Ukutyhila Oonobangela Bentetho Etshabhisayo
“Umlomo uthetha ngokuphuma kwintabalala esentliziyweni.”—MATEYU 12:34.
MALUNGA namawaka amabini eminyaka eyadlulayo, uYesu Kristu wathetha la mazwi angasentla. Ewe, amazwi athethwa ngumntu asoloko ebonisa ezona mvakalelo neentshukumisa zakhe ezinzulu. Asenokuba ngawokuncoma. (IMizekeliso 16:23) Kwelinye icala, asenokuba yinkohliso.—Mateyu 15:19.
Elinye ibhinqa lathi ngeqabane lalo: “Kubonakala ukuba uyakuthanda ukuba ligqabi ngumsindo ngaphandle kwesizathu, yaye ngokufuthi ukuhlala naye kufana nokuhamba kwibala elizele ziziqhushumbisi—akuze uyazi into enokumenza agqabhukelwe ngumsindo.” URichard uchaza imeko efanayo ngomfazi wakhe. Uthi: “ULydia usoloko elungele ukulwa. Akathethi nje kuphela; undihlasela ngamazwi ebonisa ukuqaqadeka, endikhomba ngomnwe ngokungathi ndingumntwana.”
Kambe ke, iimpikiswano zisenokuvela nakweyona mitshato iphumelelayo, yaye onke amadoda nabafazi bathetha izinto abazisolayo ngazo kamva. (Yakobi 3:2) Kodwa intetho etshabhisayo emtshatweni iquka okungakumbi kunoko; iquka ukuthob’ isidima namazwi okugxeka acetyelwe ukulawula iqabane likabani. Maxa wambi, amazwi enzakalisayo afihlwa ngaphaya kobulali. Ngokomzekelo, umdumisi uDavide wayichaza ngolu hlobo indoda eyayinelizwi elithambileyo, kodwa ikhohlakele ngaphakathi: “Yena wayethetha kamnandi, kodwa intliziyo yona ifukam’ inkohlakalo. Amazwi akhe ayelalanisa, kodwa engebukhali, eyintshengenca!” (INdumiso 55:21, TE; IMizekeliso 26:24, 25) Enoba ikhutshwa ngokuphandle okanye iyafihlwa, intetho erhabaxa inokuwonakalisa umtshato.
Indlela Eqala Ngayo
Yintoni ebangela umntu asebenzise intetho etshabhisayo? Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukusetyenziwa kwentetho enjalo kunokulandwa emva koko ubani akubonayo nakuvayo. Kumazwe amaninzi amazwi ahlabayo, izithuko, nokuthob’ isidima kugqalwa njengento eyamkelekileyo nehlekisayo.a Amadoda ngokukhethekileyo anokuphenjelelwa ngamajelo eendaba, asoloko ebonisa amadoda “okwenene” engoozwilakhe yaye ekhohlakele.
Ngokufanayo, abaninzi abasebenzisa intetho edimazayo bakhulela kumakhaya apho umsindo, ingqumbo nentiyo yomzali ibibonakaliswa ngokuthe rhoqo. Ngaloo ndlela, besebancinane, bayaqonda ukuba olu luhlobo oluqhelekileyo lwesimilo.
Umntwana okhulele kwimekobume enjalo akayi kufunda indlela yokuthetha nje kuphela; usenokuba nembono egqwethekileyo ngaye nangabanye. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba kusetyenziswa intetho erhabaxa emntwaneni, usenokukhula eziva engaxabisekanga, exhokonxelwa ukuba abe nengqumbo. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntwana uva uyise ethuka unina? Kwanokuba umntwana usemncinane kakhulu, unokufunda indelelo anayo uyise ngamabhinqa. Inkwenkwe isenokusifunda isimo sengqondo sikayise sokuba indoda kufuneka iwalawule amabhinqa yaye indlela yokukwazi ukuwalawula kukuwoyikisa okanye ukuwenzakalisa.
Umzali onomsindo usenokukhulisa umntwana onomsindo, oya kuthi akhule “ekuthanda ukuba nomsindo” nokwenza “iziphoso ezininzi.” (IMizekeliso 29:22, umbhalo osemazantsi weNW) Ngaloo ndlela ilifa eliyintetho eyenzakalisayo linokudluliselwa lisuka kwesinye isizukulwana ukusa kwesinye. Ngesizathu esilungileyo, uPawulos waluleka oobawo esithi: “Musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu.” (Kolose 3:21) Okuphawulekayo kukuba, ngokutsho kweTheological Lexicon of the New Testament, igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ukucaphukisa,’ linokubhekisela “ekulungeleni nasekuqhwayeni ingxabano.”
