Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula . . .

“Ngaba Ndifanele Ndenze Amadinga Okuthandana NgeInternet?”

“Sasithumelelana iiE-mail mihla le. Sasidla ngokuncokola ngendawo esiza kuhlala kuyo nalapho siza kusebenza khona. Imisesane yengeji yayiza kuthengwa ndim. Kwakungekapheli nenyanga sisazana yaye singekadibani ubuso ngobuso.”—UMonika, waseOstriya.a

ENENENI usenokuba ubungathanda ukudibana nothile—uqhelane naye, nize nitshate. Kodwa, ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, imigudu oyenzileyo yokufumana umntu onjalo iye yaba lilize. Abahlobo nentsapho beneenjongo ezintle baye bazama ukukwazisa kothile kodwa oko kukubangele iintloni kwaze kwakushiya udakumbile. Ngoko ke, uyacinga enoba ufanele ubhenele kubugcisa bezi mini kusini na ukuze ufumane uncedo.

Kweli xesha siphila kulo linabantu abaninzi abasebenzisa ikhompyutha, ukukhangela iqabane kubonakala kuyinto nje elula. Abanye bathi, into ofanele uyenze kukuya kwijelo ekuthunyelelwana kulo imiyalezo (chat room), ngokukhethekileyo elilungiselelwe abantu abangatshatanga. IThe New York Times ithi ngenyanga nje enye eUnited States kuphela, abantu abazizigidi ezingama-45 benza amadinga ngeli jelo. Elinye iziko elidibanisa amaqabane ngeInternet lithi ngabantu abangaphezu kwezigidi ezisithoba abakumazwe angama-240 abalisebenzisayo.

Kutheni Ukwenza Amadinga NgeInternet Kuthandwa?

Ngaba uneentloni, yaye ukufumanisa kunzima ukuqhelana nabantu xa uqala ukubabona? Ngaba uyakoyika ukwaliwa? Okanye ngaba uvakalelwa kukuba bambalwa abantu kwindawo ohlala kuyo abakulungeleyo ukutshata? Ngoko ukwenza amadinga ngekhompyutha kusenokubangel’ umdla. Inye into ebangela ukuba abantu batsaleleke kweli jelo kukuba, likuthembisa ukuba uya kukwazi ukuzikhethela umntu oza kwenza “amadinga naye.” Kwibhokisi apho ukhangela khona lowo ufuna abe liqabane lakho kuboniswe abantu abakubudala obahlukahlukeneyo, amazwe abahlala kuwo, inkcazelo ngobuntu babo, iifoto zabo, namagama asetyenziswa kweli jelo kuphela. Ngenxa yokuba lowo usebenzisa i-Internet ekwazi ukuzikhethela lowo afuna ukuba abe liqabane lakhe, kubonakala ngathi ukwenza amadinga ngayo yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yaye iyalunciphisa uxinezeleko onokuba nalo kunokuba udibane nomntu ubuso ngobuso.

Ngaba ukwenza amadinga ngeInternet kufanelekile? Ngaba ngokwenene kukhokelela kulonwabo oluhlala luhleli? Phawula oku: Ebudeni beminyaka emithandathu, elinye lamajelo adibanisa amaqabane ngeInternet lalinamalungu azizigidi ezili-11. Kodwa, yimitshato eli-1 475 kuphela eye yavela kuloo nto. Elinye ijelo ekwenziwa amadinga kulo elinamalungu angaphezu kwesigidi, kuye kwavela imitshato engama-75 kuphela! Yintoni ephosakeleyo ngokwenza amadinga ngeInternet?

Ngaba Le Yeyona Ndlela Ifanelekileyo Eninokwazana Ngayo?

