Indlela Iintsapho Ezihlangabezana Ngayo Nesifo Esinganyangekiyo

UKUHLANGABEZANA kunokuchazwa “njengamandla okujamelana ngokuphumelelayo nokusingatha uxinezeleko analo umntu.” (ITaber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary) Kuquka ukuhlangabezana neengxaki ezibangelwa sisifo esinganyangekiyo kangangokuba ukwazi ukulawula izinto ngomlinganiselo othile uze ube noxolo lwengqondo. Yaye ekubeni isifo esinganyangekiyo singumbandela wentsapho, inkxaso enothando nenenyameko yelungu ngalinye lentsapho iyafuneka ukuze lungu ngalinye liphumelele. Makhe sihlolisise ezinye iindlela iintsapho ezinokuhlangabezana ngazo nesifo esinganyangekiyo.

Ukubaluleka Kokuba Nolwazi

Isifo esithile sisenokunganyangeki, kodwa ukuyazi indlela yokuhlangabezana naso kunokunciphisa igalelo esiba nalo esi sifo engqondweni nakwiimvakalelo. Oku kuvisisana nomzekeliso wamandulo othi: “Umntu wokwazi uqinisa amandla.” (IMizekeliso 24:5) Intsapho inokulufumana njani ulwazi ngendlela yokuphumelela?

Okokuqala kukufumana ugqirha oza kuyincokola le nto noza kuba luncedo, lowo ukulungeleyo ukuzipha ithuba acacise yonke into kakuhle kumguli nakwintsapho. Incwadi ethi A Special Child in the Family ithi: “Ugqirha ofanelekayo uxhalabela intsapho xa iyonke aze axhalabele ubuchule bezamayeza obufunekayo.”

Inyathelo elilandelayo kukuqhubeka ubuza imibuzo ethile de uyiqonde kakuhle imeko kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Noko ke, khumbula ukuba, xa ukunye nogqirha, kulula ukudideka uze ulibale into obufuna ukuyibuza. Elinye icebiso elisebenzisekayo kukuyibhala phantsi kusengaphambili imibuzo. Ngokukhethekileyo usenokufuna ukuqonda ukuba yintoni onokuyilindela kwesi sigulo nonyango nendlela onokulusebenzisa ngayo.—Bona ibhokisi ethi “Imibuzo Enokubuzwa Yintsapho Kugqirha.”

Kubaluleke gqitha ukubachazela yonke into abantakwabo mntwana onesifo esinganyangekiyo. Omnye umama uncomela oku: “Bachazele undonakele kusekutsha. Kulula nje ukuba bazive bebekelwe bucala entsatsheni ukuba abachazelwa nto.”

Ezinye iintsapho ziye zakwazi ukufumana inkcazelo eluncedo ngokwenza uphando kumzi wogcino-zincwadi wasekuhlaleni, kwivenkile ethengisa iincwadi, okanye kwi-Internet—yaye zisoloko zifumana inkcazelo eneenkcukacha ngezifo ezithile.

Ukuphila Ubomi Obusengqiqweni

Kungokwemvelo ukuba amalungu entsapho afune ukuba umguli aphile ubomi obusengqiqweni. Ngokomzekelo, khawucinge nje ngoNeil du Toit, okhankanywe kwinqaku lokuqala. Usadandathekiswa yimiphumo ebuhlungu yesifo anaso. Noko ke, uchitha malunga neeyure ezingama-70 esenza eyona nto anandipha kakhulu ukuyenza—ukuthetha nabantu bendawo ahlala kuyo ngethemba analo elisekelwe eBhayibhileni. Uthi: “Kuthi ngco ngaphakathi xa ndinikela intetho esekelwe eBhayibhileni ebandleni.”

Indlela yokuphila iquka ukukwazi ukubonisa uthando nokuthandwa, ukunandipha imisebenzi eyolisayo nokuba nethemba. Abaguli baya kuqhubeka bekunandipha ukuphila ngokomkhamo ovunyelwa kukugula nonyango abalufumanayo. Ubawo onentsapho eye yahlangabezana nesifo kangangeminyaka engama-25 uthi: “Siyakuthanda ukubethwa ngumoya, kodwa ngenxa yokungaphili konyana wam, asikwazi kunyuka iintaba. Ngoko senza ngolunye uhlobo. Xa sibethwa ngumoya siya kwiindawo ezingafuni kusetyenziswe amandla.”

Ewe, abaguli banezinto abakwaziyo ukuzenza nezibenza bonwabe ukusa kumkhamo othile. Kuxhomekeka kwindlela esiyiyo isifo eso, abaninzi basenokuxabisa izinto ezithile ezintle abazibonayo nabazivayo. Okukhona beziva bekwazi ukulawula iinkalo ezithile zobomi babo, kokukhona beya kuphila ubomi obusengqiqweni.

