Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza

Kutheni Sisoloko Sixambulisana Nje?

URachel ubangela impikiswano ekhoyo ngeendlela ezintathu. Ngaba uyazibona ezi ndlela? Zibhale phantsi iimpendulo zakho uze ukhangele ezo zikwibhokisi ethi “Iimpendulo” esekupheleni kweli nqaku.

Kusebusuku ngoLwesithathu. URachel, oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala, sele egqibile ukwenza imisetyenzana yasekhaya yaye ufuna ukuphumla! Uvula umabonwakude aze aziphose kwesona situlo asithandayo.

Kusenjalo kuthi gqi unina emnyango engatyhilekanga kwaphela. “Rachel! Kutheni uchith’ ixesha ngokubukela umabonwakude kodwa ubumel’ ukuba uncedisa udadewenu ngomsebenzi wasekhaya? Soz’ ukhe wenze le nto uyixelelwayo!”

“Uyawaza kuthetha kwakhona,” uRachel umbombozela ekhwaza ukuze avakale.

Unina uyasondela. “Uthi kutheni?”

“Khange ndithethe nto mna Mama,” utsho uRachel ephefumlela phezulu ebhedulula namehlo.

Ngoku sele evutha ngumsindo uNina. “Ungakh’ ulinge uthethe nam ngolo hlobo!” utsho njalo.

“Kuthekani ngendlela wena othetha ngayo nam?” uRachel uphendula ngelitshoyo.

Ixesha lokuphumla liphelile . . . Kuqala enye impikiswano.

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NGABA uqhelene noko kwenzeka apha ngasentla? Ngaba usoloko uphikisana nabazali bakho? Ukuba kunjalo, umele ukhe uziphe ithuba lokuyihlolisisa le meko. Ziintoni ezona zinto zidla ngokunixabanisa? Faka uphawu kwibhokisi ebhekisa kwimeko yakho okanye uzibhalele enye into engachazwanga apha kwibhokisi ethi “Enye into.”

◯ Isimilo

◯ Imisebenzi yasekhaya

◯ Isinxibo

◯ Ixesha lokubuya

◯ Ukuzonwabisa

◯ Abahlobo

◯ Abantu besini esahlukileyo

◯ Enye into ․․․․․

Enoba nixambulisana ngantoni na, wena nabazali bakho nisala nixinezelekile. Kambe ke, unokusuka uqubude wenze ngathi uyavumelana nayo yonke into ethethwa ngabazali bakho. Kodwa ngaba uThixo ulindele ukuba wenjenjalo? Akunjalo? Eneneni iBhayibhile ithi umele ‘ubeke uyihlo nonyoko.’ (Efese 6:2, 3) Kodwa iphinda ikukhuthaze ukuba umele uhlakulele ‘amandla okucinga’ uze uwasebenzise ‘amandla akho engqiqo.’ (IMizekeliso 1:1-4; Roma 12:1) Xa usenjenjalo, iyazenzekela into yokuba ube nendlela yakho yokucinga, esenokuba ayifani kwaphela naleyo yabazali bakho. Kodwa ke, kwiintsapho ezisebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile, abazali banokukwazi ukuncokola kamnandi nabantwana babo—enoba abavumelani ngezinto ezithile.—Kolose 3:13.

Inokwenzeka njani into yokuba uncokole kodwa ungalwi namntu? Kulula ukuthi: “Loo nto ke ixhomekeke kubazali bam? Ngapha koko ngabo abasoloko bendixelela yonke into emandiyenze!” Kodwa khawukhe ucinge: Lingakanani igunya onalo kwabanye abantu kuquka abazali bakho? Eneneni oyena mntu unokumtshintsha nguwe. Yaye iindaba ezimnandi zezi, ukuba wenza unako nako wokugcina umoya omhle phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho, bona basenokuhlala bezolile baze bakuphulaphule xa unento ofuna ukuyithetha.

Ngoko ke, makhe sibone oko wena unokukwenza ukuze uphelise ukuxambulisana. Sebenzisa la macebiso alandeleyo yaye unokubothusa abazali bakho—nawe—ngendlela entsha othetha ngayo.

(Icebiso: Faka uphawu kweyona nto omele usebenzele kuyo.)

◯ Cinga phambi kokuba uphendule. IBhayibhile ithi: “Umntu olilungisa uyacinga phambi kokuba aphendule.” (IMizekeliso 15:28, IBhayibhile YesiXhosa Yowe-1996) Musa ukuthetha nantoni na efike kuqala engqondweni yakho xa usiva ngathi uyonganyelwa. Ngokomzekelo, mhlawumbi umama wakho uthi: “Kutheni ungazihlambanga izitya? Soz’ ukhe wenze le nto uyixelelwayo! Impendulo engacingisiswanga inokuba yile, “Kutheni umele undixelele yonke into nje?” Kodwa wasebenzise amandla akho okucinga. Zama ukusicingela isizathu sokuba umama wakho athethe la mazwi. Ngokuqhelekileyo amabinzana afana nathi “usoloko” nelithi “soze” akamele athatyathwe ngokoqobo. Kodwa ke, abonisa indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Inokuba yiyiphi loo ndlela?

