Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nokulindela Kwabantu Ukuba Ndifane Nabantwana Basekhaya?

“Ndandifuna ukuziphilela ubomi bam, kodwa ndandisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba, kwakufuneka ndifane noodadewethu. Ndazixelela ukuba andinakuze ndikwazi ukuzifikelela izinto abazifezayo.”—UClare.

NGABA unomntakwenu okanye udadewenu owenza yonke into ngendlela esemagqabini? Ngaba abazali bakho bahlalele ukukuxelela ukuba umele ufane naye? Ukuba kunjalo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba eyona nto uyoyikelayo lulindelo lokuba usoloko usenza izinto njengaye—ngamany’ amazwi ukuze ube ngumntu kufuneka wenze izinto kanye njengomntwana wakowenu.

Abakhuluwa bakaBarrya baphumelele kwiSikolo Sokuqeqesha Abalungiselelib esihlonelwa kakhulu yaye bangamaKristu adume kakuhle. UBarry uthi: “Ndaphelelwa kukuzithemba ekubeni ndandizixelele ukuba andisayi kuze ndifike kumgangatho wabo wokushumayela yaye ndingenakuze ndibe sisithethi sasesidlangalaleni esiphum’ izandla njengabo. Kwakunzima gqitha ukuzenzela abahlobo kuba ndandisoloko ndithene nca nabantakwethu xa bemenyiwe. Ndandivakalelwa kukuba abantu baba ngabahlobo bam ngenxa nje yabakhuluwa bam.”

Kunzima ukungabi namona xa kukho umntwana wakowenu osoloko ephakanyiswa. Ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile uYosefu oselula wayahlukile kubantakwabo. Basabela njani bona abantakwabo? “Bamthiya, baza ababa sathetha ngoxolo naye.” (Genesis 37:1-4) Kodwa ke yena uYosefu wayethobekile. Mhlawumbi lo mntwana wakowenu unokukuvusela ingqumbo ngokusoloko ekuxelela ngezinto aye wazifeza.

Le nto idla ngokwenza olunye ulutsha luvukele—mhlawumbi ngabom lufumane amanqaku aphantsi esikolweni, lungabi nasabelo kangako kwimisebenzi yamaKristu okanye lwenze izinto ezishiy’ abantu bebamb’ ongezantsi. Lusenokucinga ukuba kuyinkcitha-xesha ukwenza izinto njengabantwana bakowalo kuba alusokuze lukwazi ukwenjenjalo. Kodwa imvukelo ikufaka enkathazweni ekuhambeni kwexesha. Unokuhlangabezana njani nolindelo lokuba ufane nabantwana bakowenu uze kwangaxeshanye uqhubeke uzihlonela?

Bangabantu Nabo

Xa ubona ingqalelo efunyanwa ngumntwana wakowenu, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba ufezekile yaye akunakuze nanini na ufane naye. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo ngokwenene? IBhayibhile ithetha phandle xa isithi: “Bonke bonile baza basilela kuzuko lukaThixo.”—Roma 3:23.

Ewe, enoba abantwana bakowenu banabuphi ubuchule okanye iziphiwo, ‘bangabantu abanobulwelwe obufanayo’ nobethu. (IZenzo 14:15) Asikho isizathu sokubabeka ezinkwenkwezini okanye sibanqule. Mnye kuphela umntu owamisela umzekelo ogqibeleleyo nguYesu Kristu.—1 Petros 2:21.

Funda Kubo!

Kanti, zama ukukhangela oko unokukufunda kwimeko okuyo. Ngokomzekelo, khawucinge nje ngabantakwabo noodadeboYesu Kristu. (Mateyu 13:55, 56) Ngebabefunde lukhulu kumntakwabo ofezekileyo! Kodwa ke, “abantakwabo, enyanisweni, babengalubonisi ukholo kuye.” (Yohane 7:5) Mhlawumbi ikratshi nokuba nomona kwaphazamisana nokuba nokholo kwabo. Yayingabazalwana bakaYesu bokomoya—abafundi bakhe—abasamkelayo isimemo sakhe esithi: ‘Fundani kum.’ (Mateyu 11:29) Abazalwana bakaYesu bokwenyama baqala ukumxabisa emva kokuba evukile. (IZenzo 1:14) Ngelo xesha babesele beziphosanise namathuba amaninzi axabisekileyo okufunda kumntakwabo owayebalasele.

NoKayin wenza loo mpazamo. Umninawa wakhe, uAbheli wayengumkhonzi obalaseleyo kaThixo. IBhayibhile ithi ‘uYehova wambabala uAbheli nomnikelo wakhe.’ (Genesis 4:4) Noko ke, ngezizathu ezithile, uThixo “akazange ambabale uKayin nomnikelo wakhe.” UKayin ngewayebonise ukuthobeka waza wafunda kumntakwabo. Kodwa, “uKayin wavutha kakhulu ngumsindo” waza ekugqibeleni wambulala uAbheli.—Genesis 4:5-8.

Usenokungade ube nomsindo ongako ngomntwana wakowenu. Kodwa usenokuphoswa ngamathuba axabisekileyo ukuba uvumela ikratshi nomona zikuvale amehlo. Ukuba umntakwenu uphuma phambili kwizibalo, uhamba yedwa kwezembali, wazi umdlalo owuthandayo, uzazi kakuhle iZibhalo, okanye usisithethi esiphum’ izandla, musa ukummonela! Kaloku, “ikhwele likukubola emathanjeni” yaye linokukwenzakalisa. (IMizekeliso 14:30; 27:4) Kunokuba ube nengqumbo, funda kumntwana wakowenu. Yiqonde into yokuba unobuchule wena ongenabo. Hlolisisa indlela azenza ngayo izinto—okanye ucele uncedo kuye.

