Xa Abazali Beqweqwedisa

EMVA kweminyaka yokubandezeleka ngenxa yokubethwa ngogonyamelo nokuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo ngumyeni wakhe waza ekugqibeleni loo myeni wakhe wamshiya kwesinomhlwa waya kwelinye ibhinqa, uCheryl wafaka isicelo soqhawulo-mtshato.a Enikwe ilungelo elipheleleyo lokugcina abantwana yinkundla, ngokuthe ngcembe wafumana isiqabu njengokuba wayeqalisa ukulungisa ubomi bakhe—de kwaba yenye imini ekwathi kwakhala umnxeba ngayo. Yayingulowo wayesakuba ngumyeni wakhe. Wathi: “Ukuba ufuna ukuphinda ubone abantwana bakho, umele uvume siphinde sitshate”! Bengavunyelwa ukuba babuyele kunina emva kotyelelo lwabo olungangenyanga noyise kwilizwe lakhe lokuzalwa, abantwana bakaCheryl babeqweqwedisiwe.

Ekhathazeke gqitha, uCheryl wabhenela kwiSebe leSizwe laseUnited States kodwa akazange ayifumane indlela engokwasemthethweni yokufumana abantwana bakhe abakwelinye ilizwe. Iimvakalelo zokungabi nakuzinceda ngokupheleleyo awayeba nazo ukutyhubela loo minyaka yokubethwa zaqala phantsi. Uthi: “Phantse kube yinto efanayo. Akuyazi indlela yokukunqumamisa.”

“Ugonyamelo Lwasengqondweni”

Ukuqweqwedisa kwabazali kuye kwabizwa ngokuba “lolona gonyamelo lukhulu lwasengqondweni” olwenziwa komnye umzali nasemntwaneni. UCarolyn Zogg, umalathisi oyintloko weChild Find of America, Inc., wathi ngokuphathelele abaqweqwedisi abanjalo: “Abazali abaninzi abenza oku babuyisa isixhiba, yaye basibuyisa ngeyona ndlela imbi ibe bekwenza oko kweyona nto ingakhuselekanga. Leyo yeyona nto isenyongweni [kubazali abafumene ilungelo elisemthethweni lokugcina abantwana]—eyona nto yabo ixabisekileyo, abantwana babo. . . . Abacingi ngomntwana, kuphela bacinga ngabo nangokuziphindezelela—ukubuyisa isixhiba.”

Ukuqweqwediswa komntwana akubangeli umzali azive enomsindo, elahlekelwe, engenakuzinceda yaye enexhala kuphela kodwa phantse amaxesha amaninzi kwenzakalisa iimvakalelo zomntwana ukusa kumkhamo othile. Kwezinye iimeko umntwana usenokunyanzeleka ukuba aphile ngokuba ngunothwal’ impahlana, ephepha ukusondelelana kakhulu nomnye umzali nokuva izinto ezigqwethiweyo nobuxoki ngomnye umzali. Loo mava asenokuvelisa udederhu lokungalungelelani, njengokuchama ebhedini, ukuphelelwa bubuthongo, ukuba yinceke, ukoyika iifestile neminyango nokoyika ngokugqithisileyo. Kwanakubantwana abadadlana, kusenokubakhathaza kuze kubacaphukise.

EUnited States, nyaka ngamnye kukho iimeko ezingaphezu kwama-350 000 apho umzali ethabatha umntwana esaphula umyalelo wenkundla welungelo lokugcina umntwana okanye esilela ukubuyisa umntwana ngexesha avunyelwe ngalo. Kwiimeko ezingaphezu kwe-100 000 kwezi, umntwana uyafihlwa lelinye ilungu lentsapho ngenjongo yokumhlutha ngokusisigxina komnye umzali. Abanye bayemkiswa kweli lizwana okanye kwanakweli lizwe bahlala kulo.

