Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokwenza Amadinga Okuthandana Ngokufihlakeleyo?

UJessicaa wakha wema nematha. Yaqal’ inkathazo xa uJeremy owayefunda naye watsaleleka kuye. UJessica uthi: “Wayeyinzwana, yaye abahlobo bam bathi yayingoyena mfana unesidima kwabakhe badibana nabo. Amantombazana amaninzi akhe azibika kuye kodwa wayengenamdla kuwo. Wayethanda mna kuphela.”

Kungekudala, uJeremy wacela ukwenza amadinga noJessica. UJessica uthi: “Ndamchazela ukuba mna njengeNgqina likaYehova, andivumelekanga ukuba ndenze amadinga nomntu ongengomKristu. Kodwa uJeremy wayenal’ icebo. Wabuza, ‘Kunganjani ukuba sithandane uze wena ungabaxeleli abazali bakho?’”

UKUBA kukho umntu otsaleleke kuye ucebisa ngaloo ndlela, ubuya kuphendula uthini? Usenokumangaliswa kukuva ukuba ekuqaleni uJessica wavumelana noJeremy. Uthi: “Ndandicinga ukuba, ukuba ndinokwenza amadinga naye, mhlawumbi usenokuba ngumkhonzi kaYehova.” Yintoni eyenzekayo? Siza kufumanisa kamva. Kuqala, makhe sibone ukuba kwenzeka njani ukuba umntwana ongumKristu nongumzekelo njengoJessica, athi engaqondanga azibone sele ebanjiswe ngumgibe wokwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo.

Kutheni Olunye Ulutsha Luthandana Ngokufihlakeleyo

Kule mihla olunye ulutsha lwenza amadinga luselula. USusan waseBritani uthi: “Ndiye ndabona abantwana abaneminyaka eli-10 okanye eli-11 bethandana!” Yintoni le bayingxameleyo? Ukuziva nje utsalelekile kumntu wesini esahlukileyo nengcinezelo yoontanga—isoloko izezona zinto zibangela ukuba benze amadinga. ULois waseOstreliya uthi: “Iinguqulelo ezenzeka emzimbeni nempembelelo yabanye abantwana esikolweni ikhokelela ekubeni benze amadinga okuthandana.”

Kodwa kutheni abanye besenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo? UJeffrey waseBritani uthi: “Mhlawumbi boyika okuza kuthethwa ngabazali babo.” UDavid waseMzantsi Afrika uvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo. Uthi: “Bayazi ukuba abazali abasoze bayivumele loo nto, ngoko ke ababaxeleli.” Intombazana yaseOstreliya egama linguJane ithetha ngeny’ into eyenzekayo. Uthi: “Ukwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo kukuvukela. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba akuphathwa njengomntu omdala ocinga ukuba unguye, ugqiba ekubeni wenze unothanda. Ilula nje into yokuba ungabaxeleli.”

IBhayibhile iyalela ukuba uthobele abazali bakho. (Efese 6:1) Xa abazali bakho bengafuni ukuba wenze amadinga, ngokuqinisekileyo banezizathu ezivakalayo. Ngomzekelo, ukuba bangamaNgqina kaYehova, abazali bakho, basenokufuna ukuba wenze amadinga nomnye umKristu—yaye sekunjalo, xa nobabini nikulungele ukutshata.b Noko ke, musa ukumangaliswa kukuzifumanisa ucinga ukuba:

◼ Ndiyaphoswa, wonke nje omnye umntu wenza amadinga.

◼ Nditsaleleke kumntu ongenguye umKristu.

◼ Ndingathandana nomnye umKristu, nakuba ndisemncinane ukuba ndingatshata.

