Ngaba Singabahlobo Nje—Okanye Kukho Into Engaphaya? Inxalenye 2

KWINQAKU ELANDULELA ELI, sixubushe ngezibakala ezibini zobomi.

● Xa uthabatheka ungekakulungeli ukutshata, uya kwenzakala.—IMizekeliso 6:27.

● Xa uthabatheka ungekakulungeli ukutshata, ungaphulukana nobuhlobo obuhle.a—IMizekeliso 18:24.

KWELI NQAKU, siza kuxubusha

● Isibakala sesithathu esiphathelele ukuthabatheka

● Ukwazi njani ukuzibona xa sele ugabadele kubuhlobo bakho nomntu wesini esahlukileyo

ISIBAKALA: Ukuthabatheka luthando ungekawulungeli umtshato kungakuzisela igama elibi. UMiab uthi: “Ndikhe ndibabone abafana besiba ngabahlobo namantombazana amaninzi. Eyona nto bayenzayo ‘kukudlala’ ngawo. Amantombazana aye acinge ukuba loo mfana unomdla kuwo, ngoxa yena evuyiswa nje kukufumana ingqalelo yawo.”

Into omele uyicinge:

● Enoba ungumfana okanye uyintombi, ukusondelelana nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kungakuzisela njani igama elibi?

“Ukuthumelelana imiyalezo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kuyingozi enkulu. Uqala ngokuthumela imiyalezo embalwa kumntu omnye, kodwa kungekudala uthumele emininzi yaye kubantu abaninzi . Ungaqondanga, uzibhaqa sele uthandana nabafana abathathu, kwaye mfana ngamnye ucinga ukuba ‘ukhethekile’ kwaye uzama ukumazi ngcono. Xa befumanisa eyona nyaniso, baba buhlungu—uze wena ube negama elibi lokuba ngudlalani.”—ULara.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Kwangoqheliselo lwayo inkwenkwe [okanye intombazana] izenza iqondwe enoba usulungekile na yaye uthe tye na umsebenzi wayo.”—IMizekeliso 20:11.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo: Akuphosakelanga ukunxulumana nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Kodwa ukuba akuzibekeli mida, ungazifaka entlungwini, uphulukane nobuhlobo obuhle, uzenzele negama elibi.

Ungazibona njani xa sele ugabadele? Unokuzibuza oku, ‘Ngaba umhlobo wam wesini esahlukileyo sendiphalaza kuye iingxaki zam?’ Intombazana egama linguErin ithi: “Ukuba ningabahlobo nje nomfana, akamele abe ngowokuqala ocinga ngaye mihla le okanye owokuqala othi qatha xa ufuna ukuthetha ngezinto ezibalulekileyo. Akumele ibe nguye obalekela kuye xa ufuna intuthuzelo.”

Into omele uyicinge:

● Yintoni enokwenza ufune ukwenza umntu wesini esahlukileyo ibe nguye ophalaza imbilini yakho kuye? Kodwa ziziphi iingozi ezinokuziswa yiloo nto?

“Abafana endibaziyo asingobahlobo bam basondeleyo. Andikwazi kuthetha nabo iiyure ezininzi efowunini njengokuba ndisenza kumhlobo wam oyintombazana. Zikho nezinye izinto endingenakukwazi ukuzixubusha nabo.”—URianne.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Yilumkele into oyithethayo . . . Othetha nje engacingi uyazitshabalalisa.”—IMizekeliso 13:3, Good News Translation.

Into omele uyicinge: Ngaba ikho ingozi xa uchaza yonke into le ngawe kumntu wesini esahlukileyo? Kuthekani ukuba ubuhlobo benu buyaphela? Ngaba akuyi kuzisola ngezo zinto umchazele zona?

Intombazana egama linguAlexis ikushwankathela ngolu hlobo oku. Uthi: “Musa ukuphepha umntu kuba nje engowesini esahlukileyo. Kwelinye icala, sukuzixokisa uthi singabahlobo nje kube kukho into engaphaya. Yilawule indlela ovakalelwa ngayo, oko kuya kukunceda uphephe iintlungu.”

Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” afumaneka kwiWebhsayithi ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 17]

IBALI LOKWENENE: “Ndandingumhlobo nomnye umfana, kwaye sivana. Kodwa ndaphawula ukuba incoko yethu iya itsala yaye singena nakwizinto zobuqu. Ndabona ukuba sisondelelana ngakumbi, kuba wayendixelela yonke into emxhalabisayo. Ngenye imini wandithumelela ie-mail endixelela ukuba uyandithanda. Ndema nematha ndixakiwe. Kwelinye icala ayemnandi loo mazwi—kumnandi ukwazi ukuba kukho umntu okhethekileyo kuye. Kodwa ndaba nexhala. Ndandisazi ukuba asinakuqhubeka ‘singabahlobo nje’ kuba yena wayevakalelwa ukuba kukho into engaphaya. Ndandisazi ukuba xa ndimxelela ukuba sisebancinane ukuba sitshate, uza kukhathazeka. Ndaxelela abazali bam yonke into, kwaye bayigxininisa into yokuba simele sinciphise amathuba okuncokola. Ndatsho ndaqonda ukuba into entle inako ukukhawuleza ibe yingxaki. Ukususela ngoko, ndiyayilumkela indlela endinxulumana ngayo nabantu besini esahlukileyo, ngakumbi xa sithumelelana imiyalezo. Kuyanceda nokunxulumana ngokwamaqela kunokuba nizikhethe nobabini. Oko kuninceda ningakwazi ukuncokola ngemibandela yobuqu yaye akubi lula ukutsaleleka gqitha komnye.”—UElena.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 18]

KUTHENI UNGABUZI ABAZALI BAKHO?

Cela uluvo lwabazali bakho kwimibuzo emibini ethi “Into omele uyicinge” ekweli nqaku. Ngaba ababoni ngasonye nawe? Ukuba kunjalo, kutheni? Ziziphi izibakala ezisengqiqweni kuluvo lwabo?—IMizekeliso 1:8.

[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 18]

OKO KUTHETHWA LOLUNYE ULUTSHA

UAndre—Okukhona uchitha ixesha elininzi nentombazana, kokukhona zikhula iimvakalelo ibe nayo kokukhona iya kucinga ukuba unomdla wokuthandana nayo. Ukuba izinto oneenjongo zokuzenza azikuvumeli ukuba uthandane ngoku, umele ukuphephe ukuzenza ngathi ukhangela umntu wokuthandana.

UCassidy—Ndibonakala njengomntu othanda ukuncokola, yaye ekubeni ndikhule namakhwenkwe, ndiyakhululeka xa ndihleli nawo—nto leyo ingasoloko incomeka. Ukuphatha umfana ngendlela endiphatha ngayo enye intombazana akulunganga—oko kunokudlulisela ingcamango ephosakeleyo. Umfana kungcono umphathe njengomntakwenu!

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 19]

UMYALEZO OYA KUBAZALI

Kwimeko efanelekileyo, akuphosakelanga ngolutsha ukuba lunxulumane nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Kodwa abo bangekakulungeli ukuthandana ukuze batshate kufuneka bazibekele imida.c Kubo, ubuhlobo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo bumele buphelele apho—ibe bubuhlobo nje kungabikho nto engaphaya.

Kudla ngokuphumela entweni ukuthandana kwabantu ngaphambi kokuba bakulungele ukutshata? Oko kuba mnandi ekuqaleni kodwa kugqibele ngokubaxakanisa. Kufana nokuhlala emotweni engenamaviri. Akubi kudala, baqonde ukuba oko kuthandana kwabo akuyi ndawo. Abanye banokuqalisa ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo—meko leyo idla ngokukhokelela kwiingozi ezininzi. Abanye bayahlukana—nto leyo enokubashiya bevakalelwa ukuba baqhathiwe, babesentlungwini, yaye badandatheke. Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho angakhohliselwa ekubeni athandane engekakulungeli ukutshata?—INtshumayeli 11:10.

Ubulumko kukuncokola phandle nomntwana wakho ngobuhlobo nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Oko kuya kukunceda uyazi into eqhubekayo—yaye uya kukwazi ukumnceda—xa ubuhlobo bakhe buqalisa ukuba nento engaphaya.