Ezinye Izizathu

Ngaba kusoloko kungumnqweno wokuxolelanisa okanye umoya wokuziphindezelela oshukumisela abazali ukuba bebe abantwana babo? UMichael Knipfing weChild Find uchaza ukuba abanye abazali bayoyika ukungaliphumeleli idabi lokulwela ilungelo lokufumana abantwana nalowo wayesakuba liqabane labo yaye “ngenxa yolo loyiko bayabathimba.” Okanye xa ilungelo lokugcina abantwana sele lazisiwe aze omnye umzali angabaniki amanye amalungelo okutyelela, kubakho unxunguphalo. Lo kaKnipfing uthi: “Ukuba uyamthanda umntwana wakho uze ungavunyelwa ukuba umbone umntwana wakho, uye utyekele ekucingeni ukuba ayikho enye into onokuyenza ngaphandle kokuba uthathe umntwana uze uphel’ emehlweni.”

Kwakhona uchaza ukuba ‘inkoliso yabantu ayiziqondi iziphumo zokuqweqwedisa umntwana. Ayiqondi ukuba kuza kuba nzima ukuba ifumane umsebenzi. Iziqinisekiso zomthetho zokubanjwa kwayo zikhutshiwe. Icinga ukuba ingxaki iphakathi kwayo nomnye umzali. Ayiqondi ukuba abakwantsasana babandakanyekile. Ifuna amagqwetha amabini endaweni yelinye kuba ngoku inesimangalo sokwaphula umthetho ebekwa sona kwakunye nengxaki ephathelele amalungelo omntu, angokuba ngubani na ofumana ilungelo lokugcina umntwana.’

Abanye abazali bakrokrela ukuba umntwana wabo uyenzakaliswa ngomnye umzali. Ukuba inkqubo yomthetho ayiyilungisi ngokukhawuleza imicimbi, ngoko umzali onexhala usenokwenza izinto engakhathali ukuba iziphumo ziya kuba njani na. Oku kwabonwa kwimeko kaHilary Morgan oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala. Omnye ugqirha wezigulo zengqondo zabantwana wacebisa ukuba uHilary angaphindi atyelele uyise, echaza ukuba ubungqina bokuba uye waxhatshazwa “bucacile yaye buyeyisa.” Noko ke, inkundla yagqiba kwelokuba oko kuxhatshazwa kwakungaqinisekanga yaye yawisa umthetho wokuba angatyelela kungekho mntu umkhaphayo. UGqr. Elizabeth Morgan, unina kaHilary, esaphula umyalelo wenkundla, wayifihla intombi yakhe. Abantu abaninzi bayavelana nomzali onjalo oqweqwedisayo aze asabe ngenjongo yokukhuseleka.

Kwimeko kaElizabeth Morgan, waphulukana nomsebenzi wakhe wokuba ngugqirha, wachitha iminyaka engaphezu kwemibini enkolonkoloza ngaphaya kwezitshixo ibe waba namatyala ezonyango nawezomthetho angaphezu kweedola ezisisi-1,5 lezigidi (iirandi ezisisi-5,4 lezigidi). Wachazela iU.S.News & World Report: “Iingcali zandixelela ukuba umntwana wam ngoku wayeza kushiywa ziingqondo ubomi bakhe bonke ukuba ndandingazange ndinqumamise oko kuxhatshazwa. . . . Kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndiwenze ngokwam umsebenzi inkundla engazange ivume ukuwenza: Ndisindise umntwana wam.”

Kuyinyaniso ngokwenene oko kwafunyaniswa ngabaphengululi uGreif noHegar ngokuphathelele ukubiwa kwabantwana ngabazali: “Ezi ziziganeko ezintsonkothe gqitha ezithi, njengesiziba samanzi esinzulu, zibonakale zahluke kancinane kuxhomekeka kwindawo ozijongele kuyo; xesha ngalinye ubani eqolozela emanzini ubona into angakhange ayibone.”—When Parents Kidnap—The Families Behind the Headlines.

Ukongezelela kubantwana abaqweqwediswa ngumzali okanye ngumntu abangamaziyo, kukho izigidi zabanye abantwana abalahlekayo kulo lonke ihlabathi—abagxothwayo nabashiya ikhaya. Bangoobani, yaye kwenzeka ntoni kubo?

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]