakwazi ukulala, ukuthandaza, ukwenza umsebenzi wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya, ukufunda iBhayibhile, okanye ukwenza imisetyenzana yasekhaya, oko kubonisa ukuba ubusengozini kangangexesha elithile. Eneneni, ukuhlala ucinga ngezinto ezingakhiyo ezinjalo kunokukhokelela kwihambo ephosakeleyo.—Yakobi 1:14, 15.

Oku akuthethi ukuba ufanele uyeke ukuphawula ukuba amantombazana—okanye amakhwenkwe—angabantu abakhoyo. Kodwa njengoko IMizekeliso 23:12 isitsho, ufanele ‘uyinikele intliziyo yakho eluqeqeshweni.’ Ewe, akukho sicombululo silula, napilisi yobugqi enokukunceda ukwenza oku. Noko ke, ngokwenza umgudu, unokuyilungelelanisa ngakumbi indlela ocinga ngayo. Makhe siqwalasele iindlela ezimbalwa eziluncedo onokukwenza ngazo oku.

Lulumkele Uhlobo Lwabantu Onxulumana Nabo

Khawuhlole uhlobo lwabantu onxulumana nabo. Omnye umfana wathi: “Bonke abantu abakungqongileyo bathetha ngokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini ngokungathi kuyinto eqhelekileyo njengokuya kutya ekhefi.” Ngaba ukuzichanaba ngokuthe rhoqo kwintetho enjalo kunokukuchaphazela? Ngokuqinisekileyo kunako. Ngokutsho kolunye uhlolisiso lolutsha, abathathu kwabane bavuma ukuba “ukufana (okanye ukungafani) nesininzi kwakuzilawula izimo zabo ngokuphathelele isini.”

Kuthekani ngabahlobo bakho? Ngaba zonke iincoko zenu ziguqukela ekubeni ziingxubusho ezishushu ngothile wesini esahlukileyo? Ngaba iincoko ezinjalo zithanda ukungalawuleki zize zibe ziintetho ezingamanyala okanye ezingcolileyo? Ukuba kunjalo, ukuthelela—okanye ukuphulaphula nje—kuya kukwenza kube nzima ngawe ukugcina ingqondo yakho itsoliswe kwizinto ezinyulu. IBhayibhile iyabongoza: “Kulahleni oku konke: ingqumbo, umsindo, ulunya, ukunyelisa; ukuthetha amanyala kungabikho emlonyeni wenu.”—Kolose 3:8.

Noko ke, kuya kuba nzima ukusebenzisa esi siluleko, ukuba amaqabane akho awayixabisanga kangako imigaqo yeBhayibhile; izimo zawo zengqondo ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kukwasulela ekuhambeni kwexesha. (IMizekeliso 13:20) Khawucinge ngamava enye intombazana engumKristu, eyathi: “Ndandingafuni ukubaxelela abantwana endandifunda nabo ukuba ndandingomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova. Ngoko babethetha ngokukhululekileyo nam ngesini ngamaxesha onke.” Kungekudala yabandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini yaza yakhulelwa. IMizekeliso 9:6 iyalumkisa: “Musa ukunxulumana nabantu abaziziyatha, uze uphile. Landela ikhondo lobulumko.” (Today’s English Version) Ewe, yiba phakathi kwabahlobo abadlelana nawe ngokuziphatha nangemilinganiselo yamaKristu, abahlobo abaya kukwakha ngokomoya—bangakudilizi.

