Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Umama Egula Kangaka?

Utata ka-Al wabulawa ngumhlaza.a Njengoko wayefundiswe ngedinga leBhayibhile lovuko, uAl noko wakwazi ukuyinyamezela le ntlungu. Kodwa xa nomama wakhe wafunyaniswa enomhlaza, yaqala phantsi kwakhona le ntlungu. UAl wayesoyika akucinga ukuba usenokuphulukana nomnye umzali wakhe. Ebindekile wayedla ngokuzibuza ukuba, ‘kutheni imele ibe ndim lo ugulelwa ngumama?’

UGQR. LEONARD FELDER uthi, “abantu baseMerika abangaphezu kwamashumi amathandathu ezigidi . . . bagulelwa ngabantu ababathandayo okanye babe neziphene.” UFelder wongezelela ngelithi: “Suku ngalunye, umsebenzi omnye kwabane eMerika unomnye umthwalo ongaphezulu wokunyamekela iintswelo zomzali ogulayo” okanye omnye umntu amthandayo. Ukuba ukwimeko efanayo yazi ukuba asinguwe wedwa. Noko ke, ukubukela umntu omthandayo egula kuyoyikisa yaye kubuhlungu. Unokuhlangabezana njani nale meko?

Kutheni Umzali Wam Egula?

IMizekeliso 15:13 ithi: “Ekubulalekeni kwentliziyo umoya uthi dakumba.” Ngokuqhelekileyo ingqondo iyabethabethana xa umzali wakho egula. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuzibek’ ityala ngemeko akuyo umzali wakho. Mhlawumbi beningevani nomzali wakho. Mhlawumbi bekubakho amaxesha okuba nixabane kuqhum’ uthuli. Njengoko umzali wakho egula xa kungoku, isenokubakho indawo yokucinga ukuba nguwe unobangela wayo yonke le nto. Kodwa nangona iingxabano zentsapho zisenokubangela iingxaki, akufane kwenzeke ukuba zenze umntu agule abuthwe phantsi. Iimbambano nokungavisisani okungephi kunokubakho nakwiintsapho zamaKristu apho kwesamele uthando. Ngoko akuyomfuneko ukuba uzibeke ityala ngokungathi umzali ubulawa nguwe.

Enyanisweni, umama okanye utata wakho ugula ngenxa yesono sabazali bethu bokuqala, uAdam noEva. (Roma 5:12) Ngenxa yeso sono sokuqala, “yonke indalo ihleli igcuma kunye kwaye isentlungwini kunye de kube ngoku.”—Roma 8:22.

Kuba Buhlungu Ngaphakathi

Sekunjalo, uba buhlungu uxhalabe. Umama kaTerri wayenezilonda, sigulo eso esiyingozi kakhulu. Uthi uTerri: “Nanini na ndingekho ekhaya, ndiba nexhala lokuba, azi uMama uphilile na. Kuba nzima ukunikela ingqalelo. Noko ke, kuba ndingafuni kumkhathaza, nditya tyum ndingamxeleli indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.”

IMizekeliso 12:25 ithi: “Isithukuthezi esisentliziyweni yendoda siyenza igobe.” Ulutsha olukule meko ludla ngokudandatheka. UTerri uthi intliziyo yakhe yayilihlwili ngenxa yokuba unina wayesoyiswa yimisebenzi elula. Into efika ithi chatha kule ngxaki yile yokuba ulutsha—ingakumbi amantombazana—luye lunyanzeleke ukuba lube nomthwalo ongakumbi. UNjingalwazi Bruce Compas uthi, “amantombazana aba nomthwalo wemisebenzi yentsapho, efana nokucoca ikhaya nokunyamekela abantakwabo noodade wabo abancinane kunawo, zinto ezi eziwanika ubunzima neziphazamisana nokukhula kwawo ngendlela eqhelekileyo.” Olunye ulutsha luyazikhetha, luphulaphule umculo olusizi notheza umxhelo.—IMizekeliso 18:1.

Kudla ngokubakho nexhala lokuba lo mzali angafa. UTerri nguye yedwa kowabo, yaye umama wakhe, ungumzali ongatshatanga. UTerri wayehlala esezinyembezini xa umama wakhe esesibhedlele, esoyikela ukuba hleze angabuyi. UTerri uthi: “Sasihlala sobabini kuphela. Ndandingafuni ukuphulukana nomhlobo wam wenene.” Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguMartha nayo yathetha into efanayo: “Ndineminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo ubudala, kodwa ndisayoyika nangoku into yokuphulukana nabazali bam. Kunokuba yintlungu eya kundishiya ndililolo.” Ezinye izinto ezidla ngokwenzeka xa ugulelwa ngumzali kukuphazamiseka xa ulele, ukuphupha kakubi neengxaki zokutya.

Oko Unokukwenza

Nangona xa kungoku imeko isenokubonakala imaxongo, unokuhlangabezana nale meko! Qala ngokuthetha nabazali bakho ngezinto ezikoyikisayo nezikuxhalabisayo. Ugula kangakanani umzali wakho? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba achache? Uya kunyanyekelwa ngubani, njani, ukuba umzali wakho unokungaphili? Ngaba akunakwenzeka ukuba nawe ube kule meko ekuhambeni kwexesha? Nangona kungeyondlwan’ iyanetha kubazali ukuthetha ngezo zinto, ukuba uyazola uze ngembeko ucele uncedo lwabo, baya kwenza unako-nako wokukunceda baze bakuxhase.

