Ukuguqula Amazwi Awenzakalisayo Abe Ngaphilisayo

“Ukufa nokuphila kusemandleni olwimi.”—IMIZEKELISO 18:21.

UKUNYELISA—ukuthuka nokusebenzisa intetho etshabhisayo ngabom—kugwetywa ngokucacileyo eBhayibhileni. Phantsi koMthetho kaMoses, umntu owayenyelisa abazali bakhe wayenokugwetyelwa ukufa. (Eksodus 21:17) Ngaloo ndlela, uYehova uThixo akawuthabathi lula lo mbandela. ILizwi Lakhe, iBhayibhile, aliyixhasi ingcamango yokuba nantoni na eyenzeka ‘ngasese’ ayibalulekanga logama nje ubani esithi ukhonza uThixo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba nawuphi na umntu uzibona engumnquli ofanelekileyo ukanti engalubambi ngomkhala ulwimi lwakhe, kodwa eqhubeka ekhohlisa intliziyo yakhe, uhlobo lonqulo lwalo mntu luphuthile.” (Yakobi 1:26; INdumiso 15:1, 3) Ngoko ukuba indoda ixhaphaza umfazi wayo ngamazwi, yonke eminye imisebenzi eyenzayo yobuKristu isenokungaxabiseki emehlweni kaThixo.a—1 Korinte 13:1-3.

Ngaphezu koko, umKristu othukayo unokugxothwa ebandleni. Unokude aphulukane neentsikelelo zoBukumkani bukaThixo. (1 Korinte 5:11; 6:9, 10) Licacile elokuba, umntu onamazwi awenzakalisayo kufuneka enze utshintsho olukhawulezileyo. Kodwa oku kunokufezwa njani?

Ukutyhila Le Ngxaki

Licacile elokuba, umoni akanakutshintsha de abe ukuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba unengxaki enzulu. Ngelishwa, njengokuba omnye umcebisi watsho, amadoda amaninzi asebenzisa intetho etshabhisayo “akayijongi ikukuxhaphaza konke konke indlela enza ngayo. Kula madoda, izenzo ezinjalo ziqheleke ngokupheleleyo yaye ziyindlela ‘engokwemvelo’ amadoda nabafazi abaqhubana ngayo.” Ngenxa yoko, abanakuyibona imfuneko yokutshintsha de le meko iziswe ngokungqalileyo kwingqalelo yabo.

Amaxesha amaninzi, emva kokuyiqwalasela ngomthandazo imeko yakhe, umfazi uya kuziva enyanzelekile ukuba athethe ngayo—ukwenzela intlalontle yakhe neyabantwana bakhe nangenxa yenkxalabo ngokuma komyeni wakhe phambi koThixo. Liyinyaniso elokuba, kusoloko kukho ithuba lokuba ukuthetha kusenokuzenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi yaye usenokukhanyela alale ngomqolo ukuba uyakwenza oko. Mhlawumbi umfazi unokukuthintela oku ngokuyicingisisa kakuhle kusengaphambili indlela aya kuwubeka ngayo lo mbandela. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ziilamuni zegolide kwizitya zesilivere ezimakhazikhazi ilizwi elithethwe latyapha.” (IMizekeliso 25:11) Ukuthetha ngobulali kodwa ngokuphandle ngethuba eningaxabananga ngalo kunokuyifikelela intliziyo yakhe.—IMizekeliso 15:1.

Kunokutyhola omnye umntu, umfazi ufanele azame ukuvakalisa indlela amazwi ahlabayo amchaphazela ngayo. Ngokufuthi ukusebenzisa amazwi athi “Ndi” kunceda gqitha. Ngokomzekelo, ‘Ndibuhlungu ngenxa yokuba . . .’ okanye ‘Ndiziva ndityumke intliziyo xa usithi kum . . .’ Kulula ngakumbi ukuba amazwi anjalo afikelele intliziyo, kuba ahlasela ingxaki kunokuba ahlasele umntu.—Thelekisa iGenesis 27:46–28:1.