Elinye iphepha-ndaba lathi: “Kwi-Internet, abantu badla ngokuzichaza njengabahle, abanyanisekileyo, okanye abaphumelelayo.” Kodwa inyaniseke kangakanani inkcazelo abantu abayidluliselayo ngeziqu zabo? Elinye inqaku leendaba likubeka ngale ndlela oku: “Kuyinto elindelekileyo ukuba ubani axoke.” Umhleli kalindixesha owaziwayo olungiselelwe abakwishumi elivisayo uye wazenzela uphando ngako oku. Waba lilungu lawona majelo mathathu aziwayo yaye ngemini elandelayo wabhalelwa ngabantu abahlanu. Oku kwakhokelela ekubeni enze amadinga namadoda aliqela. Waba yintoni umphumo? Enyanisweni akazange aphumelele! La madoda adlulisela inkcazelo ebubuxoki ngeziqu zawo. Ulumkisa esithi: “Ngokusuka kumava obuqu, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba abantu abasebenzisa la majelo bayaxoka.”

Ukungathethi nyaniso ngobude okanye ubunzima bukabani kusenokubonakala kuyinto engenamsebenzi. ‘Imbonakalo yangaphandle ayibalulekanga kangako,’ abanye basenokutsho. Banyanisile, kuba neBhayibhile ngokwayo ithi “umtsalane usenokuba yinkohliso, nobuhle busenokuba lilize.” (IMizekeliso 31:30) Kodwa ngaba ukuxoka ngezinto ezisenokubonakala zincinane yindlela efanelekileyo yokuqalisa ubuhlobo? (Luka 16:10) Unokuqiniseka njani ukuba unyanisile xa ethetha ngezinto ezibalulekileyo ezinjengosukelo lwakhe? IBhayibhile ithi: “Thethani inyaniso omnye nomnye.” (Zekariya 8:16) Ewe, ukunyaniseka sisiseko solwalamano oluhle.

Xa usenza amadinga okuthandana ngeInternet, usoloko unqwenela izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni. INewsweek inikele ingxelo ethi: “Abo benza amadinga okuthandana ngekhompyutha bathetha kakuhle gqitha ngabo. . . . Babonakala benobubele yaye benomdla kuwe, ngoko ngokufanayo nawe uyatsaleleka kubo.” Unjingalwazi weNew York’s Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute oye wahlolisisa ukwenziwa kwamadinga ngekhompyutha ufumanise ukuba, ubuhlobo obuluqilima busenokwakheka ngokukhawuleza kwiimeko ezinjalo. Okwangoku, njengokuba bekusele kukhankanyiwe, akunakuthenjelwa kwikhompyutha ukuba ikhokelele kumtshato owonwabisayo. Enye indoda yabhala amava ayo obuqu ngokwenza amadinga ngekhompyutha isithi: “Uyakhohliseka. Ucinga izinto ezingekhoyo yaye uye ufune loo nto kanye.”

Ukudibana Ubuso Ngobuso

Noko ke, abanye bavakalelwa kukuba, ukungadibani ubuso ngobuso kuyanceda. Basenokuvakalelwa kukuba xa usenza amadinga okuthandana ngekhompyutha ngokuzenzekelayo unikel’ ingqalelo kakhulu kuhlobo lomntu alulo ngaphakathi ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa yimbonakalo yangaphandle. Eneneni, iBhayibhile isikhuthaza ukuba sinikel’ ingqalelo kwiimpawu loo mntu anazo. (1 Petros 3:4) Kodwa, ingxaki kukuba xa usenza amadinga ngekhompyutha, awuziboni izimbo zomzimba, awuluboni uncumo lwakhe, okanye uhlobo lomntu alulo. Akuyiboni indlela abaphatha ngayo abanye abantu okanye indlela asabela ngayo xa ecinezelekile. Yaye izinto ezinjalo zibalulekile ekuboneni enoba luhlobo lomntu onokuluthemba nonokuluthanda kusini na. Funda eBhayibhileni kweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 13:4, 5 uze ubone indlela uthando oluchazwa ngayo. Phawula ukuba uthando luchazwa njengophawu esilubona ngezenzo, kungekhona ngamazwi nje kuphela. Ngenxa yoko, ziphe ithuba lokuhlola enoba izenzo zaloo mntu ziyahambelana kusini na noko akuthethayo.

