Unokuphumelela Nokuba Uyagula—Njani?

QINISEKA ukuba indlela osenokuba uvakalelwa ngayo iyaqondakala. Nangona isigulo okanye isiphene onaso sibonakala, ingqondo yakho isenokuluxhathisa utshintsho oluye lwabangelwa sesi sigulo. Kusenokubonakala ngathi usemfazweni nesi sigulo, umlo ophakathi kwento owakha wayiyo nento oza kuba yiyo. Yaye ngoku isigulo onaso sinokubonakala sikulawula. Kodwa, unokuyitshintsha yonke loo nto. Njani?

UGqr. Kitty Stein uthi: “Xa ulahlekelwa kokuthile ngenxa yokugula, kuba ngathi ufelwe.” Ngenxa yoko, xa uphulukene nento oyithandayo njengempilo yakho, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ube nethuba lokuba buhlungu nokulila, kanye njengoko ubuya kwenza xa ufelwe ngumntu omthandayo. Enyanisweni, ukulahlekelwa kwakho kunokubandakanya okungakumbi kunempilo yakho. Ngokutsho kwelinye ibhinqa, “Kwanyanzeleka ndincame umsebenzi wam. . . . Kwanyanzeleka ndincame inkululeko endandinayo.” Sekunjalo, yiba nembono elungeleleneyo ngezinto ezikulahlekeleyo. UGqr. Stein, onesifo sokuqinelwa yimithambo wongezelela ngelithi: “Umele ube buhlungu yinto ekulahlekeleyo, kodwa kufuneka uqonde nokuba usenokuthile okubalulekileyo.” Eneneni wakuba uyinyamezele intlungu yokuqala, uya kubona ukuba usenokuthile okuxabisekileyo. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, unobuchule bokwenza uhlengahlengiso.

Umatiloshe akanakukwazi ukulawula uqhwithela, kodwa unokumelana nalo ngokwenza uhlengahlengiso kwindlela ezimi ngayo iiseyile zephenyane lakhe. Ngokufanayo, usenokungakwazi ukulawula isigulo esiye sakuhlasela njengoqhwithela, kodwa unokuhlangabezana naso ngokulungelelanisa “iiseyile” zakho, ngamanye amazwi umzimba, ingqondo nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Yintoni eye yanceda abanye abanezigulo ezingapheliyo benza oko?

Funda Ngesigulo Sakho

Emva kokwamkela intlungu yokuqala yesi sigulo, abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba ukwamkela inyaniso ebuhlungu kubhetele kunokoyika into ongayaziyo. Ngoxa uloyiko lunokukothusa, ukwazi into eqhubekayo kuwe kunokukunceda ucinge ngoko unokukwenza—yaye loo nto nje iyodwa iyanceda. UGqr. David Spiegel weStanford University uthi: “Ufanele ujonge indlela ovakalelwa kamnandi ngayo ngento ekukhathazayo xa ufumana indlela yokuhlangabezana nayo. Kude kudala ngaphambi kokwenza okuthile, ususa ukungonwabi ngokuceba into onokuyenza.”

Usenokukubona kuyimfuneko ukufunda okungakumbi ngemeko okuyo. Ngokutsho komzekeliso weBhayibhile, “umntu wokwazi uqinisa amandla.” (IMizekeliso 24:5) Indoda elele ngandletyana nye icebisa ngelithi: “Khangela iincwadi kumzi wogcino-zincwadi. Funda kangangoko ngesigulo sakho.” Njengoko ufunda ngonyango onokulufumana neendlela zokuhlangabezana naso, usenokufumanisa ukuba imeko okuyo mhlawumbi ayikho mbi njengoko ubusoyika. Usenokufumanisa nezizathu zokuba nethemba.

Noko ke, ukuqonda isigulo sakho kakuhle asiyonto yokugqibela. UGqr. Spiegel uthi: “Ukuqokelela le nkcazelo kuyinxalenye yenkqubo ebalulekileyo yokuqhelana nesi sigulo, yokusiqonda nokuba nembono elungeleleneyo ngaso.” Ukwamkela isibakala sokuba ubomi bakho butshintshile kodwa abukapheli kungumbandela ontununtunu yaye akukhawulezi. Kodwa eli nyathelo—ukususela ekusiqondeni kakuhle isigulo sakho ukuya kutsho ekusamkeleni ngokweemvakalelo—lilo onako ukulithabatha. Njani?

