Ukuhlala Kunye Ngothando

Makhulu noTatomkhulu endibathandayo,

Niphila njani? Ndicinga ukuba ndingenwa yingqele.

Enkosi ngokudlala nam ngalaa mini. Nandisa epakini nasequleni lokuqubha. Kwakumnandi kakhulu.

Ngomhla we-11 kuFebruwari kunyaka ozayo, siza kuba nekonsathi esikolweni. Ukuba ningakwazi ukuza kwakhona, ncedani nize.

Sonwaba kakhulu xa nikho, Makhulu nawe Tatomkhulu.

Ncedani nizinyamekele, hlalani niphilile lonke ixesha. Kuza kubanda, ngoko zilumkeleni ningangenwa yingqele.

Ndikhangele phambili kwixesha elizayo eniza kufika ngalo nize nidlale nam. Ncedani nindibulisele kuYumi nakuMasaki.

NguMika (waseJapan)

NGABA abazukulwana bakho babekhe bakubhalela ileta efana nale? Ukuba kunjalo, ukuyifumana kwakho, ngokungathandabuzekiyo yakwenza wavuya kakhulu. Iileta ezinjalo zibubungqina bolwalamano oluhle nolunomsa phakathi kootatomkhulu noomakhulu kunye nabazukulwana. Kodwa yintoni efunekayo ukuze uzuze, ulondoloze uze womeleze olu hlobo lolwalamano? Yaye lusenokungqineka luyingenelo njani kuzo zonke ezi zizukulwana zintathu?

Uthando—“Intambo Yogqibelelo”

URoy noJean, utatomkhulu nomakhulu ababini baseBritani, bathi: “Sivakalelwa kukuba, imigaqo eyintloko kukugqala ubuntloko nokuphathana ngothando.” La maNgqina kaYehova mabini acaphula ngokungqalileyo kwiSibhalo esikweyabaseKolose 3:14, esichaza uthando lomKristu ‘njengentambo yogqibelelo.’ Uthando lwenza kubekho intlonelo, kunikelwe ingqalelo ngolwazelelelo, umsa nomanyano lwentsapho. Xa utata efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, intsapho yonke iyabaleka iyokumhlangabeza ukuze imamkele ngobubele. Ukuba kukho uthando entsatsheni, kwenzeka into efanayo xa kufika utatomkhulu nomakhulu. “Nank’ umakhulu notatomkhulu!” udanduluka atsho umntwana onemincili. Ngaloo ngokuhlwa, izizalwane zihlala phantsi ukuze zitye isidlo sangokuhlwa, yaye utatomkhulu elandela isithethe sasekuhlaleni, uhlala kwindawo elungiselelwe intloko-ntsapho etafileni. Ngaba unombono wakho nentsapho yakho nikule ndawo inothando? Ngaba uyayinandipha le ntsikelelo?

“Isithsaba Sokuhomba Zizimvi”

Licacile elokuba ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bamele baqhubeke bethandwa, kungekhona nje ngamaxesha akhethekileyo. Ngenxa yesi sizathu abantwana kufuneka bahlale befundiswa oko. Abantwana bakufunda entsatsheni ukuthanda izalamane nabanye abantu, belandela umzekelo omiselwa ngabazali babo. Umzekelo wabo ubalulekile, batsho njalo abaninzi ekwakhe kwadliwan’ iindlebe nabo ngalo mbandela. UMacaiah, ubawo waseBenin City, eNigeria, uthi: “Ndiyacinga ukuba umzekelo wam wokuhlonela umkhwe nomkhwekazi nawo ubancedile abantwana bam ukuba bathobeke baze babe nentlonelo. Umkhwe nomkhwekazi wam ndibabiza ngokuthi ‘Tata’ nangokuthi ‘Mama.’ Abantwana bam bayeva yaye bayabona ukuba ndibahlonela njengabazali bam.”

