Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Umhlobo Wam Osenyongweni Efuduka?

‘UBONAKALA ngathi ulahlekelwe ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni.’ Abantu baya kuthetha oku xa ubani ebonakala edakumbile okanye edandathekile. Kodwa xa ngokwenene ulahlekelwe ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni, le ntetho iba nentsingiselo entsha ngokupheleleyo.

Ngapha koko, ubuhlobo bokwenyaniso buyinto ekhethekileyo nexabisekileyo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Umhlobo uthanda ngamaxesha onke; umzalwana uzalelwe imbandezelo.” (IMizekeliso 17:17) Kubahlobo abalungileyo sifumana ubudlelane nenkxaso. Basinceda sikhule ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya. Ngoxa abahlobo nje okanye abantu esiqhelene nabo besenokuba baninzi, abantu onokubathemba ngokwenene nonokuzityand’ igila kubo banqabile.

Ngoko ukuba umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ufudukile, kuyaqondakala ukuba usenokuziva uphazamisekile. Omnye oselula ogama linguBryan ukhumbula indlela awavakalelwa ngayo xa umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni wafudukayo. Wathi: “Ndandisoyika, ndinesithukuthezi, yaye ndibuhlungu.” Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo.

Ukujamelana Nobunjalo Bemeko

Ukucinga ngezizathu ezabangela umhlobo wakho afuduke kusenokuba luncedo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akazange abangelwe kukungabi naxabiso ngobuhlobo bakho. Ukufuduka kuye kwayinto eqhelekileyo kubomi banamhlanje. Nyaka ngamnye eUnited States kuphela, bangaphezu kwama-36 ezigidi abantu abafudukayo! Ngokutsho kweU.S. Bureau of Census, umMerika oqhelekileyo uya kufuduka izihlandlo ezili-12 ebomini bakhe.

Kutheni le nto efuduka kangaka? Kungenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Iintsapho ezininzi ziyafuduka khon’ ukuze zifumane imisebenzi ebhetele nezindlu. Kumazwe asakhasayo, imfazwe nobuhlwempu ziye zanyanzela izigidi zeentsapho ukuba zifuduke. Yaye njengoko ulutsha lufikelela ekubeni ngabantu abakhulu abasebatsha, oluninzi lukhetha ukufuduka luze luzihlalele. Lumbi luyahamba luye kutshata. (Genesis 2:24) Sekunjalo abaninzi basenokufuduka kuba besukela izilangazelelo zokomoya. (Mateyu 19:29) Phakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova, abaninzi bashiya ubunewunewu ababuqhelileyo obubangqongileyo baye kukhonza kwimimandla—mhlawumbi nakwamanye amazwe—apho kukho imfuneko enkulu yabalungiseleli abangamaKristu. Bambi bafudukela kwakwilizwe labo ukuya kukhonza eBheteli, njengoko ibizwa njalo indawo ovelelwa kuyo umsebenzi wamaNgqina kaYehova. Ewe, nangona sibathanda abahlobo bethu, simele sikugqale oko njengesibakala sobomi ukuba njengoko ixesha lihamba, kusenokwenzeka bafuduke.

Enoba siyintoni na isizathu esibangela umhlobo wakho afuduke, usenokungayazi indlela oya kuze uhlangabezane ngayo nelahleko enjalo. Kodwa ngoxa kungokwemvelo ukuziva unesithukuthezi kancinane yaye udandathekile okomzuzwana, mhlawumbi uyaqonda ukuba ukusoloko uhleli endlwini lonk’ ixesha ungonwabanga akunakuze kuyiphucule nakancinane le meko. (IMizekeliso 18:1) Ngoko masikhe sikhangele ezinye izinto ezinokuba luncedo.

Ukugcina Unxibelelwano

“Qonda ukuba ubuhlobo benu abuphelanga,” ucebisa njalo uBryan. Ewe, esakuba efudukile umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngokuqinisekileyo ulwalamano lwenu luza kutshintsha, kodwa oko akuthethi kuthi ubuhlobo benu bumele buphele. UGqr. Rosemarie White ongumcebisi wabakwishumi elivisayo wathi: “Ukulahlekelwa kunzima kakhulu kulo naliphi inqanaba lobomi, kodwa indlela yokukusingatha ngokuphumelelayo kukucinga ngako njengotshintsho, yaye ungacingi ukuba akukho nto inokuphinda yenziwe.”