Ukungenelela komfazi ngokuqinileyo nangendlela enobuchule kunokuba nemiphumo emihle. (Thelekisa INdumiso 141:5.) Indoda esiza kuyibiza ngokuba nguSteven yakufumanisa kunjalo oku. Ithi: “Umfazi wam wabona kum utyekelo lokuxhaphaza endandingaluboni mna, yaye waba nenkalipho yokundixelela ngalo.”

Ukufumana Uncedo

Kodwa unokwenza ntoni umfazi ukuba indoda yakhe iyala ukuyamkela le ngxaki? Kweli thuba bambi abafazi bakhangela uncedo ngaphandle. Ngamaxesha onxunguphalo olunjalo, amaNgqina kaYehova anokuya kubadala bebandla lawo. IBhayibhile iyawabongoza la madoda ukuba abe nothando nobubele xa esalusa umhlambi kaThixo wokomoya yaye, kwangaxeshanye, ‘bohlwaye abo bayiphikisayo’ imfundiso ephilileyo yeLizwi likaThixo. (Tito 1:9; 1 Petros 5:1-3) Ngoxa kungeyondima yabo ukuba ngoogqada-mbekweni kwimicimbi yobuqu yezibini ezitshatileyo, abadala ngokufanelekileyo baba nenkxalabo xa elinye iqabane lihlaselwa lelinye ngamazwi arhabaxa. (IMizekeliso 21:13) Enamathela ngokusondeleyo kwimilinganiselo yeBhayibhile, la madoda akayithetheleli okanye ayenze into engenamsebenzi intetho etshabhisayo.b

Abadala banokukwazi ukubangela ukuncokolisana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Ngokomzekelo, omnye umdala waxelelwa libhinqa elithile ukuba kwakusele kuyiminyaka lixhatshazwa ngamazwi yindoda yalo, eyayikhonza kunye nayo. Lo mdala walungiselela ukudibana nabo bobabini. Njengoko ngamnye kubo wayethetha, wacela ukuba omnye aphulaphule ngaphandle kokuphazamisa. Xa yayilithuba lakhe, lo mfazi wathi wayengasenakuwunyamezela umsindo odubulayo wendoda yakhe. Wathi kangangeminyaka, ekupheleni kosuku ngalunye wayesoyika, engazi enoba yayingayi kubuya iligqabi ngumsindo kusini na. Xa udubula umsindo wayo, yayithetha izinto ezithob’ isidima ngentsapho yakhe, abahlobo bakhe, nangobuntu bakhe.

Lo mdala wacela lo mfazi ukuba achaze indlela amazwi endoda yakhe awayemenza azive ngayo. Waphendula ngelithi: “Ndandivakalelwa kukuba ndingumntu ongathandekiyo ekungekho mntu unokumthanda. Maxa wambi ndandidla ngokubuza umama, ‘Mama, ngaba ndingumntu ekunzima ukuhlala naye? Ngaba andithandeki?’” Njengoko wayechaza indlela amazwi ayo awayemenza azive ngayo, indoda yakhe yaqalisa ukulila. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala, yakwazi ukuyibona indlela eyayimenzakalisa ngokunzulu ngayo umfazi ngamazwi ayo.

Unako Ukutshintsha

Wambi amaKristu ngenkulungwane yokuqala ayenengxaki yentetho etshabhisayo. Umpostile ongumKristu uPawulos wawaluleka ukuba alahle ‘ingqumbo, umsindo, ububi, intetho etshabhisayo nentetho engamanyala.’ (Kolose 3:8) Noko ke, intetho erhabaxa yingxaki ebangelwa yintliziyo kunokuba ibangelwe lulwimi. (Luka 6:45) Kungenxa yoko uPawulos wongezelela ngelithi: “Buhlubeni ubuntu obudala kunye noqheliselo lwabo, nize nambathe ubuntu obutsha.” (Kolose 3:9, 10) Ngoko utshintsho alubandakanyi nje ukuthetha ngokwahlukileyo kodwa lukwaquka ukuvakalelwa ngokwahlukileyo.

