Imbono YeBhayibhile

Ukunyaniseka Emtshatweni—Kuthetha Ukuthini?

Abantu abaninzi balindele ukuba abantu abatshatileyo banyaniseke, bangabi neentlobano zesini nomnye umntu. Le mbono iyavisisana neBhayibhile, kuba ithi: “Umtshato mawubekeke phakathi kwenu nonke, nesilili somtshato masingadyojwa.”—Hebhere 13:4.

NGABA ukungabi neentlobano zesini nabanye abantu kuthetha ukuba unyanisekile emtshatweni? Kuthekani ngokuba neminqweno ephosakeleyo ngesini ngomntu ongelilo iqabane lakho lomtshato? Ngaba ulwalamano olusondeleyo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo lunokuthetha “ukunganyaniseki”?

Ngaba Iminqweno Ephosakeleyo Ngesini Ayinabungozi?

IBhayibhile ithi iintlobano zesini yinto yokwemvelo nenanditshwa ngabantu abatshatileyo, yaye olu lwalamano lunokubangela imihlali nolwaneliseko. (IMizekeliso 5:18, 19) Kodwa iingcali ezininzi zakutshanje zikholelwa ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo—nefanelekileyo—ukuba umntu otshatileyo abe neminqweno ephosakeleyo ngabanye abantu besini esahlukileyo. Ngaba iminqweno enjalo ayinabungozi, lo gama nje ingade ifezekiswe?

Xa umntu enomnqweno ophosakeleyo ngesini wanelisa yena siqu. Ukucinga ngokuzanelisa akuvisisani necebiso eliseBhayibhileni elibhekiswe kubantu abatshatileyo. Ngokuphathelele iintlobano zesini, iLizwi likaThixo lithi: “Umfazi akanagunya kowakhe umzimba, kodwa yindoda yakhe enalo; ngokunjalo, nayo, indoda ayinagunya kowayo umzimba, kodwa ngumfazi wayo onalo.” (1 Korinte 7:4) Xa abantu abatshatileyo belandela eli cebiso leBhayibhile bayakuphepha ukusebenzisa isini ukuze banelise iminqweno yenkanuko neyokuzingca. Ngenxa yoko, omabini amaqabane omtshato aba noyolo olungakumbi.—IZenzo 20:35; Filipi 2:4.

Ukuba neminqweno ephosakeleyo ngesini ngomntu ongelilo iqabane lakho kuquka ukucinga ngezenzo ezithile, yaye kunokubangela intlungu kwelinye iqabane ukuba bezinokufezwa. Ngaba ukuba neminqweno enjalo kunokuvul’ amathuba amaninzi ukuba umntu akrexeze? Kunjalo kanye. IBhayibhile ibonisa unxulumano olukhoyo phakathi kweengcinga nezenzo: “Ngamnye ulingwa ngokutsalwa nokuwexulwa ngumnqweno wakhe. Wandule ke umnqweno, xa uthe wakhawula, uzale isono.”—Yakobi 1:14, 15.

UYesu wathi: “Wonk’ ubani oqhubeka ekhangela umfazi ngokokude amkhanuke sele emkrexezile entliziyweni yakhe.” (Mateyu 5:28) Xa ukuphepha ukuba neminqweno yokukrexeza, ‘ulondoloza intliziyo yakho’ yaye ukhusela umtshato wakho.—IMizekeliso 4:23.

Kutheni Ufanele Unyaniseke Nangokweemvakalelo?

Ukuze uphumelele emtshatweni kufuneka ‘uzinikele ngokupheleleyo’ kwiqabane lakho. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:6; IMizekeliso 5:15-18) Kuthetha ntoni oku? Nangona kuqhelekile ukuba umntu abe nabahlobo abahlukahlukeneyo ngokwesini, iqabane lakho ufanele ulinike ixesha, ingqalelo novelwano olungakumbi kunabanye. Naluphi na ulwalamano onalo nomnye umntu, olunokubangela ukuba uchithe amandla akho onke kuye kuneqabane lakho, kuthetha “ukunganyaniseki,” nokuba anikhange nibe neentlobano zesini.a