Mhlawumbi umama wakho ukhathazekile yaye uvakalelwa ngathi umsebenzi awenzayo ekhaya mninzi gqitha kunokuba bekumele. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba eyona nto ayifunayo kukumenza aqiniseke ukuba uyamcingela. Okanye, eneneni waziwa ngokungafuni ukusebenza. Nokuba yintoni eyenzekileyo, ukuthi, “Kutheni umele undixelele yonke into nje?” akusayi kukunceda nganto—ngaphandle kokusuka nje kuqalise impikiswano! Kunoko thetha ngembeko nomama wakho. Ngokomzekelo, unokuthi: “Ndicel’ uxolo Mama ngokukukhathaza. Ewe mama ndiza kuzihlamba ngoku izitya.” Ulumkele ukuwathetha ngempoxo la mazwi. Ukuphendula ngovelwano kunokuwuthomalalisa umoya okhoyo phakathi kwenu.

Apha ngezantsi, bhala into enokuthethwa ngutata okanye ngumama wakho enokukucaphukisa, ukuba uyayivumela.

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Emva koko cinga ngempendulo enokubonisa ukuba uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba athethe ngolo hlobo.

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◯ Thetha ngentlonelo. UMichelle uye wafunda ukubaluleka kwendlela athetha ngayo nonina. Uthi: “Enoba yintoni ingxaki, eyona nto angayithandiyo uMama yindlela endithetha ngayo.” Ukuba nawe udla ngokwenza loo nto, funda ukuthetha kakuhle, uze uyeke ukujama okanye wenze nantoni na ebonisa ukuba ukruqukile. (IMizekeliso 30:17) Ukuba uyeva ukuba uchwechwelwa ngumsindo yenza umthandazo omfutshane ngaphakathi. (Nehemiya 2:4) Eneneni, eyona njongo asikokucel’ uThixo ukuba ‘akothule abazali bakho emagxeni’ kodwa ufuna ukuba ukwazi ukuzibamba ukuze ungaphemb’ umlilo.—Yakobi 1:26.

Kwisikhewu esingezantsi bhala amazwi okanye izimbo zomzimba ekuya kuba kuhle ukuba uziphephe.

Izinto ozithethayo:

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Izimbo zomzimba nembonakalo yobuso:

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◯ Phulaphula. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ebuninzini bamazwi akusweleki kunxaxha.” (IMizekeliso 10:19) Ngoko umele uqiniseke ukuba abazali bakho ubanika ithuba elaneleyo lokuthetha uze ubaphulaphule kakuhle xa bethetha. Wucime umculo, uyibeke ecaleni incwadi okanye iphephancwadi oliphetheyo uze ubajonge ngoxa bethetha nawe. Musa ukubaphazamisa kuba ufuna ukuzithethelela. Phulaphula nje wena. Kuya kuthi ke emva kokuba begqibile ukuthetha, kube kukhona ufumana ithuba elaneleyo lokubuza okanye uchaze eyakho imbono. Kwelinye icala, ukuba unenkani uze ukhawuleze unyanzelise eyakho imbono, onokuzenza mbi izinto. Enoba unezinto ezininzi kangakanani na onokuzithetha, mhlawumbi ngoku ‘lixesha lokuthi cwaka.’—INtshumayeli 3:7.

◯ Kulungele ukucela uxolo. Kusoloko kukuhle ukuthi “Ndicela uxolo” ngayo nantoni na endiyenzileyo ebangele ukuba singavisisani. (Roma 14:19) Usenokucela uxolo nangenxa yokuba kukho ukungavisisani. Ukuba kunzima ukwenza oku nijongene, zama ukumbhalela. Ngoku ‘hamba naye enye imayile’ ngokutshintsha nantoni na obuyenzile ebangele ukuba ningavisisani. (Mateyu 5:41) Ngokomzekelo, ukuba niye naxambulisana ngenxa yokuba ungayenzanga imisetyenzana yasekhaya, bothuse abazali bakho ngokuthi uyenze loo misetyenzana. Nokuba akuthandi ukuwenza loo msebenzi, ngaba bekungayi kubabhetele ukuwenza kunokuba ubone indlela abavakalelwa ngayo abazali bakho xa ungawenzanga?—Mateyu 21:28-31.