Ukuhlangabezana Nengcwangu

Inkalo ebalulekileyo yokuhlangabezana nesifo iquka ukulawula ingcwangu. Iquka ukuba nomsindo. IBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba umntu usenokuba unaso isizathu sokucaphuka. Noko ke, ikwasibongoza ukuba ‘sizeke kade umsindo.’ (IMizekeliso 14:29) Kutheni kububulumko ukwenjenjalo? Ngokutsho kwenye imbekiselo, umsindo “ungakonakalisa uze ukwenze ube nenzondo okanye ukwenze uthethe izinto ezingafanelekanga oya kuzisola ngazo kamva.” Ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo nokuba kukanye kunokubangela umonakalo onokuthabatha ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba ulungiswe.

IBhayibhile incomela oku: “Malingatshoni ilanga nicaphukile.” (Efese 4:26) Licacile elokuba asinakukwazi ukuphazamisa ukutshona kwelanga. Kodwa sinokuthabatha amanyathelo okuzinzisa ‘ukucaphuka’ ngokukhawuleza ukuze singaqhubeki sisenza umonakalo kuthi nakwabanye. Yaye unokukwazi ukuyisingatha kakuhle ngakumbi imeko xa umsindo uhlile.

Kanye njengayo nayiphi na intsapho, akuthandabuzeki ukuba nale yakho iya kuhlangabezana namahla-ndinyuka. Uninzi lwazo lufumanisa ukuba luhlangabezana bhetele nemeko xa luphalazelana imbilini okanye luyiphalaze komnye umntu onomsa novelwano. Oku kwenzeka kuKathleen. Waqala wanyamekela unina owayenomhlaza waza kamva wanyamekela umyeni wakhe, owayenoxinezeleko olungapheliyo waza ekugqibeleni wanesifo sika-Alzheimer. Uvuma athi: “Kwandinika isiqabu nentuthuzelo ukuba ndikwazi ukuyiphalaza imeko kwizihlobo ezinovelwano.” URosemary, owanyamekela unina kangangeminyaka emibini, uyavumelana noko. Uthi: “Ukuthetha nomhlobo onyanisekileyo kwandinceda ndahlala ndilungelelene.”

Noko ke, ungamangaliswa kukungakwazi ukuzibamba ngoxa uthetha. Incwadi ethi A Special Child in the Family ithi: “Ukulila kukhulula ukuxinezeleka nentlungu, yaye kukunceda woyise intlungu okuyo.”a

Ukulondoloza Isimo Sengqondo Esifanelekileyo

UKumkani osisilumko uSolomon wabhala wathi: “Umnqweno wakho wokuphila unokukomeleza xa ugula.” (IMizekeliso 18:14, Today’s English Version) Abaphengululi bakutshanje baye bafumanisa ukuba izinto ezilindelwa ngabaguli—enoba zizinto ezakhayo okanye akunjalo—zidla ngokuba nento eziyenzayo kwimiphumo yonyango lwabo. Noko ke, intsapho inokuqhubeka njani inethemba ngoxa ijamelene nesifo esingapheliyo?

Ngoxa zingasibethi ngoyaba isigulo, iintsapho zihlangabezana naso bhetele xa zinikela ingqalelo kwizinto ezikwaziyo ukuzenza. Omnye ubawo uvuma athi: “Le meko inokukwenza ube neengcinga ezingakhiyo ngokupheleleyo, kodwa umele uqonde ukuba usenezinto ezininzi. Usenobomi, usenobudlelane bomntu ngamnye kwanezihlobo.”

Nangona isifo esinganyangekiyo singenakuthatyathwa lula, ukuba noburharha kunciphisa ukuphelelwa lithemba. Unokuyibona kakuhle le nto xa ujonga intsapho yakwaDu Toit esoloko inoburharha. UCollette, udade boNeil Du Toit, uthi: “Ngenxa yokuba siye safunda ukujamelana neemeko ezithile, siyazihleka izinto ezisehlelayo, nezinokubonakala zicaphukisa kwabanye. Kodwa ukwenza loo nto kunceda ngokwenene ekupheliseni uxinezeleko.” IBhayibhile isiqinisekisa ngelokuba “intliziyo evuyayo iyaphilisa.”—IMizekeliso 17:22.