Ukuhlakulela Ulungelelwano Nangona Kungelula

Kusenokufuneka ulungelelane kwimbono yakho yoko kuthethwa kukwamkela isigulo sakho. Ngapha koko, ukwamkela isibakala sokuba uyagula asikokusilela, kanye njengokuba ingekokusilela kumatiloshe ukwamkela isibakala sokuba uphakathi koqhwithela. Kunoko, ukuluqonda kwakhe kakuhle uqhwithela kumbangela ukuba athabathe amanyathelo. Ngokufanayo, ukwamkela isigulo sakho asikokusilela, kodwa kuthetha “ukuya kwelinye icala,” ngokutsho kwelinye ibhinqa elinesifo esingapheliyo.

Kwanokuba akusakwazi ukuzenzela nto, usenokukhumbula ukuba ingqondo yakho, iimvakalelo nemeko yakho yokomoya ayinakuchaphazeleka. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba usekrelekrele yaye usakwazi ukulungelelanisa kunye nengqiqo? Mhlawumbi usakwazi ukuncuma, ukunyamekela abanye nokuba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo nomhlobo wokwenene. Yaye okona kubalulekileyo, usenokholo kuThixo.

Ukongezelela, khumbula ukuba nangona ungenakuzitshintsha zonke iimeko zakho, usenokubona ukuba mawusabele njani kuzo. UIrene Pollin weNational Cancer Institute uthi: “Nguwe okwazi ukulawula indlela osabela ngayo kwisigulo onaso. Unawo la mandla enoba isifo onaso sikwenza ntoni na.” UHelen, ibhinqa elinama-70 eminyaka ubudala elinesifo sokuqina kwamathambo, uthi: “Asibobungakanani besigulo sakho obubalayo kodwa yindlela osabela ngayo kwisigulo sakho ekwenza uphinde ube nolungelelwano.” Indoda eye yahlangabezana nokungakwazi ukuzenzela nto kangangeminyaka emininzi ithi: “Isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo sifana nesiseko sephenyane esilincedayo ukuba lingaziki.” Enyanisweni, iMizekeliso 18:14 ithi: “Umoya womntu unokusinyamezela isifo sakhe; kodwa umoya oxhwalekileyo, ngubani na onokuwunyamezela?”

Unokuphinda Uzilawule

Njengoko uphinda ulungelelana ngokweemvakalelo, imibuzo efana nethi ‘Kutheni le nto isehlela mna nje?’ inokuthatyathelwa indawo yethi ‘Ekubeni le nto sele indehlele, ndiza kuthini?’ Xa kulapha ke, usenokukhetha ukuthabatha amanye amanyathelo ukuze wahlukane nale meko ukuyo. Makhe sihlolisise ambalwa kuwo.

Hlolisisa imeko okuyo, cinga ngezinto onokuzitshintsha uze utshintshe ezo unokukwazi ukuzitshintsha. UGqr. Spiegel uthi: “Ukugula kwakho lixesha lokuphinda uhlolisise ubomi bakho—indlela yokukwenza uphaphe, kungekhona ukukwenza uphelelwe lithemba.” Zibuze, ‘Yintoni eyayibalulekile kum ngaphambi kokuba ndigule? Itshintshe kangakanani loo nto?’ Zibuze loo mibuzo, kungekhona ngenjongo yokufumanisa oko ungenakuphinda ukwenze, kodwa ukuze ufumanise ukuba yintoni onokuyenza, mhlawumbi ngokwenza izinto ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ngokomzekelo, cinga nje ngoHelen, okhankanywe ngaphambilana.

Kangangeminyaka engama-25 edluleyo, ukuqinelwa yimithambo kuye kwazenza zabuthathaka izihlunu zakhe. Okokuqala, wayesebenzisa umsimelelo. Emva koko, wayengakwazi ukusebenzisa isandla sakhe sasekunene, wabhenela ekusebenziseni esasekhohlo. Emva koko, nesasekhohlo isandla sanikezela. Emva koko, malunga neminyaka esibhozo edluleyo, ebengasakwazi ukuhamba. Ngoku kufuneka ahlanjwe, atyiswe aze anxityiswe ngabanye abantu. Oku kumenza buhlungu, kodwa sekunjalo uthi: “Elam lithi, ‘Cinga ngento onokuyenza kungekhona ngento obuqhele ukuyenza.’” Yaye encediswa ngumyeni wakhe nabongikazi abadla ngokumtyelela kwakunye nobunye ubuchule bakhe, uyakwazi ukuqhubeka nezinye izinto ebesoloko ezinandipha. Ngokomzekelo, ukwabelana nabanye ngedinga leBhayibhile lehlabathi elitsha elinoxolo elizayo bekuyeyona nxalenye ixabisekileyo yobomi bakhe ukususela ngoxa wayeneminyaka eli-11 ubudala, yaye nanamhlanje usayenza loo nto veki nganye. (Mateyu 28:19, 20) UHelen uyachaza ukuba ukwenza njani oko:

