Ukudinwa Engqondweni Nasemzimbeni—Ungahlangabezana Njani Nako?

BETHIWE mbende luxinezeleko ngenxa yamaxhala neengxaki zomhla nezolo, abaninzi bazama ukucima iintsizi zabo ngotywala. Utywala, esona siyobisi sisetyenziswa kakubi ngokubanzi namhlanje, sisetyenziswa ngabaninzi kumgudu wokuphepha izinto zokwenene ezinzima. Abanye baye bathembela kwiziyobisi ezithandwayo ezikhutshwa ngemvume kagqirha ukuze baqhubane namaxhala. Sekunjalo abanye babhenela kwiziyobisi eziphazamisa ingqondo, ezinjengomya, imethamphetamines necocaine. Kwanabantwana abaselula baye baziwa njengabasebenzisa iziyobisi ukuze babaleke izinto zokwenene ebomini. Kuthiwa ama-95 ekhulwini olutsha lwaseMerika aya kuba sele esebenzise umchiza ongekho mthethweni omnye okanye ngakumbi ngaphambi kokuba agqibe kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo.

Kwandule ke kubekho abo bazama ukuphepha uxinezeleko lomhla nezolo ngokuzonwabisa nabahlobo babo okanye ngokuzenza ngathi bonwabile ngoxa beziva bedandathekile ngaphakathi. Okanye ngezizathu eziphosakeleyo, bafuna ukuthandwa nokuthantanyiswa ngabesini esahlukileyo. Kodwa ukusebenzisa iindlela zokubaleka ukuhlangabezana noxinezeleko kwandisa unxunguphalo. Xa abantu bezama ukuxuba uxinezeleko notywala okanye neminye imichiza ephazamisa ingqondo, endaweni yokuzinceda, bakhawulezisa inkqubo yokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Ngoko, yintoni onokuyenza xa uziva ngaphakathi ukuba uya udinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni?

Indlela Esa Ekuchacheni

UVukani! akancomeli lunyango okanye mayeza athile. Sekunjalo, unikela amacebiso ambalwa aluncedo asekelwe kwimigaqo yeBhayibhile asenokukunceda ekuvuseleleni iimvakalelo ezifayo kuwe ngaphakathi. UGqr. Yutaka Ono, umalathisi kwiKeio University School of Medicine, uncomela izinto ezintathu zokuhlangabezana nokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Uyacacisa: “Ezi zinto zintathu kukuzilawula, unxibelelwano nokuqonda.”

Ukuze woyise iimvakalelo zokungabi nakuzinceda, umele ukwazi ukuziva uzilawula iimvakalelo nehambo yakho. Xa unxunguphalo lwemihla ngemihla lusongamela iimvakalelo zakho luze luqobe amandla akho okucombulula iingxaki, kulula ukukholelwa kwelokuba izinto azilawuleki. Noko ke, musa ukusong’ izandla uze uhlale ucinga ngeengcinga ezikhathazayo. Zama ukucombulula ingxaki yakho ngokuthe ngcembe. (Bona ibhokisi, ekwiphepha 10.) Musa ukulibazisa. Xa uqala ngokuthabatha amanyathelo angqalileyo, uya kuqalisa ukuziva ubhetele yaye ukwazi ukuzilawula.

Zama ukunciphisa izinto ezikucaphukisayo ezibangelwa ziimvakalelo ezidimazayo. Ngokomzekelo, abanye banomkhwa wokucatshukiswa zizo zonke izinto ezingenamsebenzi ebomini. Banyanzelisa ukuba izinto zenziwe ngendlela ethile baze bacaphuke xa abanye bengazenzi ngolo hlobo, okanye basenokunxunguphaliswa ziintsilelo zabo. Indoda esisilumko yamandulo yathi: “Musa ukuba lilungisa ngokukhulu, ungabi sisilumko ngokugqithiseleyo; yini na ukuba uziphanzise?” (INtshumayeli 7:16) Ukubambelela kwimilinganiselo ephakame kakhulu ube uzibona ukuba usoloko ungayifikeleli ngokuqinisekileyo kukwenza udinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni.

Isiluleko esibhekele phaya esiluncedo esivela eBhayibhileni sesokuba, “uhambe noThixo wakho ngokuthozamileyo.” (Mika 6:8) Ukuba ngothozamileyo kuthetha ukuyazi imida kabani okanye “ukungaziqobi.” Oku kusenokuthetha ukungazamkeli izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni ezifunwa emsebenzini.

Abo bayaziyo imida yabo bayalwamkela uncedo. Omnye umphathi olibhinqa owayedinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni wachaza ukuba undoqo wokukuphepha kukucela uncedo. Sekunjalo, njengokuba esitsho, “abantu abaninzi bayoyika ukucela uncedo ngenxa yokuba basenokujongwa njengabasilelayo emsebenzini wabo.” Enoba ngumsebenzi wasendlwini, umsebenzi wasesikolweni okanye umsebenzi wengqesho—nokuba yintoni na enokukwenza udinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni—wabe umsebenzi ukuba kunokwenzeka. Uya kumangaliswa kukubona indlela izinto eziphunyezwa ngayo ngaphandle kokuba wena ulawule yonke into.—Thelekisa iEksodus 18:13-27.