Ukuba abazukulwana bayasilela ukuhlonela uyisemkhulu noninakhulu, basenokukhathazeka, bengakhathazwa kukungahloneli kwabo, kodwa kukuba abazali babo bengabaqeqeshi. UDemetrio, utatomkhulu waseRome, eItali, uthi: “Indlela abasithanda ngayo intombi nomkhwenyana wethu ndiyibona kwindlela ababafundisa ngayo abazukulwana bethu ukuba basibeke baze basihlonele.” Ngamathuba athile, abazukulwana basenokubadela ootatomkhulu noomakhulu, ngokungathi ngabanye abantwana abadlala nabo abangoontanga babo, okanye babajongele phantsi. Yimbopheleleko yabazali ukulungisa naluphi na utyekelo olunjalo. UPaul, iNgqina laseNigeria, uthi: “Malunga nonyaka odluleyo, abantwana bam baqalisa ukumjongela phantsi umama wam. Xa ndakuphawulayo oku, ndabafundela IMizekeliso 16:31: ‘Isithsaba sokuhomba zizimvi,’ ndaza kwakhona ndabakhumbuza ukuba uMakhulu ngumama wam. Kanye njengokuba bendihlonela, bafanele bamhlonele naye. Kwakhona ndafunda nabo isahluko 10 sencwadi ethi Ubutsha Bakho—Ukufumana Okona Kulungileyo Kubo,a esinomxholo othi ‘Ubajonga Njani Abazali Bakho?’ Ngoku, abanayo nayiphi na ingxaki ekuhloneleni uyisemkhulu noninakhulu.”

Iingenelo Zokuhlakulela Ulwalamano Lwentsapho

Ukuthandana kunokuhlakulelwa kwanokuba amalungu entsapho ahlala qelele elinye kwelinye. UStephen, utatomkhulu waseNigeria, uthi: “Sibhalela umzukulwana wethu ngamnye. Ukwenza oku kufuna umgudu, kodwa umvuzo wokwakha nokulondoloza ulwalamano olusenyongweni nabazukulwana ube mkhulu gqitha.” Imigudu yabazali ibalulekile ngokuphathelele oku. Bambi, ngokuvunyelwa ziimeko zabo, baqhubeka benxibelelana ngomnxeba.

UGiuseppe, utatomkhulu waseBari, eItali, onabazukulwana abali-11, uchaza indlela ababuhlakulele ngayo ubuhlobo obufudumeleyo namalungu asenyongweni entsapho yakhe: “Okwangoku, iintsapho ezintathu kwezintandathu ezibumba ‘isizwe’ sam zihlala kude. Kodwa oko akusenzi ukuba singenzelani izinto size sibuthe kunye sonwabe. Sinesiko lokuba sihlanganisane ndawonye ubuncinane kanye ngonyaka, singama-24 sisonke.”

Xa ootatomkhulu noomakhulu behlala bodwa, ukuba ukutyelelana, ukutsalelana umnxeba okanye ukubhalelana namalungu entsapho akwenziwa rhoqo, kusenokungabikho lwalamano luhle. Umsa ufanele ubonakaliswe ngokuqhubekayo. Bambi ootatomkhulu noomakhulu abasengamaqina okanye abasenempilo entle bafuna ukuzihlalela ngoxa besenamandla bekwazi nokuzenzela izinto. Noko ke, ukuba bazahlula ngokupheleleyo kumalungu entsapho, basenokufumanisa ukuba xa sele kufuneka ngakumbi ukuthandwa ngawo, asenokungakwenzi ngokukhawuleza oko.

Elinye icebiso elisebenzisekayo lisuka kuMichael, utatomkhulu waseNigeria: “Ndisebenzisa uMgaqo Okhokelayo kaYesu—ukwenza oko abanye ufuna bakwenze kuwe. Ngenxa yeso sizathu abantwana bam bandithanda kakhulu. Sinonxibelelwano oluhle.” Wongezelela oku: “Xa omnye wabazukulwana bam esenza okuthile okundikhathazayo, ndithetha naye xa kuyimfuneko. Kodwa ukuba kokuthile endinokukubetha ngoyaba, ndikuphosa kwelokulibala.”

Xa ootatomkhulu noomakhulu besipha abazukulwana izipho ezincinane nokubenzela izinto ezincinane ezibonisa ububele kunokubenza basabele ngendlela evumayo. Amazwi obubele nakhuthazayo, kunezikhalazo ezingapheliyo, kwenza ubomi bentsapho bube myoli. Ukuchitha ixesha nabazukulwana, ubafundisa imidlalo ehlekisayo nemisetyenzana eluncedo, ubabalisela amabali eBhayibhile okanye imbali yentsapho, kudala iinkumbulo ezimyoli nezingalibalekiyo. Izinto ezincinane ngolo hlobo kodwa ezibalulekileyo zenza ubomi bunandipheke ngakumbi.