“Ndicela umongikazi ondityelelayo ukuba andibambele iphephandaba. Siye sifunde amagama abantu abafileyo size sikhethe amanye awo. Ndiye ndixelele lo mongikazi oko makakubhalele izalamane zalowo ufileyo, aze umongikazi ayichwetheze le leta. Ndiye ndithumele kunye nale leta, incwadana enemifanekiso ethi Xa Umntu Omthandayo Esifa,a ethetha ngethemba leBhayibhile elithuthuzelayo lovuko. Ndikwenza oku rhoqo ngemva kwemini yangeCawa. Siyandivuyisa isibakala sokuba ndinokwabelana nabanye ngeendaba ezilungileyo zoBukumkani bukaThixo.”

Zibekele usukelo olusengqiqweni nolufikelelekayo. Esinye isizathu esibangela ukuba uHelen azame ukutshintsha izinto ezinokutshintsheka kukuba loo nto imenza akwazi ukuzibekela usukelo aze alufikelele. Nakuwe oko kubalulekile. Ngoba? Kuba ukubeka usukelo kwenza ingqondo yakho icinge ngekamva, yaye ukufikelela usukelo kukwenza uzive uphumeze okuthile. Kwakhona kunokukwenza uphinde uzithembe. Noko ke, qiniseka ukuba usukelo ozibekele lona lungqalile. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuthi: ‘Ndiza kufunda isahluko sibe sinye seBhayibhile namhlanje.’ Kwakhona zibekele usukelo olukulungeleyo. Ekubeni umzimba neemvakalelo zakho zingafani nezabanye abantu abanesigulo esingapheliyo, usenokungakwazi ukufikelela usukelo olufanayo nolwabo.—Galati 6:4.

ULex ohlala eNetherlands uthi: “Enoba usukelo lunokubonakala luluncinane kangakanani, ukulufikelela kukwenza ufune ukwenza okungakumbi.” Ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-20 eyadlulayo wabandakanyeka kwingozi eyamshiya engakwazi kuzenzela nto eneminyaka engama-23 ubudala. Emva kokunyangwa ixesha elide, wacelwa ukuba azibekele usukelo, njengokuhlamba ubuso bakhe ngelaphu. Kwakudina ukwenza loo nto, kodwa waphumelela ukuyenza. Ekubeni efumanisile ukuba uphumelele kolo sukelo, wazibekela olunye—ukuvula nokuvala intlama yokuhlamba amazinyo. Kwakhona waphumelela. ULex uthi: “Nangona kwakungelula, ndafumanisa ukuba ndinokwenza okungakumbi kunoko bendicinga ukuba ndinokukwenza.”

Enyanisweni, ngokuxhaswa ngumfazi wakhe uTineke, uLex wafikelela usukelo olungaphezulu. Ngokomzekelo, ehamba noTineke, ngoku uya kwindlu ngendlu ehamba ngesitulo esinamavili, ukuze abelane nabanye ngolwazi lweBhayibhile. Kwakhona, veki nganye utyelela enye indoda engakwazi kuzenzela nto afundisisa nayo iBhayibhile ngenjongo yokuyikhuthaza. ULex uthi: “Ukunceda abanye kuyandanelisa.” Njengoko iBhayibhile iqinisekisa, “kunoyolo ngakumbi ukupha kunokwamkela.”—IZenzo 20:35.

Ngaba nawe unokwenza usukelo lokunceda abanye abantu? Ukugula nokungakwazi ukuzenzela nto kunokukwenza ube ngumthuthuzeli onobuchule ngokukhethekileyo kuba ingxaki okuyo ikwenza uzikhathalele iintlungu zabanye.

