Kubaluleke Kangakanani Ukubaqeqesha Beselula Abantwana?
UFLORENCE wayeneminyaka engama-40 ubudala ekulangazelela gqitha ukuba nomntwana. Ngoxa wayekhulelwe ugqirha wamxelela ukuba uza kuzala usana olungakwazi kufunda. Wala ukuqhomfa, ibe wazala usana oluphile qete.
Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuzala unyana wakhe, uStephen, uFlorence waqalisa ukumfundela yaye wayethetha naye lonk’ ixesha efumana ithuba. Njengoko ekhula, babedlala kunye, bezikhupha baye kubethwa ngumoya, benze izibalo baze bacule iingoma ezithile. Uthi: “Ndandidlala naye naxa ndimhlamba.” Kwaba nemiphumo emihle oko.
Esekwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo, uStephen waphumelela isidanga sakhe kwiYunivesithi yaseMiami. Kwiminyaka emibini emva koko, eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala waphumelela kwisikolo somthetho yaye emva koko waba lelona gqwetha liselula kunawo onke amagqwetha aseUnited States. Unina, uGqr. Florence Baccus—owayengumfundisi-ntsapho negqwetha elidla umhlala-phantsi—wachitha ixesha elininzi emfundisa eselula. Akathandabuzi ukuba ukunikela ingqalelo nokhuthazo kunyana wakhe eselusana kwaba negalelo kwikamva lakhe.
Imvelo Okanye Impembelelo
Owona mbandela utshisa ibunzi kwiingcali zengqondo yabantwana kutshanje kukufuna ukwazi enoba into enegalelo eliphambili ekukhuleni komntwana “yimvelo” kusini na, ngamanye amazwi, izinto azalwa enazo umntwana, okanye “yimpembelelo,” indlela akhuliswe ngayo noqeqesho alufumeneyo. Inkoliso yabaphandi iqinisekile ukuba zinegalelo zombini ezi zinto.
Ingcali ngokukhula kwabantwana uGqr. J. Fraser Mustard uthi: “Into esiyaziyo kukuba izinto ahlangabezane nazo ebutsheni umntwana ziba nempembelelo kwindlela esebenza ngayo ingqondo yakhe.” Engqina oku uNjingalwazi Susan Greenfield uthi: “Ngokomzekelo, siyazi ukuba inxalenye yengqondo elawula ukusebenza kweminwe yesandla sasekhohlo kubadlali bevayolin isebenza ngaphezu kweyabo bonke abanye abantu.”
Uqeqesho Abalufunayo
Ngenxa yolu phando, abazali abaninzi abaneli nje ukusa abantwana babo kumaziko aphambili okunyamekela abantwana kodwa bachitha imali eninzi ukuze bafundiswe umculo nobugcisa. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba xa umntwana efunda ukwenza yonk’ into, akuba mdala uya kukwazi ukwenza nantoni na. Ziyanda iinkqubo zokufundisa ezikhethekileyo kunye nezikolo zabantwana abancinane. Abanye abazali balungele ukwenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana babo bankqenkqeza phambili kunabanye.
Ngaba le migudu iba yingenelo ngokwenene? Ngoxa inokubonakala inceda umntwana akhule enamathuba amaninzi, izihlandlo ezininzi aba bantwana baphulukana nento ebalulekileyo ekufundeni, into abayifumana xa bezicingela ngokwabo imidlalo. Abaqeqeshi bathi imidlalo abazicingela ngokwabo ibenza babe nobuchule bokwenza izinto ezininzi, bokwakha ubuhlobo, babe nengqondo baze bakwazi nokulawula iimvakalelo.
Ezinye iingcali zikholelwa ukuba imidlalo ecetywe ngabazali ibangela iingxaki ezithile ebantwaneni—abantwana abasoloko becingelwa ngabazali oko bamele bakwenze bayaxinezeleka bangakwazi ukuzinza, ukulala, yaye basoloko bekhala ngeentlungu. Enye ingcali ngokusebenza kwengqondo ithi aba bantwana bathi befika kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo, abaninzi kubo babe bengekabi nako ukujamelana neengxaki yaye “bayadimazeka, bangafuni bantu yaye babe nemvukelo.”
Ngenxa yoku, abazali abaninzi abazi ukuba bathini. Bafuna ukunceda abantwana babo baphumelele. Ukanti, bayayibona ingozi yokufunza abantwana ngezinto ezininzi ngexesha elinye. Ngaba ikho indlela elungeleleneyo abanokukwenza ngayo oku? Abantwana abancinane banokukhula ukusa kuwuphi umkhamo, yaye abazali banokubaphembelela njani? Yintoni enokwenziwa ngabazali ukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana babo bayaphumelela? Amanqaku alandelayo aza kuxubusha le mibuzo.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 3]
Izinto ahlangabezane nazo ebutsheni umntwana ziba nempembelelo kwindlela esebenza ngayo ingqondo yakhe
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 4]
Ukudlala kwenza umntwana akwazi ukucinga nokwenza izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo