Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza

Ndinokuvana Njani Nabantwana Basekhaya?

Ubunokuthi lunjani ulwalamano lwakho nabantwana bakowenu?

․․․․․ Singabona bahlobo basenyongweni

․․․․․ Kumaxesha amaninzi siyavana

․․․․․ Siyanyamezelana

․․․․․ Ngalo lonke ixesha siyalwa

ABANYE abantu abazalwa kunye bayavana. Ngokomzekelo, uFelicia oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala uthi, “Udadewethu oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala, uIrena, ngomnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni.”a UCarly, oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi ngomntakwabo uEric oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala: “Sivana gqitha. Asikhe sixabane.”

Kwelinye icala, abanye bafana noLauren noMarla. “Silwa ngento yonke.” ULauren uthi: “Akukhathaliseki enoba kungenxa yento engenamsebenzi.” Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa ngendlela uAlice, oneminyaka eli-12 ubudala avakalelwa ngayo ngomntakwabo uDennis oneminyaka eli-14 ubudala: “Uyandikruqula. Usuke athi dyulukudu nje egumbini lam athathe izinto engazicelanga. Wenza izinto okomntwana.”

Ngaba kukho umntwana wakowenu okukruqulayo? Kakade ke, abazali bakho banembopheleko yokugcina intsapho imanyene. Sekunjalo, kungekudala kuza kufuneka uzifundise ukuvana nabanye. Oko unokukwenza ngoku usahlala ekhaya.

Cinga ngeengxabano eniye nanazo nabanakwenu noodadewenu. Zintoni eniye naxabana ngazo? Khangela kwezi zinto zidweliswe ngezantsi, uze ufake olu phawu ✔ kwiibhokisi ezifanelekileyo okanye ubhale izinto ezikucaphukisa kakhulu.

□ Izinto zakho. Umntwana wasekhaya uthatha izinto zam engazicelanga.

□ Ukungavisisani. Umntwana wasekhaya akabacingeli abanye abantu, wenza engacinganga okanye uzama ukundilawula.

□ Akandiniki inkululeko yam. Umntwana wasekhaya usuka athi dyulukudu egumbini lam, afunda iie-mail zam okanye imiyalezo endiyithunyelelweyo engacelanga.

□ Ezinye. ․․․․․

Ukuba umntwana wakowenu usoloko ekucaphukisa—ezenza induna yakho okanye akakuniki inkululeko yakho—usenokumzonda. Kodwa umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Ukucudisa impumlo kuvelisa igazi, yaye ukucudisa umsindo kuvelisa ingxabano.” (IMizekeliso 30:33) Ukuba unenzondo, usenokugqajukelwa ngumsindo, kanye njengokuba ukucudisa impumlo kuvelisa igazi. Oko kuya kubangela ukuba loo ngxaki ingapheli. (IMizekeliso 26:21) Unokuyithintela njani into ekucaphukisayo ukuba ivelise ingxabano? Inyathelo lokuqala kukwazi ukuba yintoni kanye kanye ingxaki.

Yintoni Eyona Ngxaki?

Iingxaki zabantu abazalwa kunye zifana namaqhakuva. Indlela elibonakala ngayo iqhakuva ayithandeki, kodwa into elibangelayo yintsholongwane. Ngokufanayo, ukho unobangela wengxabano yabantu abazalwa kunye.

Unokulinyanga iqhakuva ngokulicudisa. Oko akuphelisi unobangela, kodwa unokushiya ibala okanye ubangele ukuba loo ntsholongwane ihambele phambili. Eyona nto ibhetele onokuyenza kukunyanga intsholongwane ukuze amaqhakuva angabi maninzi. Kuyafana ke nangeengxabano zakho nabantwana bakowenu. Zama ukwazi unobangela. Xa umazi unobangela niya kuzama ukucombulula loo ngxaki. Kwakhona uza kukwazi ukusebenzisa isilumkiso sikaKumkani uSolomon owayesisilumko esithi: “Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo.”—IMizekeliso 19:11.