Ekugqibeleni, ukuzama ukucombulula okanye ukuphepha ukuxambulisana kuya kukwenzela lula izinto. Enyanisweni, iBhayibhile ithi umntu “onobubele bothando uqhubana ngokunomvuzo nomphefumlo wakhe.” (IMizekeliso 11:17) Cinga ngoko uya kukuzuza ngokwenza unako nako wokuphelisa ukungavisisani phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho.

Iintsapho eziphumelelayo zikhe zibe nazo iingxabano kodwa ziyayazi indlela yokuziphelisa ngomoya ozolileyo. Qhelisela amacebiso aboniswe kweli nqaku yaye uya kufumanisa ukuba unokuncokola nangayo nantoni na nabazali bakho—ngaphandle kokuxambulisana!

Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” afumaneka kwiWeb site ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

OKO UMELE UCINGE NGAKO

● Kutheni iintanga zakho zisoloko ziqhayisa ngokwazi ukubaphikisa abanye abantu?

● Kutheni uYehova esithi zizidenge abantu abasoloko bephikisa abanye?—IMizekeliso 20:3.

[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 27]

OKO KUTHETHWA LOLUNYE ULUTSHA

“Kwakumele ndiyazi into yokuba nangona ndisebenza kwaye ndizixhasa ngokwasezimalini, ndisahlala nomama yaye ndimele ndimphulaphule. Uye wandinyamekela iminyaka emininzi, ngoko ke ndimele ndiyiqonde loo nto xa endibuza ngezinto ezininzi—mhlawumbi ngexesha lokubuya.”

“Xa kukho into esingavisisani ngayo nabazali bam, siye sithandaze, sifune inkcazelo ethetha ngayo size siyixubushe. Kusoloko kubakho imvisiswano xa sisenjenjalo. Xa sibandakanya uYehova izinto zisoloko ziphumelela.”

[Imifanekiso]

UDaniel

UCameron

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 29]

lIMPENDULO

1. Ukuphoxisa (“Uyawaza kuthetha kwakhona”) kumcaphukise nangakumbi uMama.

2. Ukutshintsha ubuso (ukubhedulula amehlo) kumfake enkathazweni uRachel.

3. Ukuphendula (“Kuthekani ngendlela wena othetha ngayo nam?”) akusi ndawo.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 29]

UMYALEZO OYA KUBAZALI

Funda umzekelo osekuqaleni kweli nqaku. Ngaba uyaziphawula izinto ezenziwe ngumama kaRachel ezibangele impikiswano? Unokuphepha njani ukuxambulisana nomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo? Nazi izinto omele uzikhumbule:

Kuphephe ukuthetha amazwi angqwabalala afana nathi, “Wasoloko . . . ” Okanye athi “Soz’ ukhe . . . ” Amazwi anjalo enza umntu afune ukuzithethelela. Ngapha koko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyazibax’ izinto yaye umntwana wakho uyayazi loo nto. Umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba uthetha ngolo hlobo ngenxa yokuba unomsindo kungekhona ngenxa yokuba engayenzanga into ebekufanele ukuba uyenzile.

Endaweni yokuthetha rhabaxa uthi “wena,” zama ukuchaza indlela ekuchaphazela ngayo into eyenziwe ngumntwana wakho. Ngokomzekelo unokuthi, “Xa u. . . , ndivakalelwa ngathi . . . . ” Enokuba uyayikholelwa okanye akuyikholelwa, indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ibalulekile kumntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo. Xa umchazela ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo, aba maninzi amathuba okuba asebenzisane nawe.

Noba kunzima kangakanani na, zibambe de uthothe umsindo. (IMizekeliso 10:19) Ukuba nixatyaniswa yimisetyenzana ebekufanele ukuba uyenzile, thetha naye. Bhala phantsi eyona nto ulindele ukuba ayenze yaye xa kuyimfuneko umele umchazele imiphumo yokusilela ukwenza oko kulindelekileyo kuye. Luphulaphule ngomonde uluvo lomntwana wakho nokuba uvakalelwa kukuba kufuneka umlungise. Abantwana abaninzi basabela bhetele xa ubaphulaphula kunokuba kunjalo xa ubangxolisa.

Phambi kokuba ukhawuleze uthi umoya wemvukelo weli hlabathi ulawula umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo, yazi ukuba le nto uyibonayo ibangelwa kukuba ekhula. Umntwana usenokuphikisa kuba nje efuna ukubonisa ukuba uyakhula. Yiphephe into yokufuna ukuxambulisana naye. Khumbula ukuba umntwana wakho uyafunda kwindlela osabela ngayo xa ucaphukile. Yiba nomonde, uzeke kade umsindo yaye ngaloo ndlela uya kuba ummisela umzekelo omhle umntwana wakho.—Galati 5:22, 23.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 28]

Ukuxambulisana nabazali bakho kufana nokuxhentsa ndaweni nye—uphelelwa ngamandla kube kungakusi ndawo