Kutheni Sifanele Sibe Nethemba?
UKUBA uDaniel, ixhoba lomhlaza elikhankanywe kwinqaku lokuqala wayengazange aphelelwe lithemba, kwakuza kwenzeka ntoni kuye? Ngaba wayeza kuphumelela ekulweni nomhlaza? Ngaba ubeya kube esaphila namhlanje? Nabona bantu bayimeleyo ingcamango yokuba ithemba linamandla bebengayi kukwazi ukuyiphendula le mibuzo. Nantso ke eyona ngongoma ibalulekileyo ngalo mbandela. Akafanelanga abaxwe amandla ethemba. Alingozifo-zonke.
Kudliwano-ndlebe neCBS News, uGqr. Nathan Cherney walumkisa ngengozi yokubaxa amandla ethemba kubantu abagulel’ ukufa, wathi: “Kuye kwakho iimeko apho abayeni baye bagxeka kabukhali abafazi babo besithi abanathemba ngokwaneleyo yaye abanasimo sengqondo sifanelekileyo.” UGqr. Cherney wongeza ngelithi: “Oku kuye kwabangela abantu banengcamango ephosakeleyo yokuba xa umntu enesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo unako ukulwa nomhlaza, yaye xa esoyisakala, abantu bacinga ukuba akakhange azame ngokwaneleyo, kodwa le ngcamango ayikho ngqiqweni.”
Enyanisweni, abantu abanezifo ezinganyangekiyo bakumlo onzima. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abantu ababathandayo abafuni kongeza umthwalo wabo ngokubenza bazive benetyala. Ngoko, ngaba sifanele sigqibe kwelokuba alibalulekanga ithemba?
Akunjalo. Ngokomzekelo, lo gqirha unceda abantu abagulayo bakwazi ukujamelana nentlungu abakuyo—oko kukuthi akanyangi izifo abanazo okanye azame ukusindisa ubomi babo, kodwa uzama ukuba bonwabe ngoxa besaphila. Oogqirha abanjengaye bakholelwa ukuba kungakhathaliseki enoba umntu ugulel’ ukufa, ufanele onwabe. Kukho ubungqina obuninzi bokuba ithemba linokumenza onwabe umntu—kanti linokwenza nokungakumbi kunoko.
Ukubaluleka Kwethemba
“Ithemba lunyango olunamandla,” utsho njalo umcholacholi weendaba zonyango uGqr. W. Gifford-Jones. Wahlolisisa iingxelo ezininzi zophando ngokubaluleka kwenkxaso kubantu abanezifo ezinganyangekiyo. Kuqikelelwa ukuba inkxaso inceda abantu bahlale benethemba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo. Olunye uhlolisiso olwenziwa ngowe-1989 lwadiza ukuba abantu abagulayo abafumana inkxaso baphila ubomi obude, ukanti uhlolisiso olwenziwe kutshanje alukhange lube nabungqina bungako buxhasa eli bango. Noko ke, uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba abantu abagulayo abafumana inkxaso abaxinezelekanga kangako yaye bayakwazi ukumelana neentlungu kunabantu abangafumani nkxaso.
Khawucingisise ngolunye uhlolisiso oluye lwenziwa ngenjongo yokubona indlela ithemba nokuphelelwa lithemba okubachaphazela ngayo abantu abanesifo sentliziyo. Kwenziwa uhlolisiso kumadoda angaphezu kwe-1 300 ukuze kubonwe enoba anethemba okanye akanalo kusini na. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa kwiminyaka elishumi kamva, lwadiza ukuba kuloo madoda, angaphezu kwe-12 ekhulwini anesifo sentliziyo. Kwelo nani, indoda e-1 kwama-2 yayinethemba. ULaura Kubzansky, usekela-njingalwazi wezempilo nezentlalo kwiHarvard School of Public Health uthi: “Ubungqina obuninzi bokuba ‘isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo’ siluncedo kwimpilo kabani bebusoloko busekelwe kuphando olungenakuthanani nenzululwazi—kodwa olu hlolisiso luze nobungqina obunokuthenjwa kwezempilo bokuba ithemba liyabanceda abantu abanesifo sentliziyo.”
Kolunye uhlolisiso kwafunyaniswa ukuba abantu abazibona benempilo enkenenkene bathabath’ ixesha ukuchacha emva kotyando kunabantu abazigqala besempilweni. Kukwathiwa ukuphila ubomi ubude kunento yokwenza nethemba. Kolunye uhlolisiso kwenziwa uphando ngendlela ukuba nesimo sengqondo esihle okanye esibi ngokwaluphala ekubachaphazela ngayo abantu abakhulileyo. Kwafunyaniswa ukuba emva kokudlala imidlalo ebonisa ukuba ukukhula kwenza ubani abe nobulumko namava, baba nodlamko. Enyanisweni, babedlamke okomntu obelolonga umzimba kangangeeveki ezili-12!