Ngokomzekelo, uAlice, okhankanywe ngasentla wathi ngomntakwabo uDennis, “Usuke athi dyulukudu nje egumbini lam athathe izinto engazicelanga.” Le yeyona nto ibaxabanisayo. Kodwa, ucinga ukuba yintoni eyona ngxaki? Kukungahloniphi.b

UAlice unokuyiphelisa le ngxabano ngokuxelela uDennis ukuba angaphindi angene egumbini lakhe okanye asebenzise izinto zakhe. Loo nto inokuyiphelisa ingxabano kodwa inokuphumela kwengakumbi. Xa uAlice enokumenza uDennis aqonde ukuba ufanele ahlonele inkululeko yakhe nezinto zakhe, alithandabuzeki elokuba baya kuvana.

Zama Ukucombulula Okanye Ukuphepha Iingxabano

Kakade ke, ingxaki awunakuyicombulula ngokwazi nje unobangela wayo. Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uyicombulule nokuze uphephe ezinye iingxabano? Zama ezi ndlela zintandathu zilandelayo.

1. Vumelanani ngezinto ezithile. UKumkani uSolomon wabhala: “Amacebo ayatshitsha apho kungekho gqugula.” (IMizekeliso 15:22) Ukuze ungacaphuki, cinga ngengxaki oye wayiphawula phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakowenu. Vumelanani ngento eniza kuyenza ukuze nicombulule loo ngxaki. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba nixatyaniswa kukusebenzisa kwakhe izinto zakho, nanku umthetho 1 onokuwumisela: “Cela ngaphambi kokuba uthathe nantoni na engeyoyakho.” Umthetho 2: “Yazi into yokuba umntwana wakowenu unelungelo lokuthi, ‘Hayi’ xa engafuni ukuba uyisebenzise into yakhe.” Xa umisela le mithetho, cinga ngomyalelo kaYesu othi: “Zonke izinto, ngoko, enifuna abantu bazenze kuni, yenzani ngokunjalo nani kubo.” (Mateyu 7:12) Ngaloo ndlela uya kuba umisela imithetho enimele niphile ngayo. Emva koko xubusha nabazali bakho ngaloo nto nivumelene ngayo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba nabo bayavumelana nayo.—Efese 6:1.

2. Nawe yithobele loo mithetho. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ngaba, noko ke, wena ufundisa uthile ongomnye, akuzifundisi na wena? Wena, ushumayela usithi ‘Uze ungebi,’ ngaba uyeba na?” (Roma 2:21) Unokuwusebenzisa njani lo mgaqo? Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ufuna umntwana wakowenu ahlonele inkululeko yakho, nawe umele unkqonkqoze egumbini lakhe ngaphambi kokuba ungene, okanye ucele ngaphambi kokuba ufunde iie-mail okanye imiyalezo yakhe.

3. Ungakhathazeki msinya. Kutheni ilicebiso elihle nje eli? Kuba omnye umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi, “ukucaphuka kuhlala esifubeni sabaziziyatha.” (INtshumayeli 7:9) Ukuba ukhathazeka msinya, awuyi konwaba ebomini. Abantwana bakowenu baya kwenza okanye bathethe izinto ezikucaphukisayo. Kodwa zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndikhe ndenza okufanayo kubo kwixa elidluleyo?’ (Mateyu 7:1-5) UJenny uthi: “Xa ndandineminyaka eli-13 ubudala, ndandicinga ukuba imbono yam yeyona ibalulekileyo yaye imele iviwe. Ngoku nodadewethu omncinane unjalo. Ngoko ndiyazama ukuba ndingacatshukiswa zizinto azithethayo.”

4. Xolela uze ulibale. Iingxaki ezinkulu kufuneka kuthethwe ngazo zize ziconjululwe. Kodwa ngaba umele umthethise umntwana wakowenu ngayo yonke impazamo ayenzayo? UYehova uThixo uyayithanda into yokuba ukulungele “ukukubetha ngoyaba ukunxaxha.” (IMizekeliso 19:11) UAlison, oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala uthi: “Mna nodadewethu uRachel sidla ngokuzicombulula iingxaki zethu. Sobabini siyakhawuleza ukucela uxolo size sithethe ngento esicinga ukuba ibibangela ukungavisisani. Maxa wambi andikhawulezi ukuthetha ngayo. Ngokufuthi, ndiye ndivuke sele ndiyilibele yonke loo nto, kuze kungabikho mfuneko yakuthetha ngayo.”

5. Vumela abazali bakho balamle. Ukuba wena nomntwana wakowenu anikwazi ukucombulula ingxaki ebalulekileyo, abazali benu banokuninceda nixolelane. (Roma 14:19) Khumbula ukuba, xa ukwazi ukulungisa ingxabano ngaphandle kokuya kubazali, oko kuthetha ukuba uqolile.

6. Zixabise iimpawu ezintle abanazo abantwana bakowenu. Mhlawumbi abantwana bakowenu baneempawu ezithile ozithandayo. Bhala into nganye oyithandayo kubo.

Igama Into endiyithandayo

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Kunokuba usoloko ucinga ngeempazamo zabantwana bakowenu, kutheni ungaziphi ixesha lokubaxelela ngezinto ozithandayo kubo?—INdumiso 130:3; IMizekeliso 15:23.

Inyaniso esingenakuyiphepha ebomini: Xa uhamba ekhaya, maxa wambi uya kudibana nabantu abakucaphukisayo—osebenza nabo nabanye abakrwada, abangakhathaliyo nabacingela iziqu zabo. Ikhaya yindawo yokufunda indlela onokuqhubana ngoxolo ngayo nabantu abanjalo. Ukuba kunzima ukuvana nomntwana wakowenu, musa ukukhathazeka, kuba uyakunceda ukuba ube nobuchule bokuhlangabezana neengxaki ebomini.

IBhayibhile iyatsho ukuba umntwana wakowenu usenokungabi ngoyena mhlobo osenyongweni kuwe. (IMizekeliso 18:24) Kodwa usenokubomeleza ubuhlobo benu ukuba ‘niqhubeka ninyamezelana,’ naxa ‘unesizathu sokukhalaza.’ (Kolose 3:13) Ukuba uyakwenza oko, abantwana bakowenu abayi kukucaphukisa. Nawe usenokungabacaphukisi.

Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu AbaseIula Bayabuza” afumaneka kwiWeb site ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

OKO UMELE UCINGE NGAKO

● Kutheni kubalulekile ukwazi eyona ngxaki kwiingxabano zenu?

● Yiyiphi eyona nto kufuneka usebenzele kuyo kwezi zintandathu zingasentla?

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 27]

UKWAZI EYONA NGXAKI

Ngaba uyafuna ukuphucula ubuchule bendlela yokwazi eyona ngxaki yokungavani kwabantwana abazalwa kunye? Ukuba kunjalo, funda umzekeliso kaYesu wonyana owashiya ikhaya waza wadlala ngelifa lakhe.—Luka 15:11-32.

Qwalasela into eyenziwa ngunyana omdala xa umninawa wakhe wabuyela ekhaya. Emva koko phendula le mibuzo ilandelayo.

Yintoni eyabangela ukuba umkhuluwa enze oku?

Ucinga ukuba yayiyintoni eyona ngxaki?

UYise wazama njani ukuyicombulula?

Yintoni ekwafuneka yenziwe ngumkhuluwa ukuze akwazi ukuyicombulula?

Ngoku khawucinge ngengxabano enisandul’ ukuba nayo nomntwana wakowenu. Emva koko bhala iimpendulo ecaleni kwale mibuzo ilandelayo.

Yintoni ebangele le ngxabano?

Ucinga ukuba ibiyintoni eyona ngxaki?

Yiyiphi imithetho eninokuvumelana kuyo ukuze niyicombulule nize ningaphindi nixabane?

[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 28, 29]

OKO KUTHETHWA LOLUNYE ULUTSHA

“Ndifuna ukuba ngumhlobo woodadewethu ubomi bam bonke, ngoko ndimele ndiqale ngoku.”

“Senza izinto kunye njengentsapho, yaye oku kusenza simanyane. Asisaxabani njengakuqala.”

“Ngandlela ithile sahluke njengobusuku nemini. Sekunjalo, akakho ofana nodadewethu. Ndimthanda kakhulu.”

“Ngaphandle kwabantwana basekhaya, zonke iinkumbulo ezimnandi beziya kumka nomoya. Kwabo banabantakwabo noodadewabo, ndithi, ‘Baxabise!’”

[Imifanekiso]

UTia

UBianca

USamantha

UMarilyn

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 27]

Iingxaki zabantu abazalwa kunye zifana namaqhakuva—ukuze uzicombulule kufuneka ulungise oyena nobangela