Mhlawumbi uyayazi indlela abaza kusabela ngayo abazali bakho xa benokukuva uthetha la mazwi angasentla. Ngaphakathi uyazi ukuba abazali bakho benza into efanelekileyo. Sekunjalo, usenokuvakalelwa njengoManami, waseJapan, othi: “Ingcinezelo yokwenza amadinga inamandla kangangokuba, maxa wambi ndiye ndingaqiniseki enoba andifanele ndingawenzi kusini na. Kulutsha lwanamhlanje ayikho ngqiqweni into yokuba ungenzi madinga.” Olunye ulutsha olucinga ngale ndlela luye lwenza amadinga, lwaza lwakufihla oko kubazali balo. Njani?

“Saxelelwa Ukuba Singaze Siyiphathe”

Nkqu ibinzana nje elithi “ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo” linuk’ ukutsha. Abanye bayakufihla ukwenza amadinga ngokuncokola ngomnxeba okanye kwi-Internet. Phakathi kwabantu baba ngathi ngabahlobo nje, ngoxa izinto abazincokolayo nge-e-mail nasefowunini zithetha eny’ into.

UCaleb waseNigeria usichazela elinye iqhinga. Uthi: “Olunye ulutsha olwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo luthetha izinto ezaziwa lulo lodwa lusebenzise neziteketiso xa luncokola ukuze abanye abantu bangayiva into oluthetha ngayo.” Enye indlela olwenza ngayo kukuhamba lungamaqela luze kamva luhambe ngababini. UJames waseBritani uthi: “Ngenye imini iqela lethu lamenywa ukuba lidibane kwindawo ethile, ukuze aba babini bafumane ithuba lokuba kunye. Saxelelwa ukuba singaze siyiphathe.”

Njengokuba uJames esitsho, ukwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo kudla ngokwenziwa liqela labahlobo. UCarol waseSkotlani uthi: “Kubakho umntu omnye oyaziyo into eqhubekayo kodwa akhethe ukutya tyum ngenxa nje yokuba ‘engafuni iviwe’ ngaye.”

Ngokufuthi kubakho ukunganyaniseki. UBeth waseKhanada uthi: “Abantwana abaninzi abenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo bayabaxokisa abazali babo ngendawo abaya kuyo. UMisaki waseJapan uyavuma ukuba naye wakhe wayenza loo nto. Uthi: “Ndandifanele ndicinge ukuba ndiza kuthi bendiyephi kanene. Ndandiye ndikulumkele ukuxoka ngezinye izinto ngaphandle nje kwale yokwenza kwam amadinga ukuze abazali bahlale bendithembile.”

Imiphumo Yokwenza Amadinga Ngokufihlakeleyo

Ukuba ulukuhlelwa ekubeni wenze amadinga okuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo—okanye sele ukwenza oko—ufanele uqwalasele oku kulandelayo.

◼ Le nkohliso iza kundikhokelela phi? Ngaba uneenjongo zokutshata nalo mntu kungekudala? UEvan waseUnited States uthi: “Ukwenza amadinga ungenazinjongo zakutshata kufana nokubhengeza into ethile ube ungayithengisi.” IMizekeliso 13:12 ithi: “Ulindelo olubanjezelweyo lugulisa intliziyo.” Ngaba ngokwenene ufuna ukumkhathaza umntu omthandayo?

◼ UYehova uThixo uvakalelwa njani ngale nto ndiyenzayo? IBhayibhile ithi, “zonke izinto zize yaye zibhencekile emehlweni alowo simele siphendule kuye.” (Hebhere 4:13) Ngoko ke, ukuba uyayifihla into yokuba wenza amadinga—okanye uquma umhlobo wakho—uYehova sele eyazi loo nto. Ukuba kukho ukhohlisa okubandakanyekileyo, unezizathu ezivakalayo zokuxhalaba. UYehova uThixo ukuthiyile ukuxoka. Eneneni, “ulwimi oluxokayo” eBhayibhileni luphakathi kwezinto uThixo azicekisayo.—IMizekeliso 6:16-19.