Kambe ke, kwanamaKristu aselula ngokuqhelekileyo abonakalisa isimo sengqondo sokuhlonel’ uThixo ‘asenokukhubeka elizwini’ ngamaxesha athile. (Yakobi 3:2) Xa oko kusenzeka yaye incoko iqalisa ukuthabatha ikhondo elingafanelekanga, yintoni onokuyenza? IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba uKumkani uSolomon wathabatheka yintombazana eselula engumalusi. Noko ke, ayizange ibe namdla wakuthandana naye. Xa wambi kumaqabane ayo aselula azama ukuyikhuthaza ukuba ithandane noSolomon, ayizange izivumele ukuba inikezele kwiincoko zothando. Yathetha ngenkalipho, isithi: “Ndiyanifungisa . . . ukuba ningaluvuseleli uthando, lude luthande.” (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 2:7) Ngendlela efanayo, kusenokufuneka uthethe ngenkalipho xa incoko iqalisa ukungalawuleki. Ewe, akuyomfuneko ukuba ubagqogqe iindlebe abahlobo bakho. Kodwa ngokulula usenokuzama ukuwuguqula umxholo wencoko, uyenze incoko ibe yeyakhayo ngakumbi.

Ukuzonwabisa—Imfuneko Yokuba Ngokhethayo

Omnye ummandla ofuna ukuxhalatyelwa kukuzonwabisa. Imiboniso-bhanyabhanya, iivideo, okanye iidisc zomculo zamvanje zisenokubonakala zinomtsalane. Noko ke, iBhayibhile iyasikhumbuza: “Konke okusehlabathini, inkanuko yenyama, nenkanuko yamehlo, noqhankqalazo lobu bomi, asikokuphuma kuye uYise, kokuphuma ehlabathini.” (1 Yohane 2:16) Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ekuqaleni, inkoliso yokuzonwabisa kwanamhlanje yenzelwe ukuvuselela iimvakalelo zesini. Ngokomzekelo, iingoma nemiboniso-bhanyabhanya edumileyo, iye yaba yengafihli nto ngokugqithisileyo—ngokufuthi ibonisa amanyala.

Kusenokukuchaphazela njani ukuzichanaba kukuzonwabisa okunjalo? Umbhali uJohn Langone uthi: “Inkoliso yohlolisiso iye yabonisa . . . ukuba xa sichanabeka kwimibandela engothando, sityekela ekuncokoleni ngakumbi ngesini. Maxa wambi, oku kuchanabeka kusikhokelela ekulingeni izinto ebesingayi kuzilinga ngokuqhelekileyo.” Ewe, ‘ukunyamekela izinto zasenyameni’ kuya kukwenzakalisa ngokwenene. (Roma 8:5) Kuya kuguqula indlela olujonga ngayo uthando nesini kuze kuzalise ingqondo yakho ngemibono engacocekanga. Sithini isiluleko seBhayibhile? “Masizihlambulule kuko konke ukudyobheka kwenyama nokomoya sibufeza ubungcwele, sisoyika uThixo.” (2 Korinte 7:1) Ngoko yiphephe imiboniso-bhanyabhanya, iivideo, needisc zomculo ezikhuthaza inkanuko yesini.

Enye indoda engumKristu engatshatanga yakha yanikela eli cebiso liluncedo: “Musa ukuzondla ngezinto ezingcolileyo ngaphambi kokuba ulale. Imiboniso kamabonwakude emininzi edlalwa ebusuku ayifanelekanga kwaphela.” Kunjalo nangeencwadi ezininzi. Omnye umKristu oselula ogama linguSherry uthi: “Ndandidla ngokufunda iincwadi zamabali othando. Ndandiye ndizenzele imibono engesini, ndiphupha ngobomi obumnandi kwanokuba ngudlalani.” Ekubeni ingqondo yakhe yayizaliswe yimibono yothando, wawela ngokulula ekwanganeni nasekuphathaneni nomnye umfana. Iingxaki ezinjalo zinokuphetshwa ukuba unamathela ekufundeni imibandela ecocekileyo—njengalo lindixesha neqabane lakhe, IMboniselo. Ukufunda okunjalo kuye kwanceda ulutsha oluninzi ukuba ‘lunyamekele izinto zasemoyeni,’ kunezenyama ebuthathaka.—Roma 8:5.

Hlukana Naloo Mibono!

