Kutheni Umele Ubafundele Ngokuvakalayo Abantwana Bakho?

“Waza kum ekhasa, wasingatha ethangeni ephethe incwadi yakhe enamaphepha agobileyo erhithilili . . . yibhotolo yamandongomane (peanut butter), waza wathi . . . , ‘Ndincede Tata undincedise sifunde le ncwadi; ndiyakucela torho.’”—UGqr. Clifford Schimmels, unjingalwazi wezemfundo.

ABANTWANA—bafunda ngokukhawuleza. Uphando lubonisa ukuba iingqondo zabantwana zikhula ngokukhawuleza xa bengaphantsi kweminyaka emithathu ubudala. Izinto ezenziwa ngabazali mihla le ezinjengokufunda, ukucula nokubonisa uthando zinokuba nendima ebalulekileyo ekukhuleni komntwana ngendlela efanelekileyo. Noko ke, ngokutsho kolunye uhlolisiso, bamalunga nesiqingatha kuphela abazali ababafundela yonke imihla abantwana babo abaphakathi kweminyaka emibini ukusa kwesibhozo ubudala. Usenokuzibuza, ‘Ngaba ukubafundela abantwana bam kwenza umahluko?’

Ukumenza Akuthande Ukufunda

Iingcali zibonisa ukuba impendulo nguewe. Ingxelo yencwadi ethi Becoming a Nation of Readers ithi: “Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekwenzeni abantwana bakwazi ukufunda ngokuphumelelayo kukubafundela ngokuvakalayo. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi kwiminyaka yabo yokuqala isikolo.”

Ngoxa bephulaphule amabali afundwa encwadini, abantwana bafunda besebancinane ukuba oonobumba abasencwadini bayahambelana namazwi esiwathethayo. Kwakhona bayaqhelana nolwimi olusetyenziswa ezincwadini. Enye incwadi ethetha ngokufunda ngokuvakalayo ithi: “Ngalo lonke ixesha sifundela umntwana, sithumela umyalezo ‘omyoli’ engqondweni yakhe. Unokude ukugqale oku njengentengiso, ekhuthaza umntwana ukuba anxulumanise iincwadi nento ebhalwe phantsi nobumnandi.” Abazali abahlakulela olo thando ngeencwadi kubantwana babo baya kubenza bakuthande ukufunda ubomi babo bonke.

Ukubanceda Baqonde Ihlabathi Elibangqongileyo

Abazali ababafundela ngokuvakalayo abantwana babo banokubapha isipho esixabisekileyo—ulwazi ngabantu, ngeendawo kunye nezinto ngokubanzi. Ngexabiso nje eliphantsi, “banokuhamba” umhlaba wonke ngokufunda ezincwadini. Cinga ngomzekelo ka-Anthony oneminyaka emibini ubudala, unina wayemfundela eseyimveku. Unina uthi: “Xa wayetyelele kumzi wogcino-zilwanyana isihlandlo sokuqala wabona izinto aziqhelileyo.” Uthetha ukuthini xa esithi izinto aziqhelileyo? Ewe, nangona uAnthony wayeqala ukubona amaqwarhashe, iingonyama, iindlulamthi nezinye izilwanyana, wayesele enolwazi ngezi zilwanyana.

Ngokubhekele phaya unina uthi: “Kwiminyaka emibini yokuqala yobomi bakhe, ngovuyo uAnthony uye waqhelana nabantu abaninzi kakhulu, izilwanyana, izinto kunye neengcamango, zonke uziqhele ngokuzibona ezincwadini.” Ewe, ukubafundela ngokuvakalayo abantwana xa besebancinane kunokufak’ isandla kakhulu ekubancedeni baqonde ihlabathi elibangqongileyo abahlala kulo.

Ukwakha Ubuhlobo Obusenyongweni

Xa bekhula, abantwana baba nesimo sengqondo esiza kuphembelela izenzo zabo kwiminyaka ezayo. Ngoko abazali kufuneka bakhe isiseko sobuhlobo obusenyongweni obuboniswa kukuthembana, intlonelo enzulu nolwazi. Ukufunda kunokuba nendima ebalulekileyo kule nkalo.

Xa abazali bebafunqula abantwana babo baze babafundele, badlulisela umyalezo ocacileyo othi: “Ndiyakuthanda.” UPhoebe, umama waseKhanada, wathetha oku malunga nokufundela unyana wakhe oneminyaka esibhozo ubudala: “Mna nomyeni wam sivakalelwa kukuba oku kuye kwafak’ isandla ekwenzeni uNathan azive esondele kuthi. Ngoku uncokola ngokukhululekileyo nathi yaye usoloko esixelela indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Kuye kwasenza sanolwalamano olusenyongweni.”

UCindy uye wakwenza umkhwa wakhe ukufundela intombi yakhe ngokuvakalayo ukususela xa yayinonyaka ubudala yaye ikwazi ukuhlala ngokuzolileyo iphulaphule kangangomzuzu okanye emibini. Ngaba loo mgudu uye wayingenelo? UCindy uthi: “Ubuhlobo nokuziva ekhululekile ngethuba lokufunda idla ngokuba kuphela kwezinto ezifunekayo ukuze uAbigail asixelele okwenzekileyo esikolweni okanye ingxaki anayo nomhlobo wakhe. Nguwuphi umzali ongakunqweneliyo ukukubona oko kusenzeka?” Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukufunda ngokuvakalayo kunokufak’ isandla kubuhlobo obusenyongweni phakathi komzali nomntwana.