Nxibelelana nabanye. Izifundo zezonyango zibonisa ukuba ukunxulumana nabanye kuyifanele impilo yakho. Kodwa nokungenzi ngolo hlobo kuyingozi. Omnye umphengululi uthi: “Ulwalamano phakathi kokuzikhetha nokufa . . . kunamandla njengolwalamano phakathi kokutshaya . . . nokufa.” Wongezelela ngelithi: “Kubalulekile kwimpilo yakho ukuphucula unxulumano kanye njengokuyeka ukutshaya.” Akumangalisi ukuba aqukumbele ngelithi ubuchule bethu ekulondolozeni unxulumano “buluncedo ukuze siphile”!—IMizekeliso 18:1.

Noko ke, njengoko kubonisiwe kwinqaku elingaphambili, ingxaki isenokuba abahlobo bakho bayekile ukukutyelela. Ukuze uncedakale, kufuneka ulwe nokuzikhetha. Kodwa njani? Usenokuqala ngokumema abahlobo bakho ukuba bakutyelele.

Benze bonwabe xa bekutyelele.b Unokuyenza loo nto ngokungasoloko uthetha ngesi sigulo sakho ukuze abo bakutyeleleyo bangadikwa kukuva ngaso. Elinye ibhinqa elingumlwelwe layicombulula le ngxaki ngokulilinganisela ixesha lokuncokola ngesi sigulo nomyeni walo. Lithi: “Kwafuneka sibe nemida.” Enyanisweni, akuyomfuneko ukuba ukugula kwakho kube yeyona nto iphambili kunazo naziphi na ezinye izinto onokuthetha ngazo. Emva kokuba encokole nomhlobo wakhe olele ngandletyana-nye ngobugcisa, ezembali nezizathu zokuba abe nokholo kuYehova uThixo, omnye owayetyelele wathi: “Uyakwazi ukumelana nesigulo sakhe. Kwakumnandi gqitha ukuthetha naye.”

Ukuhlala unoburharha kunokukwenza kube mnandi ukuba abahlobo bakho bakutyelele. Ngapha koko, ukuhleka kunceda wena. Enye indoda enesifo sikaParkinson ithi: “Amaxesha amaninzi uburharha bukunceda ukuba uhlangabezane neemeko ezininzi.” Enyanisweni, ukuhleka kunokuba lunyango olusebenzayo. IMizekeliso 17:22 ithi: “Intliziyo evuyayo iyaphilisa.” Kwanemizuzu embalwa uhleka inokukunceda. Umbhali uSusan Milstrey Wells, naye ongumlwelwe uthi, ngaphezu kwako konke, “ngokungafaniyo nezinye iindidi zonyango esizama ukuzisebenzisa, ukuhleka kukhuseleke ngokupheleleyo, akunatyhefu yaye kuyanandipheka. Into esingabi nayo kukungatyhileki.”

Fumana iindlela zokuphelisa uxinezeleko. Uhlolisiso luqinisekisa ukuba uxinezeleko lunokuzenza zithi chatha iimpawu zesifo, ngoxa ukuthothisa uxinezeleko kunokuzenza zinyamezeleke. Ngoko, ziphumze maxa wambi. (INtshumayeli 3:1, 4) Musa ukusoloko uthetha ngokugula kwakho ngawo onke amaxesha. Ukuba kunyanzelekile ukuba uhlale ekhaya, usenokuzama ukuthothisa iimvakalelo zakho ngokuphulaphula umculo opholileyo, ufunde incwadi, uhlale ebhafini, ubhale iileta okanye imibongo, uzobe, udlale isixhobo somculo, uthethe nomhlobo omthembayo, okanye wenze izinto ezifana nezo. Ukwenza oko akuyi kuza nesicombululo esihlala sihleli, kodwa kunokuzisa isiqabu sokwexeshana.

Ukuba uyakwazi ukuhamba, khawukhe ubethwe ngumoya, uye kuthenga, usebenze esitiyeni, uhambe ngenqwelo-mafutha okanye, ukuba kunokwenzeka, uye ekhefini. Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukuthabatha uhambo kusenokuba nzima ngakumbi ngenxa yokugula kwakho, kodwa ukulungiselela kusengaphambili nokwenza utshintsho oluthile kusenokoyisa imiqobo. Ngokomzekelo, uLex noTineke, abakhankanywe ngaphambilana, baye bakwazi ukuthabatha uhambo oluya kwamanye amazwe. ULex uthi: “Kwakha kwaqala kwanzinyana, kodwa saba nekhefu elimnandi!” Eneneni, ukugula kwakho kusenokuba yinxalenye yobomi bakho, kodwa akunyanzelekanga ukuba kulawule ubomi bakho.

