Abantwana Bafanele Bazive Befunwa Yaye Bethandwa

“NIKA umntwana intwana yothando, yaye uya kukubuyekeza ngendlela engathethekiyo.” Wabhala watsho umbhali nomhlalutyi oliNgesi wenkulungwane ye-19 uJohn Ruskin. Mhlawumbi abazali abaninzi baya kuvumelana nelokuba kuyingenelo ukuthanda abantwana bakho, kungekuphela nje ngenxa yothando abakubuyekeza ngalo, kodwa ngokungakumbi ngenxa yemiphumo emihle olu thando oluba nayo kubo.

Ngokomzekelo, incwadi ethi Love and Its Place in Nature ithi ngaphandle kothando “abantwana badla ngokufa.” Yaye uAshley Montagu, osisazi ngentlalo yabantu esidumileyo nesazalelwa eBritani, wada wathi: “Amachiza, umzimba nengqondo yomntwana ongathandwayo yahluke lee kweyomntwana othandwayo. Umntwana ongathandwayo ukhula ngendlela eyahluke gqitha kweyomntwana othandwayo.”

IToronto Star yenza ingxelo ngohlolisiso ekwafunyaniswa into efanayo kulo. Yathi: “Abantwana abakhule bengawolwa okanye baphululwe . . . ngomlinganiselo ophakamileyo banamadlala abangelwa luxinezeleko.” Enyanisweni, ukungahoywa kwasebusaneni “kunokuba nemiphumo enzulu nehlala ixesha elide kwindlela umntwana afunda ngayo nakwinkumbulo yakhe.”

Ezi zinto ziye zafunyaniswa zibethelela imfuneko yokuba abazali babekho ubuqu. Ngaphandle koko anokuqina njani amaqhina phakathi komzali nomntwana? Kodwa okulusizi kukuba, kwanakumazwe ahambele phambili ehlabathini, utyekelo ngoku kukuzama ukufeza iimfuno zomntwana ngaphandle kwabazali bakhe. Abantwana bathunyelwa esikolweni, bathunyelwa kwisikolo sangeCawa, bathunyelwa emsebenzini, basiwa kwiindawo zokugxumeka iintente ukuze bazihlaziye, yaye banikwa imali baze bathunyelwe kwiindawo zokuzihlaziya. Bekhatyelwe bucala kwisangqa sentsapho, baziphilela kude ngokungathi kunjalo, izigidi zabantwana ziye zivakalelwe kukuba—ukuba oko zikuqonda ngokupheleleyo—zilahlwe kwesinomhlwa, zingafunwa yaye zingathandwa, ziphakathi kwehlabathi elikhohlakeleyo nelifuna abantu abakhulileyo. Le ndlela yesameleyo abavakalelwa ngayo abantwana isenokuba sesinye isizathu sokuba kubekho abantwana abaqikelelwa kuma–3 000 abahlala ezitratweni eBerlin. Kunjalo ke nangoMicha oselula owathi: “Akusekho mntu undifunayo.” Inkwenkwe eneminyaka esithoba ubudala yaseJamani ngokufanayo yakhalaza ngelithi: “Akwaba bendithandwa njengenja yasekhaya.”

Zininzi Iindlela Zokuphathwa Kakubi Kwabantwana

Ukungakhathalelwa kwabantwana kuluhlobo lwempatho-mbi olubonisa ukungabikho koko iBhayibhile ithi ‘ngumsa wemvelo.’ (Roma 1:31; 2 Timoti 3:3) Yaye oku kusenokukhokelela kwezona ndlela zingenalusini zempatho-mbi. Ngokomzekelo, ukususela kuNyaka Womntwana Ehlabathini Lonke ngowe-1979, kuye kwanikelwa ingqalelo engakumbi kwiingxaki zokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni nangokwesini kwabantwana. Kambe ke, kunzima ukufumana amanani achanileyo, yaye ayahluka ngokweendawo ngeendawo. Kodwa ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo amanxeba abakhula nawo abantwana abaye baxhatshazwa ngokwesini kunzima ukuwacima.