Kambe ke, impembelelo yabazali ayikuthetheleli ukuhlasela abantu, ngamazwi okanye ngenye indlela; kodwa iyanceda ekuboniseni indlela utyekelo lokuthetha rhabaxa olunokwendela nzulu ngayo. Umfana usenokungambethi umfazi wakhe, kodwa ngaba umxhaphaza ngamazwi akhe nangemeko yakhe eguquguqukayo? Ukuzihlolisisa kunokumenza umntu aqonde ukuba uye wafunda indelelo kayise ngamabhinqa.
Ngokucacileyo, le migaqo ingasentla iyasebenza nakumabhinqa. Ukuba unina uthuka uyise, intombi isenokumphatha ngendlela efanayo umyeni wayo xa itshatile. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Kulungile ukuhlala ezweni eliyintlango, kunokuhlala nomfazi onengxabano neengqumbo.” (IMizekeliso 21:19) Sekunjalo, indoda kufuneka ilumke ngokukhethekileyo kule nkalo. Ngoba?
Amandla Abo Bacinezelayo
Ngokuqhelekileyo indoda inegunya elingakumbi emtshatweni kunomfazi. Ngokufuthi isoloko inamandla, isenza naziphi izisongelo zokwenzakalisa nezinye izoyikiso ezingakumbi.b Ukongezelela, indoda ngokufuthi inobuchule obungakumbi bomsebenzi, nobuchule bokuziphilisa ingaxhomekekanga mntwini kwaye ifumana imali eninzi. Ngenxa yoku, ibhinqa elixhatshazwa ngamazwi lisenokuziva livalelekile yaye lililolo. Lisenokuvumelana nengxelo kaKumkani uSolomon osisilumko: “Ndabuya ke mna, ndakubona konke ukucudisa okwenziwayo phantsi kwelanga. Ndazibona iinyembezi zabacudisiweyo, bengenamthuthuzeli; esandleni sabacudisi babo kuphuma ububhovubhovu, bengenamthuthuzeli bona.”—INtshumayeli 4:1.
Umfazi usenokudideka xa umyeni wakhe eguquguquka—abe nesimilo ngesinye isihlandlo, abe ngogxekayo ngesinye. (Thelekisa uYakobi 3:10.) Ngaphezu koko, ukuba umyeni wakhe uyazilungiselela iintswelo eziyimfuneko zezinto eziphathekayo, umfazi olixhoba lokuthukwa usenokuziva enetyala ngokucinga ukuba kukho nto ithile engahambi kakuhle kumtshato wabo. Usenokude azibek’ ityala ngehambo yomyeni wakhe. Elinye ibhinqa livuma ngelithi: “Kanye njengomfazi obethwayo, bendisoloko ndicinga ukuba ndim obangela ukuba ndithukwe.” Omnye umfazi uthi: “Oku kwandibangela ndacinga ukuba, ukuba nje ndinokuzama ngamandla ukumqonda ndize ‘ndibe nomonde’ ndiya kuba seluxolweni.” Okulusizi kukuba, ngokufuthi ukuphathwa kakubi kuyaqhubeka.
Eneneni kulusizi ukuba amadoda amaninzi alisebenzisa kakubi igunya analo ngokulawula amabhinqa ekusenokuba enza isifungo sokuwathanda nokuwagcina. (Genesis 3:16) Kodwa yintoni enokwenziwa ngemeko enjalo? Omnye umfazi uthi: “Andifuni kumshiya, ndifuna nje ukuba ayeke ukundixhaphaza.” Emva kweminyaka esithoba yomtshato, enye indoda iyavuma: “Ndiyaqonda ukuba kulwalamano lwethu kukho oxhatshazwa ngamazwi yaye ndim oxhaphazayo. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndifuna ukutshintsha, kungekhona ukuhamba.”
Lukho uncedo kwabo banemitshato edlavulwe ngamazwi awenzakalisayo, njengoko inqaku elilandelayo liza kubonisa.
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Kuyabonakala ukuba, oku kwakunjalo ngenkulungwane yokuqala. IThe New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology ithi “kumaGrike ukuthuka abanye okanye ukunyamezela izithuko zomnye umntu bobunye ubuchule umntu abanabo ebomini.”
b Ingcwangu ebonakaliswa ngamazwi inokuphumela kugonyamelo lwasekhaya. (Thelekisa iEksodus 21:18.) Omnye umcebisi wabafazi abaxhatshazwayo uthi: “Onke amabhinqa ezayo ukuza kufuna umthetho owakhuselayo ekubethweni, ekuhlatyweni, okanye ukukrwitshwa okubeka ubomi bawo engozini, ukongezelela, ebesoloko enembali ende nebuhlungu yokuxhatshazwa okungabandakanyi ukubethwa.”
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 22]
Okulusizi kukuba, amadoda amaninzi alisebenzisa kakubi igunya analo ngokulawula amabhinqa ekusenokuba enza isifungo sokuwathanda nokuwagcina
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 23]
Umntwana uyaphenjelelwa yindlela abazali bakhe abaphathana ngayo