Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndingakuphepha Njani Ukunxulumana Nabantu Abanempembelelo Embi?

“Ndaqalisa ukunxulumana nentombazana ethile esikolweni. . . . Yayingasebenzisi ziyobisi, ingayi nakumatheko angalawulekiyo, yaye yayingaziphathanga kakubi. Yayingathuki nokuthuka, yaye yayiphuma phambili eklasini. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ndandingafanele ndinxulumane nayo.”—Beverly.a

YINTONI eyabangela uBeverly afikelele kwesi sigqibo singasentla? Ngoku uyabona ukuba le ntombazana yamphembelela ukuba enze izinto ezimbi. UBeverly uyachaza: “Njengokuba ndandiqhubeka ndinxulumana nayo, ndaqalisa ukufunda iincwadi ezinento yokwenza nokusebenzelana nemimoya, yaye ndada ndabhala ibali elithetha ngokusebenzelana nemimoya.”

UMelanie oselula naye waphenjelelwa ukuba aziphathe kakubi—ngumntu owayesithi ungumKristu njengaye! Unokumazi njani umntu onokuba ngumhlobo ofanelekileyo? Ngaba kusoloko kuyingozi ukunxulumana ngokusondeleyo nabantu abangakholwayo? Ngaba kusoloko kukhuselekile ukwakha ubuhlobo namanye amaKristu okhonza nawo?

Ngokukhethekileyo, kuthekani ngobuhlobo phakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo? Ukuba ubona umntu othile njengosenokuba liqabane lomtshato, unokwazi njani ukuba ubuhlobo naloo mntu bunokuba bobufanelekileyo? Makhe sibone indlela imigaqo yeBhayibhile enokusinceda ngayo ukuphendula loo mibuzo.

Banjani Abahlobo Abalungileyo?

Ngaba isibakala sokuba lowo afunda naye esikolweni engengomnquli woThixo oyinyaniso senza uBeverly athandabuze ukwakha ubuhlobo kunye naye? Ewe kona, amaKristu okwenyaniso akacingeli ukuba umntu akafanelekanga okanye uziphethe kakubi kuba nje engengomKristu. Kodwa xa kufuneka kwakhiwe ubuhlobo obusenyongweni, sikho isizathu sokulumka. Umpostile uPawulos walumkisa ibandla laseKorinte lenkulungwane yokuqala esithi: “Unxulumano olubi lonakalisa imikhwa elungileyo.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Wayethetha ukuthini?

Inokwenzeka into yokuba amanye amaKristu aseKorinte ayenxulumana namaEpikure, abalandeli besithandi sobulumko samaGrike uEpicurus. UEpicurus wayefundisa abalandeli bakhe ukuba basebenzise ingqiqo kwindlela abaphila ngayo, bakhaliphe, bazeyise baze babe nokusesikweni. Wayebakhuthaza ukuba bakuphephe kwanokwenza ububi ngasese. Ngoko ke, kwakutheni ukuze uPawulos aphawule ukuba amaEpikure, kwanabo basebandleni nababonakala beneembono ezifanayo, “lunxulumano olubi”?

AmaEpikure ayengengabo abanquli boThixo oyinyaniso. Ekubeni ayengakholelwa kuvuko lwabafileyo, wona ayephilela unamhlanje. (IZenzo 17:18, 19, 32) Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba ngenxa yokuba benxulumana nabantu abanjalo, abanye kwibandla laseKorinte baqalisa ukungakholelwa kwithemba lovuko. Kungenxa yoko eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte isahluko 15—apho sifumana uPawulos elumkisa ngonxulumano olubi—kukwakho nenkcazelo eninzi elungiselelwe ukweyisela loo maKristu okuqala ukuba uvuko lithemba lokwenene.

