‘Yiba Nemihlali Ngumfazi Wobutsha Bakho’
‘Yiba nemihlali ngumfazi wobutsha bakho. Kutheni na, nyana wam, ufanele uthabatheke ngumfazi wasemzini?’—IMIZEKELISO 5:18, 20.
1, 2. Kutshiwo njani ukuba ukuyotywa luthando kwendoda nomfazi yintsikelelo?
IBHAYIBHILE ithetha phandle ngeentlobano zesini. KwiMizekeliso 5:18, 19 sifunda oku: “Mawusikelelwe umthombo wakho wamanzi, ube nemihlali ngumfazi wobutsha bakho, ixhamakazi elithandekayo nebhokhwe yasezintabeni enomtsalane. Amabele akhe makakuyobe ngamaxesha onke. Uthabatheke rhoqo luthando lwakhe.”
2 Eli binzana lithi ‘umthombo wamanzi’ libhekisele kuyolo lwesini. Yintsikelelo kuba ukuyotywa luthando nentabatheko kumaqabane atshatileyo sisipho esivela kuThixo. Noko ke, olu lwalamano lumele lube phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo kuphela. Ngenxa yoko, uKumkani uSolomon wakwaSirayeli mandulo, umbhali weMizekeliso, ezibuzisa uthi: “Kutheni na, nyana wam, ufanele uthabatheke ngumfazi wasemzini okanye uwole isifuba somfazi wasemzini?”—IMizekeliso 5:20.
3. (a) Yintoni ebuhlungu eyenzeka kwimitshato emininzi? (b) UThixo ukujonga njani ukukrexeza?
3 Xa betshata, indoda nomfazi benza isifungo sokuba baya kuthandana baze bahlale bethembekile omnye komnye. Nakuba kunjalo, imitshato emininzi iyaphela kukukrexeza. Emva kokwenza uhlolisiso izihlandlo ezingama-25, omnye umphengululi wafumanisa ukuba “ama-25 ekhulwini ebafazini nama-44 ekhulwini kumadoda akhe akrexeza.” Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ningalahlekiswa. Abahenyuzi, nabanquli-zithixo, nabakrexezi, namadoda agcinelwe iinjongo ezingezozamvelo, namadoda alala namadoda . . . abayi kubudla ilifa ubukumkani bukaThixo.” (1 Korinte 6:9, 10) Lo wona umbandela uzicacele. Ukukrexeza sisono esinzulu kuThixo, yaye abanquli bokwenyaniso bamele bakuphephe ukungathembeki emtshatweni. Yintoni eya kusinceda sigcine ‘umtshato wethu ubekekile, nesilili sawo singadyojwa’?—Hebhere 13:4.
Lumkela Intliziyo Kuba Inenkohliso
4. Ziziphi indlela ezinokwenza amaKristu atshatileyo athi engaqondi azibone sethandana nabantu angatshatanga nabo?
4 Kweli hlabathi lanamhlanje linemilinganiselo ephantsi, abantu abaninzi “amehlo abo azele lukrexezo yaye abakwazi kusiyeka isono.” (2 Petros 2:14) Ngabom, bathandana nabantu abangatshatanga nabo. Amanye amazwe aneqela lamabhinqa asebenzayo, yaye ukusebenza ndawonye kwawo namadoda kuvulela ithuba elibi lokuthandana apho emsebenzini. Neencoko zeInternet ziye zenza kwalula nakwabo bebesoyika ukuzicelela uthando. Abaninzi abatshatileyo bawela kule migibe bengayiqondi kakuhle eyona nto yenzekayo.
5, 6. Kwenzeka njani ukuze elinye ibhinqa elingumKristu lizibone selisengozini, ibe sifunda ntoni thina koko?