Lunokuqalisa njani ulwalamano olunjalo? Umntu wesini esahlukileyo unokubonakala enomtsalane okanye enovelwano olungakumbi kuneqabane lakho. Ukuchitha ixesha naloo mntu emsebenzini okanye kwimbutho kunokubangela ukuba nincokole ngezinto zobuqu, kuquka iingxaki okanye izinto ezikudimazayo emtshatweni wakho. Usenokuqhubeka uzityand’ igila kuloo mntu. Xa nisoloko nincokola efowunini, okanye nithumelelana imiyalezo ngekhompyutha nisenokude nithethe ngezinto ezifanele ziphelele phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho lomtshato. Abantu abatshatileyo balindele ukuba izinto ezithile zaziwe ngabo nangamaqabane abo kuphela, yaye omnye akafanele ‘alityhile igqugula lomnye.’—IMizekeliso 25:9.

Musa ukuphika ukuba uneemvakalelo zothando ngomnye umntu xa kunjalo! UYeremiya 17:9 uthi: “Intliziyo inenkohliso.” Ukuba unolwalamano olusondeleyo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, zibuze: ‘Ngaba ndiyazithethelela okanye ndiyalufihla olu lwalamano? Ngaba bendiza kukhululeka ukuba iqabane lam belinokuziva izinto endizincokola nalo mntu? Ndingavakalelwa njani xa iqabane lam belinokuba “nolwalamano” olunjalo?’—Mateyu 7:12.

Ulwalamano olunjalo olungafanelekanga lunokuwuqhawula umtshato, ekubeni ukusondelelana ngolo hlobo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kunokukhokelela kwiintlobano zesini. Njengokuba uYesu walumkisayo esithi, “entliziyweni kuphuma . . . ukukrexeza.” (Mateyu 15:19) Kodwa ke, nokuba olu lwalamano alukhokeli kwiintlobano zesini, kunokuba nzima ukuba elinye iqabane liphinde likuthembe. Omnye umfazi ogama linguKarenb wathi: “Xa ndafumanisa ukuba uMark wayencokola nelinye ibhinqa efowunini izihlandlo eziliqela ngosuku, ndakhathazeka gqitha. Kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba abazange babe neentlobano zesini. Andiqondi ukuba ndiya kuphinda ndimthembe.”

Musa ukusondelelana kakhulu nomntu wesini esahlukileyo ongatshatanga naye. Musa ukuzibetha ngoyaba iimvakalelo ezingafanelekanga okanye uzithethelele xa uvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Ukuba uyabona ukuba ulwalamano onalo nomnye umntu lubeka umtshato wakho engozini, thabatha inyathelo ngokukhawuleza uze uluphelise. IBhayibhile ithi: “Onobuqili ubona intlekele azifihle.”—IMizekeliso 22:3.

Wukhusele Umtshato Wakho

UMdali wethu wayefuna ukuba abantu abatshatileyo babe nolwalamano olusenyongweni. Wathi indoda nomfazi bafanele “babe nyama-nye.” (Genesis 2:24) Ukuba nyama-nye kuthetha okungakumbi kunokuba neentlobano zesini. Kuquka ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni, oluthi lomelele nangakumbi xa abantu bengazingci, bethembana yaye behlonelana. (IMizekeliso 31:11; Malaki 2:14, 15; Efese 5:28, 33) Ukusebenzisa le migaqo kuya kukunceda ukhusele umtshato wakho ukuze ungaqhawulwa kukunganyaniseki engqondweni nangokweemvakalelo.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

NGABA WAKHA WAZIBUZA?

◼ Ngaba ukuba neminqweno ephosakeleyo ngesini kunokukhokelela kwizenzo?—Yakobi 1:14, 15.

◼ Ngaba ukuba nolwalamano olusondeleyo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kunokubeka umtshato wakho engozini?—Yeremiya 17:9; Mateyu 15:19.

◼ Unokuwomeleza njani umtshato wakho?—1 Korinte 7:4; 13:8; Efese 5:28, 33.

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 29]

“Wonk’ ubani oqhubeka ekhangela umfazi ngokokude amkhanuke sele emkrexezile entliziyweni yakhe.”—Mateyu 5:28.