Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nokukhathazwa Ngokwesini?

“Amakhwenkwe athanda ukubeth’ imilozi namakhwelo.”—UCarla, eIreland.

“Amantombazana akayeki ukutsala umnxeba. Azama ukwaphula ingqibelelo yakho.”—UJason, eUnited States.

“Wayemana enditsalatsala ngeengalo ebamba isandla sam.”—UYukiko, eJapan.

“Amantombazana athetha izinto ezingcolileyo kum.”—UAlexander, eIreland.

“Enye inkwenkwe yayidla ngokundikhwaza ikuduladula wesikolo. Yayingafuni ukuba senze amadinga. Yayindicaphukisa nje.”—URosilyn, eUnited States.

UKUJONGA ngamehlo anesincwaso, “ukuncoma” ngamazwi anentsingiselo engokwesini, isiqhulo esingcolileyo, ukubamba ngendlela evuselela inkanuko yesini ngokuphandle—impatho enjalo xa ingathandwa yaye iphindaphindwa, isoloko ibizwa ngokuba kukukhathaza ngokwesini. Nangona kunzima ukufumana amanani achanileyo emhlabeni wonke, uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba inkoliso yolutsha olukubudala bokuhamba isikolo eUnited States luye lwanamava ako.

Yintoni kanye ukukhathazwa ngokwesini? Incwadi ethi Coping With Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias ebhalwe nguGqr. Victoria Shaw, ikuchaza “njengokukhathaza umntu ngokwesini . . . Kusenokuba ngokwasemzimbeni (njengokubamba umntu ngendlela evuselela isini), into oyithethayo (njengamagqabaza angathandekiyo ngendlela umntu amile ngayo) okanye ukwenza nje izimbo.” Maxa wambi oku kukhathaza kuquka ukucela uthando ngendlela ekrwada.

Mhlawumbi abona bantu bakukhathaza kakhulu esikolweni ngoontanga bakho. Noko ke, kwezinye iimeko le ndlela iphazamisayo yokwenza izinto ivela kubantu abasele bekhulile, njengabafundisi-ntsapho. Inqaku elikwiphephancwadi iRedbook lithi ngokwentelekiso bambalwa kakhulu abafundisi-ntsapho ababanjwayo ngenxa yezenzo ezibandakanya isini “mhlawumbi baligcuntswana nje.”

Amabhinqa—namadoda maxa wambi—ayengamaxhoba ale mpatho-mbi kwanasemva phayaa kumaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. (Genesis 39:7; Rute 2:8, 9, 15) Yaye iBhayibhile yenza le ngxelo yothusayo: “Kuya kubakho amaxesha anzima ngemihla yokugqibela. Abantu baya kuba ngabazingcayo, ababawayo, abaqhayisayo, nabaziphakamisileyo; baya kuba ngabanyelisayo . . . ; abangenabubele, abangenanceba, abajindi, abanogonyamelo, nabaneengcwangu.” (2 Timoti 3:1-3, Today’s English Version) Ngoko kuyinto esenokwenzeka ukuba nawe ukhathazwe ngokwesini.

Imbono KaThixo

Kuyavunywa ukuba asilulo lonke ulutsha olukhathazwayo yile mpatho ingachubekanga ngokwesini. Olunye lusenokuyifumanisa ihlekisa—okanye iyinto nje emyoli. Olunye uhlolisiso olothusayo olwenziwa eUnited States lwabonisa ukuba phakathi kwamaxhoba okukhathazwa ngokwesini, ama-75 ekhulwini aye avuma ukuba nawo aye akhathaza abanye. Abanye abantu abasele bekhulile baye bayiyayaza le hambo ingachubekanga ngokwesini, beyenza into engenamsebenzi njengokuthand’ ukwazi kobuntwana. Kodwa uThixo uyijonga njani?

ILizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile, lizigweba ngokucacileyo zonke iintlobo zokukhathaza ngokwesini. Kuthiwa ‘masingoni’ abanye ngokutsiba imida engokwesini. (1 Tesalonika 4:3-8) Enyanisweni, abafana bayalelwa ngokukhethekileyo ukuba baphathe ‘amabhinqa amancinane njengoodadewabo benobunyulu bonke.’ (1 Timoti 5:1, 2) Ukongezelela, iBhayibhile iyakugweba ‘ukuqhula okungamanyala.’ (Efese 5:3, 4) Ngoko, unelungelo lokuba nomsindo, udideke okanye uzive uthotyiwe xa ukhathazwe ngokwesini!

Ndimele Ndithini?

Ngoko ke, umele usabele njani xa umntu ekukhathaza ngolu hlobo? Maxa wambi ukusabela nje ngendlela engacacanga kwenza lowo ukukhathazayo azame ngamandla. IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba xa uYosefu wayecelwa uthando ngumfazi womqeshi wakhe, akazange asuke nje angamhoyi. Kunoko, wawakhabela kude amalinge akhe okuziphatha okubi. (Genesis 39:8, 9, 12) Namhlanje, ukuqina nokungqala kuseyeyona ndlela ilunge ngakumbi yokukhabela kude ukukhathazwa.

Liyinyaniso elokuba, lowo ukukhathazayo usenokuba akazimiselanga kukwenza buhlungu. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele ekukhathaza nje, usebenzise indlela engachubekanga yokutsala ingqalelo yakho. Ngoko musa ukuvakalelwa kukuba nawe umele usebenzise indlela engachubekanga ukuze uphelise lo mkhwa ungathandekiyo. Ukuthi nje, ‘Andiyithandi loo ndlela uthetha ngayo’ okanye ‘Nceda ususe izandla zakho kum,’ kunokuyidlulisela ingongoma. Nokuba uzibeke njani izinto, musa ukuzibeka buyekeyeke izinto. Uhayi wakho makabe nguhayi! UAndrea oselula uthi: “Ukuba abakuva xa ubaxelela kakuhle, baxelel’ ezinkonkxeni. Bafuna loo nto kakade.” Ukutsho ngokuqinileyo ukuba ‘Yeka loo nto uyenzayo!’ kunokuba luncedo.

Ukuba izinto zihambela phambili, musa ukuzama ukuzisingatha wedwa. Zama ukuthetha nabazali bakho okanye abantu abaqolileyo banokuba namanye amacebiso asebenzisekayo okujamelana nale meko. Njengento yokugqibela abanokuyenza, basenokukubona kuyimfuneko ukuwudlulisela kumagunya esikolo lo mbandela. Nangona kusenokungakonwabisi ukwenza ngolo hlobo, kodwa kunokukukhusela ekuxhatshazweni ngakumbi.

Ukuzikhusela Ekukhathazweni

Kambe ke, kokona kulungileyo ukuphepha ukuxhatshazwa kusekutsha. Yintoni enokukunceda kule meko? UAndrea ucebisa oku: “Musa ukubonisa ukuba unawo umdla kumntu othile. Abanye baya kuyiva loo nto, yaye ingcinezelo iya kuhambela phambili.” Indlela onxiba ngayo inokuba negalelo kakhulu. UMara oselula uthi: “Andinxibi njengexhegwazana, kodwa ndiyaziphepha iimpahla ezitsalela ingqalelo emzimbeni wam.” Ukuphepha amalinge akhokelela ekuziphatheni okubi uze kwangaxeshanye unxibe iimpahla ezinomtsalane kunokudida. IBhayibhile ikhuthaza ukunxiba “ngokuthozama nangengqondo ephilileyo.”—1 Timoti 2:9.