Baxelele izinto ezakhayo ozicingayo. UAl ukhumbula ukuba wasilela ukuyenza loo nto xa umama wakhe wayephela ngumhlaza. Uthi: “Andizange ndimxelele ukuba ndimthanda ngokwenene. Ndiyazi ukuba wayefuna ndimxelele loo nto, kodwa kuba ndandikwishumi elivisayo ndaba neentloni ukumxelela loo nto. Akuzange kube kudala emva koko wafa ibe ngoku ndiyazisola kuba andizange ndilisebenzise kakuhle ithuba endandinalo. Iyandibinda loo nto kuba kaloku wayengoyena mntu wayethe ngco entliziyweni yam.” Musa ukoyika ukuxelela abazali bakho indlela obathanda ngayo.

Ukuba kunokwenzeka funda ngesigulo somzali wakho. (IMizekeliso 18:15) Mhlawumbi nogqirha wentsapho yakowenu unokukuncedisa xa usenza loo nto. Ukuba nolwazi kuya kukunceda ube novelwano, umonde uze ube nolwazelelelo. Loo nto inokukunceda ulindele naluphi utshintsho olunokwenzeka kumzali wakho, njengemikrwelo, ukuvuthuluka kweenwele okanye ukuphelelwa ngamandla.

Ngaba umzali wakho usesibhedlele? Xa umtyelele, monwabise uze umkhuthaze. Incoko yenu mayakhe. Mbalisele ngomsebenzi wakho wesikolo nemisebenzi yamaKristu. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 25:25.) Ukuba kwilizwe ohlala kulo kulindeleke ukuba izalamane zimphathele ukutya nezinye izinto umguli, yenza konke onokukwenza ngaphandle kokumbombozela. Ukunxiba impahla ecocekileyo nefanelekileyo akuyi kuphelela nje ekuvuyiseni umzali wakho kodwa kuya kunikela ubungqina obuhle kubasebenzi basesibhedlele noogqirha. Loo nto inokubangela umzali wakho anyanyekelwe ngendlela ethe chatha.b

Ngaba umzali wakho uchacha esekhaya? Ngoko ncedisa kangangoko unako ekumnyamekeleni. Ncedisa ekwenzeni imisetyenzana yekhaya ngokuzithandela. Zama ukuxelisa uYehova ngokuzinikela ‘ngesisa yaye ungangcikivi.’ (Yakobi 1:5) Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ekuboniseni umoya wokungakhalazi, ukuba nethemba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo.

Kambe ke, usenomsebenzi wakho wesikolo. Zama ukubekela ecaleni ixesha lawo, kuba imfundo yakho nayo ibalulekile. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zenzele nexesha lokuphumla nokuzihlaziya. (INtshumayeli 4:6) Loo nto iya kukuhlaziya ize ikuncede ukwazi ukumxhasa kakuhle umzali wakho. Okokugqibela, musa ukuzikhetha. Cela inkxaso yamaKristu okhonza kunye nawo. (Galati 6:2) UTerri uthi: “Ibandla laba ngathi yintsapho yakowethu. Abadala babesoloko bekulungele ukuthetha nam baze bandikhuthaze. Andinakuze ndiyililbale loo nto.”

Hlala Ulungelelene Ngokomoya

Eyona nto ibaluleke ngaphezulu kukuhlala ulungelelene ngokomoya. Zixakekise ngezinto zokomoya, ezinjengokufundisisa iBhayibhile, ukuya ezintlanganisweni nokushumayela kwabanye. (1 Korinte 15:58) Ehlotyeni, uTerri wayesandisa isabelo sakhe kumsebenzi wokuhambisa ivangeli njengovulindlela ongumncedani. Wongezelela ngelithi: “Umama wayedla ngokundikhuthaza ukuba ndilungiselele ndize ndibekho kwiintlanganiso eziqhutyelwa kwiHolo yoBukumkani. Yasinceda sobabini loo nto. Ekubeni wayengakwazi ukuya kuzo zonke iintlanganiso njengoko efuna, ndandidla ngokuphulaphula ngenyameko ukuze ndikwazi ukumbalisela xa ndibuyile. Wayexhomekeke kum ngokutya kokomoya xa engazi kubakho.”

Inqaku leThe New York Times lawushwankathela kakuhle lo mba xa lalithetha ngonontlalontle “owayesoloko ekhwankqiswa yindlela abantwana abakhula baze baphumelele ngayo nangona bekwintlungu yokugulelwa ngumzali.” Uthi: “Babonisa ubuchule abebengabazi ukuba banabo . . . Ukuba banokukwazi ukunyamezela le nto, banokuzinyamezela lula nezinye izinto ezininzi.”

Nawe ungatyhubela eli xesha lentlungu. Ngokomzekelo, umama kaTerri, sele echachile ukuba angakwazi ukuzinyamekela. Mhlawumbi, ekuhambeni kwexesha umzali wakho usenokuchacha. Kodwa okwangoku, ungalibali ukuba uMhlobo wakho wasezulwini uYehova unokukuxhasa. ‘UnguMphulaphuli wemithandazo’ ibe uya kukuphulaphula xa ucela uncedo. (INdumiso 65:2) Uya kunika wena—nomzali wakho owoyika uThixo—“amandla angaphaya koko kuqhelekileyo” ukuze ukwazi ukuhlangabezana nale meko.—2 Korinte 4:7; INdumiso 41:3.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 30]

“Nanini na ndingekho ekhaya, ndiba nexhala lokuba, azi uMama uphilile na”

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 31]

Ukufunda ngesigulo somzali wakho kunokukuxhobisela ukuba ukwazi ukumnceda