5 Cinga indlela umKristu esiza kuthi nguMary awazibona ngayo sele esemngciphekweni wokukrexeza. Umyeni wakhe, ongelilo iNgqina likaYehova, wayengabonisi mdla kwintsapho yakhe. UMary ukhumbula iminyaka eyadlulayo xa wadibana nomnye umntu osebenza nomyeni wakhe. Loo ndoda yayichubekile, ibe ethubeni yabonisa umdla kunqulo lukaMary. Uthi: “Yayinobubele, yahluke gqitha kumyeni wam.” Zange kube kudala iindonga zawelana. UMary waqiqa ngelithi: “Andikrexezi nayo yaye inomdla eBhayibhileni. Mhlawumbi ndingayinceda.”
6 Ngaphambi kokuba oko kutsaleleka kwabo kukhokelele ekukrexezeni, uMary wavuka ebuthongweni wayiqonda ingozi akuyo. (Galati 5:19-21; Efese 4:19) Isazela sakhe saqala ukusebenza waza wayilungisa loo meko. Lo mzekelo kaMary ubonisa kakuhle ukuba “intliziyo inenkohliso kunayo nantoni na yaye iyatyhudisa.” (Yeremiya 17:9) IBhayibhile iyasilumkisa: “Ngaphezu kwako konke okunye okumele kulondolozwe, londoloza intliziyo yakho.” (IMizekeliso 4:23) Singayilondoloza njani intliziyo?
‘Onobuqili Uyazifihla’
7. Xa unceda umntu oneengxaki zomtshato, liliphi icebiso leBhayibhile ekuya kuba bubulumko ukulithobela?
7 Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Lowo ucinga ukuba umile makalumke angawi.” (1 Korinte 10:12) Yona iMizekeliso 22:3 ithi: “Onobuqili ubona intlekele azifihle.” Kunokuba uzithembe ngokugqithiseleyo usithi, ‘Akunakwenzeka kum oko,’ uya kuba ulumkile xa ucingisisa nzulu ngeemeko ezinokukufaka engxakini. Ngokomzekelo, umele uyiphephe into yokuba abantu besini esahlukileyo abaneengxaki zomtshato bamane besiza kuphalaza intlungu yabo kuwe. (IMizekeliso 11:14) Xelela loo mntu ukuba iingxaki zomtshato zilunga xa umntu ezixubusha neqabane lakhe. Usenokuya kumKristu oqolileyo, nalapho xa eyindoda athethe nenye indoda, xa engumfazi aye komnye umfazi, okanye ke aye kubadala. (Tito 2:3, 4) Abadala bebandla lamaNgqina kaYehova bamisela umzekelo omhle kule nkalo. Xa umdala kufuneka athethe ngombandela oyimfihlo nodade ongumKristu, oko umele akwenzele kwindawo enabantu—njengakwiHolo yoBukumkani.
8. Yintoni omele uyilumkele gqitha xa usemsebenzini?
8 Xa usemsebenzini nakwenye indawo, umele ulumkele iimeko eziya kwenza uwele kumgibe wokuthandana. Ngokomzekelo, ukuchitha iiyure ezingakumbi usebenza ngokusondeleyo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kunokukwenza utsaleleke kuye. Njengendoda okanye umfazi otshatileyo, umele ukwenze kucace kwintetho nakwindlela oziphatha ngayo ukuba ayithi qatha into yokuthandana nomntu ongeloqabane lakho. Njengomntu ohlonela uThixo, ngekhe utsalele abanye kuwe ngendlel’ engafanelekanga wenze ngathi unomdla wokuthandana nabo okanye unxibe yaye uzilungise ngendlela engafanelekanga. (1 Timoti 4:8; 6:11; 1 Petros 3:3, 4) Ukubek’ iifoto zeqabane lomtshato nezabantwana bakho ekuhleni kwindawo osebenza kuyo kuya kumana kukhumbuza wena nabanye ukuba intsapho yakho yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuwe. Zimisele ukuba ungaze uvumele—okanye unyamezele—ukulingelwa eluthandweni ngomnye umntu.—Yobhi 31:1.