Iingenelo Zokuhlonelana

Ugqirha Gaspare Vella uthi: “Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu, kufuneka balumke bangalichasi okanye bakhuphisane negunya labazali lokukhulisa umntwana.” Walek’ umsundulo athi, “Kungenjalo badlulela ngaphaya kommandla wendima yabo njengotatomkhulu nomakhulu baze babe ngutatomkhulu nomakhulu abangabazali.” Eli cebiso livisisana noko kuthethwa ziZibhalo, ukuba abazali banembopheleleko eyintloko yokuqeqesha abantwana babo.—IMizekeliso 6:20; Kolose 3:20.

Ngenxa yokuba benamava ebomini, kulula ngotatomkhulu nangomakhulu ukunikela icebiso. Noko ke, bamele balumke banganikeli isiluleko esingafunekiyo yaye maxa wambi esingamkelekanga. URoy noJean bathi: “Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba abazali banembopheleleko eyintloko yokuqeqesha nokohlwaya abantwana babo. Maxa wambi ubani usenokuvakalelwa kukuba bangqongqo gqitha yaye kwezinye iimeko abakho ngqongqo ngokwaneleyo. Ngenxa yoko kukho imfuneko yokulwa nesilingo sokwenene sokufuna ukungenelela.” UMichael noSheena, utatomkhulu nomakhulu baseBritani, bayavumelana nale ngongoma: “Ukuba abantwana bacela icebiso lethu, siyabanika, kodwa asilindelanga ukuba balamkele, okanye siphazamiseke xa bengalamkeli.” Kuhle ukuba abazali abakhulileyo babe nentembelo koonyana nakwiintombi zabo ezitshatileyo. Intembelo enjalo iphucula ulwalamano phakathi kwezi zizukulwana zintathu.

UVivian noJane, abahlala emazantsi eNgilani, benza umgudu wokuxhasa uqeqesho oludluliselwa kubazukulwana babo ngawo onke amaxesha, ngunyana nomolokazana wabo, abahlala nabo: “Asizami ukubeka uluvo lwethu xa sivakalelwa ngokwahlukileyo. Beqonda ukuba sixhasa unina noyise, abantwana abakhe bazame ‘ukusixabanisa.’” Naxa abazali bengekho, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bamele babe nobulumko ekuqeqesheni abazukulwana. UHarold, waseBritani, uthi: “Naluphi na uqeqesho utatomkhulu okanye umakhulu abonayo ukuba lusenokufuneka xa bengekho abazali lufanele lube luxutyushwe kusengaphambili nabazali.” UHarold wongezelela ngelokuba ilizwi lobubele, kodwa elingqongqo kubazukulwana okanye nje ukubakhumbuza “oko bekuya kufunwa ngabazali” ngokufuthi kwanele.

Xa uChristopher, utatomkhulu waseNigeria, ephawula ukusilela okuthile ebantwaneni bakhe, uyakuphepha ukuthetha ngako kukho abazukulwana bakhe: “Ndinikela nasiphi na isiluleko esifunekayo xa ndinabazali kuphela.” Ngokufanayo, abazali, kufuneka benze eyabo indima ngokuqinisekisa ukuba indima katatomkhulu nomakhulu iyahlonelwa. UCarlo, utata ohlala eRome, eItali, uthi: “Kubalulekile ukuba ungaze ukhalaze ngeentsilelo zikatatomkhulu nomakhulu okanye ezamanye amalungu entsapho phambi kwabantwana.” UHiroko, umama waseJapan, uthi: “Xa kuvela ingxaki phakathi kwam nabantu basemzini wam, ndiqala ndiyixubushe nomyeni wam.”

Indima Yokufundisa Kootatomkhulu Noomakhulu

Ntsapho nganye inembali yayo, amasiko namava ayo ayahlula kuzo zonke ezinye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bayakwazi ukulanda imbali yentsapho. Ngokutsho kwesinye isaci saseAfrika, “ukufa kwendoda endala kufana nokutsha kwethala leencwadi.” Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu badlulisela iinkumbulo ngembali yezalamane nangeziganeko ezibalulekileyo zentsapho, kunye nemilinganiselo yentsapho ngokufuthi eyenza intsapho imanyane ngokuluqilima. Kungasathethwa ngokhokelo olunikelwa yiBhayibhile, enye ingcali yathi ukuba “abantu abaselula abazikhumbuli izinto ezingokwembali, bakhula ngaphandle kwesiseko samava ezinto ezenzeka ngaphambi kwabo, abanamilinganiselo, abazithembanga yaye abakhuselekanga.”—Gaetano Barletta, Nonni e nipoti (Ootatomkhulu Noomakhulu Kunye Nabazukulwana).