Yintoni onokuyenza ukugcina ubuhlobo? Cinga ngengxelo yeBhayibhile engoDavide noYonatan. Phezu kwawo nje umahluko omkhulu weminyaka yobudala, babengabahlobo abasenyongweni. Xa iimeko zanyanzela uDavide ukuba abalekele elubhacweni, abazange bahlukane bengathethanga. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, babuqinisekisa ubuhlobo babo obungapheliyo, bade benza nomnqophiso okanye isivumelwano, sokuhlala bengabahlobo.—1 Samuweli 20:42.

Ngokufanayo, usenokuthetha nomhlobo wakho ngaphambi kokuba ahambe. Menze umhlobo wakho ayazi indlela obuxabisa ngayo ubuhlobo benu nendlela ofuna ukulugcina ngayo unxibelelwano luvulekile. UPatty noMelina, abahlobo abasenyongweni ngoku abaqelelene ngama-8000 eekhilomitha omhlaba nolwandle, benza kanye oko. “Siceba ukuhlala sinxibelelana,” wacacisa njalo uPatty. Noko ke, izicwangciso ezilolo hlobo zisenokungaphumeleli, ngaphandle kokuba kwenziwa amalungiselelo aqinisekileyo.—Thelekisa uAmosi 3:3.

IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba xa umpostile uYohane wayengakwazi ukumbona umhlobo wakhe uGayo, waqhubeka enxibelelana naye ‘embhalela ngeinki nosiba.’ (3 Yohane 13) Nisenokuvumelana kwanangokuthumelelana ileta okanye ikhadi rhoqo, mhlawumbi kanye ngeveki okanye ngenyanga. Yaye ukuba abazali benu bayavuma ukuba nitsalel’ umnxeba kude, mhlawumbi nisenokukwenza oko maxa wambi nibaliselane ngezinto eziqhubekayo kubomi benu. Okanye nisenokwenza isivumelwano sokuthumelelana imiyalezo eshicilelwe ekhasethini okanye kwividiyo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, kusenokude kwenzeke ukuba nenze amalungiselelo okutyelelana ngempelaveki okanye ngexesha lekhefu. Ngaloo ndlela ubuhlobo bunokuqhubeka ngokuphumelelayo.

Ukuvala Indawo Yakhe

Sekunjalo, ukuhamba komhlobo wakho osenyongweni kuya kushiya isikhewu ebomini bakho. Ngenxa yoko, usenokufumanisa ukuba unexesha elininzi ungenzi nto. Musa ukudlala ngelo xesha. (Efese 5:16) Lisebenzisele ukwenza into eluncedo—mhlawumbi unokufunda ukudlala isixhobo somculo, ukufunda ukuthetha ulwimi olutsha, okanye wenze umsetyenzana wokuzonwabisa. Ukwenzela abo basweleyo izinto eziluncedo yenye indlela yokulisebenzisa ngokunemveliso ixesha. Ukuba ungomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova, unokwandisa isabelo sakho kumsebenzi wokushumayela esidlangalaleni. (Mateyu 24:14) Okanye unokuqalisa umsebenzi onik’ umdla wokufundisisa iBhayibhile.

Ngaphezu koko, umpostile uPawulos waluleka amaKristu aseKorinte ukuba ‘aphangalale’—oko kukuthi, baquke nabanye kubahlobo babo. (2 Korinte 6:13) Mhlawumbi uchithe ixesha elingakumbi nomhlobo omnye kuphela kangangokuba akuzange unikele ngqalelo kwabanye abasenokuba ngabahlobo. Ulutsha oluphakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova lufumanisa ukuba amathuba okuqalisa ubuhlobo ngokufuthi abakho kanye kumabandla asekuhlaleni. Ngoko zama ukufika kwangethuba kwiintlanganiso zebandla uze uhlale ixeshana emva kwazo. Oku kuya kukunika ithuba lokwazana nabantu. Iindibano zobuKristu neembutho ezincinane zinikela amathuba okwenza abahlobo abatsha.

