Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza
Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nokufelwa Ngumzali?
“Xa kwasweleka uMama, ndaphazamiseka gqitha kwaye ndaziva ndingeyonto. Esaphila wayesigcina simanyene njengentsapho.”—UKaryn.a
ZIMBALWA izinto ezinokuze zikukhathaze ngokunzulu njengokufelwa ngumzali. Akunyamezeli nje kuphela intlungu enkulu yokulahlekelwa ngumzali, kodwa loo nto isenokwenza nekamva lakho lingabi yiyo into obuyilindele.
Mhlawumbi ubunethemba lokuba lo mzali wakho uthandekayo ebeya kubakho xa ufumana ilayisensi yakho yokuqhuba, xa uphumelela ibanga lokugqibela esikolweni, okanye avuyisane nawe ngosuku lwakho lomtshato. Ngoku, njengoko ephelile loo mathemba, ubuhlungu gqitha, udanile yaye usenokuba unawo nomsindo. Unokuhlangabezana njani nezi mvakalelo zininzi kangaka zibangelwa kukufelwa ngumzali?
‘Ngaba Le Ndlela Ndisabela Ngayo Iqhelekile?’
Xa sele uyamkele ngokwenene into yokuba umzali wakho uswelekile, kusenokufuneka ulwe neemvakalelo ezahlukahlukeneyo oqalayo ukuba nazo. UBrian, owayeneminyaka eli-13 kuphela ubudala xa uyise wabulawa kukuhlaselwa yintliziyo, uthi, “Ngobusuku eseva ngabo ezi ndaba, ayikho enye into esakwaziyo ukuyenza ngaphandle kokulila nokuwolana.” Yena uNatalie, owayeneminyaka elishumi xa uyise wabulawa sisifo somhlaza, ukhumbula oku: “Ndandingazi ukuba ndivakalelwe njani. Ndasuka nje ndaba ndindisholo.”
Ukufa kusichaphazela ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo. Ngokwenene, iBhayibhile ithi ‘ngamnye unesibetho sakhe nentlungu yakhe.’ (2 Kronike 6:29) Unaloo nto engqondweni, khawucinge ngendlela okuye kwakuchaphazela ngayo wena ukufa kowakho umzali. Apha ngezantsi, khawuchaze (1) indlela owavakalelwa ngayo ukuqala kwakho ukuva ngokusweleka komzali wakho (2) nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngoku.b
(1) ․․․․․
(2) ․․․․․
Mhlawumbi iimpendulo zakho zibonisa ukuba, ukusa kumkhamo othile, intlungu okuyo iya ithomalala. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Ayithethi kuthi umlibele umzali wakho. Kwelinye icala usenokufumanisa ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zisafana okanye zide zanzulu nangakumbi. Mhlawumbi iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu ziyafika ziphinde zihambe, suke ngequbuliso zize ngamandla. Nako oku kuqhelekile—enoba oku kwenzeka sekudlule iminyaka umzali wakho eswelekile. Umbuzo ke ngulo, Unokuhlangabezana njani nentlungu okuyo—kungakhathaliseki ukuba iza ngaluphi uhlobo?
Iindlela Zokuhlangabezana Nentlungu
Lila xa kuyimfuneko! Ukulila kuyayidambisa intlungu. Noko ke, usenokuvakalelwa njengoAlicia, owaswelekelwa ngunina eneminyaka eli-19 ubudala. Uthi, “Ndandicinga ukuba xa ndikhathazeka kakhulu, abanye baya kucinga ukuba andinalukholo.” Kodwa khawucinge ngoku: UYesu Kristu wayeyindoda efezekileyo enokholo olomeleleyo kuThixo. Kanti, “zasuka zathi waxa iinyembezi” kuye emva kokufelwa ngumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni uLazaro. (Yohane 11:35) Ngoko ungoyiki ukulila. Loo nto ayithethi kuthi akunalukholo! UAlicia uthi: “Ekugqibeleni ndalila kakhulu, yonke imihla.”c
Hlangabezana nokuziva unetyala. UKaryn, owaswelekelwa ngunina eneminyaka eli-13 ubudala uthi: “Rhoqo ndandisiya kwigumbi likamama ndize ndimphuze ngaphambi kokuba ndimvalelise. Ngobunye ubusuku andizange ndiyenze loo nto. UMama wasweleka ngentsasa elandelayo. Nakuba kusenokubonakala kungekho ngqiqweni ukucinga ngolu hlobo, ndiziva ndinetyala kuba ndingazange ndimbone uMama ngobusuku obungaphambili—nangenxa yezinto ezenzeka ngentsasa elandelayo. UTata wayehambe ngezoshishino yaye wacela ukuba sinodadewethu sijonge uMama. Kodwa salala ebusuku. Ukungena kwam kwigumbi likaMama, wayengasaphefumli. Ndaba buhlungu gqitha, kuba wayephilile ukuhamba kukaTata!”