Yintoni ebangela ukuba ithemba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo zibe luncedo empilweni? Mhlawumbi izazinzulu noogqirha azikabi nalwazi lwaneleyo ngendlela ingqondo nomzimba womntu osebenza ngayo yaye azinako ukuwuphendula ngokuchanileyo lo mbuzo. Sekunjalo, iingcali ezenza uphando ngalo mbandela zinokuyithelekelela bhetele impendulo. Ngokomzekelo, enye ingcali ngokusebenza kwemithambo-luvo yathi: “Yintw’ entle ukuvuya nokuba nethemba. Ezi zinto zehlisa uxinezeleko yaye zenza umzimba ukhululeke. Zezinye zezinto abantu abanokuzihlakulela ukuze bahlale besempilweni.”
Le ngcamango isenokubonakala intsha kwabanye oogqirha, iingcali ngokusebenza kwengqondo nezazinzulu, kodwa iqhelekile kubafundi beBhayibhile. Malunga neminyaka engama-3 000 eyadlulayo, uKumkani uSolomon owayesisilumko waphefumlelwa ukuba abhale le ngcamango: “Intliziyo evuyayo iyaphilisa, kodwa umoya oxhwalekileyo womisa amathambo.” (IMizekeliso 17:22) Phawula ulungelelwano olu kule ndinyana. Ayithi intliziyo evuyayo iphilisa zonke izifo, kodwa ithi “iyaphilisa.”
Eneneni, bekuya kuba kuhle ukubuza, Ukuba ithemba ibiliyeza, nguwuphi ugqirha obengayi kulincomela? Ngapha koko, ithemba liyanceda nakwezinye izinto ngaphandle kwempilo.
Indlela Ithemba Nokuphelelwa Lithemba Ekubuchaphazela Ngayo Ubomi Bakho
Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba abantu abanesimo sengqondo esihle bayangenelwa ngeendlela ezininzi. Badla ngokuqhuba kakuhle esikolweni, emsebenzini nakwezemidlalo. Ngokomzekelo, kwenziwa uphando kwiqela lamabhinqa abandakanyeke kwezemidlalo. Abaqeqeshi bachaza ubuchule bokudlala bala mabhinqa. Kwangaxeshanye, la mabhinqa ahlolwa, kukhangelwa ukuba anaso kusini na isimo sengqondo esihle. Iziphumo zabonisa ukuba eyona nto igqiba ngendlela abaza kudlala ngayo aba badlali, lithemba abanalo kungekhona ingxelo yabaqeqeshi. Yintoni ebangela ithemba libe nempembelelo enamandla ngolu hlobo?
Kuye kwafundwa okuninzi ngokuphelelwa lithemba. Kwiminyaka yee-1960, kwenziwa uhlolisiso kwizilwanyana yaye abaphandi bamangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba “ukuphelelwa lithemba” kubangelwa ziimeko. Bafumanisa ukuba oku kuyenzeka nasebantwini. Ngokomzekelo, abantu ekwakusenziwa kubo uhlolisiso bafakwa kwindawo enengxolo enganyamezelekiyo baza baxelelwa ukuba banokuyiphelisa loo ngxolo ngokucofa amaqhosha athile ngokulandelelana kwawo. Bakwazi ukuyiphelisa loo ngxolo.
Iqela lesibini laxelelwa into efanayo—kodwa ukucofa amaqhosha akuzange kuncede nganto. Kanye njengokuba unokuthelekelela, abanye kwelo qela baphelelwa lithemba. Kuhlolisiso olwenziwa kamva, babengafuni kwaukuzama. Babeqinisekile ukuba imizamo yabo ayinakwenza mahluko. Kodwa nakwelo qela lesibini, babekho ababengafuni kunikezela.
UGqr. Martin Seligman, owaba ngomnye wabantu bokuqala ukuvelisa ezi ndlela zophando, wakwenza umsebenzi wakhe ukuphanda ngamandla ethemba nokungabi nathemba. Wagxininisa kwindlela abacinga ngayo abantu abangenathemba. Wagqiba ngelithi, ukungabi nathemba kubangela ukuba abantu baphelelwe ngamandla okwenza izinto okanye bangafuni kwaukuzama. Ethetha ngokungabi nathemba nendlela oku okumchaphazela ngayo umntu, lo kaSeligman uthi: “Uhlolisiso endiye ndalwenza kangangeminyaka engama-25 lundenze ndaqonda ukuba ukusoloko sikholelwa ukuba sambethwe ngamashwa kuyenza ibetheleleke ezingqondweni zethu loo nto kuze kusenze singabi namandla okwenza nantoni na yaye kubangela ukuba sihlelwe zizinto ezibuhlungu kunabantu abanethemba ebomini.”
Kwakhona, loo ngcamango inokuvakala intsha kwabanye abantu namhlanje kodwa iqhelekile kubafundi beBhayibhile. Yiva lo mzekeliso: “Ngaba uzibonakalise udimazekile ngomhla wokubandezeleka? Uya kuphelelwa ngamandla.” (IMizekeliso 24:10) Ewe, iBhayibhile itsho ngokucacileyo ukuba ukuphoxeka nokuba nesimo sengqondo esitenxileyo, kumenza aphelelwe ngamandla umntu. Yintoni ke onokuyenza ukuze ulwe nokuphelelwa lithemba uze ube nesimo sengqondo esihle?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12, 13]
Ithemba linokuba luncedo kakhulu