Eyona Milinganiselo Ibalulekileyo Yokomoya

Inkalo yokomoya ebalulekileyo yamaKristu okwenyaniso iquka ‘ukwazisa izibongozo zawo kuThixo ngomthandazo nesikhungo.’ Imiphumo iya kuba koko kuthenjiswa yiBhayibhile: “Uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda luya kuzilinda iintliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Emva kweminyaka emalunga nama-30 enyamekela abantwana abanezifo ezinganyangekiyo, omnye umama uthi: “Siye safumanisa ukuba uYehova uyakunceda uhlangabezane nako. Ukulondoloza ngokwenene.”

Ukongezelela, abaninzi bomelezwa ngamadinga eBhayibhile omhlaba oyiparadesi ongenazintlungu nakubandezeleka. (ISityhilelo 21:3, 4) UBraam uthi: “Ngenxa yezifo ezinganyangekiyo eye yajamelana nazo intsapho yethu, sifumana intsingiselo engakumbi kwidinga likaThixo lokuba ‘isiqhwala siya kutsiba njengexhama, nolwimi lwesimumu luya kumemelela ngochulumanco.’” Njengabanye abantu, abakwaDu Toit balilangazelela ngamandla ixesha leParadesi xa ‘kungayi kubakho mmi wakhona othi: “Ndiyagula.”’—Isaya 33:24; 35:6.

Yomelela. Intlungu nokubandezeleka okuthe zinzi phezu koluntu ziyinxalenye yobungqina bokuba akusentsuku zatywala kubekho iimeko ezibhetele. (Luka 21:7, 10, 11) Noko ke, okwangoku abaninzi kwabo banyamekela abaguli nabaguli abaninzi baya kungqina ukuba ngokwenene uYehova ‘nguYise onenceba noThixo wentuthuzelo yonke, osithuthuzelayo kuyo yonke imbandezelo yethu.’—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Imibuzo Enokubuzwa Yintsapho Kugqirha

• Sibakho njani esi sifo, yaye siphumela entwenini?

• Sinaziphi iimpawu, yaye zinokulawulwa njani?

• Ziziphi ezinye iindlela zonyango ezinokusetyenziswa?

• Ziziphi ezinye iingxaki, iingozi neengenelo zonyango olwahlukahlukeneyo?

• Yintoni enokwenziwa ukuze kuphuculwe le meko yaye yintoni enokuphetshwa?

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 19]

Indlela Onokuxhasa Ngayo

Abanye basenokuziva bemadolw’ anzima ukutyelela okanye ukunikela uncedo ngenxa yokuba bengazi ukuba baza kuthini okanye bayisingathe njani imeko. Abanye basenokutyekela ekuziphakamiseni ngokunikela oko bacinga ukuba kuluncedo, nto leyo enokongezelela phezu kobunzima obuviwa yintsapho. Noko ke, umntu unokuyinikela njani inkxaso kwintsapho enelungu elinesifo esinganyangekiyo ngaphandle kokuphazamisana nayo?

Phulaphula ngenyameko. UYakobi 1:19 uthi: ‘Khawuleza ukuva.’ Bonisa inkxalabo ngokuba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo nokuvumela amalungu entsapho ukuba athi xibilili imbilini yawo ukuba ayafuna ukuthetha. Asenokuthanda ukwenjenjalo ukuba anemvo yokuba ‘unovelwano.’ (1 Petros 3:8) Noko ke, khumbula ukuba, akukho bantu okanye iintsapho ezimbini ezinokusabela ngendlela efanayo xa kukho ilungu lentsapho elinesifo esinganyangekiyo. Ngenxa yoko uKathleen, owanyamekela unina waza kamva wanyamekela indoda yakhe enesifo esinganyangekiyo, uthi, “musa ukucebisa ngaphandle kokuba unolwazi ngesifo eso okanye imeko.” (IMizekeliso 10:19) Yaye khumbula, kwanokuba uyazi ngalo mbandela, umguli nentsapho yakhe basenokukhetha ukungaluceli okanye bangalamkeli icebiso lakho.

Nikela uncedo olusebenzisekayo. Ngoxa uxhalabele isibakala sokuba intsapho ifuna ithuba lokuba yodwa, yibakho xa bekufuna ngokwenene. (1 Korinte 10:24) UBraam, obesoloko ecatshulwa kolu ngcelele, uthi: “Abahlobo bethu abangamaKristu basinceda ngendlela emangalisayo. Ngokomzekelo, xa salala esibhedlele ngenxa yokuba imeko kaMichelle imandundu, sasidla ngokuba kunye nabahlobo bethu abane nabathandathu ababesihlalisa ubusuku bonke. Uncedo sasilufumana ngalo lonke ixesha silufuna.” Umfazi kaBraam, uAnn wongezelela ngelithi: “Babuqhaqhazelisa amazinyo ngokwenene obo busika, yaye kangangeeveki ezimbini babesiphekela iindidi ngeendidi zesophu imihla ngemihla. Sasisondliwa ngesophu eshushu nentabalala yothando olufudumeleyo.”