Yintoni esiyifundayo koku? Kwanabantu abangahloneli Thixo banokuba neempawu ezintle. Kodwa ukuba baba ngabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni, oku kusenokuyichaphazela indlela ocinga ngayo, ukholo lwakho nendlela oziphatha ngayo. Ngaloo ndlela, kwileta yakhe yesibini eya kwabaseKorinte, uPawulos wathi: “Musani ukubotshwa edyokhweni kunye nabangakholwayo.”—2 Korinte 6:14-18.

UFred, oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala, wabubona ubulumko bamazwi kaPawulos. Ekuqaleni wavuma ukuya kwilizwe elisakhasayo eye kufundisa abantwana balapho nto leyo ababeyenza nabanye afunda nabo emva kokuba bephumile esikolweni. Noko ke, njengokuba yena nabo afunda nabo babelungiselela ukuya apho, uFred wayitshintsha indlela awayecinga ngayo. Wathi: “Ndacinga ngexesha elininzi endandiza kulichitha nabo yaye oko kwakunokundenzakalisa ngokomoya.” Ngenxa yeso sizathu uFred wakhetha ukurhoxa kwelo phulo yaye wanceda abantu abafuna uncedo ngezinye iindlela.

Ukuzenzela Abahlobo Namanye AmaKristu

Noko ke, kuthekani ngobuhlobo ngaphakathi kwibandla lamaKristu? Xa wayebhalela umfana ogama linguTimoti, uPawulos walumkisa esithi: “Endlwini enkulu akubikho zitya zagolide nezesilivere kuphela, kodwa kubakho nezomthi nezodongwe, yaye ezinye zazo zezenjongo ebekekileyo, kanti ezinye zezenjongo engabekekanga. Ukuba, ke ngoko, ubani uzigcina ekude nezi zamva, uya kuba sisitya senjongo ebekekileyo, esingcwalisiweyo, nesilungele ukusetyenziselwa wonke umsebenzi olungileyo ngumnini waso.” (2 Timoti 2:20, 21) Ngoko ke, uPawulos akazange ayibethe ngoyaba into yokuba kwanaphakathi kwamaKristu, kusenokubakho abanye abangaziphathi kakuhle. Yaye wayebongoza uTimoti ukuba azikhwebule kubantu abanjalo.

Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba ufanele uwakrokrele amanye amaKristu? Akunjalo. Phofu akuthethi kuthi ufanele ulindele ukuba abahlobo bakho bafezeke. (INtshumayeli 7:16-18) Phofu ke, into yokuba umntu oselula aye ezintlanganisweni zamaKristu okanye abe nabazali abakhutheleyo ebandleni ayithethi kuthi lowo unokuba ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni.

IMizekeliso 20:11 ithi: “Kwangoqheliselo lwayo inkwenkwe [okanye intombazana] izenza iqondwe enoba usulungekile na yaye uthe tye na umsebenzi wayo.” Ngoko ke, kububulumko ukuhlolisisa ukuba: Ngaba ulwalamano lwalo mntu noYehova yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ebomini bakhe? Okanye, ngaba indlela acinga ngayo nesimo sakhe sengqondo sibonisa “umoya wehlabathi”? (1 Korinte 2:12; Efese 2:2) Ingaba xa ukunye naye ukukhuthaza ukuba unqule uYehova?

Ukuba ukhetha abahlobo abanothando olunyanisekileyo ngoYehova nangezinto zokomoya, awunakuphepha nje iingxaki kodwa uya kuba namandla angakumbi okukhonza uThixo. UPawulos wathi kuTimoti: ‘Phuthuma ubulungisa, ukholo, uthando, uxolo, kunye nabo babiza eNkosini ngentliziyo ehlambulukileyo.’—2 Timoti 2:22.

Ubuhlobo Nomntu Wesini Esahlukileyo

Ukuba umdala ngokwaneleyo yaye ufuna ukutshata, ngaba uye wacinga ngenyameko indlela le migaqo enokusebenza ngayo xa ukhetha iqabane? Zininzi izinto ezisenokukwenza uzive utsaleleke kumntu othile ekubonakala ukuba nisenokutshata, kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo yimeko yokomoya yaloo mntu.