“Yidla Ubomi Nomfazi Omthandileyo”
9. Ziziphi izinto ezinokwenza umntu azibone sele ethanda omnye umntu?
9 Ukulondoloza intliziyo kufuna okungakumbi kunokuphepha nje iimeko eziyingozi. Ukutsaleleka komnye umntu ngoxa utshatile kusenokuntama ukuba phakathi komfazi nendoda kukho ongazinyamekeliyo iintswelo zomnye. Kungenzeka ukuba indoda ayinaxesha lomfazi wayo okanye umfazi uhlala eyigxeka indoda yakhe. Kuthi kusenjalo—emsebenzini okanye kwibandla lobuKristu—kuvele umntu obonakala enazo ezi mpawu lingenazo iqabane lomtshato. Akubi kudala ziwelane iindonga, kucace ukuba lufuna ukukhula olo lwalamano. Indlela okwenzeka ngayo oku kungqina ubunyani bamazwi eBhayibhile athi: “Ngamnye ulingwa ngokutsalwa nokuwexulwa ngumnqweno wakhe.”—Yakobi 1:14.
10. Amadoda nabafazi anokulomeleza njani uthando lwawo?
10 Kunokufuna ukwanelisa iminqweno yawo kubantu angatshatanga nabo—enoba kukuthandana, bubuhlobo okanye ukuphalaza imbilini—amadoda nabafazi amele azabalazele ukomeleza uthando namaqabane awo omtshato. Ngandlela zonke chithani ixesha kunye ukuze nisondelelane. Cingani ngezinto ezabangela nithandane. Khumbulani indlela enanithandana ngayo ngaphambi kokuba nitshate nezihlandlo ezimyoli enanizichitha kunye. Wuthandazeleni kuThixo lo mbandela. Umdumisi uDavide wabongoza uYehova wathi: “Dala ngaphakathi kum intliziyo esulungekileyo, Thixo, uze ufake ngaphakathi kum umoya omtsha, oqinileyo.” (INdumiso 51:10) Zimisele ‘ukudla ubomi nomfazi omthandileyo ngayo yonke imihla yobomi bakho akunikileyo uThixo phantsi kwelanga.’—INtshumayeli 9:9.
11. Yiyiphi indima edlalwa lulwazi, ubulumko nokuqonda ekomelezeni iqhina lomtshato?
11 Enye into ebaluleke gqitha ekomelezeni iqhina lomtshato lulwazi, ubulumko nokuqonda. IMizekeliso 24:3, 4 ithi: “Indlu iya kwakhiwa ngobulumko, imiselwe ngokuqinileyo ngokuqonda. Yaye amagumbi angaphakathi aya kuzaliswa kukwazi nazo zonke izinto ezixabisekileyo nezithandekayo zexabiso.” Phakathi kwezinto zexabiso ezaliswa ngazo indlu eyonwabileyo ziimpawu ezifana nothando, ukunyaniseka, ukoyika uThixo nokholo. Ukuze ubani abe nazo kufuneka amazi uThixo. Ngoko ke, izibini ezitshatileyo kufuneka zizimisele ekufundeni iBhayibhile. Bubaluleke njani ke bona ubulumko nokuqonda? Ukuze ubani ajamelane neengxaki zemihla ngemihla kufuneka abe nobulumko, into ethetha ukukwazi ukusebenzisa ulwazi lweZibhalo. Umntu onokuqonda uyakwazi ukuqonda iingcamango neemvakalelo zeqabane lakhe lomtshato. (IMizekeliso 20:5) Esebenzisa uSolomon, uYehova uthi: “Nyana wam, nikela ingqalelo kubulumko bam. Iindlebe zakho uzithobele ukuqonda kwam.”—IMizekeliso 5:1.