Enoba baphathwa kakubi ngaluphi na uhlobo, abantwana banengcamango yokuba abathandwa yaye abafunwa. Yaye le ngxaki ibonakala ngathi iyakhula. Ngokutsho kwephephanda laseJamani iDie Welt, “abantwana abangakumbi bakhula bengeloncedo kwibutho labantu.” Longezelela ngelithi: “Abantwana abafumani bubele kwasekhaya. Ngokutsho [kukaGerd Romeike, umalathisi kwiziko lokufundisa abantwana eHamburg], unxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo phakathi kwabantwana nabazali luya lusiba buthathaka, okanye lungabikho kwasekuqaleni. Abantwana abanjalo baziva belahliwe yaye abalufumani unqabiseko abalufunayo.”

Abantwana abalibandezwayo ilungelo abanalo lokuziva befunwa yaye bethandwa basenokuba nengqumbo baze bakhuphele umsindo wabo kwabo baye ababakhathalela okanye kwibutho labantu ngokubanzi. Malunga neshumi leminyaka eladlulayo, ingxelo yeqela lomkhosi okhethekileyo waseKhanada yabona imfuneko yokuba kukhawulezwe kushukunywe kuba hleze isizukulwana sonke “esicinga ukuba asikhathalelwe luluntu ngokubanzi” siphele tu.

Abantwana abangathandwayo nabangafunwayo basenokufuna ukushiya ikhaya ukuze babaleke iingxaki zabo, bazibone bengena kwezingakumbi iingxaki kwizixeko ezizaliswe lulwaphulo-mthetho, iziyobisi nokuziphatha okubi. Enyanisweni, ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-20 eyadlulayo, amapolisa aqikelela ukuba babengama-20 000 abantwana abashiya ikhaya abangaphantsi kweminyaka eli-16 ubudala nababehlala kwisixeko esinye saseUnited States kuphela. Bachazwa “njengamaxhoba aphuma kumakhaya aqhekekileyo namaxhoba enkohlakalo, nawayesoloko ebethwa ngabazali abangamanxila okanye abakhotyokiswe ziziyobisi. Baba ngoonongogo, bathengise ngemizimba yabo ukuze baphile baze ke babethwe ngabaphathi boonongogo, yaye bengazixabisanga, bahlala besoyikiswa ngezisongelo xa beshiya loo maqela abo.” Okulusizi kukuba, phezu kwayo nje imigudu enyanisekileyo yokutshintsha le meko imaxongo, izinto zihlala ngobunjalo bazo.

Abantwana abakhulele kwezi meko zichazwe ngasentla bakhula bengazinzanga, yaye badla ngokungakwazi ukubakhulisa kakuhle abantwana babo. Njengoko bengafunwa yaye bengathandwa, bavelisa abantwana abafana nabo—abantwana abaziva bengafunwa yaye bengathandwa. Elinye ilungu lezobupolitika laseJamani layishwankathela ngale ndlela imeko: “Abantwana abangathandwayo bakhula bezele intiyo.”

Kambe ke, izigidi zabazali zenza konke okusemandleni azo ukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana bazo bayazi ukuba bayafunwa yaye bayathandwa. Abaneli nje ukubaxelela oko kodwa bayakungqina oko ngokubanika inyameko enothando nengqalelo efunwa ngabo bonke abantwana. Sekunjalo, iingxaki azipheli—iingxaki ngokucacileyo ezingaphaya kwamandla abazali ukuzicombulula. Ngokomzekelo, kwezinye iindawo ehlabathini, iinkqubo ezigwenxa zezoqoqosho nezobupolitika ziyasilela ukunika abantwana unyango olufanelekileyo lwezempilo, imfundo efanelekileyo, nokutya okwaneleyo, kwanokubakhusela kwingxaki yokuqotywa kwabantwana nakwiimeko ezimanyumnyezi abaphila phantsi kwazo. Yaye ngokufuthi ezi meko zibangelwa ngabantu abakhulileyo ababawayo, abanobuqhophololo, abazingcayo nabangenaluvelwano.