Usenokufuna ukuphumla. Ukubethwa ngumoya kusenokuba yingenelo kulowo ongalixhoba lokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Noko ke, ukuba iimeko zakho azikuvumeli oko, “ukuba uyayazi indlela yokuzonwabisa, oko kungakunceda,” utsho njalo umphengululi uAnn McGee-Cooper. Ukuthabatha ikhefu ngokwenza umsebenzi owahlukileyo kusenokwandisa isiqhamo, kushukumisela ingqondo yakho ekuveliseni isiphiwo esihle. Oko kwacetyiswa nguKumkani uSolomon kwiminyaka eyadlulayo kuseyinyaniso: “Kulungile ukuzalisa sandla sinye ngokuphumla, kunokuzalisa zozibini izandla ngemigudu nokusukelana nomoya.”—INtshumayeli 4:6.

Ukunxibelelana Nabantu Abanokukuxhasa

Eyesibini into uGqr. Ono awayikhankanyayo ibandakanya unxibelelwano. Okubangela umdla kukuba abacimi-mlilo kunqabile ukuba badinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Oku kusenokubangelwa kukuba ukongezelela ekugqalweni kwabo njengamaqhawe, bamanyaniswe kukubambisana. Xa ubani eneqela elimxhasayo anokuthembela kulo, linokumnceda. Unokuyifumana phi inkxaso ethuthuzelayo namhlanje? Ichaza iindlela zoogqirha zokuhlangabezana nokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni, incwadi ethi Moetsukishokogun (Isifo Sokudinwa Engqondweni Nasemzimbeni) ithi: “Koogqirha, iintsapho zabo, ngokukodwa amaqabane abo, zingabona baxhasi baphumelelayo nabokwenene ngokweemvakalelo.” Wonk’ ubani ufuna ubani angazityanda igila kuye ngeemvakalelo zobuqu. Kulo mbandela wonxibelelwano, iBhayibhile inikela icebiso elisebenzisekayo. Ikhuthaza izibini ezitshatileyo ukuba zihlale zithandana yaye ixelela zonke ukuba zibe nabahlobo abanokuzinika amacebiso okwenene nasebenzayo.—IMizekeliso 5:18, 19; 11:14.

IUSA Today ithi: “Simele sizakhele inkqubo yethu yabahlobo nentsapho esondeleyo yokusixhasa.” Yandula yalek’ umsundulo ngokuthi: “Kwakhona simele sizive sikhululekile ukusebenzisa inkxaso yamaziko ethu onqulo neenkonzo zempilo yezengqondo.” Ngokuphathelele indlela yokusebenzisa inkxaso yezonqulo ukuze kufumaneke uncedo, umntakwabo Yesu ngonina uYakobi wabhala: “Kukho mntu na ufayo phakathi kwenu? Makabizele kuye amadoda amakhulu alo ibandla, athandaze wona phezu kwakhe, akuba emthambisile ngeoli, egameni leNkosi.” (Yakobi 5:14) AmaKristu anengxaki asenokuziva ehlaziyekile ngokuthetha nabadala bamabandla amaNgqina kaYehova. Nangona abadala bengezizo iingcali zokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni, inkxaso yokomoya abayinikelayo ixabiseke gqitha.

Ngoxa inkqubo yokuxhaswa ngabantu isenokusenza sizive bhetele ngolunye usuku, ayinakusoloko yanele. Kwingabula zigcawu yencwadi yakhe, ethi Helplessness, uMartin E. P. Seligman wachaza ukuba ngumoya wokuzimela geqe obonakala eNtshona ongunobangela wokwanda kodandatheko namhlanje, ibe wavakalisa imfuneko yokufumana intsingiselo ebomini. Wandula wabonisa ukuba “enye into ebalulekileyo ukuze kufumaneke intsingiselo ikukuzayamanisa nento eyongamileyo kunawe.” Nangona abantu abaninzi namhlanje bengaluthabathi nzulu ulwalamano lwabo noThixo, ukunxibelelana noMdali—ngokuqinisekileyo “omkhulu kunawe”—kunokukunceda uhlangabezane neemvakalelo zokungabi nakuzinceda.

UKumkani uDavide, owajamelana namanqam amaninzi, wakhuthaza abalawulwa bakhe esithi: “Kholosani ngaye ngamaxesha onke, nina bantu; phalazani intliziyo yenu phambi kwakhe. UThixo ulihlathi kuthi.” (INdumiso 62:8) UThixo ukulungele ukubeka indlebe, ‘kwanakwizincwino zethu ezingathethekiyo.’ (Roma 8:26) Ukumcela ngokunyanisekileyo kuphumela kuxolo olunako ‘ukuzigcina iintliziyo zenu neengqiqo zenu’ nxamnye nokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni.—Filipi 4:6, 7.