Xa Kukho “Imbandezelo”
12. Kutheni singamangaliswa nje yinto yokuba abantu abatshatileyo beneengxaki?
12 Awukho umtshato ongenazingxaki. NeBhayibhile iyatsho ukuba amadoda nabafazi baya kuba “nembandezelo enyameni yabo.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Amaxhala obomi, ukugula, utshutshiso nezinye izinto zinokuzisa uxinezeleko emtshatweni. Noko ke, njengamaqabane, anyanisekileyo xa kuvela iingxaki nimele nifune kunye isicombululo nizame ukukholisa uYehova.
13. Ziziphi iinkalo anokuzihlolisisa kuzo amadoda nabafazi?
13 Kuthekani ukuba iingxaki zomtshato zibangelwa yindlela abaphathana ngayo abo batshatileyo? Kufuneka benze umgudu ukuze bazicombulule. Ngokomzekelo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele isiba yinto yamihla le ukugrwangxulana. (IMizekeliso 12:18) Njengokuba kubonisiwe kwinqaku elandulela eli, oku kunokuba nemiphumo ebuhlungu. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Kulunge ngakumbi ukuhlala kwilizwe elisentlango kunokuhlala nomfazi onosukuzwano kunye nengqumbo.” (IMizekeliso 21:19) Ukuba ungumfazi kuloo mtshato, zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndenza kube nzima ukuba umyeni wam ahlale nam?’ IBhayibhile ithi kumadoda: “Hlalani nibathanda abafazi benu, ningavuthi ngumsindo ngakubo.” (Kolose 3:19) Ukuba uyindoda, zibuze, ‘Ngaba ukungabonisi kwam uthando, kwenza umfazi wam aye kufuna intuthuzelo kwabanye?’ Kakade ke, asikho isizathu anokuzithethelela ngaso umntu okrexezayo. Kodwa, isibakala sokuba isenzeka le ntlungu senza sifune ukuxubusha phandle ngezi ngxaki.
14, 15. Kutheni kungeloncedo nje ukufuna isicombululo somtshato kumntu ongatshatanga naye?
14 Ukuzama ukuzixolisa ngomntu ongatshatanga naye akuzicombululi iingxaki zomtshato. Inokuba njani imiphumo yoko? Ngaba oko kungakunceda ufumane umtshato ophumelelayo? Bambi basenokucinga njalo. Basenokuthi, ‘Lo yena unezi mpawu kanye ndizifunayo kwiqabane lomtshato.’ Noko asiyonyaniso kwaphela leyo, kuba nabani na oshiya iqabane lakhe lomtshato—okanye okukhuthaza ukuba ushiye elakho—akabuxabisanga kwaphela ubungcwele bomtshato. Asibobulumko ukulindela ukuba loo mtshato uya kuphumelela.
15 UMary okhankanywe ngaphambili wacingisisa nzulu ngemiphumo yenyathelo lakhe, kuquka ukuphulukana nenkoliseko kaThixo okanye enze omnye umntu aphulukane nayo. (Galati 6:7) Uthi: “Ndathi ndakucinga ngendlela endiziva ngayo ngaloo ndoda yayisebenza nomyeni wam, ndaqonda ukuba isenzo sam sinokuvala naliphi ithuba lokuba lo ndoda ifumane ulwazi ngenyaniso. Isenzo sobubi sasiza kuchaphazela kabuhlungu bonke abo babandakanyekileyo size sikhubekise abanye!”—2 Korinte 6:3.
Eyona Nto Isishukumisayo
16. Yiyiphi eminye yemiphumo yokuziphatha okubi?
16 IBhayibhile ilumkisa ithi: “Kuba ivuza njengenqatha lobusi imilebe yomfazi wasemzini, nenkalakahla yakhe igude ngakumbi kuneoli. Kodwa umphumo ukrakra njengomhlonyane; ubukhali njengekrele elintlangothi-mbini.” (IMizekeliso 5:3, 4) Imiphumo yokuziphatha okubi iba buhlungu yaye inokubangela nokufa. Le miphumo iquka ukutyiwa sisazela, izifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini nokuphazamiseka kwelo qabane loniweyo lelo lingathembekanga. Oku kumele kwenze siliphephe ikhondo elinokwenza singathembani emtshatweni.