Thandaza kunye nabo. Maxa wambi, isenokuba ncinane okanye ingabikho into onokuyenza. Noko ke, enye yezona zinto zikhuthazayo kukwabelana ngeengcamango ezakhayo zeZibhalo okanye umthandazo osuka entliziyweni nabaguli neentsapho zabo. (Yakobi 5:16) UNicolas oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, ononina onoxinezeleko olungapheliyo uthi: “Ungaze uwadele amandla okubathandazela—nawokuthandaza kunye nabo—abo banezifo ezinganyangekiyo neentsapho zabo.”

Ewe, uhlobo olufanelekileyo lwenkxaso lunokwenza lukhulu ekuncedeni iintsapho zijamelane noxinezeleko lwesifo esinganyangekiyo. Ithi iBhayibhile: “Umhlobo liqabane elibonisa uthando ngamaxesha onke, yaye umzalwana uzalelwe ukwabelana ngeenkathazo.”—IMizekeliso 17:17, The New English Bible.

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Xa Isifo Sibulala

Ezinye iintsapho zisenokuba mathidala ukuxubusha ngokufa okujamelene nothandekayo onesifo esibulalayo. Noko ke, incwadi ethi Caring—How to Cope ithi “ukuba unengcamango ethile ngoko umele ukulindele noko ufanele ukwenze, kusenokunceda ekuthomalaliseni inkxalabo.” Nangona amanyathelo eya kwahluka kuxhomekeka kwimithetho nezithethe zasekuhlaleni, nanga amanye amacebiso asenokuhlolisiswa yintsapho xa inyamekela othandekayo onesifo esibulalayo ekhayeni.

Kusengaphambili

1. Buza ugqirha ngoko kunokulindelwa kwiintsuku neeyure zokugqibela nento enokwenziwa ukuba ufa ebusuku.

2. Yenza uludwe lwabo kuya kufuneka bazisiwe ngokufa.

3. Hlolisisa iindlela zomngcwabo onokuzisebenzisa:

• Umguli angathanda ukuba zenzeke njani izinto?

• Ngaba ufanele angcwatywe okanye atshiswe? Thelekisa iindleko neenkonzo zabangcwabi abahlukahlukeneyo.

• Uya kubakho nini umngcwabo? Vula ithuba lokuba kwenziwe amalungiselelo ohambo.

• Ngubani oya kunikela intetho yomngcwabo okanye inkonzo yesikhumbuzo?

• Uya kuqhutyelwa phi?

4. Kwanokuba uthonyalalisiwe, umguli usenokuba uyayiva into ethethwayo okanye eyenziwa kufutshane naye. Lumka ungathethi phambi kwakhe nantoni na ongafuni ayive. Usenokufuna ukumqinisekisa ngokuthetha naye ngokuzolileyo nangokumbamba ngesandla.

Xa Othandekayo Esifa

Nazi izinto ezinokwenziwa ngabanye ukuncedisana nentsapho:

1. Yiphe ithuba le ntsapho ifelweyo ukuba ibe yodwa ukuze ihlangabezane nokufelwa.

2. Thandaza kunye nale ntsapho.

3. Xa le ntsapho sele ilungile, isenokuluxabisa uncedo lwakho ekwaziseni aba bantu balandelayo:

• Ugqirha ukuze aqinisekise ukuba lo mntu ufile aze akhuphe isiqinisekiso sokufa.

• Umngcwabi, indawo yokugcina izidumbu, okanye indawo yokutshiswa kwezidumbu, ukuba ize kuthabatha umzimba.

• Izihlobo nezalamane. (Ngobuchule usenokuthi: “Ndinitsalela umnxeba ngokuphathelele [igama lomguli]. Ndilusizi kuba ndiniphathele iindaba ezibuhlungu. Njengoko nisazi, ubejijisana [chaza isigulo] kangangethuba elide, yaye uye wafa [chaza ixesha nendawo afele kuyo].)

• Iofisi yephephandaba ukuze benze isaziso xa kuyimfuneko.

4. Intsapho isenokufuna ukuhamba nomntu oza kuyincedisa ekuqosheliseni amalungiselelo omngcwabo.

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Amalungu entsapho afanele enze konke okusemandleni awo ukuze alondoloze ubomi obusengqiqweni

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]

Ukuthandaza nentsapho kunokuyinceda ihlangabezane nemeko