Ukuhlakulela Ubugcisa Obubalulekileyo Ebomini

Incwadi ethi 3 Steps to a Strong Family ithi: “Namhlanje abantwana bethu bondla iingqondo zabo ngenkunkuma eninzi, abayifumana koomabonwakude nakwamanye amajelo, kangangokuba ngaphezu kwento yonke, iingqondo zabo zifuna ukondliwa, kufuneka bacinge ngezinto eziluncedo, ubulumko, nokuqeqeshwa kwengqondo okuza kubanceda baphile ngemilinganiselo efanelekileyo baze babujonge ngendlela efanelekileyo ubomi babo.” Abazali ngabona banethuba elihle lokuba nempembelelo entle neyingenelo.

Ukwenza umntwana aqhele izivakalisi ezintsonkothileyo nezakhiwe ngendlela efanelekileyo ezifumaneka ezincwadini kunokuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokufundisa umntwana ukuba avakalise iimvakalelo zakhe ngokuthetha nangokubhala. UDorothy Butler, umbhali wencwadi ethi Babies Need Books, uthi: “Indlela umntu acinga ngayo ixhomekeke kumgangatho wolwimi lwakhe. Ngokwenene, ulwimi lolona luphambili ekufundeni nasekuzuzeni ubulumko.” Ukukwazi ukunxibelelana nabanye kakuhle ngundoqo wolwalamano oluhle.

Kwakhona ukufunda iincwadi ezifanelekileyo kunokubethelela ihambo nokuziphatha okuhle. Abazali abafunda baze baqiqe nabantwana babo banokubanceda bafunde ukucombulula iingxaki. Njengoko uCindy wayefunda nentombi yakhe uAbigail, ngenyameko waphawula indlela uAbigail asabela ngayo kwizinto ekuthethwa ngazo kumabali. Uthi: “Njengabazali, sinokuzibona lula iimpawu zobuntu bakhe ekunzima ukuziqonda size simncede aguqule iingcinga ezimbi kusekutsha ebomini.” Ngokwenene, ukubafundela ngokuvakalayo abantwana kunokufundisa ingqondo nentliziyo.

Yenza Ukufunda Kube Luyolo

Funda “ngokukhululekileyo,” wenze eso sihlandlo ibe sisihlandlo sokuphumla nokuzihlaziya yaye sinandipheke. Abazali abaneliso elibukhali bayalazi ixesha lokuyeka ukufunda. ULena uthi: “Maxa wambi uAndrew, oneminyaka emibini ubudala, udinwa kakhulu kangangokuba uye angakwazi ukuhlala ezolile ithuba elide. Siye silenze libe lifutshane ixesha lokufunda ngokuvumelana nendlela avakalelwa ngayo. Asifuni ukuba uAndrew angakunandiphi ukufunda, ngoko asimnyanzeli ngokufunda ixesha elide ngaphezu kokuba ekwazi ukuphulaphula.”

Ukufunda ngokuvakalayo kubandakanya okungakumbi kunokubiza nje amagama abhalwe phantsi. Lazi ixesha lokutyhila iphepha lencwadi enemifanekiso ukuze umgcine enomdla. Lungelelanisa isantya sokufunda noko ukufundayo. Inguqulelo yelizwi nogxininiso nazo zinokufak’ isandla ekwenzeni ibali libangele umdla. Ukufudumala kwelizwi lakho kunokubangela umntwana wakho azive enqabisekile.

Ziba ninzi iingenelo xa nomntwana wakho esiba nenxaxheba ngokuzeleyo. Nqumama ngamathub’ athile, uze ubuze imibuzo efuna impendulo engqalileyo. Yandisa iimpendulo zomntwana wakho ngokongezelela koko akuthethileyo.

Zikhethe Ngenyameko Iincwadi Enizifundayo

Mhlawumbi eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukukhetha iincwadi ezifanelekileyo. Ukwenza oku kufuna ucwangcise kusengaphambili. Zihlolisise ngenyameko iincwadi, uze ukhethe ezo zinempembelelo okanye imfundiso entle. Luhlolisise uqweqwe lwencwadi, imifanekiso nendlela ezibhalwe ngayo. Khetha iincwadi ezibangel’ umdla kumzali nakumntwana. Ngokufuthi abantwana baya kucela ukuba kufundwe ibali elinye ngokuphindaphindiweyo.

Ehlabathini lonke abazali baye bayinandipha incwadi ethi Incwadi Yam Yamabali EBhayibhile.a Yenzelwe ukuba abazali bafundele abantwana babo abancinane, yaye ayiyi kuphelela nje ekuncedeni abantwana bafunde ngokutyibilikayo kodwa iya kubanceda babe nomdla eBhayibhileni.

Abazali ababafundela ngokuvakalayo abantwana babo banokubanceda babe nemikhwa yokufunda emihle, enokuba nemiphumo eyingenelo kubomi babo. Ngokuphathelele ukufundela intombi yakhe, uJoAnne wahlomla wenjenje: “UJennifer akazange aphelele nje ekufundeni ukufunda nokubhala nokuthanda ukufunda ngaphambi kokuba aye esikolweni, okona kubalulekileyo kukuba, uye wamthanda uMdali Ozukileyo, uYehova. UJennifer uye wafunda ukuthembela kwiLizwi lakhe elibhaliweyo, iBhayibhile, ukuze limkhokele xa esenza izigqibo.” Enyanisweni, oko unceda umntwana ukuba akuthande kunokuba kokona kubalulekileyo kunoko umnceda ukuba akufunde.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 30]

Xa Ufundela Umntwana Wakho

• Qala eseyimveku.

• Mphe ithuba lokuba azinze ngaphambi kokuqalisa ukufunda.

• Funda amabali eniwathandayo nobabini.

• Fundani rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka yaye ngomdla.

• Mbandakanye umntwana wakho ngokubuza imibuzo.

[Inkcazelo Ngomfanekiso okwiphepha 29]

Photograph taken at the Wildlife Conservation Society’s Bronx Zoo