Abazukulwana bayakuthanda ukuphulaphula ibali elingomama notata nezinye izizalwana ngoxa babesebancinane. Ukubuka ialbham eneefoto kunokubafundisa yaye kubonwabise gqitha. Obunjani ububele novuyo olunokubakho njengoko utatomkhulu nomakhulu bebalisa ibali ngeziganeko ezadlulayo njengokuba zibonwa kwiifoto.

UReg noMolly, utatomkhulu nomakhulu ababini baseBritani abangamaNgqina kaYehova, bathi: “Ulonwabo siye salufumana ngokuthi sihlale nabazukulwana size senze izinto kunye nabo, ngaphandle kokuba sibe ngoogqadambekweni kulwalamano lwabo noMama noTata, siphendula imibuzo yabo emininzi, sidlale nabo, sifunde nabo, sibabonise indlela yokubhala, sibaphulaphule xa befunda, sibe nomdla onothando kwizinto abazifunda esikolweni.”

Impazamo enkulu ootatomkhlu noomakhulu kunye nabazali abaninzi abayenzayo kukuzikhathaza ngempilo-ntle yasemzimbeni yabantwana nabazukulwana kuphela. UReg noMolly, abakhankanywe ngasentla, bathi: “Elona lifa likhulu esinokulinika abantwana bethu nabazukulwana kukubabona bekhulela elwazini oluyinyaniso lweLizwi likaThixo.”—Duteronomi 4:9; 32:7; INdumiso 48:13; 78:3, 4, 6.

Ukwenza Ngokuvisisana Nemfundiso Yobuthixo

IBhayibhile eNgcwele, iLizwi likaThixo, ‘iyasebenza’ ebantwini. Inamandla okubanceda balawule okanye baphelise iimpawu ezibangela ukungavisisani, ezinjengokuzingca nekratshi. (Hebhere 4:12) Ngoko ke, abo bazisebenzisayo iimfundiso zayo, banandipha uxolo nomanyano entsatsheni. Esinye sezibhalo ezininzi ezinceda ezi zizukulwana zintathu ukuba zivale umsantsa osenokuba ukho phakathi kwazo ngamaFilipi 2:2-4, akhuthaza zonke ukuba zibonakalise uthando nokuthobeka kwentliziyo, zilondoloze umanyano, ‘zingaxuneli kwezazo izinto zodwa, zixunele nakwezabanye.’

Xa besenza ngokuvisisana nemfundiso yobuthixo, abazali nabazukulwana ngokufanayo basithabatha ngokunzulu isiluleko ‘sokubuyekeza umbuyekezo kubazali nooninakhulu,’ ngokwezinto eziphathekayo, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya. (1 Timoti 5:4) Benoloyiko olufanelekileyo ngoYehova, babonakalisa intlonelo enzulu ngoomakhulu nootatomkhulu, bekhumbula amazwi akhe athi: “Suka ume ebusweni bengwevu, ububeke ubuso bexhego, umoyike uThixo wakho.” (Levitikus 19:32) Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu babonakalisa ukulunga ngokusebenzela impilo-ntle yenzala yabo: “Olungileyo ushiya ilifa kubazukulwana bakhe.”—IMizekeliso 13:22.

Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu, abazali nabazukulwana, enoba bahlala kunye okanye akunjalo, banokuzuza iingenelo kulwalamano olunomsa olusekelwe kuthando nakwintlonelo, kanye njengokuba IMizekeliso 17:6 isithi: “Isithsaba samadoda amakhulu ngoonyana boonyana; isihombo soonyana ngooyise.”

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8]

Ukuhlanganiswa kwakhona kwentsapho kunokuba negalelo kumanyano lwentsapho

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]

Uyihlomkhulu nonyokokhulu bayakhuthazeka xa ubabhalela

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Ukubuka ialbham yentsapho nabazukulwana bakho kunokuba ngamava akhuthazayo