Abanye abazali abaqondi xa bedimaza abantwana babo ukuba bathethe ngezinto eziqhubeka kubomi babo. Khawuve izinto ezithethwa lolunye ulutsha kuVukani!

“Ndandisoloko ndifuna ukumxelela umama xa kukho umfana endinomdla kuye, kodwa ndizibambe kuba ndicinga ukuba uza kundiphoxa.”—UCara.

“Xa ndixelela umama ngomfana endinomdla kuye, wayedla ngokuthi, ‘Ungalindeli ukuba ndiza kubakho kuloo mtshato!’ kunokuba athi ‘Khawutsho unjani lo mhlobo wakho. Yintoni oyithandayo kuye?’ Ukuba umama wayebuza loo mibuzo, kwakuya kuba lula ukuphulaphula icebiso lakhe.”—UNadeine.

Ngokwahlukileyo koko, phawula into eyenzekayo xa abazali beye babaphulaphula ngomonde baza babacebisa kakuhle abantwana babo.

“Abazali bam abazange bandiphoxe xa ndibaxelela ngomfana endinomdla kuye. Bathetha oko ndandikunqwenela, kodwa bebonisa ukuyiqonda indlela endivakalelwa ngayo. Ngenxa yoko,kuba lula ukuphulaphula amacebiso abo nokubachazela izinto ezingakumbi.”—UCorrina.

“Xa abazali bam babendincokolela ngabantu ababebathanda xa babeselula—becacisa nezinto ezabangela ukuba buphele obo buhlobo—oko kwandinceda ndaqonda ukuba yinto entle ukuthetha nabo xa kukho umntu endiwileyo nguye.”—ULinette.

Khumbulani ukuba, maxa wambi kubakho izizathu ezikhokelela ekubeni oselula afune ukuthandana ngaphambi kwexesha.

“Into eyakhokelela ekubeni ndithandane nomnye umfana ngokufihlakeleyo kukuba wayendenza ndonwabe kwaye endiphulaphula.”—UAnnette.

“Kukho umfana endandisoloko ndikunandipha ukuba naye. Wayesoloko enikele inqgalelo kum, into endandibuthathaka kuyo. Ndiyithanda gqitha ingqalelo, efanelekileyo nengafanelekanga.”—UAmy.

“Xa abazali bam bendincoma ubuhle okanye besithi isinxibo esithile siyandifanela, oko kundenza ndingathabatheki kangako xa kukho umfana ondincoma ngolo hlobo.”—UKaren.

Zibuze:

Yintoni endinokuyenza ukuze kube lula ngomntwana wam ukuncokola nam?—Filipi 4:5.

Ngaba ‘ndiyakhawuleza ukuva, ndicothe ukuthetha’?—Yakobi 1:19.

Yintoni endinokuyenza ukuze umntwana wam azive ethandwa yaye amkelekile ekhaya kunokuba aye kukukhangela ngaphandle oko?—Kolose 3:21.

Isibakala: Nceda umntwana wakho afunde indlela yokugcina ubuhlobo nomntu wesini esahlukileyo bukwimeko efanelekileyo yaye bungenazingxaki. Oko kuya kumnceda nokuba sele emdala.—Kolose 3:5; 1 Tesalonika 4:3-6.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Isicangca esikwiphepha 17]

(Ukuba ufuna inkcazelo ehlahlelwe kakuhle, yiya kwimpapasho)

IMIDA

IZINTO ONOKUZENZA

✔ nxulumana ngokwamaqela

✔ zamani ukuqhelana

✔ ncokolani ngezinto ezivuyisayo

ONGAMELE UZENZE

X sukuzikhetha nomntu wesini esahlukileyo

X sukuphalaza kuye iimfihlelo

X sukuba ngudlalani

[Umzobo okwiphepha 18]

(Ukuba ufuna inkcazelo ehlahlelwe kakuhle, yiya kwimpapasho)

UKUNXULUMANA

UKUBA NGUDLALANI

UKUPHATHAPHATHA

UKUBAMBANA NGEZANDLA

UKUPHUZANA