Abahlobo bakho banento abayenzayo kwindlela ophathwa ngayo. (IMizekeliso 13:20) URosilyn uthi: “Xa amantombazana eqela elithile ethanda ingqalelo yabafana, abafana basenokucinga ukuba onke amantombazana akwelo qela avakalelwa ngendlela efanayo.” UCarla wathetha into efanayo xa wathi: “Ukuba ubutha nomntu owathandayo la magqabaza okanye oyithandayo ingqalelo, nawe ke uya kukhathazwa.”

IBhayibhile ibalisa ngentombazana eselula ekuthiwa nguDina eyayinxulumana namantombazana aseKanan—apho amabhinqa ayesaziwa ngokuba nehambo evakalala. Oku kwakhokelela ekubeni ahlaselwe ngokwesini. (Genesis 34:1, 2) Kungeso sizathu iBhayibhile isithi: “Hlalani nikuphaphele ngokungqongqo ukuba indlela enihamba ngayo ingabi njengeyabantu abangezozilumko kodwa ibe njengeyezilumko.” (Efese 5:15) Ewe, ukuba ‘ngqongqo’ ngendlela onxiba ngayo, othetha ngayo, nangabantu obutha nabo kunokuba negalelo elikhulu ekukukhuseleni ekukhathazweni.

Noko ke, kumaKristu aselula, enye yezona ndlela ziluncedo zokukukhabela kude ukukhathazwa kukuthi ngokulula wenze abanye bazi ngokuma kwakho okungokonqulo. UTimon oselula, ongomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova, ukhumbula oku: “Abanye abantwana babesazi ukuba ndiliNgqina, ngoko loo nto yakuphelisa phantse konke ukukhathazwa.” UAndrea uthi: “Ukubaxelela ukuba uliNgqina kwenza umahluko omkhulu. Baya kuyiqonda into yokuba wahluke kubo ngeendlela ezininzi yaye unemilinganiselo engqongqo yokuziphatha.”—Mateyu 5:15, 16.

Xa Ukhathazwa

Nokuba uzama ngamandla kangakanani na, akunakubaphepha ngokupheleleyo abantu abakrwada nabaxhaphazayo. Kodwa ukuba ulixhoba lomntu okukhathazayo, akukho sizathu sakuziva unetyala—logama nje uye waziphatha njengomKristu. (1 Petros 3:16, 17) Ukuba le meko ikwenza buhlungu, funa inkxaso ngokuthetha nabazali bakho okanye abo baqolileyo kwibandla lamaKristu. URosilyn uyavuma ukuba kunzima ukuzihlonela xa uye wakhathazwa. Uthi: “Ukuba nomhlobo, umntu onokuthetha naye, kuluncedo gqitha.” Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba, “Usondele uYehova kubo bonke abo bambizayo.”—INdumiso 145:18, 19.

Ukuma nxamnye nokuphathwa kakubi akulula, kodwa kufanelekile. Ngokomzekelo, cinga nje ngengxelo yeBhayibhile engebhinqa eliselula laseShunem. Nangona lalingakhathazwanga ngendlela eli binzana eliqondwa ngayo namhlanje, laxelelwa amazwi elalingawathandi nguSolomon, isinhanha nokumkani onamandla wakwaYuda. Kuba lalithandana nenye indoda, lawaxhathisa loo mazwi. Linebhongo lazincoma lathi, “Ndiludonga mna.”—INgoma yazo Iingoma 8:4, 10.

Nawe bonisa amandla afanayo ngokokuziphatha uze ume uqinile. Yiba “ludonga” xa kufikelelwa kumazwi angathandekiyo. Kwenze kucace ukuma kwakho njengomKristu kumntu wonke okungqongileyo. Ngokwenjenjalo, unokuhlala ‘ungenakusoleka yaye umsulwa,’ uqinisekile ukuba uye wakholisa uThixo.—Filipi 2:15.a

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]

Ukwazisa bonke abantu ngeenkolelo zakho zobuKristu kunokukukhusela

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]

Ukunganxulumani neqela elingendawo, kunokukukhusela ekukhathazweni