UBarry, esithethe ngaye ekuqaleni, wangenelwa kumzekelo omhle omiselwa ngabantakwabo. Uthi: “Ndayibona indlela ababonwabe ngayo abantakwethu ngenxa yokuthanda kwabo ukunceda abantu ebandleni nakumsebenzi wokushumayela. Ngoko ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiwulandele umzekelo wabantakwethu, yaye ndaba nenxaxheba ekwakhiweni kweeHolo zoBukumkani nasekwakhiweni kweBheteli. Amava endiwafumeneyo aye andenza ndazithemba ndaza ndasondela ngakumbi kuYehova.”

Zazi Izinto Ozenza Kakuhle

Mhlawumbi woyikela into yokuba ukuxelisa iimpawu ezintle zabantakwenu kuthetha ukuba wena uza kulahla ubuntu bakho. Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba kube njalo. Umpostile uPawulos wawakhuthaza ngolu hlobo amaKristu enkulungwane yokuqala: “Yibani ngabaxelisa mna.” (1 Korinte 4:16) Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba uPawulos wayefuna balahle ubuntu babo? Akunjalo konke konke. Unokukwazi ukuba ngumntu owahlukileyo. Into yokuba ungazi izibalo njengomntwana wakowenu, akuthethi ukuba unesiphene. Kukwahluka nje kwabantu.

UPawulos unikela eli cebiso liyingenelo: “Ngamnye makangqine oko ukuko umsebenzi wakhe, uya kwandula ke abe nesizathu sokugcoba ngaye siqu, kungekhona ngokuzithelekisa nomnye umntu.” (Galati 6:4) Kutheni ungazami ukukhulisa obakho ubuchule nesiphiwo? Ukufunda ulwimi lwasemzini, ukudlala isixhobo somculo, okanye ukusebenzisa ikhompyutha kunokukwenza uzihlonele ngakumbi kuze kukwenze ube nobuchule obunokukunceda. Musa ukuzikhathaza ngokwenza izinto ngokugqibeleleyo! Funda ukwenza izinto ngokucokisekileyo nakakuhle. (IMizekeliso 22:29) Kusenokwenzeka ukuba akunabuchule bemvelo bokwenza izinto ezithile, kodwa “isandla sabakhutheleyo siya kulawula,” itsho njalo iMizekeliso 12:24.

Noko ke, eyona nto ufanele uyizabalazele kukukhula ngokomoya. Ubuchule bokomoya bunexabiso elingapheliyo kunaso nasiphi na isiphiwo esisenokuba siyathandwa ngabantu. Cinga nje ngamawele uEsawu noYakobi. UEsawu wadunyiswa gqitha nguyise kuba “waba lizingela, indoda yasendle.” Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ekuqaleni umntakwabo uYakobi wayengathandwa kangako kuba “wayeyindoda engenakusoleka, ehlala ezintenteni.” (Genesis 25:27) Kodwa uEsawu akazange akhule ngokomoya yaye waphoswa ziintsikelelo. Kanti yena uYakobi wazithanda izinto zokomoya yaye wasikelelwa ngokuyintabalala nguYehova. (Genesis 27:28, 29; Hebhere 12:16, 17) Sifunda ntoni koku? Khula ngokomoya, ‘lukhanye ukhanyiselo lwakho’ ibe ‘ukuhambela kwakho phambili kuya kubonakala ebantwini bonke.’—Mateyu 5:16; 1 Timoti 4:15.

UClare, esithethe ngaye ngaphambilana, uthi: “Ndandanelisekile kukwenza izinto njengoodadewethu. Kodwa ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithobele icebiso leZibhalo ‘lokuphangalala’ eluthandweni. Entsimini ndandisebenza nabantu abahlukahlukeneyo basebandleni, yaye ndandikhangela iindlela zokubanceda. Kanti ndandimemela abazalwana noodade abakubudala obahlukeneyo ekhaya ndize ndibaphekele. Ngoku ndinabahlobo abaliqela yaye ndiyazithemba.”—2 Korinte 6:13.

Maxa wambi, abazali bakho basenokwenza impazamo yokukuxelela ukuba ufane nomntakwenu okanye udadewenu. Kodwa ukwazi ukuba abazali bakho baneenjongo ezintle ngawe kunokukunceda ungakhathazeki kakhulu. (IMizekeliso 19:11) Kodwa ke, bekuya kuba bubulumko ukuthi ngembeko uxelele abazali bakho indlela ovakalelwa ngayo xa uthelekiswa nabanye abantwana. Mhlawumbi baya kuzama enye indlela yokuchaza iimvakalelo zabo.

Ungaze ulibale ukuba uYehova uThixo akanakuze akulibale xa umkhonza. (1 Korinte 8:3) UBarry ushwankathela ngeIithi: “Okukhona ndikhonza uYehova, ndonwaba ngakumbi. Abantu bandijonga, baze bandithande kanye njengokuba besenjenjalo kubantakwethu.”

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]

Ngaba umntwana wakowenu ehleli nje ufumana ingqalelo?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 13]

Hlolisisa iziphiwo nezinto ozithandayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 13]

‘Malukhanye ukhanyiselo lwakho’ ngokukhula ngokomoya