17. Yintoni eyona nto yenza silondoloze umtshato wethu uhlale ungcwele?
17 Esona sizathu sokuba kuphosakele ukungathembeki emtshatweni kukuba uYehova, uMsunguli womtshato noMenzi wokuba indoda nomfazi banandiphe iintlobano zesini, uthi kuphosakele. Ngomprofeti uMalaki, uthi: “Ndiza kusondela kuni ukuba ndigwebe, yaye ndiza kuba lingqina elikhawulezayo nxamnye . . . nabakrexezi.” (Malaki 3:5) Ngokuphathelele oko uYehova akubonayo, iMizekeliso 5:21 ithi: “Iindlela zomntu ziphambi kwamehlo kaYehova, yaye uyayondela yonke imikhondo yakhe.” Ewe, “zonke izinto zize yaye zibhencekile emehlweni alowo simele siphendule kuye.” (Hebhere 4:13) Ngoko ke, eyona nto yenza silondoloze iqhina lomtshato kukuqonda ukuba noba siye sakufihla kangakanani ukukrexeza kwethu yaye ubonakala umncinane kangakanani na umphumo wako emzimbeni okanye ekuhlaleni, nakuphi na ukuziphatha okubi kweentlobano zesini konakalisa ulwalamano lwethu noYehova.
18, 19. Sifunda ntoni kumzekelo kaYosefu nomfazi kaPotifare?
18 Umzekelo kaYosefu, unyana kasolusapho uYakobi ubonisa phandle ukuba umnqweno wokuba nolwalamano oluhle noThixo yeyona nto inokusinceda. Wathi akukholeka emehlweni kaPotifare, igosa lenkundla kaFaro, uYosefu wenziwa umphathi wendlu kaPotifare. UYosefu “wayemhle ngesiqu, emhle nangembonakalo,” ibe oko wakubona umfazi kaPotifare. Mihla le, wazama ukulukuhla uYosefu ukuba alale naye, kodwa esitsho phantsi. Kwakutheni ukuze uYosefu axhathise kweso silingo? IBhayibhile ithi: “Wayesala aze athi kumfazi wenkosi yakhe: ‘Yabona, inkosi yam . . . ayindibandezanga nantoni na ngaphandle kwakho, kuba ungumfazi wayo. Ngoko ndingathini ukwenza obu bubi bukhulu kangaka ndize eneneni ndone kuThixo?’”—Genesis 39:1-12.
19 UYosefu owayengatshatanga wazigcina enyulu wala ukukrexeza nomfazi wenye indoda. IMizekeliso 5:15 ithi kumadoda atshatileyo: “Sela amanzi kwelakho iqula, namanzi aqukuqelayo kowakho umthombo.” Simele silumke singaziboni sele sithanda abantu esingatshatanga nabo. Masityhalele phambili someleze uthando lwethu kwabo sitshate nabo, size sizabalaze ngamandla ukucombulula naziphi na iingxaki zomtshato ezivelayo. Ngandlela zonke umntu, ‘umele abe nemihlali ngumfazi wobutsha bakhe.’—IMizekeliso 5:18.
Ufunde Ntoni?
• Inokwenzeka njani into yokuba athi umKristu engaqondanga azibone sele ethandana nomntu angatshatanga naye?
• Ziziphi izinto ezinokunceda ubani angaziboni sele ethanda umntu angatshatanga naye?
• Yintoni emele yenziwe sisibini esineengxaki zomtshato?
• Yiyiphi eyona nto isishukumisayo ukuze sigcine umtshato wethu ucocekile?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]
Okubuhlungu kukuba indawo yokusebenza inokuvulela amathuba amabi okuthandana apho emsebenzini
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 28]
‘Amagumbi angaphakathi aya kuzaliswa kukwazi nazizinto ezithandekayo’