Ngenxa yokungabi nayo inkcazelo ebaluleke ngolo hlobo, amaxesha amaninzi ezinye izibini zithi ziqala ukwazana zibe sezithandana ngokunzulu. Zingakhange zicingisise nzulu, ngokungxama izibini zithembisana izinto ezinkulu, nangona zingazani kangako. Inqaku elinomxholo othi “On the Internet, Love Really Is Blind” lisixelela ngabantu ababini abadibana ngekhompyutha, ngokokuhlala beqelelelene ngeekhilomitha ezili-13 000. Kwiiveki ezintathu kamva badibana ubuso ngobuso. Indoda yathi: “Inenekazi lalizinyhibhele ngemascara. Andithandani namabhinqa asebenzisa imascara.” Ngoko nangoko yaphel’ into ababedibene ngayo. Enye indoda, eyayihlawulele ibhinqa eyayithandana nalo itikiti lokuza kuyityelela, yadana gqitha emva kokuba bebonene kangangokuba ayizange ivume ukumhlawulela imali yokugoduka!

Ibhinqa eliselula elinguEdda likhumbula awalo amava ngokwenza amadinga okuthandana ngekhompyutha. Lithi: “Izinto zazihamba kakuhle gqitha. Sasizimisele ukutshata.” Kodwa xa babonana ubuso ngobuso, izinto zaguquka. “Wayengeyiyo le nto ndandiyilindele kunoko wayethanda ukugxeka yaye wayesoloko ekhalaza. Izinto zazingayi kulunga.” Emva kweveki bahlukana, yaye oko kwamshiya uEdda enxunguphele.

Xa usenza amadinga ngekhompyutha, iimvakalelo zakheka okomlilo wephepha. Ukuba izinto azihambi kakuhle, oko kusenokukushiya wenzakele ngokweemvakalelo—njengokuba kusenokuba njalo. IMizekeliso 28:26 ilumkisa isithi: “Okholosa ngentliziyo yakhe usisiyatha”. Ewe, bubudenge ukusekela izigqibo ezinzulu kumaphupha nakwiimvakalelo. Ngenxa yoko, lo mzekeliso uhlabela mgama usithi: “Kodwa ohamba ngobulumko uya kusinda.”

Iingozi Zokungxama

Ngokuqinisekileyo asibobulumko ukungxamela ukuthandana nothile ongamazi kakuhle. Umbhali oliNgesi uShakespeare ucatshulwa esithi: “Izibini ezikhawuleza zitshate kunqabile ukuba imitshato yazo iphumelele.” IBhayibhile inesiluleko esingqalileyo esithi: “Wonk’ ubani ongxamayo ngokuqinisekileyo usingisa ekusweleni.”—IMizekeliso 21:5.

Okulusizi kukuba, uninzi lwabo bebesenza amadinga ngeInternet bakufumanise oko kuyinyaniso. Emva kokuba ebhalelene nomntu othile kangangenyanga, uMonika, okhankanywe ekuqaleni, wayesesithi ulifumene iqabane aza kutshata nalo. Nangona wayesele ewenzile amalungiselelo omtshato—elungiselela ukuthenga imisesane yengeji—ulwalamano lwabo lwaphela “kalusizi.”

Unokukuphepha ukuba nentliziyo ebuhlungu ngokuthobela isiluleko seBhayibhile esithi: “Onobuqili ubona intlekele azifihle, kodwa abangenamava bayadlula baze bafumane isohlwayo.” (IMizekeliso 22:3) Phofu ke, ukuphoxeka nokwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo asikuphela kweengozi osenokujamelana nazo ngokwenza amadinga okuthandana ngekhompyutha. Inqaku elilandelayo liza kuthetha ngezinye iingxaki.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Xa besenza amadinga ngekhompyutha, amaxesha amaninzi abantu baye badlulisele inkcazelo engeyiyo okanye baxoke ngeziqu zabo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Emva kokuthumelelana amazwi othando, abantu badla ngokuphoxeka xa bedibana ubuso ngobuso