NjengoKaryn, mhlawumbi nawe uziva unetyala ngenxa yezinto owasilelayo ukuzenza. Usenokude uzithuthumbise ngokumana usithi “akwaba.” ‘Akwaba bendikhuthaze uTata ukuba aye kwagqirha.’ ‘Akwaba bendiye kumjonga kuselithuba uMama.’ Ukuba ezi ngcinga ziyaqhubeka zikukhathaza, khumbula oku: Kuqhelekile ukuzisola ngezinto ongewawuzenze ngeny’ indlela. Liyinyaniso elokuba, wawuza kuzenza ngokwahlukileyo ezi zinto ukuba wawuyazi into eza kwenzeka. Kodwa akuzange wazi. Ngoko akunatyala. Akabulawanga nguwe umzali wakho!d
Thetha ngeemvakalelo zakho. IMizekeliso 12:25 ithi: ‘Ilizwi elilungileyo liyenza ibe nemihlali intliziyo.’ Ukuziqinisa kusenokuyenza ingapheli msinya intlungu okuyo. Kwelinye icala, ukuphalaza imbilini yakho kumntu omthembayo kuya kuvula amathuba okuba ufumane ‘amazwi alungileyo’ xa ukhathazekile. Ngoko khawuzame abe mbalwa kula macebiso alandelayo.
Thetha nomzali wakho osaphilayo. Nangona eli ilixesha elinzima kumzali wakho osaphilayo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo usafuna ukukunceda. Ngoko mchazele indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Ukuncokola ngezi zinto kuya kunithuthuzela kuze kunimanyanise.
Nantsi enye indlela onokuyiqalisa ngayo incoko: Bhala phantsi izinto ezimbini okanye ezintathu obungathanda ukuzazi ngomzali wakho oswelekileyo, uze ucele ukuthetha ngenye yazo kunye nomzali wakho osaphilayo.e
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Thetha nabahlobo osondeleyo kubo. IBhayibhile ithi umhlobo wokwenene ‘uzalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.’ (IMIzekeliso 17:17) UAlicia uthi, “Usenokuncedwa ngumntu obungamlindelanga, ngoko musa ukoyika ukuthetha ngentlungu okuyo.” Enyanisweni, kusenokungabi lula ukuncokola ngayo, njengoko wena nomhlobo wakho nisenokungazi ukuba niqale ngaphi. Sekunjalo, kuya kukunceda ekugqibeleni ukuxelela abanye ngentlungu okuyo. UDavid, owayeneminyaka esithoba kuphela xa uyise wabulawa kukuhlaselwa yintliziyo, uthi: “Ndaziqinisa. Ngendandincedakele ukuba ndandiyiphalazile imbilini yam. Ndandingayi kuba buhlungu ngendlela endaba buhlungu ngayo.”
Thetha noThixo. Mhlawumbi uya kuziva bhetele emva kokuba ‘uphalaze intliziyo yakho’ kuYehova uThixo ngomthandazo. (INdumiso 62:8) Le asiyondlela nje yokukwenza uzive bhetele. Xa uthandaza, ubongoza “uThixo wentuthuzelo yonke, osithuthuzelayo kuyo yonke imbandezelo yethu.”—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.
UThixo usithuthuzela nangomoya wakhe oyingcwele. Umoya wakhe oyingcwele unokukunika “amandla angaphaya koko kuqhelekileyo,” ukuze unyamezele intlungu okuyo. (2 Korinte 4:7) UThixo ‘usithuthuzela nangeZibhalo.’ (Roma 15:4) Ngoko mcele uThixo ukuba akunike umoya wakhe, uze ufunde iZibhalo ezikhuthazayo ezikwiLizwi lakhe. (2 Tesalonika 2:16, 17) Ungazenzela noludwe lweZibhalo ezikuthuthuzelayo.f
Ngaba Le Ntlungu Iya Kuze Iphele?
Akulali ubusuku obunye uvuke intlungu iphelile. UBrianne, owaswelekelwa ngunina eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala uthi: “Asiyonto unokusuka nje uyicime. Ngezinye iintsuku ndilala ngeenyembezi. Maxa wambi ndikhe ndizame ukucinga ngethemba uYehova asibekele lona noMama eParadesi, kungekhona ngokusweleka kwakhe.”
IBhayibhile isiqinisekisa ukuba kule Paradesi athetha ngayo uBrianne, ‘ukufa akusayi kubakho, kungabi sabakho kuzila nakukhala nantlungu kwakhona.’ (ISityhilelo 21:3, 4) Nawe usenokufumanisa ukuba ukucamngca ngezi zithembiso kuya kukunceda unyamezele ukuswelekelwa ngumzali.
Amanye amanqaku athi “Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula “ ayafumaneka kwiWeb site ethi www.watchtower.org/ype
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Amagama akweli nqaku atshintshiwe.
b Ukuba kusenzima ukuyiphendula le mibuzo, usenokuphinda uyiphendule ngelinye ixesha.
c Ungaze uvakalelwe kukuba unyanzelekile ukuba ulile ukuze abantu babone ukuba ubuhlungu. Intlungu ibafumana ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo abantu. Into ebalulekileyo nantsi: Ukuba iinyembezi ziyehla, qonda ukuba elo ‘lixesha lokulila.’—INtshumayeli 3:4.
d Ukuba iingcinga ezilolu hlobo ziyaqhubeka zikukhathaza, thetha nomzali wakho osaphilayo okanye omnye umntu oqolileyo. Ethubeni, uya kulungelelana ngakumbi.
e Ukuba ukhuliswe ngumzali omnye, okanye ngenxa yeemeko akubonani rhoqo nomzali wakho osaphilayo, usenokuthetha nomntu oqolileyo.
f Abanye baye bathuthuzelwa zezi zibhalo zilandelayo: INdumiso 34:18; 102:17; 147:3; Isaya 25:8; Yohane 5:28, 29.
CINGA NGOKU
◼ Ngawaphi amacebiso akweli nqaku oza kuwasebenzisa? ․․․․․
◼ Apha ngezantsi, bhala izibhalo ezimbalwa eziya kukuthuthuzela xa usoyiswa ziintlungu. ․․․․․
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 11]
LILA . . . NABO BALILA!
UAbraham—Genesis 23:2.
UYosefu—Genesis 50:1.
UDavide—2 Samuweli 1:11, 12; 18:33.
UMariya, udadeboLazaro—Yohane 11:32, 33.
UYesu—Yohane 11:35.
UMariya Magadala—Yohane 20:11..
[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]
YIBHALE PHANTSI INDLELA OVAKALELWA NGAYO
Ukuzibhala phantsi izinto ezicingayo ngomzali wakho oswelekileyo kunganceda gqitha ukuze uhlangabezane nentlungu okuyo. Zininzi zinto onokubhala ngazo. Nanga amacebiso amabalwa.
◼ Yenza ulundwe lwezinto ezintle ozikhumbulayo ngomzali wakho.
◼ Bhala phantsi izinto owawungathanda ukumxelela zona ngoxa wayesaphila
◼ Khawuzibone unomntakwenu okanye udadewenu omncinane ozibek’ ityala ngokusweleka komzali wenu. Wabhale phantsi amazwi obuya kumthuthuzela ngawo. Oku kuya kunceda naw uyeke ukuzibk’ ityala
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 13]
KUMZALI OSAPHILAYO
Kubuhlungu ukufelwa liqabane. Sekunjalo, le nto yenzeka kanye xa kufuneka uncede umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo. Unokumnceda njani ahlangabezane nale ntlungu, ngoxa nawe ubuhlungu?
Musa ukuziqinisa. Izinto ezininzi azaziyo umntwana wakho ngobomi uzibone kuwe. Uya kuyifunda ngolo hlobo nendlela yokujamelana nentlungu yokufelwa. Ngoko ungaze uvakalelwe kukuba umele uziqinise uze umfihlele umntwana wakho ukuba ubuhlungu. Oku kuya kwenza ukuba azifihle naye. Kodwa xa uyibonakalisa intlungu okuyo, umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukungaziqinisi aze abone ukuba kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu, ukudana kwanokuba nomsindo.
Mkhuthaze umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ukuba athethe. Mkhuthaze ukuba akhuphe imbilini yakhe, kodwa ungamnyanzeli. Ukuba yena akakhululeki ukuthetha, unokuxubusha eli nqaku kunye naye. Kwakhona, mbalisele ngezinto ezintle olikhumbula ngazo iqabane lakho. Yivume into yokuba akuzi kuba lula ngaphandle kwalo. Xa uphalaza imbilini yakho, uya kumnceda umntwana wakho enze okufanayo.
Zazi iintsilelo zakho. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, ngalo lonke eli xesha linzima, ufuna ukumxhasa umntwana wakho. Kodwa ukhumbule ukuba nawe uxhelekile kukuswelekelwa liqabane lakho olithandayo. Ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba wonganyelwe kukudimazeka yaye uphelelwe ngamandla. (IMizekeliso 24:10) Ngoko ke, usenokucela uncedo kwizalamane nakubahlobo bakho abaqolileyo. Kububulumko ukucela uncedo. IMizekeliso 11:2 ithi: “Bunabathozamileyo ubulumko.”
Oyena mntu unokusinceda nguYehova uThixo, obathembisa oku abo bamnqulayo: “Mna, Yehova uThixo wakho, ndibamba isandla sakho sasekunene, ndithi kuwe, ‘Musa ukoyika. Mna ngokwam ndiza kukunceda.’”—Isaya 41:13.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 11]
Intlungu inokukuqubula kanye njengamaza olwandle