UKofi Annan, ongusosiba-jikelele weZizwe Ezimanyeneyo, wachaza ezinye zeengxaki ezinkulu abajamelene nazo abantwana namhlanje xa wabhala wathi: “Izigidi zabantwana zinyamezele intlalo emanyumnyezi ebangelwa bubuhlwempu; amakhulu amawaka abandezelwa yimiphumo yemfazwe nemeko embi yezoqoqosho; amashumi amawaka enzakaliswa ezimfazweni; abangakumbi baziinkedama okanye babulawe yiHIV noGawulayo.”

Kodwa noko akukubi kangako! Imibutho yeZizwe Ezimanyeneyo, njengeUnited Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) neWorld Health Organization, iye yasebenza ngamandla ukuzama ukuphucula ubomi babantwana. Lo ka-Annan wathi: “Abantwana abangakumbi bazalwa besempilweni, abangakumbi bayagonywa; abangakumbi bayakwazi ukufunda nokubhala; abangakumbi bakhululekile ukuba bangafunda, badlale baze baphile njengabantwana kunokuba bekunokwenzeka kwishumi leminyaka elidluleyo.” Sekunjalo, walumkisa ngelithi: “Eli asiloxesha lokuyekelela umxakatho ngenxa yezinto esizenze kwixa elidluleyo.”

Abo Bafanelwe Yingqalelo Ekhethekileyo

Abanye abantwana bafuna ingqalelo ekhethekileyo. Ebutsheni beminyaka yee-1960, ihlabathi lothuswa kukuva iingxelo kumazwe aliqela ngokuzalwa kwamawakawaka abantwana abaneziphene. Xa isetyenziswa ngamabhinqa akhulelweyo, ipilisi yokuthomalalisa neyokulala ekuthiwa yithalidomide iye yaba nemiphumo emibi eyayingacingelwanga neye yabangela ukuba azale abantwana abanamalungu afileyo okanye bazalwe bengenawo. Iingalo nemilenze idla ngokuba zizinquntwana.

Kumashumi amane eminyaka edluleyo, eyona nto idla ngokwenzakalisa abantwana zizigcayiseli.a Abanye baqikelela ukuba izigcayiseli eziyingozi ezimalunga nama-60 ukuya kutsho kwi-110 lezigidi zithe saa ehlabathini lonke. Zibulala okanye zenzakalise abantu abamalunga nama-26 000 nyaka ngamnye—kuquka abantwana abaninzi. Ukususela ngowe-1997, xa uJody Williams wathi waphumelela iBhaso likaNobel ngokwenza iphulo lokuphelisa izigcayiseli, kuye kwanikelwa ingqalelo engakumbi kule ngxaki. Kodwa amasimi ezigcayiseli asekho. Ilungu lezobupolitika laseJamani lathi ngokuphathelele imigudu yokuphelisa izigcayiseli: “Kufana nokuzama ukukhupha amanzi asebhafini ngecephe ngoxa impompo ivuliwe.”

Elinye iqela labantwana abafuna ingqalelo ekhethekileyo ngabo bangenabazali. UYehova uThixo, uMdali womntu, wayenenjongo yokuba abantwana bakhule befumana ingqalelo enothando kamama notata. Umntwana ufanele abe nabazali abalungeleleneyo.

Amaziko eenkedama nafunela abantwana abantu bokubakhulisa azama ukukhathalela iimfuno zabantwana abangenabazali babini. Noko ke, okulusizi kukuba, uninzi lwabantwana abangaphili ubomi obusemgangathweni nabakufuna ngakumbi ukukhuliswa ngabo kanye abangahoywayo—abo bagulayo, abanengxaki yokufunda okanye abaneziphene okanye abanabazali abangabasemzini.

Kuye kwasekwa imibutho ekhuthaza abantu ukuba banikele ngemali ngokuthe rhoqo baze “bakhulise” umntwana ohlala kwilizwe elisakhasayo. Imali enikelwayo isetyenziselwa ukufundisa lo mntwana okanye ukumlungiselela iimfuno ezisisiseko. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, kuthunyelwana iileta nemifanekiso ukuze komelezwe ulwalamano olo. Nangona liluncedo, eli lungiselelo aliyicombululi ngokupheleleyo le ngxaki.