Ukutshintsha Imbono Yakho

Ekugqibeleni, utshintsho lusenokufuneka kwindlela oyijonga ngayo imeko yakho. Ukuqonda, kuyinto yokugqibela uGqr. Ono ayicebisayo njengendlela yokuhlangabezana nokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Xa sixinezeleke gqitha, sidla ngokufuna ukuzijonga ngokulandulayo zonke izinto size siwele kumgibe wokuphelelwa lithemba. Noko ke, simele sijonge izinto ngendlela yokwenene. Hlolisisa enoba sikho okanye asikho ngokwenene na isizathu sokucinga ngokulandulayo ngolo hlobo. Ngaba isiphumo siya kuba sibi njengendlela osicingela ngayo? Zama ukujonga izinto ngenye indlela.

Iphephancwadi iParents lithi: “Usenokuqalisa ngokucinga ukuba ukuba udinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni, kungenxa yokuba mhlawumbi ‘unobuchule,’ kungekhona kuba ‘usilela.’” Khumbula: Uhlobo lwabantu oluchanabeke ekudinweni engqondweni nasemzimbeni lunemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yaye luyabakhathalela abanye. Eyona nto iluncedo kwixhoba lokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni ngamazwi oxabiso. Kuya kumnceda gqitha umama ukuba umyeni nabantwana bakhe bavakalisa baze babonakalise uxabiso ngawo wonke umsebenzi obandakanyekileyo ekugcineni ikhaya. Ukuba umphathi okwisikhundla esiphakathi udinwe engqondweni nasemzimbeni emsebenzini, amazwi oxabiso asenokuyiphucula imbono yakhe.

IBhayibhile ibonisa indlela umfazi onesidima anconywa kakhulu ngayo: “Bayasuka oonyana bakhe, bathi unoyolo; iyasuka indoda yakhe imdumise; ithi, zininzi iintombi ezenza ngokunesidima; ke wena uzidlule zonke ziphela.” (IMizekeliso 31:10, 28, 29) Eneneni, “linqatha lobusi amazwi amnandi, ayincasa emphefumlweni, ayimpiliso emathanjeni.”—IMizekeliso 16:24.

UShinzo, umdala ongumKristu okhankanywe kwinqaku lokuqala, wachacha ngokuphawulekayo ekudinweni kwakhe engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Nangona wafumana uncedo kubantu abaqeqeshiweyo, into eyamnceda kakhulu uShinzo yayiyimithandazo yakhe kuYehova. Ngokuvisisana nemithandazo yakhe enyanisekileyo yokufumana uncedo, kwenzeka wadibana nomdala owayeqale ukufunda naye iLizwi likaThixo. Loo mdala, kwanabanye abadala, bamxhasa ngokuphulaphula izinto ezazimxhalabisa. Kwinkupho yangaphambilana yalo lindixesha umfundayo ngoku, amanqaku athetha ngokoyisa iimvakalelo ezidakumbisayo wawafundelwa ngumfazi wakhe. (October 8, 1992) Ngokuthe ngcembe waqonda ukuba wayezama ukuzenzela yonke into. Indlela yakhe yokujonga izinto ezazisenzeka kufutshane naye yaqalisa ukutshintsha. Nangona ekuqaleni waziva ekwimeko engenakuze iphele yokuphelelwa lithemba, waqonda ukuba ithemba lalikho de ekugqibeleni waphumela ngaphaya kwezo ngxaki.

Kanye njengoShinzo, nawe unako ukuhlangabezana nokudinwa engqondweni nasemzimbeni uze uphinde ujamelane nobomi.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 10]

Iindlela Ezili-12 Ezibalulekileyo Ekuthinteleni Ukudinwa Engqondweni Nasemzimbeni

OKU kulandelayo kusekelwe kumacebiso nje ambalwa anikelwa yingcali yeekliniki ekunyangeni izigulo zengqondo.

1. Zilawule iingcinga, iimvakalelo nehambo yakho—umthandazo uluncedo olukhulu.

2. Xa uqalisa ukukhathazeka, cinga ngenye into eluncedo neyakhayo.

3. Xa ucaphuka, phefumlela phezulu uze uphumle.

4. Zama ukubona iimeko ngendlela omnye umntu azibona ngayo ukuze uqonde indlela uxinezeleko oluye lwakhula ngayo.

5. Nikela ingqalelo koko ukuxabisayo kwabanye uze ubancome. Musa ukuncoma nokuba yintoni na kodwa ncoma okufanelwe kukunconywa.

6. Kwazi uze ukugalel’ amanzi ukucinga okulandulayo nokungakhiyo.

7. Yazi indlela yokungavumi xa amandla nocwangciso lwakho lufuna wenjenjalo.

8. Yenza umthambo othile suku ngalunye—ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kulungile.

9. Baphathe ngentlonelo abanye, ufuna ukuba bakhuphe ezona mpawu zintle.

10. Hlala unoburharha nesimo sengqondo sovuyo.

11. Iingxaki zakho zomsebenzi zishiye emsebenzini.

12. Okumelwe kwenziwe namhlanje kwenze—musa ukukubekela amangomso.

(Kusekelwe kwelithi “Ukuqhubana Neemvakalelo, Ukoyisa Ukudinwa Engqondweni Nasemzimbeni,” nguRuth Dailey Grainger, American Journal of Nursing, January 1992.)