Ukwenza amadinga okuthandana esidlangalaleni kuyakukhusela ekukhohlisweni. Akumangalisi ke ukuba, abanye abantu abenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo baye baziphathe kakubi ngokwesini. UJane waseOstreliya usibalisela ngomhlobo wakhe owayesenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo nomfana afunda naye nto leyo eyaphumela ekubeni aphile ubomi obumbaxa. UJane uthi: “Ngexesha uyise efumanisa ukuba wenza amadinga okuthandana, wayekhulelwe.”

Ukuba wenza amadinga okuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo kuya kuba kuhle ukuba uthethe nabazali bakho okanye umKristu oqolileyo. Ukuba unomhlobo owenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo, musa ukudlelana naye ngokumquma. (1 Timoti 5:22) Uya kuvakalelwa njani ukuba olu lwalamano lwabo luba nemiphumo emibi? Ngaba ubuncinane akunakuziva unetyala? Ngokomzekelo, masithi umhlobo wakho onesifo seswekile yaye utya iilekese ngokufihlakeleyo. Kuthekani ukuba ufumanisa ukuba wenza loo nto, kodwa uyakucenga ukuba ungaxeleli mntu? Yiyiphi eyona nto ibalulekileyo—kukuquma loo mhlobo wakho okanye kukwenza okuthile okuya kusindisa ubomi bakhe?

Ufanele wenze okufanayo nangomntu omaziyo owenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo. Musa ukukhathazeka kuba oko kusenokuphelisa ubuhlobo benu. Ekuhambeni kwexesha umhlobo wokwenene uya kuqonda ukuba ubunceda kwayena.—IMizekeliso 27:6.

“Ndandiyazi Into Endandimele Ndiyenze”

UJessica okhankanywe ekuqaleni kweli nqaku wayitshintsha indlela acinga ngayo ngokwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo xa weva indlela awayisingatha ngayo imeko efanayo omnye udade ongumKristu. UJessica uthi: “Emva kokuba ndeva indlela awaluphelisa ngayo olo lwalamano, ndayazi into endandimele ndiyenze.” Ngaba kwakulula ukuqhawula olo lwalamano? Akunjalo! UJessica uthi: “Yayikuphela komfana endandimthanda ngokwenene. Ndandilila mihla le kangangeeveki eziliqela.”

Sekunjalo, uJessica wayesazi enye into—wayemthanda uYehova yaye nangona wayekhe waphambuka, ngokuqinisekileyo wayefuna ukwenza okulungileyo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, intlungu endandinayo yaphela. UJessica uthi: “Ngoku ndinolwalamano oluhle noYehova kunokuba kwakunjalo ngaphambili. Ndiyambulela uYehova ngokusinika ukhokelo olufika ngexesha elifanelekileyo!

Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .” anokufunyanwa kwiWeb site ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

OFANELE UCINGE NGAKO

◼ Buyela umva uze ujonge iimeko ezintathu ezibhalwe ngamagama angqindilili kwiphepha 27. Yiyiphi ukuba ikho kwezi echaza indlela wena ovakalelwa ngayo maxa wambi?

◼ Unokuwusingatha njani lo mbandela ngaphandle kokwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo?

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 28]

Ngaba Yimfihlo Okanye Ngumcimbi Wobuqu?

Xa abantu besenza amadinga okuthandana baze bangaxeleli mntu, oko akuthethi kuthi kukho unyawo lwemfene. Mhlawumbi umfana nentombazana abasexabisweni lokutshata bafuna ukwazana ngakumbi kodwa kangangexesha elithile banqwenela ukuba loo nto ingaziwa. Mhlawumbi kanye njengokuba uThomas esitsho, “abafuni kuhlekiswe ngabo, kubuzwe, ‘Niza kuzimanya nini?’”

Ukuba abantu bayintw’ ibila befuna ukwazi, oko kusenokuba yingozi. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 2:7) Noko ke, xa abanye beqalisa ukwenza amadinga baye bakhethe ukuba oko bangakwenzi esidlangalaleni—nangona belumkela ukuba bangabi bodwa. (IMizekeliso 10:19) UAnna oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala uthi: “Oku kuvulel’ ithuba lokuba abo babini baqiniseke ngolwalamano lwabo. Ukuba baqinisekile, mhlawumbi kamva banokungakufihli oko.”