Omnye umzekelo obangel’ umdla woko kuye kwenziwa ukuzama ukunceda abantwana abangenabazali ngumbutho oye ngowe-1999 wabhiyozela isiqingatha senkulungwane usebenza.

Ikhaya Labantwana ISOS

Ngowe-1949, uHermann Gmeiner waseka eImst, eOstriya, waza wayibiza ngokuba Likhaya Labantwana ISOS. Ukusuka kwesi siqalo singephi, umbutho wakhe uye wakhula waya kufikelela kwiidolophana ezimalunga ne-1 500 namanye ke amaziko afanayo akumazwe ali-131 aseAfrika, eMerika, eAsia nawaseYurophu.

Lo kaGmeiner waseka iziko lakhe phantsi kwemigaqo emine ekhokelayo—umama, abantwana bakowabo, ikhaya nedolophana. “Umama” usisiseko “sentsapho” yabantu abahlanu okanye abathandathu—ngokunokwenzeka—abantwana abangakumbi. Uhlala nabo aze enze umgudu wokubathanda aze anikele ingqalelo kubo njengoko kulindelwe kumama wokwenene. Aba bantwana bahlala bonke “kwintsapho” kunye “nomama” omnye de kufike ixesha lokuba bashiye “ikhaya.” Kule “ntsapho” kukho abantwana abakubudala obahlukeneyo. Xa “benoodade wabo” “nabantakwabo” abadala nabancinane kunabo, loo nto ibanceda bayeke ukuzingca. Kwenziwa imigudu yokumanyanisa aba bantwana babe “yintsapho” besebancinane kakhulu. Amakhwenkwe namantombazana azalwa kunye asoloko egcinwa “kwintsapho” enye.

Iidolophana zona zibunjwe “ziintsapho” ezili-15, nganye kuzo ihlala kwindlu yayo. Bonke abantwana baqeqeshelwa ukuncedisa “umama” wabo ekwenzeni imisetyenzana eyimfuneko emakhayeni abo. Nangona kungekho tata, kwenziwa ilungiselelo lokuba ndoda ithile inikele icebiso njengotata nokunikela uqeqesho olufanelekileyo. Abantwana baya kwizikolo zasekuhlaleni. “Ntsapho” nganye ifumana umxhesho oqingqiweyo wenyanga ukuze ihlangabezane neendleko. Ukutya nempahla zithengwa ekuhlaleni. Usukelo kukuba abantwana baphile ubomi obuqhelekileyo bentsapho kunye nazo zonke iingxaki zabo nezinto ezonwabisayo kubo, nto leyo ebenza baphile ubomi obuqhelekileyo. Oku kubenza baseke iintsapho ezizezabo bakuba bekhulile.

Kusafunwa Esona Sicombululo Sifanelekileyo

Amaziko afunela abantwana abantu bokubakhulisa, Iidolophana Zabantwana zeSOS, iUNICEF neminye imibutho efanayo okanye amaqela enza okuhle xa ezama ukuxhasa abantwana abaphila kwiimeko ezimaxongo. Kodwa akukho nalinye kuwo elinokuphelisa isibakala sokuba abanye abantu bephila kwiimeko ezimaxongo. Akanakukwazi ukunika amalungu umntwana ongenakuzenzela nto, akanakuvuselela umntwana onengqondo edodobeleyo, aphinde amanyanise umntwana nabazali bakhe abahlukeneyo nabaqhawule umtshato, okanye abuyisele uthando lomzali ofileyo.

Enoba bangazama kangakanani na, abantu abanakukwazi ukunikela isicombululo esifanelekileyo kwiingxaki zabantwana. Kodwa ziya kuconjululwa! Ewe, yaye mhlawumbi kungekudala kunokuba ulindele. Kodwa kuya kwenzeka njani?

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 8, 9]

Umntwana ufuna uthando lwabazali ababini