Indoda esebenzisa amazwi awenzakalisayo isenokufuna ukuncedwa iqonde oko kuyiqhubela kwihambo yayo.c Iya kufuna ukuba nesimo sengqondo esifana nesomdumisi owathi: “Ndigocagoce, Thixo, uyazi intliziyo yam; ndicikide, uzazi iingcinga-ngcinga zam; ubone ukuba kukho ndlela yobubi na kum.” (INdumiso 139:23, 24) Ngokomzekelo: Kutheni ivakalelwa kukuba imele ililawule iqabane layo? Yintoni ebangela ukuba ilihlasele ngamazwi? Ngaba ukulihlasela kwayo kubonisa ukuba inengqumbo enzulu? (IMizekeliso 15:18) Ngaba ineemvakalelo zokungaxabiseki, mhlawumbi ezibangelwa kukukhula ihlatyw’ amadlala? Imibuzo enjalo inokuyinceda indoda ifumanise unobangela wehambo yayo.

Noko ke, intetho etshabhisayo kunzima ukuyincothula, ingakumbi ukuba ibethelelwe ngabazali abebesebenzisa amazwi ahlabayo okanye sisithethe esikhuthaza ubuzwilakhe. Kodwa nantoni efundiweyo—ngokuhamba kwexesha nangomgudu owenziwayo—inokuguqulwa. IBhayibhile iluncedo kakhulu kule nkalo. Inokumnceda ubani aguqule kwaneyona ndlela yokuziphatha eyendele ngokunzulu. (Thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 10:4, 5.) Njani?

Imbono Efanelekileyo Ngeendima Ezabelwe NguThixo

Ngokufuthi, amadoda asebenzisa amazwi awenzakalisayo anembono egqwethekileyo ngeendima uThixo azabele indoda nomfazi. Ngokomzekelo, umbhali weBhayibhile uPawulos uthi abafazi “mabathobele amadoda abo” kwaye “indoda iyintloko yomfazi wayo.” (Efese 5:22, 23) Indoda isenokuvakalelwa kukuba ubuntloko buyinika ilungelo lokulawula ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa oku akunjalo. Umfazi wayo, nangona eyithobela, akalokhoboka layo. “Ungumncedi” ‘nomphelelisi’ wayo. (Genesis 2:18, NW) Ngenxa yoko, uPawulos uyongezelela: “Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo. Lowo umthandayo umfazi wakhe uyazithanda, kuba akukho mntu wakha wayithiya inyama yakhe; kodwa uyayondla aze ayiphathe ngononophelo, njengoko noKristu esenjenjalo kulo ibandla.”—Efese 5:28, 29.

Njengentloko yebandla lamaKristu, uYesu akazange abangxolise abafundi bakhe, ebabangela ukuba balindele ngexhala ixesha abaya kuphinda bahlatyw’ amadlala ngalo. Kunoko, wayethantamisa, ngaloo ndlela elondoloza isidima sabo. Wabathembisa oku: “Ndiza kunihlaziya. Ndinomoya wobulali ibe ndithobekile ngentliziyo.” (Mateyu 11:28, 29) Ukucamngca ngomthandazo ngendlela uYesu awabusebenzisa ngayo ubuntloko bakhe kunokuyinceda indoda ibujonge ubuntloko bayo ngendlela elungelelene ngakumbi.

Xa Kuvela Iingxaki

Ukwazi imigaqo yeBhayibhile yenye into; ukuyisebenzisa xa usengxakini yenye. Xa kuvela iingxaki, indoda inokukuphepha njani ukuphinda isebenzise amazwi arhabaxa?