Kwangaxeshanye, akufanele ubafihlele abantu abamele bazi ukuba wenza amadinga, njengabazali bakho okanye abazali balo mntu wenza naye idinga. Ukuba uyayifihla loo nto, ufanele uzibuze isizathu sokwenjenjalo. Ngaba imeko yakho iyafana nekaJessica okhankanywe ekuqaleni kweli nqaku? Ngaba uyayazi ngaphakathi ukuba abazali bakho banezizathu ezivakalayo zokungakuvumeli ukuba wenze amadinga?

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 29]

ICEBISO ELIYA KUBAZALI

Emva kokuba ufunde eli nqaku lidluleyo, usenokuzibuza, ‘Kutheni unyana okanye intombi yam ingandixeleli ukuba yenza amadinga okuthandana?’ Phawula oko ulutsha oluninzi oluye lwakuchazela uVukani! ngesizathu sokuba lwenze amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo, uze ucinge ngemibuzo elandelayo.

◼ “Abanye abantwana abaxhaswa ngokweemvakalelo ekhaya, ngoko ke baxhomekeka kubafana okanye kumantombazana enza nawo amadinga.”—UWendy.

Njengomzali, unokuqiniseka njani ukuba iintswelo zokwemvakalelo zomntwana wakho zinyanyekelwa ngendlela efanelekileyo? Ngaba unokuphucula kule nkalo? Ukuba uza kwenjenjalo, yintoni ofanele uyenze?

◼ “Xa ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala, umfundi ovela kwelinye ilizwe wacela ukuba ndithandane naye. Ndavuma. Ndandicinga ukuba kuza kuba mnandi ukwangiwa ngumfana.”—UDiane.

Ukuba uDiane ebengumntwana wakho, ubunokuyicombulula njani le ngxaki?

◼ “Iicell phone zenza kube lula ukwenza amadinga okuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo. Abazali abazi nowathethwa ngazo!”—UAnnette.

Yiyiphi imiqathango onokuyibekela abantwana bakho ngendlela abayisebenzisa ngayo icell phone?

◼ “Ukwenza amadinga ngokufihlakeleyo kulula xa abazali bengazikhathazi ngokuba abantwana babo benza ntoni yaye nabani.”—UThomas.

Ngaba zikho iindlela onokusondelelana ngazo nabantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo uze kwangaxeshanye ubanike inkululeko yabo?

◼ “Amaxesha amaninzi abazali ababikho ekhaya xa abantwana bevel’ esikolweni. Okanye babathembe gqitha abanye abantu kangangokuba bayabavumela ukuba bahambe nabantwana babo.”—UNicholas.

Bazi abahlobo babantwana bakho. Ngaba uyayazi into abayenzayo xa bekunye nabo?

◼ Unokwenza amadinga okuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo xa abazali bengqongqo gqitha.”—UPaul.

Ngaphandle kokulalanisa kwimithetho nemigaqo yeBhayibhile, yintoni eninokuyenza ukuze ‘ukuba nengqiqo kwenu kwazeke?’—Filipi 4:5.

◼ “Ngoxa ndandisekwishumi elivisayo, ndandizijongela phantsi yaye ndandifun’ ukuhoywa. Ndazibika komnye umfana okwibandla eliselumelwaneni nge-e-mail yaye saqalisa ukuthandana. Wandenza ndaziva ndikhethekile.”—ULinda.

Ucinga ukuba yintoni le uLinda wayengayifumani ekhaya?

Kutheni ungancokoli nonyana okanye intombi yakho usebenzisa eli nqaku nale bhokisi. Eyona nto inokunceda kukuzityand’ igila nokuthetha phandle. Kufun’ ixesha nomonde ukuqonda iintswelo zolutsha, kodwa oko kuwufanele umgudu.—IMizekeliso 20:5.