Maxa wambi iingcinga ngabesini esahlukileyo zisenokungena engqondweni yakho ngokungalindelekanga. UScott oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi: “Kukho amaxesha endiye ndikufumanise kunzima kakhulu ukuyeka ukucinga ngabesini esahlukileyo.” Okanye mhlawumbi usenokuba ubona inkwenkwe okanye intombazana ekhangeleka kakuhle. Ngaphambi kokuba uqonde, uzifumana ucinga ngayo. Kodwa kuyenye into ukuphawula ukuba ubani unomtsalane yaye kuyinto eyahluke ngokupheleleyo ukwenza oko uYesu walumkisa nxamnye nako, esithi, ‘ungaqhubeki umkhangele umntu oyinkazana ukuba umkhanuke.’ (Mateyu 5:28, NW; thelekisa IMizekeliso 6:25.) Xa uselula kakhulu ukuba ungatshata, ukuzondla ngemibono engenkanuko yothando kunokukudandathekisa kuze kukudimaze kuphela.—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 13:12.

Ngenxa yoko, uScott uthi: “Okundincedayo kukucinga ngenye into—ndiyeke ukucinga ngezinto ezindenza ndivuseleleke. Ndiye ndizikhumbuze ukuba ezi mvakalelo okanye iinkanuko ziya kuphela ekuhambeni kwexesha.” (Thelekisa eyabaseFilipi 4:8.) Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ndisuka ndiwuqobe umzimba wam ndiwuxinzelele phantsi.” (1 Korinte 9:27) Ngokufanayo, kusenokufuneka ulwe nomzimba wakho xa iingcinga ngabesini esahlukileyo zizama ukukhula. Ukuba ezi ngcinga ziyazingisa, zama ukwenza uhlobo oluthile lomthambo. “Eyeyomzimba ingqeqesho inceda kancinane,” yaye ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza okanye ukwenza umthambo imizuzu embalwa kusenokuba koko ukufunayo ukuze ulungelelanise ingqondo yakho.—1 Timoti 4:8.

Kwakhona ulutsha oluninzi luye lwafumanisa ukuba ‘ukuhlala luphuphuma umsebenzi weNkosi’ kuluncedo ngakumbi. (1 Korinte 15:58) UDebra oselula ukubeka ngolu hlobo oku: “Ndifumanisa ukuba icebo kukuzixakekisa ude uphelelwe ngamandla.” Ukubandakanyeka ngokupheleleyo kwibandla lamaKristu nakuyo yonke imisebenzi yalo kunokuba negalelo ekukuncedeni ulungelelanise indlela ocinga ngayo.

Nangona usenokuba uyazama, maxa wambi kusenokuba nzima ukubakhupha engqondweni yakho abesini esahlukileyo. Ukuba kunjalo, funa inkxaso yothile okhulileyo. Mhlawumbi unokuzityand’ igila komnye wabazali bakho. Cinga ngoko uCarl oselula wakuthethayo: “Kuye kwandinceda ukuzityand’ igila kuthile okhulileyo nonamava. Okukhona incoko iyengqalileyo, kokukhona kulunge ngakumbi.” Ngaphezu kwako konke, musa ukulujongela phantsi uncedo onokulufumana kuYihlo wasezulwini. Enye indoda engumKristu engatshatanga ithi: “Xa ndifikelwa ziinkanuko zesini, ndiye ndizinyanzele ukuba ndithandaze.” IBhayibhile ithi: “Masisondele ke ngoko sinokungafihlisi kuyo itrone yobabalo, ukuze samkeliswe inceba, sifumane ubabalo lokusiza ngexesha elililo.” (Hebhere 4:16) Ewe, uThixo akasayi kuwuphelisa umdla wakho kwabesini esahlukileyo. Kodwa ngoncedo lwakhe, unokufumanisa ukuba kukho ezinye izinto ezininzi onokucinga ngazo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ukuba incoko engabesini esahlukileyo iqalisa ukungalawuleki, yiba nenkalipho yokuwuguqula umxholo wencoko