Indoda ayibonisi uphawu lobudoda ngokuthetha ngomsindo xa icaphukile. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ozeka kade umsindo ulunge ngaphezu kwegorha; okulawulayo ukufutha kwakhe ulunge ngaphezu kothimba umzi.” (IMizekeliso 16:32) Indoda yokwenene iyawulawula umoya wayo. Ibonisa uvelwano ngokucingisisa: ‘Amazwi am amchaphazela njani umfazi wam? Bendiya kuvakalelwa njani mna ukuba bendinguye?’—Thelekisa uMateyu 7:12.

Noko ke, iBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba, ezinye iimeko zisenokubangela umsindo. Ngeemeko ezinjalo umdumisi wabhala: “Qumbani, ningoni; thethani neentliziyo zenu ezinkukweni zenu, nithi cwaka.” (INdumiso 4:4) Bekusoloko kusithiwa: “Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ekubeni nomsindo, kodwa kuphosakele ukuhlasela ngamazwi ahlabayo, ahlazisayo okanye athob’ isidima.”

Ukuba indoda ivakalelwa kukuba ayikwazi ukulawula indlela ethetha ngayo, imele ifunde ukuthula. Mhlawumbi kusenokuba bubulumko ukuba iphume phandle, ibethwe ngumoya, okanye ifune enye indawo ezolileyo ukuze iphozise ingqondo. IMizekeliso 17:14 ithi: “Yiyeke imbambano kungekavunganyelwana.” Ningawuxubusha kwakhona umbandela lowo xa umsindo uhlile.

Kambe ke, akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo. Indoda eyayikhe yanengxaki yokusebenzisa amazwi arhabaxa isenokuphinda ivukwe likakade. Xa oku kusenzeka, ifanele icele uxolo. Ukwambatha “ubuntu obutsha” kuyinkqubo eqhubekayo, kodwa kunemivuzo emikhulu.—Kolose 3:10.

Amazwi Aphilisayo

Ewe, “ukufa nokuphila kusemandleni olwimi.” (IMizekeliso 18:21) Amazwi awenzakalisayo amele athatyathelw’ indawo ngamazwi awakhayo nawomeleza umtshato. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Linqatha lobusi amazwi amnandi, ayincasa emphefumlweni, ayimpiliso emathanjeni.”—IMizekeliso 16:24.

Kwiminyaka ethile eyadlulayo, kwenziwa uhlolisiso ukuze kufunyaniswe izinto ezibangela iintsapho ezomeleleyo ziphumelele. Ingcali ngomtshato uDavid R. Mace inikela le ngxelo: “Kolu hlolisiso kwafunyaniswa ukuba amalungu ezi ntsapho ayethandana, ibe ayesoloko exelelana ukuba ayathandana. Ayeqinisekisana ukuba elinye liyakholiswa lelinye, lilenza elinye lizixabise, yaye ayesebenzisa naliphi ithuba elisengqiqweni lokuthetha nokubonakalisa uthando. Ngokuzenzekelayo, umphumo waba kukuba ayekunandipha ukuba kunye nokomelezana ngeendlela ezenza ulwalamano lwazo lwanelise kakhulu.”

Ayikho indoda eyoyika uThixo enokutsho ngokwenene ukuba iyamthanda umfazi wayo ukuba imenzakalisa ngamazwi ayo ngabom. (Kolose 3:19) Kambe ke, okufanayo kusenokuba yinyaniso ngomfazi ohlasela indoda yakhe ngamazwi. Eneneni, kuyimbopheleleko yawo omabini amaqabane ukulandela isiluleko sikaPawulos esiya kwabase-Efese: “Makungaphumi lizwi libolileyo emlonyeni wenu, kodwa mayibe lilo naliphi na ilizwi elilungele ukwakha njengoko kusenokuba yimfuneko, ukuze libanike oko kukholekileyo abevayo.”—Efese 4:29.

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Umdala ongumKristu unokukwazi ukunceda isibini ukuba sincokolisane

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