Zomeleze ngokuba nokholo. AmaKristu okwenyaniso aye ahlangabezana ngokuphumelelayo nezigulo ezinganyangekiyo athi ukholo lwawo kuYehova uThixo kwakunye nokunxulumana kwawo nebandla lamaKristu kungumthombo wentuthuzelo namandla angapheliyo.c Nanga amanye amagqabaza awo ngokuphathelele ukubaluleka kokuthandaza, ukufundisisa iBhayibhile, ukucamngca ngekamva nokuya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu ezikwiHolo yoBukumkani.

● “Maxa wambi, ndisaba noxinezeleko. Xa oko kusenzeka, ndithandaza kuYehova yaye uyaluhlaziya uzimiselo lwam lokwenza oko ndinokukwazi ukukwenza.”—INdumiso 55:22; Luka 11:13.

● “Ukufunda iBhayibhile ndize ndicamngce ngoko ndikufundileyo kundinceda kakhulu ukuze ndigcine uxolo lwam lwengqondo.”—INdumiso 63:6; 77:11, 12.

● “Ukufundisisa iBhayibhile kundikhumbuza ukuba kuseza kubakho ubomi bokwenene nokuba andisayi kuhlala ndingenakuzenzela nto ngonaphakade.”—Isaya 35:5, 6; ISityhilelo 21:3, 4.

● “Ukuba nokholo kwikamva elithenjiswe eBhayibhileni kundinika amandla okujamelana nobomi suku ngalunye.”—Mateyu 6:33, 34; Roma 12:12.

● “Ukubakho kwiintlanganiso ezikwiHolo yoBukumkani kuyenza ingqondo yam isoloko ikhangele kwizinto ezakhayo kungekhona kwisigulo sam.”—INdumiso 26:12; 27:4.

● “Unxulumano olwakhayo namalungu ebandla kuyayonwabisa intliziyo yam.”—IZenzo 28:15.

IBhayibhile isiqinisekisa ngelithi: “UYehova ulungile, uligwiba ngemini yokubandezeleka. Yaye uyabazi abo bafuna kuye indawo yokusabela.” (Nahum 1:7) Ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo noYehova uThixo nokunxulumana nebandla lamaKristu kungumthombo wokhuthazo namandla.—Roma 1:11, 12; 2 Korinte 1:3; 4:7.

Zinike Ithuba

Ukuphila ngokuphumelelayo nesigulo sakho esingapheliyo kuyinkqubo “ethabatha ithuba kungekhona into yethutyana nje,” utsho njalo omnye unontlalo-ntle onceda abantu bajamelane nemiphumo yezigulo ezingapheliyo. Zinike ithuba, icebisa ngolo hlobo enye ingcali, kuba ufunda “ubuchule obutsha ngokupheleleyo: ukuhlangabezana nesigulo esingapheliyo.” Yiqonde nento yokuba enoba unesimo sengqondo esakhayo, usenokuba neentsuku okanye iiveki ezingemyoli xa imiphumo yesigulo sakho ikutheza amandla. Noko ke, ekuhambeni kwexesha usenokubona inkqubela. Kwakunjalo kwelinye ibhinqa elathi: “Ndavuya gqitha xa ndafumanisa ukuba kwadlula usuku ndingacingi nokucinga ngomhlaza. . . . Ngaphambilana ndandingenakuyicinga into enjalo.”

Enyanisweni, ukuba uye wahlangabezana noloyiko olubakho ekuqaleni uze uzibekele usukelo olutsha, ungamangaliswa yindlela onokuhlangabezana kakuhle ngayo nale meko—njengoko inqaku elilandelayo libonisa.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 7]

Ukufunda ngesigulo onaso kunokukunceda usinyamezele

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8]

Ngoncedo lwabanye, uHelen ubhala iileta ezakhayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8]

“Kuyandonwabisa ukuvakalisa iindaba ezilungileyo zoBukumkani bukaThixo.”

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 9]

“Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba nangona ndingenakuzenzela nto, ndinokwenza okungakumbi kunoko bendicinga ukuba ndinokukwenza.” —ULex