Noko ke, ilizwi lesilumkiso lifanelekile: Musa ukungxama ukuzenzela abahlobo kangangokuba uqalise ukunxulumana ngokusondeleyo nolutsha olungenasukelo naluxabiso lufana nolwakho ngezinto zokomoya. Abanjalo banokuba yimpembelelo embi yaye banokukwenzakalisa kunokuba bakuncede. (IMizekeliso 13:20; 1 Korinte 15:33) Namathela kulutsha oluzixabisayo izinto zokomoya nolwaziwa ngehambo elungileyo.

Ukuba ufumana ubani onjalo, yakha ubuhlobo naye ngokuceba ukwenza into ethile kunye. Fumana isidlo kunye naye. Tyelelani imyuziyam. Hambani kunye. Lungiselelani ukuchitha usuku kubulungiseleli bobuKristu kunye, nihambise ebantwini iindaba ezilungileyo zoBukumkani bukaThixo. Ngokuhamba kwexesha nangomgudu, ubuhlobo obutsha bunokukhula. Ngenxa yokuba uthando lobuKristu lubanzi—‘luyaphangalala’ ngokuquka nabanye—xa usiba nabahlobo abatsha, akufanele uvakalelwe kukuba akuthembekanga kumhlobo wakho ofudukileyo.

Unokuxhakamfula kwanethuba lokusondela kwabo bakuthanda ngakumbi—abazali bakho. Banokuba luncedo olukhulu, nangona ekuqaleni usenokuziva umadolw’ anzima ukufuna ukuba kunye nabo. Omnye oselula ogama linguJosh wathi: “Kwaphantse kwafuneka ndizinyanzele ukuba ndichithe ixesha nabo ekubeni ndandingasondelelananga nomama notata ngelo xesha. Kodwa ngoku bangabahlobo bam bokwenene!”

Kwakhona khumbula ukuba, usenaye umhlobo ezulwini. Kunjengokuba uDan oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala ekubeka ngolu hlobo oku, “ngokwenene akuwedwa ngenxa yokuba usekho uYehova.” UBawo wethu osezulwini usoloko efumaneka kuthi ngomthandazo. Uya kukunceda ukuba uhlangabezane nemeko enzima ukuba ukholosa ngaye.—INdumiso 55:22.

Yiba Nembono Efanelekileyo

UKumkani osisilumko uSolomon wanikela eli cebiso: “Musa ukuthi, ibiyini na, le nto imihla yamandulo ibilungile ngaphezu kwale?” (INtshumayeli 7:10) Ngamanye amazwi, musa ukuhlala ucinga ngoko kudlulileyo; xhakamfula okuphambi kwakho ngoku nawo onke amathuba avelayo. UBill, ngoku okwiminyaka yakhe yokuqala yama-20, wenza kanye oko xa walahlekelwa ngumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni. Ukhumbula oku: “Emva kwethuba elithile ndaqalisa ukufuna abahlobo abatsha yaye andizange ndicinge ngokudlulileyo. Ndazama ukulungiselela ikamva yaye ndaphilela ixesha langoku.”

La macebiso asenokuba luncedo, sekunjalo ukufuduka komhlobo osenyongweni kuseyinto ebuhlungu. Kusenokuthabatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba iinkumbulo zamaxesha okuziyolisa enaniba nawo kunye zingasakubangeli ntlungu. Khumbula ukuba, utshintsho luyinxalenye yobomi yaye lulungiselela ithuba lokuba uqole yaye ukhule. Ngoxa kusenokubonakala kungenakwenzeka ukumlibala umhlobo osenyongweni ukuba unomnye, unako ukukhulisa iimpawu eziya kukwenza ‘uthandeke kuYehova nakubantu.’ (1 Samuweli 2:26) Xa usenza oko, uya kusoloko unothile ombiza ngokuba ngumhlobo wakho!

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 13]

Ukuthi ndlelantle kumhlobo wakho osenyongweni ngamava abuhlungu