Ngaloo ndlela iBhayibhile isoloko ilumkisa ngokutshata nomntu ongekho “eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39; Duteronomi 7:3, 4; Nehemiya 13:25) Liyinyaniso elokuba, abantu abangengawo amakholwa basenokuthembeka, bahlonelwe yaye babe nobubele. Kodwa, abanayo le nto ikukhuthazayo ukuba ukhulise ezo mpawu yaye unyamezele emtshatweni njengokuba iminyaka ihamba.

Kwelinye icala, umntu ozahlulele kuYehova nonyanisekileyo kuye ngokuthe ngcembe uhlakulela iimpawu zamaKristu aze azilondoloze, nokuba kwenzeka ntoni. Uyaqonda ukuba iBhayibhile inxibelelanisa ukuthanda kukabani iqabane lakhe nokuba nolwalamano oluhle noYehova. (Efese 5:28, 33; 1 Petros 3:7) Ngaloo ndlela, xa amaqabane omabini emthanda uYehova, anamathuba amaninzi okuba ahlale enyanisekile omnye komnye.

Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba imitshato yabo bangabakhonzi bakaYehova ngokuqinisekileyo iza kuphumelela? Akunjalo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uye watshata nomntu ongenamdla ungako kwizinto zokomoya, yintoni enokwenzeka? Engakwazi ukumelana namanzithinzithi ale nkqubo yezinto, umntu obuthathaka ngokomoya unokuphambuka kwibandla lamaKristu. (Filipu 3:18; 1 Yohane 2:19) Khawufan’ ucinge nje ngentlungu neengxabano eziza kubakho emtshatweni ukuba elinye iqabane liye labanjiswa ‘zizidyobho zehlabathi.’—2 Petros 2:20.

Ngaphambi kokwakha ubuhlobo obunokukhokelela ekubeni kutshatwe, zibuze: Ngaba kulo mntu kukho into ebonisa ukuba uyazixabisa izinto zokomoya? Ngaba umisela umzekelo omhle kwindlela aphila ngayo njengomKristu? Ngaba lo mntu ubambelele kwinyaniso yeBhayibhile, okanye ngaba kusafuneka ixesha elingakumbi ukuze akhule ngokomoya? Ngaba weyisekile ukuba eyona nto iphambili kuye kukuthanda uYehova? Ukwazi ukuba lo mntu unegama elihle kuyanceda. Phofu ke, ekugqibeleni, ufanele uqiniseke ukuba lo mntu unomdla kuye uzinikele kuYehova kwaye unokuba liqabane lomtshato elifanelekileyo.

Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba abanye abantu abatsaleleka “kubantu abangafanelekanga” baqala batsaleleke kwizinto ezingafanelekanga—njengendlela yokuzonwabisa engafanelekanga okanye baneentshukumisa ezingafanelekanga. Ulutsha olungumzekelo kwibandla lamaKristu alusoze lukuthelele kwizinto ezinjalo. Ngoko ke, hlolisisa intliziyo yakho.

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba intliziyo yakho ifuna ukulungiswa, sukulahl’ ithemba. Intliziyo inako ukuqeqeshwa. (IMizekeliso 23:12) Eyona ngongoma yile: Yintoni kanye kanye oyifunayo? Ngaba ufuna ukutsaleleka kwizinto ezifanelekileyo nakwabo bazenzayo? Ngoncedo lukaYehova, usenokuwukhulisa umnqweno onjalo. (INdumiso 97:10) Kwaye ngokuqeqesha amandla akho okuqonda ukuze akwazi ukwahlula okulungileyo nokubi, uya kukufumanisa kulula ukuqonda ukuba ngubani oya kuba ngumhlobo ofanelekileyo, nowakhayo.—Hebhere 5:14.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 14]

Unxulumano oluhle lunempembelelo entle ngokomoya